OOC: This event took place on Thursday 11/15 - all apologies for the wait!
LIVE!!!
FROM THE PRUDENTIAL CENTER IN NEWARK, NEW JERSEY!
X-TREME CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Fuzz
- vs -
Amjetkun Socio X-Treme Rules!
Mastermind
- vs -
Noah Jackson
- vs -
Vita Valenteen
- vs -
Maxine Junkyard Match!
In one of the dozens and dozens of trash heaps and junkyards of Newark, our competitors will do battle until one escapes the area!
INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH "Big Beautiful" Bobbi London - vs - Big D Internet Rules New Jersey Street Fight!
No Holds Barred, with each competitor supplied with a pair of brass knuckles!
John Black
- vs -
Barney Green Asses of Fire Match!
Winner will be determined when one man manages to jam a firecracker in his opponent's behind and set it off! (This really happened)
Atara Themis
- vs -
Mini Morbid Tuxedo vs. Evening Gown Match!
The winner will be the competitor who strips his opponent down to the skivvies!
ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Ruby Trash Panda Dumpster Match!
The winner will have to get their opponent into a dumpster in the ringside area and close the lid!
Pyro and fireworks blast OFF inside the arena as Anarchy comes to life! The audience is nearly foaming at the mouth in anticipation of another amazing show full of their favorites.
Eventually the wild camera shots settle on "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane as he sits as usual, alone at his ringside booth with an ear to ear grin.
Vinnie Lane: "Welcome to another installment of XWF ANARCHY!!! Have we got a show for you tonight! The Internet Title is on the line as the TV Champ takes a shot at it... the X-Treme Championship is on the line on Anarchy for the first time! And in the main event, Sarah Lacklan defends her Anarchy Championship against the scrappy upstart Ruby! Now... hold on... oh COME ON!!!!"
“We Appreciate Power” by Grimes hits the speakers and the fans pop huge when they realize they're getting a special appearance by LUX!
Whoa! She's a murderer, she killed Shane ! Shouldn't she be in jail or....hahahahaha, ok, I'll stop.
Lux appears at the top of the ramp and starts making her way to the ring, eyes forward and all business. She slides under the bottom rope and gets a mic in hand quickly.
At least she doesn't have the sword. She's looking kinda stabby.
Lux waits for the pops to die down before speaking. So, I killed a man on Warfare. Some select pops from the audience. Man, these people are nuts! Actually, that's wrong. I stepped on a roach at Warfare. Lux looks right at the camera. Shane was and continued to be a pox on this company. However, I wouldn't have done what I did if that's all he was. But the fact is he was something more dangerous than that.
Shane planted something in my head, a virus calling itself The Engineer. Which is not only an affront to a man who might be the greatest Universal Champion of all time, but a direct assault on yours truly. And with that, Shane evolved from just being a threat to good taste but a threat period.
Anyone looking for an apology for what I did is going to be disappointed, but then again, I haven't gotten many of those requests either. In fact, it's pretty interesting that since I ran Shane through even his biggest defender has stayed pretty goddamn quiet. I'm talking of course, about Unknown Soldier.
This draws a somewhat mixed reaction from the crowd, but he does have his fans.
So what is it Soldier? Biding your time or just shook? See...I don't think you're shook. She starts to pace the ring a bit. So I can only assume you're up to something. I mean, it would be easy heat for me to come out here and tell the world that you're cowering in some corner somewhere. That's what the Chris Page's of the world would do. But I know you better than that. So I'm going to say this instead. When you DO pick your battle with me? Pick carefully. Make it decisive. Strike hard. BREAK ME. Because I swear to God you will not get another chance.
The fans pop again and Lux waits for it to subside once more.
You know, a lot of people have been asking me if I'm disappointed this ended up being you and not Main. And I admit, when you cashed in, I was disappointed. But now? Not so much. One good thing you did was peel back the layers on Robert Main and hold him up to that blinding, cleansing light of day. You showed the world that Main was not made of sterner stuff. Hell, the guy was damn near suicidal just for losing his title, and then since his loss to you, he's been a ghost. Clearly his ability to give a fuck about the XWF expired the moment he lost his shine.
Another reason I'm okay with this? I thought about it and I realized that out of everyone in the XWF, you are the one who stands to be my diametric opposite. You are absolutely everything I am not, and vice versa. Up to and including being a threat to the rest of the planet. And before anyone starts accusing me of being a melodramatic shill, let's not forget that your Universal Champion is standing with the cretins who want to drop this world straight down into the abyss. They're lurking in the closet with the rest of the monsters. And I'm sure Unknown Soldier would like nothing more than to make the world as desolate, and cynical, and meaningless as he is.
I'm not letting that happen.
Lux draws closer to the camera, intensity written on her features.
I am going to kill Unknown Soldier at Lethal Lottery.
The fans pop huge.
I am going to kill Unknown Soldier at Lethal Lottery.
MORE POPS!
I am going to kill Unknown Soldier at Lethal Lottery. Lux repeats it one more time, her voice quaking with rage. The fans start to take up her chant, setting in with a “Lux's gonna kill you! Lux's gonna kill you!”
I think Lux is kinda peeved at the Universal Champion!
Lux goes to the ropes now, holding up the mic to catch the chant from the crowd. She hits up every corner, holding the mic aloft and bearing a grim merciless countenance the whole time. Finally, animated and looking borderline sadistic, she hops back into the middle of the ring as the crowd chant reaches a crescendo.
LUX IS GONNA KILL YOU! She drops the mic, shooting the camera one last withering glare before again hitting up each corner and playing to the crowd.
Whoa dude, I just got word on my earpiece from my good buddy Theo Pryce that it's just been announced that Lux and Unknown Soldier will have a CONTRACT SIGNING for their match at Savage! I can't wait, those ALWAYS end well!
Vinnie Lane: “One of these days, dude, I’m gonna get to do an intro for my own show…”
X-TREME CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Fuzz
- vs -
Amjetkun Socio X-Treme Rules!
Vinnie Lane: “This match is gonna be controversial, I can tell you that much… we wanted to start off the show with a huge title defense, and Fuzz has made it known that he’s a whiny pissbitch who needs attention… so here we are! Does Socio deserve a shot? Probably not, man, but Fuzz needy his bweefcase so now he can get slapped around by this meathead for a few minutes.”
Socio comes out clapping and smiling, then doing the entrance music video routine just killin' it like a pimp on the dance floor. He finishes that bit and goes back to pumping his fists and nuts like a champ until he slips on some grease and has a full blown roid rage fit, spinning clotheslines and uppercuts to dicks, so many fans and ring crew people get hurt.
Vinnie Lane: “God, just look at him. Those muscles are 100% synthol and it’s just so obvious.”
Vinnie Lane: “You just know it feels like getting hit with a bag of quick cement that got left in a wet environment when he clotheslines you, you know? I’m gonna really like watching Fuzz try to hold his saggy cargo shorts up while Am-Jay batters him.”
Vinnie Lane: “Here comes Fuzz, culturally appropriating like crazy. I’ll just describe for you how he walks to the ring, because it’s pretty dumb. He has a ‘pimp walk’ but it’s probably because he zipped his fly up too quick and caught his scrote in there. He’s carrying that X-Treme Title like it’s meaningless, which I guess it kinda is as long as he has it. Good thing he opened his big mouth and wants to get whipped by me at Lethal Lotto!” Fuzz gets to the ring and referee Lawanda Sass holds the belt up for the crowd, then calls for the bell.
Socio is quick to start stalking Fuzz, trying to corner him and pressure him with the SQUUEEEEEEEEZE. Fuzz does an adequate job of evading, but doesn’t seem to know how to approach the bizarre Socio with all the mesomorphia and whatnot going on there. It’s like trying to wrestle a balloon animal, but one that throws punches really hard.
Socio gets annoyed and impatient, already looking like he’s got a bad case of the meat sweats. He flings a wild overhand toward Fuzz, but Fuzz ducks out of the corner wiggerly. Socio crashes and burns in the buckles, and Fuzz hops onto his back looking for a lungblower, but Socio uses his patented refusal to accept reality to somehow defy gravity and entropy at the same time and doesn’t go backward. Socio reaches up and back, grabbing the base of Fuzz’s head, right where you just KNOW he is dying to grow a rat tail. Socio flings him forward and down, slamming the X-Treme Champion’s spine on the top buckle and locking him into a tree of woe.
Vinnie Lane: “Fuzz in trouble right out of the gate, what a shock, right? He’s wrestling a dude with the muscle mass of a water buffalo, what did he expect?”
Socio takes a running start and throws a diving elbow onto the dangling chicken neck of Fuzz. The impact frees Fuzz from his upside down prison and he lands limply on Socio’s back. Sosh (I call him Sosh, we’re buds) stands with Fuzz on his shoulders and walks around the ring military pressing him like a god damn beast. He even does a few squats for that booty. Gotta please the ladies, that’s what Sosh always says.
Socio tosses Fuzz like a bad of garbage, and Fuzz is stunned by the impact. Socio winds up his arm and waits for Fuzz to regain his vertical base, and when he does he tries to decapitate him with a lariat with the strength of 10,000 butterfly chest pulls at max rep weight. Fuzz Matrix-ducks just in time, though and the whiff causes Socio’s balance to be compromised. He finds himself running sternum first into the ropes, and Fuzz nails him in the back of the head with a dropkick that sends Amjetkun up and over, crashing to the ringside floor.
Fuzz pauses and waits while Socio lumbers back to his feet, then springboards over the top rope in a crossbody… but Socio plucks him out of the air like a proud papa tossing his toddler up and down. You know how I mean. Like the dad loves his kid but he also thinks hey if something accidentally happens here he’s probably better off dying young and laughing than living a life of letdowns and bullying? Yeah, like that. Socio crotches Fuzz and tosses him backwards over his head in a release fallaway slam, sending him into the barricade. The fencing slides backward violently and scatters the front row fans.
Vinnie Lane: “Fuzz is getting his ass handed to him. It’s kinda rad, honestly.”
Socio climbs to the apron and gestures for a ringside assistant by making a “chug chug” motion with his hand. The crewman tosses a protein drink up and Socio totally Mosses that shit like he was in the back corner of the end zone and Daunte Culpeper just floated him a perfect rainbow. Nice. A second shake follows, and Socio slams them together and gets them good and foamy before draining them both down with a few errant rivulets flowing out of the corners of his mouth.
Fuzz has dragged himself up, leaning heavily on the guard rail. Socio leaps from the apron with a PUMPED double ax, but Fuzz was playing possum! He sidesteps and grabs Socio around the back of his neck and adds some extra momentum as Socio crashes face first onto the top of the railing. You can tell he’s hurt because some of his vascularity diminishes.
Fuzz keeps the heat on, grabbing Socio and lifting him for an atomic drop, but he plants him onto the rail so he’s straddling it, and you know what that means. Socio’s dick n’ balls bear the brunt of the impact. Fuzz then steps back and runs forward, pulling Socio off of the rail with a bulldog to the floor. Socio is flattened. Fuzz pulls him to his feet and rolls him into the ring, then follow suit. Standing over the unmoving Socio, Fuzz scrambles up a corner and motions to the crowd… the flying elbow drop connects! He might have stopped Socio’s heart with that one!
1!
2!!
Socio kicks out!
As a matter of fact, he bench presses his way out, and he looks hungry for more reps. He holds an open palm out and a protein drink slaps right into his hand. Whoever is throwing those things has immaculate aim. Socio chugs the drink and then spews some in Fuzz’s eyes, and Socio grabs him up and executes a Side Suplex Slam Thingamabobber! That’s what it’s really called! Fuzz arches his back in pain, still trying to clear away the protein shake from his face, but Socio grabs him again… and he has him up and locked in the SSHHHHH Hold! Fuzz is fighting but his strength is waning!
Vinnie Lane: “Pardon me folks, I’ll be right back.”
Vinnie Lane tosses his headset onto the desk and then grabs a chair from nearby, sliding into the ring behind Socio. With a huge wind up he cracks Socio on the back of the skull, causing him to drop Fuzz but not knocking Socio down. Socio is dazed, and he turns to see what happened… and Vinnie slams the chair down onto the top of his head! The chair folds and looks like a metal sculpture of Socio, and then Vinnie pries it off and shoves the now completely unconscious Socio onto his back. Vinnie grabs a mic and crouches next to Fuzz, who’s trying to regain his senses and figure out what’s going on.
Vinnie Lane: “There you go, Fuzz! I took care of it for you buddy! You didn’t think I’d let you LOSE the X-Tree Title tonight did you? Not a chance dude! Not when we have a playdate scheduled for Lethal Lotto!”
Fuzz gestures and swears inaudibly.
Vinnie Lane: “Shut up, Fuzz. Pin the man! This ought to make Savage REALLY entertaining, right? Man, it’s gonna be WICKED.”
Fuzz keeps griping but he does crawl over top of Socio. What? You think he’s going to let morals get in the way of his championship reign? Come on.
Fuzz drapes an arm over Socio.
Vinnie Lane: “That’s right, employee! Do what the bossman says! Now I did you a favor and you can quit your whining and crying about how UNFAIR everything is! WAAAAAH! Vinnie doesn’t just hand me stuff! WAAAAAAAH!”
1!
Vinnie Lane: “You’re the champion because I ALLOW it, dude! Isn’t that awesome? And at Lethal Lotto, I’m just gonna take it away! No briefcase for Fuzz! AWWWW!”
2!!
Vinnie Lane: “See you in the ring, Fuzz! I’ve got work to do, buddy!”
3!!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Fuzz
Fuzz has his hand raised and his belt handed to him, but he just angrily leaves the area, blabbering a bunch of obscenities in Vinnie’s direction. Vinnie, of course, has his security detail surrounding him by now so there’s no chance of Fuzz getting even a finger on him, but he puts on a show before finally giving up and heading to the back, still X-Treme Champion.
We cut backstage to the entrance of the building, where a recognizable Slav in a tracksuit is seen entering the arena.
Boris: Right this way blin!
Walking with him is EDWARD, wearing the nicest suit you can find in the discount rant of a Goodwill. The two walk down a hallway with Boris explaining things to EDWARD.
Boris: In middle of show, they will call your name. You come out and get big award.
EDWARD: Edward...get shiny?
Boris: Yes blin, very shiny. For all you've done for the XWF.
The two reach the end of a long hallway, and Boris opens the door to a dark room.
Boris: Wait here blin. Someone will get you when it is time.
The confused EDWARD walks into the room. He looks around, but all he sees is darkness.
EDWARD: Where does Edward sit?
Before anything else can be said, a loud THUD I heard, and EDWARD crashes to the ground. The figure walks away from EDWARD and out to the hallway to reveal Centurion, holding a hammer and a bottle of vodka. He hands the vodka to Boris, who salutes him.
Boris: Pleasure as always, comrade!
Vinnie Lane: "Well that was an exciting opener for Anarchy but now we are headed outside for a Junkyard Brawl. I hope we can find one close by."
Vinnie Lane gets up from his comfortable set at the announcers table and walks off stage. The camera crew immediately goes to work and quickly get's Lane back on camera as he walks through the back towards one of the arena's many exits. He pushes the metal handle on the door downward as the door begins to open right into a the opening of a big rectangular glass box fully equipped with a makeshift announcers table and seat. Once seated inside the box a thick slab of glass is lowered downward along the back of the box effectively sealing it off from the outside.
As Vinnie sits down four men all wearing vibrant yellow Hazmat suits come around the corner. Each one grabs a small metal poll that shots off from the four corners of the box and in unison lift the glass structure up off the ground and carry it approximately 15 feet before setting it down atop a cement platform directly in front of one of Newark's very finest junkyards.
Vinnie Lane: "Well that was easier than I thought."
Mastermind
- vs -
Noah Jackson
- vs -
Vita Valenteen
- vs -
Maxine Junkyard Match!
In one of the dozens and dozens of trash heaps and junkyards of Newark, our competitors will do battle until one escapes the area!
Vinnie Lane: "Looks like Maxine is already ready for the match as she is standing in the middle of the junkyard all by herself. Where the hell are the other people in the match?"
Maxine stands in the middle of the open expanse when out of nowhere comes a hard charging Vita Valenteen who takes Maxine down with a cross body block. Maxine hits the ground hard as Vita rolls off of her opponent and then get's back to her feet staring down at Maine.
Vinnie Lane: "Talk about making a first impression."
Vita screams something down at Maxine as she reaches down and grabs Maxine by the chin and slaps her across the face, not once but twice. The second of which seems to flip a switch for Maxine as the hulking woman get's to her feet and once there reaches out and grabs Vita by the throat almost enveloping it with her giant meat hook. With her open right fist Maxine rears back...
Vinnie Lane: "Looks like the "Anarchy" Champion is about to get some free facial reconstruction surgery."
CRUNCH!!!!
Maxine goes down in a heap as Noah Jackson tosses the now smashed in trash can to the ground next to Maxine. Noah and Vita exchange high fives like two grease monkeys and then start laying boots to Maxine's body.
The barrage of boots is interrupted by a flying car door that takes out both Noah and Vita.
Vinnie Lane: "Mastermind SMASH!!"
Any thoughts of Mastermind potentially teaming up with Maxine to fend off Vita and Noah is quickly dashed as Mastermind grabs Maxine by the hair and drags her towards an area of the junkyard filled with the demolished vehicles. Mastermind places Maxine up against a crunched up vehicle in an upright seated position and then walks about 15 feet in the opposite direction picking up loose tire on the way. Once far enough away Mastermind lines the tire up with Maxine and then rolls it down towards her, the tire picking up speed as it closes in on its target as well as some air just in time to make contact with Maxine's face breaking her nose on impact.
The tire falls to its side on the ground as blood starts pouring out of the front of Maxine's face.
Vinnie Lane: "The good news is that Maxine's face was one for radio to begin with."
Mastermind turns his attention from the devastation he's just caused just in time to see Noah Jackson leaping off a tower of trash towards him. The Masterer of Minds has no time to react taking a flying elbow to the dome.
Both Mastermind and Noah fall to the ground with both men having sustained some damage from the high flying maneuver.
From off in the distance comes Vita with some sort of weapon in her hand. It takes a few seconds for her to get close enough to the camera's for them to focus on the item in her hand...a miniature fake Christmas, sorry Holiday tree wrapped in barbed wire.
Hey Mastermind... Vita shouts loud enough to get Mastermind to lift his head up off the ground just high enough to allow for Vita to swing her barbed wire tree at his face connecting right on the cheek, the barbed wire attaching itself to Mastermind's flesh long enough to rip some chunks out of the side of his face.
Vinnie Lane: "That's gonna leave a mark. Also, did anyone notice that there was a junkyard right outside the door of this arena? How is that even possible? What a gross city."
Noah Jackson starts to stir using the aid of an upright trash can to pull himself up to his feet. Jackson is startled when the lid of the trash can lifts up...
Noah Jackson: "Ayyy Oscar you crazy cunt. What are you doing here?"
Oscar The Grouch: "What am I doing here? Fuck you I live here. What are YOU doing here?"
Noah Jackson: "Mind if I borrow that for a sec?" Noah asks as he grabs the trash can lid out of Oscar's hand and charges at Mastermind.
Oscar The Grouch: "Hey come back here you Kangaroo Fucking Cock Stain! That's part of my house!"
Vinnie Lane: Something tells me PBS is about to get some very angry emails from soccer moms the world over.
Noah swings the metal lid at Mastermind's head but the Kiwi Crusader blocks the move with his forearm and then with his other forearm smashes Noah in the mouth busting his lip open. Mastermind then pulls the lid out of Noah's hand and smashes it over Noah's head before tossing the piece of contorted metal to the ground.
Oscar The Grouch: "I'm gonna get you for that Noah Jackson. I better never see you on The Street!" Oscar shouts before descending back into his lair.
Vinnie Lane: “This is all really weird… I think I just saw a snuffleupagus!”
With Noah left bleeding, Mastermind begins scaling the fencing surrounding the junkyard. He’s most of the way up when Vita, a notorious ankle biter, grabs him by both legs and dangles from them, preventing him from getting up and over.
Vita does her best to pull the Kiwi back into the junk, but MM kicks and bucks well enough to keep her from doing so. It looks like Mastermind might lose his grip after fighting hard, though, but then Maxine grabs Vita Valenteen in a GOOZLE!
Vinnie Lane: “Maxine is choking the life out of Vita, but I don’t think she realizes what a huge favor she just did for Mastermind!”
Max choke slams the ever loving piss out of Vita Valenteen, dropping her into a pile of old mufflers with a loud bang. But when she turns around, Mastermind has scaled the fencing and hops down to the outside!
Winner by Escape - Mastermind
Vinnie Lane: “That’s a huge win for Mastermind! He just inserted himself into the Anarchy Title conversation here tonight!”
INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH "Big Beautiful" Bobbi London - vs - Big D Internet Rules New Jersey Street Fight!
No Holds Barred, with each competitor supplied with a pair of brass knuckles!
Vinnie Lane: “Oh man, this match has been the talk of Twitter ever since it was booked, ladies and gents! The crossover attention of Anarchy continues as Big D, the reigning Television Champion, attempts to take the Internet Title off of the only woman to ever hold it… Bobbi London!”
As "X-Men Theme" by Powerglove begins to play over the PA system, spotlights begin to shine all over the arena of a 'D'. After a moment, Big D walks onto the entrance ramp, TV Title around his waist. He puts his arms in the air, before heading down the aisle, focused on the ring. He then walks up the steel steps and climbs into the ring, before walking over to a corner, climbing to the second rope, and putting his arms in the air once again. After that, he hops down and waits.
Vinnie Lane: “Folks the TV Champ is here! Big D is hoping to hand a big L to the Queen B of the XWF’s Internet Division! And she’s making him put his money where his mouth is… if he doesn’t win the title here tonight, he’s got to defend HIS championship against London!”
The XWF Internet Champion comes out to thunderous applause as she prepares for her biggest challenge to date; the XWF Television Champion. Their war of words escalated to a fever pitch over social media after Big D called Bobbi out on only competing on Anarchy and not daring to take her talent to the other brands. Bobbi responded to the champ with a challenge of her own, one that she would reiterate tonight.
The spotlight shown down on the blonde bomber from Oz, her Internet Title straining to contain her massive girth. She pats the championship that is sure to leave her waist tonight, one way or the other. She pulls out her microphone and addresses the crowd in her usual way, through the art of rap...
"I's been XWF Anarchy from the bloody start;
bleedin for yous lot, showing nothing but 'eart!
Internet Champion from the day of the title's inception;
Beating up more pussies than Gilly's Super Dick erection!
Tonight all of that ends...me reign comes to a close;
No, not losing me title, that everybody knows!
Champion verses Champion, I's putting me title on the line;
I beat Big D and I vacate or 'e pins me and takes what's mine!
That's never gonna 'appen Luvs, Big D is going down;
No bloody chance in 'ell I's losing to that roided up clown!
Big D wanted to take me title, well instead I's taking 'is;
The only way 'e beats me is in 'is dreams where I's covered in jizz!
Big D talked a big game, so let's see what 'appens when it's finally put to the test;
But I's will tell you all now that 'e's going down like all the rest!
Big Beautiful Bobbi L is gonna smash Big D to show 'e was just a pretender;
At the end of the night this Aussie will stand proud as yous new Television Champ #1 Contender!"
Bobbi pulls off her Internet Title and kisses it, then holds the title high over her head as she marches down the ramp showing it for all to see.
Vinnie Lane: “Always the crowd pleaser! Bobbi London has defined the Internet Division here on the anarchy brand ever since winning the title… defenses against Ashley Ackles and even her own partner, Maxine, have cemented her as a force to be reckoned with… but will Big D show her the respect she feels she deserves?”
The bell sounds and D races across the ring, dropping Bobbi with a shoulder tackle as he catches her off guard.
Vinnie Lane: “Nope!”
Big D lays in some big feet, stomping and kicking all over Bobbi until she manages to struggle back up to a vertical base. They exchange a few shots and London flicks him in the eye! Referee Mika Hunt admonishes the Internet Champion but Bobbi brushes her off, knowing there aren’t any DQs, and starts waylaying D with big haymakers. Big D staggers in a circle, and when he comes back around Bobbi drills him with a series of punches along with theatrics… the ol’ flip flop and fly! She finishes it off and Big D is dropped with a bionic elbow from London!
Bobbi takes a step back and then Fargo Struts forward, hopping into the air to drop a knee on Big D’s high-and-tight jarhead. Big D scoots away though! Bobbi crashes down onto her patella and howls in pain, clutching at her leg as she rolls away. Big D sees this and shoots his shot, grabbing Bobbi’s ankle on her hurting leg, extending her leg to the side and dropping a big elbow into London’s groin. He holds on in a modified indian death lock while Bobbi flails, and then he flips Bob over and hooks her foot in an STF!
Vinnie Lane: “Man, Big D is AWFUL at that move! Look how much free space there is between his arms and Bobbi’s chin! Close the window, D!”
Bobbi is able to withstand the hold, dragging herself to the bottom rope and causing a break! Big D goes ballistic, as it seems the ref has acted on instinct and forgotten the no holds barred aspect of the match!
Vinnie Lane: “Big mistake by the official, dude! The damage is done though, Bobbi is free and she’s crawled her way back to her corner where those brass knucks are hanging!”
London grabs the knuckles but Big D sees her and slams a gut kick into her before she can slip the weapon over her hand. He then goes to his own corner for his own pair of knuckles, but Bobbi gets a head of steam and charges into him from behind, splashing him right up against the turnbuckles in his corner. Big D’s knuckles fall out of the ring to the floor below, and Bobbi pulls the fallen Big D closer to the corner and then climbs up to the second rope… vader bomb from Bobbi London! But Big D got the knees up at the last second and London got it all!
Bobbi rolls off of D, kicking her legs in pain. Big D looks for his brass knuckles but doesn’t realize they’ve fallen to the floor. By the time he gives up the search and turns back to London, she’s gotten back to a vertical base and catches the Television Champion, scooping him onto her shoulders and dropping backwards in a Samoan Drop, leaving both wrestlers gasping for breath on the mat.
Eventually they both start to crawl, and Bobbi gets to her corner and retrieves her brass knuckles. Big D realizes what’s happening and heads her way but he gets jawjacked right in the mush by Bobbi’s loaded fist! Big D’s lights go out and Bobbi tosses her knucks out to the crowd while standing over him… and then someone leaps over the guardrail!
Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! That’s Ned Kaye! Notorious Ned Kaye is back on Anarchy!!!”
Ned grabs the knuckles that fell from Big D’s corner and slides into the ring, unbeknownst to Bobbi London… and he slams the knuckles right into the back of her head before diving back out of the ring and hustling to the back before security can grab him.
Bobbi London crashes down forward, though! She lands right on Big D in a splash, both of them are out cold!
1!
2!!
3!!!
Winner by Pinfall - Bobbi London
Vinnie Lane: “Bobbi just got the win! She’s defended her title and earned a shot at Big D’s! But now she’s got a score to settle with Ned Kaye… wow, what a show!”
John Black
- vs -
Barney Green Asses of Fire Match!
Winner will be determined when one man manages to jam a firecracker in his opponent's behind and set it off! (This really happened)
Vinnie Lane: “Ladies and gentlemen, this match was a bad idea when the Japanese did it, and it’s an even worse one right now!”
As "Tell ME what I'm After" blares over the X-Tron, as the drum kicks in, Black comes out in a jacket and shades while the smoke follows him down to the ring. Black then stands in the ramp, and fist bumps the fans, and gives his shades to one of the kids, and fist bumps them. Black then goes to the steel steps and enters the ring.
Vinnie Lane: “One thing you can always count on in the XWF is that John Black is going to have new entrance music. It’s really reliable!”
"Like A Prayer" by Madonna starts to play through out the arena as fans start to cheer slightly. A black Jeep, driven by John Lauriniaits, appears at the top of the ramp slowly driving forward as we see Barney Green standing in the back waving the Irish Flag. The jeep stops and Green leaps out of it. He waves the flag one last time and places it back into the Jeep. He walks down the ramp and high fives a couple fans. He enters the ring and waits in the corner as the music fades.
Vinnie Lane: “There were rumors swirling around the internet that Barney was hospitalized with severe leukoplakia after a lifetime of chewing Grizzly Wintergreen long cut, but he looks fine to me!”
Both competitors stare at one another from across the ring.
Vinnie Lane: "Oh man, this match is going to BLOW you guys away. Man, I'm hilarious. I saw this match once before when I was a kid and it was great! Let's hope Black and Green can fill those shoes."
DING! DING! DING!
With a heavy sigh from both competitors, the match begins.
The two lock up in the center of the ring, a test of strength ends with Black gaining quick control with a knee to the inside of Green's leg and transitions into a headlock. Green takes Black's weight and throws him back with a side suplex but John rolls out of the hold and onto his feet; Green turns into a strong haymaker to his stomach followed by a straight to the sternum. Green rocks and John Black follows up with a DDT!
The mat rumbles as both men crash down to the canvas, Black quickly steps back up but Green, not out of it yet, snags Black's leg from under him and the Green Meanie mounts Black before throwing heavy left and rights. Black's head snaps to and fro with the blows and his arms begin to go heavy as he can't keep up with the barrage. Green then ends his assault, lifting Black up with an arm and spins him around before hurling him into the corner, Barney quickly (for him) following up with a spear! But eats nothing but the post!
Green is caught in between the turnbuckles from his failed tackle, Black rolling deftly out the way pantses Barney to the horror of the crowd.
Vinnie Lane: "Ugh. Now that Green's lost weight we can see his Boston Bruiser."
Black retrieves the firecracker from his jocks and sticks it between Barney's cheeks! Green kinda enjoys it but struggles not wanting to lose. He gets loose, throwing an elbow back and knocking John aside! Green turns to grab Black's arm and hurls him into the corner, Green gives a quick boot for good measure before twirling slowly slapping his meaty cheeks. Green positions his buttocks in front of Black going for a deadly stink face! But Black quickly grabs the lighter from his pocket and ignites the firecracker before Green's ass defiles Black's face!
The fuse crackles as Green stands shocked, like a deer in the headlights!
Vinnie Lane: "DUDE! Can imagine how much methane is in Barney's body!? Everyone take cover!!!"
Black rolls out of the ring, his ears covering his hands as he lays prone on the outside. Green tries his best to pick out the firecracker from his booty but can't seem to find the firework as it is slowly swallowed deeper into the vast amount of cellulite.
Green panics, flailing around the ring.
Until...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!
Green lays on the ground, his ass hair on fire as officials rush the ring to extinguish the fire. The ref raises Black's hand on the outside and calls for the bell!
Winner by Anal Destruction - John Black
Vinnie peeks his head up from behind his commentary booth.
Vinnie Lane: "I am a very talented booker! That was stupid cool."
We again cut backstage to see a single light being shined on the face of EDWARD. He slowly comes to and attempts to stand, but his arm is clamped down onto a table in front of him. EDWARD looks around at the dark room around him, then straight ahead, where Centurion is sitting.
Centurion: Good morning, sunshine. Get a nice rest?
EDWARD yells out and tries to get to his feet, but his arm is not budging from the table. He violently tries to shake loose, but to no avail.
Centurion: Oh, save your energy. The only way your getting out of this is if you chew your own arm off.
EDWARD looks at his own arm and actually attempts to bite it, but his head is too far away and he can not reach.
Centurion: I've already accounted for that.
Centurion gets up from his chair and walks over to Edward, crouching down next to him. He takes off his glove, revealing his stitched up, swolen thumb.
Centurion: Is this what you like to do to people, huh? You bite thumbs off? Do you find that funny?
EDWARD snaps his teeth toward Centurion's hand, and he quickly pulls it back and slides his glove back off.
Centurion: Feisty. That's fine. You're going to learn real quick that I can also be a sick son of a bitch.
Centurion stands up straight and grabs his hammer. He then immediately smashes the hammer into EDWARD'S right hand a few times. EDWARD screams out as Centurion continues his punishment.
Centurion: What's the matter, Ed? Can't take the pain? Sucks having your hand damaged, doesn't it?
Centurion wacks EDWARD'S hand a few more times, leaving a mangled, bloody mess of a hand on the table. EDWARD continues to yell as he tries to shake free and get to his feet.
Centurion: I don't believe in "eye for an eye". I believe in "hand for a thumb". You fuck with me, and you get SO much worse back in response. You should never have taken Thunder Knuckles' cash.
Centurion gives EDWARD one last shot to the hand before taking the hammer and wacking EDWARD over the head, knocking him out once again.
Centurion: Have a good nap.
Centurion walk out of the room and opens the door. Immediately standing on the other side of the door is Ruby, who looks at Centurion with a look of surprise and confusion. Centurion looks at his hammer, back to Ruby, back into the dark room, the back to Ruby again.
Centurion: ...I was fixing a pipe.
Ruby nods, but she clearly doesn't buy it. Centurion pats her on the shoulder.
Centurion: Good luck out there tonight, bud.
Centurion's previous face of anger is replaced with one of softness. Ruby smiles in response.
Ruby: Thanks!
Centurion smiles back and walks away, leaving Ruby there to smile. After a few seconds, the sound of a screaming EDWARD is heard from the room next to her, causing Ruby to jump and take off down the hallway.
Atara Themis
- vs -
Mini Morbid Tuxedo vs. Evening Gown Match!
The winner will be the competitor who strips his opponent down to the skivvies!
The crowd comes alive as Atara Themis walks from the back in an elegant ball gown with a HIGH slit up her leg. Men in the audience are apoplectic over the sheer mileage of skin.
Vinnie Lane: “WOW! Newcomer and newly crowned Heavy Metalweight Champion Atara Themis is here looking HEAVENLY!”
Themis settles in her corner while the crowd still whistles and catcalls to her. She waves at them all and obliges them with little flashes of thigh here and there as they all await the familiar black metal intro of her opponent, Mini Morbid.
Vinnie Lane: “What the crap?”
The lights go totally black as Frank Sinatra’s dulcet, crooning voice fills the arena. A single spotlight appears at the top of the ramp, showing a dapper Mini Morbid dressed in a beautiful tuxedo with gleaming golden cufflinks and tails. His shining shoes reflect the glare of the spotlight as he begins to do a little dance.
Vinnie Lane: “This is maybe the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen… Mini Morbid, the gentleman?”
Mini pulls a pair of fine white gloves over his hands as two rows of backup dancers equally well-dressed as himself file out along either side of the entrance ramp. One of them tosses a walking cane topped with a polished silver lion’s head to the lunatic despot of Mini Morbidonia, and he catches it in stride as he dances like Fred Astaire himself down to the ring.
He breaks into a full tap routine, twirling his walking stick as his dancers sway and dance in unison in a fantastically choreographed number. The elegance and grace in which Mini Morbid makes his way to the ring is simply unparalleled. A singular moment in XWF history.
The song fades away as Mini stands in the ring in his tuxedo, ready to commence.
DING!
The bell sounds, and Mini Morbid gets within sniffing distance of his opponent, Atara Themis. Suddenly, his own crotch leaps upward and slams himself in his own face like a brutal uppercut.
Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! Mini just got cold cocked! I think he got KO’d by his own vicious erection!”
Mini Morbid falls backward in a pile, his expensive shoes flying off into the crowd. Atara Themis looks puzzled, but then takes full advantage by grabbing the loudly snoring Mini by the cuffs of his pants, holding him upside down, and then shaking him like someone trying to get a trash bag out of the can when it’s too full.
Vinnie Lane: “Hey! You can’t do that Atara, you’ll give him shaken baby syndrome!”
After a few rough shakes, Mini’s perpetually greased up baby oiled body flops out of the tuxedo through the neck hole. He’s left lying in the ring wearing nothing but his gloves, mask, and bright yellow G-string banana hammock.
Referee Chaz Bobo calls for the bell and Atara Themis mercifully drapes the tux over Mini, covering his bare skin.
Winner by Forced Disrobing - Atara Themis
Vinnie Lane: “Welp, absolutely nobody wanted to see any of that! Congrats on being 2-0 though, Miss Themis! Sorry about that near-sexual assault!”
ANARCHY CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Sarah Lacklan
- vs -
Ruby Trash Panda Dumpster Match!
The winner will have to get their opponent into a dumpster in the ringside area and close the lid!
Vinnie Lane: "Folks you are NOT going to believe what I have just been informed of... apparently New Jersey has SO much trash that they needed every dumpster available. They confiscated or dumpsters, dude! So as a result, we're going to have to have tonight's main event be a standard match... I know you're all mad as heck about it... I am too! Darn you Jersey! DARN YOU!!!! We'll do the dumpster stip at the pay per view. Promise!"
A playful guitar riff bursts out through the PA. Main event time, folks! The crowd cheers as yellow and green lights color the white smoke spewn from the floor. But in spite of the colors, Ruby emerges sans mask and/or costume. Nevertheless, her spirit remains as cheerful as ever as she jumps up and down, a little ball of energy that fires up the crowd even more.
She rushes down the aisle, only to go back up and down again, her hands streaking past those of the fans, some of which are smacking the ringside area boards for extra noise. It’s clear this is a big occasion, and Ruby takes a second to collect herself, taking it all in before sliding into the ring. She rolls through, does a cartwheel and follows it up with a corkscrew salto for good measure, landing on her knees in hat’s almost reminiscent of a superhero landing. A sign of things to come, or just old muscle memory? She grins, and runs up the turnbuckles, raising her arms before backflipping off again, nailing the landing. SHe takes a deep breath, hearing her own music die down, to the dismay of many an enthusiastic sing-along-singer in the crowd.
The lights in the Prudential Center go out, causing the New Jersey crowd to take out their cellphones to light the way. As the silent darkness stretches into awkwardness, a voice blasts through the P.A.
"EYES ON ME!"
A red spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp as guitars start to play. The curtain splits and Sarah Grey-Lacklan calmly walks out onto the ramp. In a high-necked gown of black and red, black raven feathers rising from the collar and adding inches to her height, she looks out over the sea of fans with coldness. The XWF Anarchy Heavyweight Championship catches the red spotlight and shines brightly as she begins her slow walk down the ramp. The spotlight follows her as she makes her way down the aisle, the champion careful to not let anyone touch her as they hold out their hands, a clear departure from how Sarah engaged with them even weeks before. When she approaches the ring, she stops and stares at Ruby, her odd red eyes locking onto the brown of her opponent for several seconds, before she walks over to the steps and slowly ascends them. Upon finally entering the ring, she stands in the corner silently, never once removing her eyes from Ruby.
Tig O'Bitties: The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL...and is for the XWF Anarchy HEAVYWEIGHT Championshiiiiiiip!
Tig lowers the mic to allow the crowd to cheer before continuing.
TIg O’Bitties: To my right, standing at 5’1” and weighing in tonight at 130 pounds...from Ottawa in the great province of Ontario in Canada...she has an overall Anarchy record of 8 wins...3 losses...and 1 draw...making her first challenge for the Anarchy Champion...she is...RUUUUUUUUUBYYYYYYYYYYY
The Tiny Canadian casually back flips twice in quick succession, before raising a hand into the air. Some flippy ish to annoy her challenger, perhaps? She certainly looks displeased.
Tig O’Bitties: And to my left...standing at 5’2” and weighing in tonight at 140 pounds...hailing from Bangor, Maine but now fighting out of the Hills of Hollywood, California...with an overall Anarchy record of 9 wins...1 loss...and 2 draws...and making her second defense of the championship...she is YOUR reigning...and defending...Anarchy Heavyweight Champion….Sarah Greyyyyyy-LACKlaaaaaaan!
Sarah unbuckles the title from behind her waist and then slowly raises it up into the air with her right hand, letting the strap dangle down her body, never letting her eyes leave Ruby’s.
Tig O’Bitties: Your referee tonight, as requested by both participants, is the unstoppable, unarguable, unmistakable Lawanda Sass, so that, in their own words, there will be NO mistaking who the winner is tonight, because Lawanda doesn’t take ANY shit from ANYone!
The crowd cheers for Lawanda and her legendary strength of character as the two competitors come together. Lawanda gives them both last-minute instructions and takes the Anarchy Championship from Sarah to show the time-keeper. All the while, Sarah coldly stares at Ruby, and the former banana-lime girl doesn’t back down. Lawanda instructs them to retreat to their neutral corners, and while Ruby does so dutifully, Sarah stays in the center of the ring, keeping her cold stare on her challenger. Lawanda shrugs her shoulders and motions towards Nipsey Russel.
DING! DING! DING!
Ruby bounds out of her corner, bouncing on her toes, and Sarah stays motionless, still in her entrance robe, staring at Ruby. Ruby circles Sarah, her face full of caution, but Sarah only moves her eyes, keeping Ruby in her peripherals until she comes back to the front. Ruby cracks her neck, shrugs her shoulders, and rushes at Sarah, throwing up her arms for a grapple.
And eats a face-full of Red Mist!
Just as Ruby shoots in, Sarah leans forward and spews forth the toxic mist! Ruby clutches at her eyes, suddenly blinded and in pain, and then gets her head cracked in with a vicious kick from Sarah! Another kick from Sarah doubles Ruby over, and as she tries to clear the mist from her eyes, Sarah leans in and raises up her leg, connecting with a short knee to Ruby’s face and knocking her backward and to the mat into a seated position. The crowd boos the sneak attack as Sarah hurriedly removes her robe, tossing it outside of the ring, and then hits the ropes and rushes back at the blind Ruby. Sarah sends a penalty kick into Ruby’s face and torso hard enough to put her back to the mat, and Sarah immediately goes for the cover. Lawanda might be taken aback by the sudden attack, but she is there to make the count.
ONE!
…---…
TWO!
…---…
Kickout!
Ruby instinctively kicks out at two, still blind and surprised, and Sarah growls in frustration at Lawanda. But Lawanda gives her a stern look and holds up two fingers, first to her and then to Nipsey, and Sarah has no choice but to continue. She takes Ruby by the head, getting two full hands of hair, and slams her knee into Ruby’s head again with a scream. Ruby slams back down onto the mat and Sarah runs, hitting the ropes and coming back with a knee drop to Ruby’s forehead, taking the time to pinpoint her knee directly onto the top of Ruby’s head. As Ruby’s hands again go to her head, Sarah takes the time to send in several kicks to Ruby’s exposed ribs, followed by stomps of her heeled boots. Lawanda warns her that she needs to either pin Ruby or get her off the ground, and Sarah rolls her eyes.
Sarah bends down to take Ruby by the hair again, and forces her to her feet with a heave. But Ruby sends a punch into Sarah’s gut as they stand, momentarily stunning the champion. A second punch puts some distance between their bodies, and Ruby sends a third, which causes Sarah to release her hair. Ruby shakes her head and runs backward into the ropes, rebounding with sudden speed, but Sarah leaps forward and drives a knee into Ruby’s gut, forcing her into a full cartwheel, the kitchen sink knee catching her just right. The crowd boos as Sarah takes a moment to stand against the robes and breathe, her hands checking her own ribs, before turning back to Ruby.
Seeing that Ruby has gotten to her hands and knees, Sarah screams and runs forward, looking for another kick. But Ruby lunges forward and away from Sarah, grabbing the bottom rope as she does so. Her distance and momentum completely off, Sarah’s eyes go wide as she stumbles and slips between the ropes, the lowered bottom rope causing her to take a spill to the outside. The crowd cheers as Ruby rubs at her eyes, trying to get the mist completely away so that she can see, and the cheers from the crowd pushes her on. Through the haze, she sees Sarah getting up on the outside of the ring, and Ruby doesn’t hesitate. She takes ahold of the top rope with both hands, pulls down into a squat, and launches herself upwards as Sarah starts to turn. Ruby throws out her arms and slams into Sarah’s unsuspecting body with the springboard plancha, and the flippy expert rolls away with the impact, already on her feet as Sarah begins to hold the back of her head from the impact it had on the outside.
Lawanda: 1...2...
Ruby throws her arms up into the air as she shakes her head, trying to push away the cobwebs. Several members of the crowd reach out to her, fans wearing the yellow and green of their favorite superhero. Ruby sees them and nods...but then gives a small shake of her head.
Lawanda: 3...4…
On the outside, Ruby has been very vocal about not being worthy of being the hero to the fans right now, and taking down Lacklan would only be the start, not the end of the journey. But she does give them a wink as she bursts forward with sudden speed and launches herself at an Anarchy Champion that has gotten to her hands and knees, and she goes up and comes crashing down with both legs in a double leg drop onto Sarah’s back. The champion yells out in pain as 130 pounds slam her face down onto the protective mat. Back in the ring goes Ruby to break up Lawanda’s count at 6, but not for long, as she runs against the far ropes, runs back, and times her next dive to again catch Sarah as she is getting to her feet. The Tope Con Hero connects, the single forward flip forcing Ruby’s back down across Sarah’s shoulders, and Ruby again lands on her feet while her victim takes the full force of the damage.
Lawanda: 1...2...
But Ruby isn’t done! She climbs onto the apron and then up to the top rope, keeping her back to Sarah. She turns her head to look down and see that Sarah is still on the floor...she is...she looks forward, sets her feet, and flings herself backward. One and a half rotations later and she slams down onto Sarah with a double moonsault that just didn’t have enough spring.
Lawanda: 3...4…
But still, tthe high risk still pays off, even if Ruby’s own back took damage, as the Anarchy champion lays on the ground, unmoving. The crowd cheers for the challenger as she clutches her own back and rolls on the floor, her eyes shut with pain, but with a smile on her face.
Lawanda: 5...6…
Ruby’s eyes snap open as she hears the referee count. Visions of May 16th run through her head. The first time the two of them fought. The first time they traded holds and strikes. The first time they were both counted out while fighting on the outside! Ruby rolls to her feet and rushes over to Sarah, grabbing her by her singlet and trying to pull her to her feet.
Lawanda: 7…
Ruby grunts as she gets Lacklan to her feet and pushes her toward the apron, slamming her into the side and trying to force her under the bottom rope.
Lawanda: 8…
Ruby gets Sarah into the ring!
Lawanda: 9…
In a panic, Ruby slides under the ropes, making it inside right before Lawanda could end the match! The crowd cheers as a heavy-breathing Ruby sighs in relief and gets to her feet. Her eyes move toward the top rope and another high risk. Sarah is still groggy, though starting to move, and Ruby runs up the ropes, not even needing to grab the ropes. As soon as she gets to the top, she hops and spins in place, facing into the ring, and leaps forward with her arms wide, her entire body yet again a missle of destruction. But Sarah rolls out of the way and Ruby faceplants on the mat! Ruby’s face scrunches in pain as Sarah rolls several times, putting distance between them. Sarah rolls to a knee and her red eyes turn to daggers at Ruby, and Ruby shakes her head and gets to her own knees. Sarah screams and breaks into a run, and Ruby runs to meet her, unphased.
In the center of the ring, Sarah launches a flying kick, and Ruby rolls forward and makes the leg fly well over her head. Ruby then sets her knees and flips backward, sending a Pele kick towards Sarah, but the champion falls onto her back and avoids the impact. As Ruby lands on her knees, Sarah spins on her back, a move many have seen her do while positioning people to reverse a pinfall into a Pigeonwing, and she upkicks towards Ruby’s head. Ruby rolls to the side to avoid the heeled boot of the champion and then gets to her feet, running forward suddenly and flipping, looking for a senton. Sarah gets her knees up and Ruby’s back stretches out atop them, making her scream out in pain. Sarah then reaches up, takes, Ruby’s hand, and rips it back and up, forcing it into a hammerlock. Ruby screams in defiance as Sarah then hooks her other arm around Ruby’s head in a crossface, looking to connect her hands into the Pigeonwing. Ruby kicks out violently, struggling to keep Sarah’s hands from locking into place. She kicks several times as Sarah growls and pulls her hands together, and Ruby is able to make them hop and spin toward the ropes just enough for her feet to wrap around the ropes. Lawanda is there to administer a five-count, with Sarah refusing to let go of the hold until being warned about a disqualification.
After Sarah finally releases the hold, she gets to her feet and sends a kick into Ruby’s arm. Ruby screams and tries to pull her arm away after the kick, but is unable to stop Sarah from sending in another kick. And another. And ANOTHER. More and more blunt damage to Ruby’s arm to soften her up for a submission, and Ruby finally gives in and slides under the bottom rope and to the apron. Sarah smiles as she moves in on Ruby, but Lawanda is there to get between them and make her back off while Ruby is outside the ring. Ruby pulls herself up to a standing position as Sarah pushes Lawanda away, and then is able to reach out and punch Sarah right in the nose! The champion blinks in surprise, stunned by the strike, and Ruby grabs the ropes to springboard at her. But Sarah flings out a kick and catches Ruby in her injured shoulder and forces her down to one knee. Sarah backs up and then runs forward and drives a knee into Ruby, sending her crashing to the outside!
Lawanda pushes Sarah back into the center of the ring so that she can administer a 10-count, but Sarah repeatedly pushes past her. This gives Ruby ample time to rest on the outside and wring out her arm, forcing blood back into it. Face still covered in red mist, shoulder already showing a bruise, Ruby rolls herself under the ropes and into the ring before Lawanda can even begin to count her out. Unfortunately, her resolve to fight leads to Sarah picking her up, hammerlocking her arm again, scooping her up, and slamming her down with a slam on top of her arm. Sarah smiles mockingly at her foe and then backs way into the corner, setting her feet and waiting. Ruby slowly gets to one knee, holding her arm close to her body, and Sarah rushes forward. She steps onto Ruby’s knee, pushes herself up, and slams her knee into Ruby’s face with her Shining Wizard! Lawanda is there for the count:
ONE!
…---…
TWO!
…---…
THR-KICK OUT!
The crowd explodes as Ruby pushes off her shoulders and powers out of the lateral press! Sarah curses as Ruby kicks out of the move that has put away many XWF wrestlers, and she again takes Ruby by the hair and pulls her up, seeming to try to rip some of Ruby’s hair out by the roots. She screams at her that this is what she deserves and drives a knee into her stomach before whipping her into the ropes. But then Ruby leaps onto the second rope and flips backward with a moonsault, catching Sarah by surprise! She immediately gets to her feet after the impact, still holding her arm close to her body, and runs toward the ropes to create some steam. As Sarah gets to her feet, Ruby springs off the middle rope again and turns in mid-air, throwing out her feet and catching the champion with a massive dropkick, right on her chin!
Ruby is to her feet again, still cradling her arm, and runs into the closest corner and climbs before flipping backward with another moonsault, her body slamming down onto Sarah with yet another high impact and risky splash. This time, she hooks Sarah’s leg and holds her down for the pinfall and Lawanda hits the mat.
ONE!
…---…
TWO!
…---…
Ruby screams out as Sarah twists her arm underneath her! Before Lawanda’s hand can seven start to come down after two, Sarah has pushed Ruby away and twisted Ruby’s arm into a cross armbreaker, looking for the hyperextension. But again, Ruby is able to flail her legs and keep Sarah away from locking her grip, and she rotates to her knees. Sarah gives up the position and gets to her feet, but still holds on Ruby’s arm. Ruby lunges forward, but Sarah sidesteps and wrings Ruby’s arm as she goes by, nearly ripping it from its socket! Ruby cries out as Sarah twists the arm, controlling her by the wrist, before pulling it up and yanking it back down. Ruby’s face is contorted in pain as Sarah twists the arm again, this time turning her body and bringing the arm up and over her shoulder, and after a moment to position her, she brings the arm up and slams it down across her shoulder! Ruby’s arm bends backward, looking to all the audience as if the elbow was out of its socket, and falls to the mat.
Vinnie Lane: “Ew! Oh man I’m gonna be sick… I hate it when arms go all bendy like that!”
Sarah smiles as she picks Ruby up off the mat with two handfuls of hair, yet again. She whispers something to Ruby and then turns over over, so that her face is to the sky, and pulls her into a single underhook. She looks around left and right at the audience, soaking in the jeers of the crowd. She looks back down at Ruby and sets her feet to drop down into the Abyss. But as she does so, Ruby spins out of the hold and puts distance between them. Sarah grabs onto the hand of Ruby’s injured arm, holding onto her, and pulls her in for a shortarm clothesline, but Ruby ducks under. Ruby holds onto Sarah’s hand and then pulls HER back toward her with a shortarm-
-smoothly into a Ruby Cutter.
The crowd explodes as Ruby flattens her body and drives Sarah’s face into the mat! The two stay down, the champion too stunned to even clutch her face, the challenger trying to breathe. Lawanda is in position to keep an eye on both of them, and contemplates beginning a 10-count, but Ruby turns on her back, pulls her knees up, and kips up to a standing position! Her face is full of fire and she reaches down and grabs Sarah by the arm and pulls her toward the closest turnbuckle, her nearly ruined arm still close to her body. Ruby turns Sarah over onto her back and then climbs the ropes! She stands tall on the turnbuckle as the crowd comes to their feet, spuring her on. Ruby leaps, bringing her knees up to her body at the peak, and then jacknifes them down as drives her feet into Sarah’s stomach with the Ruby in the Rough! She falls backwards and then quickly covers Sarah, hooking the far leg with her arm. Lawanda is there for the count!
ONE!
…---…
Sarah’s body shifts under Ruby, likely looking to again counter with a submission...but Ruby captures Sarah’s other leg with her own leg and holds her tight!
TWO!
…---…
Sarah tries to move but is fully caught!
THREE!
Tig O’Bitties: Here is your winner...and NEEEEEEW Anarchy Heavyweight Champion….RUUUUUBYYYYYYYY!!!
The crowd explodes as Ruby gets to her feet. Lawanda hands the Anarchy title to Ruby and she bursts into tears as Sarah clutches her stomach and rolls away. Ruby hugs the championship after Lawanda raises her hand, and then she looks out into the crowd. Her eyes lock onot the Banana and Lime Section, the section full of fans demanding that she put the mask back on, and she runs out of the ring and leaps into their arms. She holds the title high up into the air in the middle of the cheering fans as Sarah sits in a corner of the ring in shocked and unbelieving silence.
Winner by Pinfall - Ruby
Vinnie Lane: “Holy crap! Ruby did it! I can’t believe it and I don’t think Sarah Lacklan can either! What a match! I think I know what to book for Lethal Lotto now, that’s for sure!”
The crowd keeps going nuts as Ruby celebrates, nearly in shock. Anarchy fades from the airwaves with the camera going back and forth from showing the beaming Ruby to the fuming Sarah Lacklan.
Special Thanks:
Sarah Lacklan
Noah Jackson
Bobbi London
John Black
Centurion
Lux
Theo Pryce
Your Mom
Just wanted to jump on here and say congrats to Ruby, who I believe is the single best overall character in the company. You are my favorite handler to rp against. Now to take my Precious back at the PPV!
The following 2 users Like Lacklan's post:2 users Like Lacklan's post "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (11-18-2019), Centurion (11-18-2019)
Steve Sayors found Amjetkun Socio in the back to get a comment while he's getting worked on by a bunch of trainers. Socio's got a big ass knot coming out of his head and it's almost as big as a cantaloupe. His eyes are in different directions with that Simpsons character look going on. He's not right.
Sayors: What are your thoughts on what just happened out there, Mr. Socio?
Socio: I don't fuckin' know what happened bro. I don't lose often so when I do I never really know why. I think Fuzz injected me with one of his needles. Look at all these needle marks all over me bro.
Sayors: Do you not remember how the match ended? Do you not remember Vinnie Lane's involvement?
Socio: Bruh. Do you think I give a fuck if I do or don't? Get outta here before I fuckin' meatball your ass all the way to the fuckin' market bro!
Not wanting to know what that hell that means, Steve exits.
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
The following 8 users Like "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane's post:
! Shouldn't she be in jail or....hahahahaha, ok, I'll stop. ![[Image: what-is-synthol.jpg]](http://caliberstrong.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/what-is-synthol.jpg)
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![[Image: 1495505255879.jpg]](http://www.essentialkids.com.au/content/dam/images/g/p/8/p/k/j/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gp8ph7.png/1495505255879.jpg)
![[Image: dR5ZguS.png]](https://i.imgur.com/dR5ZguS.png)
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