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Noah & Kuda's Big Day Out.
Author Message
Noah Jackson Offline
Push Noah!

XWF FanBase:
Hardly anyone to be honest

(booed by most fans; hurts people even when not supposed to; often angry and shitty)

Post: #1
05-14-2019 05:32 PM

The scene opens on a beautiful sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky, the breeze is gentle and cool. We go to a small fairground, families have picnics on the grass and screams of joy are heard in the distance. Children on the rollercoaster, people seeing the sights from the Ferris wheel and couples holding each other closely on the waltzers. The camera focuses on a couple with their toddler eating ice cream on the grass, they smile and watch as their son messily shoves the cone to his mouth.


A dark shadow covers the family.

[Image: mrEhJ0A.jpg]

"Get that fucking goblin out the road, cunts."

The family look up in horror to Noah pointing at their child and Kuda's smile fading as he looks down to the child.

"You heard the man."

The family terrified quickly grab their now crying child and move out the way of the giant with a papoose. Kuda stomps down the grass as Noah pridefully sits on his hulking shoulder and make their way to the fair. They get to the ticket booth and the teenager raises an eyebrow as they approach.

TEEN: "Uh, tickets for two adults?"

"Nah cunt, I'm four. Love Fortnite and being a drain on my dad's finances."

Noah gives a friendly pat to Kuda's chest as the prehistoric hulk gives a nod. The attendant darts her eyes between the two.

TEEN: "Fifteen dollars."

Noah tuts looking away as Kuda digs into his Gucci sweatpants and tosses a few nice looking seashells at the bewildered teen. She doesn't do anything except look at the shells in front of her before she can say and do anything a loud creaking is heard as Kuda breaks the turnstile by forcing it to move to let them through. The teen pokes her head out of the booth watching the two make their way to the amusement like Kaiju heading towards Tokyo. They get to a 'test your strength' high striker and Noah hops off Kuda's shoulder, adjusting his skinny jeans.

"Your balls ever stick to your legs? Shit's the fucking worse."

Kuda looks down at his sweatpants and back up to Noah.

"Sweatpants are the sign of a man who has given up, cunt. Shouldn't leave the house in those."

Kuda gives a look at the very obvious Gucci logo printed along the legs. Noah places his hands on his hips.

"Yeah fair."

Noah picks up the hammer and gives it a swing, the bell raising only hitting halfway. The lights flash and the words light up.


Kuda laughs as Noah scowls.

"Shit's rigged, cunt."

Kuda still laughing grabs the hammer and throws it down. The bell quickly reaches the top with a loud clang.


Noah looks up with his mouth ajar.

"This machine is very ghetto."

"I like it."

A man standing silently looking at the two gives an impressed whistle and hands a large stuffed teddy bear to Noah who smiles in glee, Kuda smirks clapping Noah's shoulder. Their laughter is cut short as a beautiful woman in a tube top and short shorts walks past with a giggle, smiling at the two. The pair look back, almost drooling as she looks back with a smile eyeing up one of them top to bottom. Kuda smiles widely and takes a step forward, Noah double takes and puts a hand on Kuda's chest.

"Woah cunt, before you club her over the head and take her back to your cave, I'll save you the embarrassment of her waking up and telling you she was looking at me."


Kuda points at Noah with a burst of raucous laughter.

"You're ugly twig of a man, she wants a real man."

Noah gasps.

"I am very handsome, cunt! You're the ugly cunt, look like a mammoth's asshole."

"And you look like you come from a mammoth's asshole."

Noah grows in anger and throws down his pink teddy and puts a finger in Kuda's chest.

"That's it! Friendship over!"

Noah storms off as Kuda picks up the teddy bear with one arm and hurls it Noah's back, but is dodged and Noah gives him the finger.

"Fine! Kuda only hanging out with you out of pity anyway!"

Kuda stomps in the other direction and the scene fades.

We go to a hotel room, the door swings open letting in some light as we hear mumbling and footsteps moving towards the camera. Noah comes into view and sits on the chair in front in a huff.

"Kuda you fucking cunt! You're a piece of shit and I can't believe I gave you my sweet and precious time, I should have known from the start that a shit cunt like you doesn't deserve to hang around with a sick cunt like me! You couldn't even beat Lacklan! Shit, you couldn't beat that other jobber, I forget his name. Meanwhile, I'm one of the hottest talents to ever grace this shithole! I got you here to the main event, I'm the sick cunt flirting with the title scene while you're the bitch juggling the undercard in a dark match. You should thank me that I got you here, that I gave you a taste of the main event! Because after Thursday, you're never going to see it again!"

"Just like how you'll never see that bird again because I'll be the one taking her home while you cry wanking off to National Geographic!"

"I'm top cunt, while you're just the simple basic cunt at the bottom of the ladder holding it steady for people like me!"

"The fact of the matter is, you're the second best simple-minded speak in short words cunt here, just a budget EDWARD with less of a draw! Make sure you relay to your manager this time to hype up the match instead of just letting the cunt rattle off every shitty insult they find in r/roastme."

"Fucking generic cuck. Fuck yourself."

Noah pulls out his phone with a low angry growl and updates his Facebook.

[Image: ptpecBb.jpg]

[Image: MU7Haoq.png]
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[-] The following 5 users Like Noah Jackson's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (05-15-2019), Darius Xavier (05-14-2019), John Whyte (05-14-2019), Kuda (05-15-2019), Notorious Ned Kaye (05-14-2019)
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