"Sometimes the person you'd take a bullet for ends up being the one behind the gun."

So here's the thing.


The black scene quickly transforms into a full frontal view of Drew Archyle leaning up against a cinder block wall that is covered in various graffiti tags. In his right hand a silver zippo lighter which he continually lights and closes, lights and closes as if it's pure muscle memory that is doing it and he is completely unaware of his own actions. The lighting in the room is minimal at best and the sound of dripping water splashing into a small pool of still water can be heard in the background.


This match at March Madness. It was SUPPOSED to be Jim Caedus and Drew Archyle. It was SUPPOSED to be a match where Jim Caedus would show everyone that he was deserving of being 1/3rd of the XWF tag team champions. It was SUPPOSED to be a night that saw a cancer like Chris Chaos eradicated from the DNA of the XWF and Apex walking out with all of the titles it walked in with. It might still be that night but not without some bumps along the way.

I don't want to beat a dead horse, so I won't. Jim turned his back on his brothers. For the second time. No one really ever truly understands what goes on in Jim's mind. Something that both Robert and I knew from the jump but being the guys that we are we promised to do our part to help guide Jim towards the light. And we did. We did everything in our power to help show Jim how important he was to this group, this brotherhood. But at the end of the day the old saying that "you can't teach and old dog new tricks" unfortunately came back to rear it's ugly head.

No not you Harley, you're beautiful. Drew says as he reached down with his left hand and pats the head of his pet rottweiler Harley who is quietly sitting on her dog bed made up of old newspapers.

So now Jim is out and in steps a man that needs no real introduction at all. A man who for over a decade has been at the forefront of wrestling. Be it in the XWF or various other promotions. A man who has literally seen it all and done it all. James Raven. For those of you who don't remember, James Raven's connection to Apex started over a year ago when ironically enough Jim Caedus decided to pay James a visit at his HILITE Fighting Club in Toronto. The two of them struck up a casual friendship that saw Raven hang with the Apex boys a few times. There was an immediate mutual respect there from both sides. We saw James Raven as something to aspire to in terms of legacy and name recognition and in us James saw three men who took their craft extremely seriously as he has for many years. So when Jim decided to go loco on us for the second time it was only natural that I gave James a ring to see if he would answer the call, and answer the call he did.

So that's how we got to where we are today. March Madness, the XWF's next Pay Per View. Drew Archyle and James Raven defending the XWF Tag Team Titles against former Universal Champion Eli James and Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus, more commonly referred to as N.A.Z.I.


Drew what the fuck are you doing? I got the COOL BUS all gassed up and we're ready to go.

Damn it Bob. I was trying to shot some promo work for this PPV match. I was trying to be all cryptic and shit in this dank hollowed out building where there is minimal lighting and the sound of dripping water and you just went and ruined it. How did you even find me anyway?

You said "Hey Bob I'm gonna go check out that empty building back there" and then you took Harley and the camera with you.

Oh...right...yeah I guess I did say that. Sorry Bob still feeling the effects of that chair shot to the dome piece that he who shall not be named gave me.

Caedus?

What the F Bob! I just said he who shall not be named and you went and named him. Should I have said it in Spanish would that have helped?

Do I speak Spanish?

I don't know Bob but you obviously don't speak English. By the way did you get all the stuff on the list I asked for?

Yes Drew I did. Why do you need 6 different flavors of Gatorade, Sour Patch Kids, Pork Rinds and Tropical Skittles?

What about the hot dog? I didn't hear you say Hot Dog. I need the hot dog. None of this will work without the Hot Dog.

Jesus Christ Drew, I hear ya. You want a Hot Dog. But you didn't see those things in there. Those things are a month old if they are a day.

Tráeme el hot dog por favor.

Since when do you speak Spanish?

Since always. Why do you have to question everything? Now do you mind if I finish this little number here so we can get back on the road?

Fine, you've got five minutes. I'll be waiting in the bus.

You can't rush art Bob.


Either because of frustration or boredom Robert Main exit's stage left allowing Drew to get back to whatever it was Drew was doing.


Ok so where was I? Oh right, NAZI's and Eli James. I'll be honest with you all. I'm pretty excited for this match. For a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that I get to team up with someone I never thought I'd get to wrestle in a ring with. If I had dreams this would be a dream come true. But I don't have dreams so this is really just a cool moment for me. Drew Archyle and James Raven, who'd have thunk it right? But that's not all. Eli James is a pretty big name in these parts. The guy has won several titles and when I dug through the archives to watch some of his older videos I always walked away from them impressed. A bit confused because he seemed to speak in riddles and circles but I suppose everything made sense in his head. And lord knows he's been able to get people to sip from his cup of bullshit-aid over the years. People seem to flock to hear what he has to say but never stop to actually listen to the man and question his motives. He preaches from his "pulpit" his special brand of truth but the real truth is that he's a con man, nothing more, nothing less. He uses people for his purposes and when he's done he casts them aside. Eli has gloated about being the man to end Shane yet I saw him roaming the halls of the XWF not just a few days ago. Very much alive and kicking. Back in the day Eli may very well have been one of the very best this business has ever seen but we aren't back in the day anymore. Either way, this match will give me the opportunity to add to my list of Universal Champions that I've beaten. For any of you star nerds keeping track at home, so far it's 4 Uni Champs bested in 10 contests. This will make 5 in 11. Pretty impressive if I do say so myself. Which I do. Right now. You all heard it right? Sure you did.

And then there is N.A.Z.I...Now I'll be completely honest and this will probably not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me but I'm not big fan of this guys agenda. I'm not saying we all need to hold hands, make smores, sing Kum Ba Yah and be best friends or anything like that, but genocide? That seems a bittttttttttttttttttttt extreme. But honestly it's probably not something worth being all the concerned about. I mean genocide is definitely an issue but N.A.Z.I. being the one to actually carry it out? Seems unlikely. After all this guy is spouting the same garbage for like 6 years now and he's no closer towards completing his mission than he was the first time I was employed in XWF. The Earth's population is going to be decimated by climate change long before this dude ever gets around to actually doing anything.

And another thing why is this guy not locked away in a damp dark basement with no sunlight by now? The guy goes on TV and tells everyone who is listening that he wants to eradicate everyone that isn't his version of the perfect specimen and somehow he gets to walk around free like Joe Blow from Mulberry Street. Is our law enforcement really that inept? You know what don't answer that, I already know the answer. But seriously, what exactly has this guy been doing for the last half decade? Hitler amassed an entire army in six years and started killing people by the millions. This N.A.Z.I. guy has done what? Let some old dude raise some killer bunnies for him and read Mein Kampf everynight? It's not like he's been preoccupied with the XWF, dude has only had a handful of matches in the last few years. The lazy good for nothing had an entire army gifted to him by some smug rich nerd named Theo Pryce and he did nothing with it. So then said rich smug nerd gives the army away to his brain dead half brother and now N.A.Z.I. has nothing except stories that start with "remember when". N.A.Z.I. likes to talk about how "these things take time" but an entire World War was fought and ended in less time than it's taken N.A.Z.I. to take one step forward in his quest for world domination.

Look all I'm saying is N.A.Z.I...he's all talk. All the time. He's like Donald Trump but with better hair and less spray tan. Anyway that's all I got for now. I feel like I've said too much as it is. Me and Bob we gotta get back on the road. Be sure to check out my Twitter @DrewArchyle for my daily recipe and cat of the day. I promise though, no cats were harmed during the making of my posts. I'm a lover not a fighter. Except when I get paid to fight. Oh and just an FYI I wanted my handle to be @catmandrew but some guy already has that and so far he has declined my overtures to buy the name from him. Apparently a lifetime subscription to Catster wasn't enticing enough so I guess I'll have to up the ante. If anyone has any suggestions on how I can obtain said handle feel free to slide into my DM's.


With that Archyle walks forward and turns the camera off. He lifts the entire camera and tripod fixture up with his right hand and places it gently over his shoulder. A high pitched whistle brings Harley to attention and the dog immediately starts walking along side Drew for the entire 5 minutes it takes to go from the creepy burned out building to the aptly named Cool Bus.

Once there Robert who was already seated in the driver's seat motions for Drew to hurry the F up.


Hurry the F up will ya? We got places to be,


See, he did say it.


Geez Robert. Who micturated in your coffee? Drew says as he climbs into the bus with Harley right behind. Drew places the camera down on the counter and then takes a seat right next to Main while Harley goes and crawls up onto his nice and fluffy dog bed.


Robert I have something to ask you, you mentioned the other day that you paid all my hospital bills while I was in a coma. I never really thanked you for that. So thank you.

You're welcome but that's not really a question. Robert responds as he fires up the engine of the vehicle, slips it into first gear and starts to slowly pull away from the Speedway Gas Station.

You're right that wasn't a question. My question was, how did you get access to my medical bills? That stuff is supposed to be confidential? And why did the hospital allow you and Kayla to make medical decisions while I was unable to do so? I've always wondered that.

Well here's the thing, Kayla and I...we kinda forged the paperwork that gave Kayla Power of Attorney over you. But you can't repeat that. Ever. Kayla will be disbarred if anyone finds out. It will ruin her.

Wait a second, you broke the law for lil ole me? Drew asks as he presses hands to his heart and bats his eyes like a love struck teenager.

I guess so yeah.

Well that's gonna be a problem Bob.

Why?

Because I can't associate with you anymore.

Haha very funny.

No seriously Bob one of the conditions of my parole is that I can't associate with known felons.

But no one knows I'm a felon. And since when are you on parole and why?

I'll know Bob. I'll know. You really want me to live with that guilt? Every day I am around you it will eat away at my soul. I'll be looking over my shoulder wondering if the fuzz are going to see my talking to you and then throw me back in jail.

You didn't answer my question, why are you on parole?

Look man that's not really relevant right now ok? You really need to speak with the Almighty and ask him to forgive your transgressions. Drew says as he starts digging through the plastic bag of convenience store goodies, ultimately pulling out the pack of Tropical Skittles which he rips open with his teeth.

How is it not relevant?

It just isn't. Why do you have to question everything? Like with the whole speaking Spanish thing. Why can't you just accept what I say and move on? It's time to move on Bob. Let's not talk about my past, let's talk about our future. How would you feel about being my brother in law?

What are you talking about? You don't have a sister.

No Bob I don't. But you do.

What are you saying Drew?

Me? Nothing. Nothing at all. Just asking. You know, all hypothetical and what not.

What did you do Drew?

Not what Bob. Who.

You didn't.

A gentlemen never kisses and tells Bob and I am nothing it not a gentlemen.

I swear to God Drew if you are fucking with me you don't have to worry about whether lunatic Jim will show up to knife you in an alley, I'll do it myself.

Geez such hostility. I guess I'll have to find a new best man when I get married. Drew and Kayle sitting in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-G!


Robert reaches out to grab Drew's throat as the bus swerves suddenly and the scene goes black.