I was definitely sore from my encounters the night before, so, getting up and moving today was no easy task. I crawled out of bed and like clockwork, Rita was on the horn trying to get ahold of me. It was 7 in the morning and I can remember looking at the clock at 3.

Ugh.

Who knew that living two different lives would be so demanding. And painful. And sleepless.

My agent went over the next week with me... Pretty exciting. Later on today, I'm to fly to LA where Stone Cold Steve Austin will be doing his Podcast. Pretty awesome. I wonder what brings him out of his Skull & Crossbone Ranch or whatever it's called. I'll have to ask him. I wouldn't have minded taking an ATV ride around the ranch once or twice with him, share a couple of Steve-weisers... Oh well, maybe we could set up arrangements for that after his podcast, assuming it goes well. Then it's back to Hollywood the next day for my first title defense and the Calypso-bration I have planned. I'm pretty stoked for that. Spoiler alert: I'm unveiling something new during the segment. It's going to be awesome so, ya know, don't miss it. Later in the week, I'm returning to the Kelly and Ryan show, not co-hosting this time though. I'm doing a quick thing where Ryan Seacrest gets put in an armbar and Kelly gets to hold my title belt. It should be fun. Last time was pretty fresh and I know if I had one more night with Kelly Rippa I would have had her in the sack, but Calypso ain't no home wrecker. That is not our way.

I landed in LA and smelled the dirty air for the first time in months. I used to be immune to it, but after a few breaths I'm hacking up a lung like a casual smoker in the morning. Man, this was different than getting off any planes before. A few people even recognized me. I give a small wave, I wink to some, give a thumbs-up, and even run into a high-fiver! At this rate, I'm going to be starring in movies with the Rock by Christmas! Maybe we could remake an Xmas classic like Die Hard or something. He could be John McClain and I could be Hans Gruber. Don't tell me that doesn't sound awesome.

I take an Uber to the small studio where Stone Cold was appearing and doing his thang. I exited the back and fought off some flashes from a few cameras on my way in. As I enter the studio, again, Rita is there in the lobby waiting for me.

"How do you do that?"

I told you, champ, where you go, I go."

What? Does she have a tracking device on me or what? It's not just she goes where I go, she is where I is! Weird. I guess Stone Cold was in the back getting ready to go on the air, I had arrived just in time, apparently. I had to the back and I step inside the booth. Stone Cold, as nice as ever, stands up to greet me.

"Calypso, how you doin', son? Welcome, have a seat."

"Great!!!"

I can't help but mark-out. He shakes my hand and motions towards the chair in front of the other microphone. I throw the headset on my head and sit back. Man, does this feel good or what?! I take the TV Title from my lap and place it softly on the desk. I just noticed he's wearing the "Calypso 3:16" signed tee that I sent him two years ago. Unreal.

"Alright it's real simple. I ask the question, you answer it. We discuss it, debate it, have fun with it. You got it?"

I nod vigeriously and can't wipe the smile from my face.

"We're here in LA for a very special Stone Cold Podcast today, I've got the NEW XWF Television Champion sitting right in front of me here... Let's all welcome, Calypso. How you doin', son?"

I clear my throat of any debris and take a hard swallow.

"Great Steve, great. How about yourself."

"Couldn't bitch if a tried. So, how's Hollywood?"

"Hollywood is great. I'm a big movie guy and have always wanted to see the place. Winning the title just made it that much easier to get there, I guess."

"I understand you're now residing there?"

"I am. I started out here in LA, moved back and forth from here to the Big Apple a few times, and now I've decided to stay close to where I'll be performing each week."

"Makes sense to me, hell yeah. How long you been in the XWF, Calypso?"

"Oh man, it feels like forever, Steve. I debuted in November of 2014. It's the night I coined my nickname, the Slayer of Monsters, as well as, the Butcher."

"Big night? Big debut?"

"Incredible night. INCREDIBLE debut. It definitely cleared a path for my future in the federation."

"Hell yeah. Big actions lead to big results."

"A good attitude and keep thinking positive along with diet and exercise, I feel I'm capable of just about anything."


"You're first title defense is coming up.  You got any thoughts on this Random guy or what?"

I stare past Stone Cold and take a deep breath.

"Not a whole lot more than what I've covered already, Steve-O.  I listened to Random whine and complain---...."

"Bitch and moan?"

"Yeah...  about never getting anywhere.  Always being in an opening match with scrubs...  Rarely getting opportunities."

"Sounds like a real piece of crap."

"Well, dude, he's not helping his case by any means.  When the guy DOES work, you can tell he's not giving 100%, ya know?  And the big cats in management pay attention to that stuff.  I live by this every single day of my life: You can only control your effort and attitude going into this biz, Steve.  You should know."

"Damn right.  I've been in this business for decades and I can tell ya, the guys walking around with the piss poor attitudes got piss poor results."

"Exactly!  The results are dictated from that algorithm! If you maintain a positive attitude and continue a forward effort, the results will follow.  I am living proof."

"That's a damn good philosophy to go by, son."

"Thanks. That means a lot."

"It sounds like you're pretty confident heading into Saturday, then."

"Oh hell yeah, Steve."

Stone Cold kinda glared at me a second then gave a sly smile.  I guess using one of his catchphrases is off limits...


"I feel like we still barely know ya, Calypso.  Why don't you explain a little more about what you have going on."

"There is really not a whole lot more, Stone Cold.  My boyhood dream has come true, I am the lead superstar on one of the most watches sports, or any, program across the world.  I am committed to my job, my duties, my work out regime, and my diet.  I am strict.  I am disciplined.  And I am ready to show the world all of what Calypso is capable of."

"Sounds like you are ready to open up a can of pure whoop ass come Saturday night."

"Oh I am, Steve.  I am."

"Well, we are about outta time here.  I--"

"Sorry to interrupt, Stone Cold, but I would like to add one more thing."

He didn't seem to impressed getting cut off, but this was important.  He didn't say anything, but allowed me to continue.

"I just wanted to pass around a little awareness here on the air regarding something going on in Hollywood."

Stone Colds crystal blue eyes soften.

"Awareness?? Oh, well, hell yeah.  What do you got?  About the drugs?  The kids?  What?"

The look on my face could not get an ounce more serious.  I could feel it.

"All the above, dude.  I am here to spread awareness about..."

I pull out from a bag I brought with me a couple of tee shirts, hats, and a small box of pins.

"The Blue Tango."

"What?"

"The Blue Tango."

"WHAT?!"

"The Blue Tango."

I open up the shirt.  It is a picture of a dark figure looking out over Hollywood with the words, 'Who is the Blue Tango', written across it.

"What the hell is that?"

"No one really knows, Steve.  Is he a vigilante? Is he a thief? A crook?? Is he stepping over his boundaries as a normal, everyday citizen? Which brings us all to the question...."

I hold up one of the hats and read across it.

[color=#800080"Who IS the Blue Tango?!"[/color]

Stone Cold and I sit in silence for a moment.  I get ready to continue when Stone Cold stops me.

"Let me tell ya sumthin'...  I don't really give a damn what kind of fairy is running aroud Hollywood in his pajamas, lurking around in the shadows...."

"They're not pajamas...."

"What I DO give a damn about is you coming onto my show and flashing all this crap merchandise around.  What the hell, man? Show some respect. I'm wearing your purple God damn shirt.  I let you use 3:16 without whooping your ass.  Who the hell do you think you are?"

Is he kidding? I hope he's kidding.  He's not kidding.

"I just..."

"Nya! Nya! Nya!  I just...  I just...  Put the shit away before I come over there and shove each and every one of those pins up your ass and send you packing."

"Sorry, Stone Cold."

Completely humbled I stuff the stuff back into the bag.

"Now, before we go, I'd like to bring up some awareness myself."

"Okay."

"You're, uh, big move.  What the hell is it called?"

"The Calypsonator."

"Describe it to me."

Oh crap.

"Well, it is real simple....  I mean, it's kinda hard."

"I ain't got all day, son."

"Well, I usually catch my opponent off guard..."

"Uh, huh."

"Like with a kick or something..."

"Or something."

"I'll catch them bent over, grab their head, and snap it down on my shoulder when I sit straight down to the mat."

"You think it's effective?"

"Oh, hell yeah."

Oops.

"That sounds an awful lot like a Stone Cold Stunner."

"They're similar."

"Yeah? Maybe I could give you a few pointers?"

Really??  OMG.  OMG.  OMG.

"Um...  That'd be great Stone Cold!"

"Stand your ass up. If you'd like to see Stone Cold Steve Austin show this piece of trash how to properly knock a sumbitch out with a Stone Cold Stunner.... Gimme a hell yeah!"

"Hell yeah!"

Oops again.

I stand up with Stone Cold and we move to a slightly more open area.

"Now, one thing I noticed you're missing is probably one of the most important parts."

"Okay."

"You gotta show that sumbitch how you really feel.  So, make two little birdies with your hands."

Stone Cold flips me the double bird.  I bring up two middle fingers, but as I do I am kicked in the gut and STUNNED where I stand! My neck snaps back and I fly backwards landing on my back on the floor.  It was so painful it was almoat euphoric.  I couldn't feel my legs for a moment, but the feeling came back.  There was a ringing in my ears for a second and as it went away I could smell beer breath, feel speckles spit on my face, and hear Stone Cold screaming at me.

"You piece of trash! If you're going to steal Stone Cold's moves, you better at least do them right and not look like a God damn amateur when you do them! And that's the bottom line..... cuz Stone Cold said so!"

Thanks for the lesson, Steve... Man... I hope I'm not concussed.... I have a title to defend tomorrow.... I hear glass shatter and Stone Cold's music play as I slowly gwt my shit together. Stone Cold grabs a Steve-weiser from his mini fridge and underhand throws it to me, hitting me in the head. He grags one himself, opens it, and holds it out. I grab mine from the floor, tap the lid, and still get sprayed. I hold mine out and Stone Cold slams his Steve-weiser against it... causing more spillage.

"Cheers bitch!"

I yell and Stone Cold mid chug, with beer down his mouth and chin, gives me a Stone Cold stare.

"I, uh, I mean... Not you."