Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016
In the back seat of a limo
Chappaqua, New York, USA

“Hey driver…”

Paul reaches up and with his first two knuckles, knocks on the thickly tinted black window. The window rolls down, but the driver doesn’t speak, he just merely adjusts his mirror and looks at Paul as if to acknowledge him,

“Yeah, the compound is the big one up here on the left.”

“You got it…”

Paul sits back into his seat, exhaling pleasantly has he adjusts his suit jacket and looks over to the reigning, defending, indescribably amazing, XWF Queen of Harts, the Hart Champion, Dolly fuckin’ Waters. She smiles over at Paul from behind her dark shades, and then begins tapping on the window fixture on the door next to her with her fingernails. Dolly is wearing a Metallica ‘Master of Puppets’ t-shirt tucked into a pair of purposely torn black jeans, a pair of ragged looking Chuck Taylors fitting snuggly on her feet.

Dolly turns from Paul whose texting, or sexting, or snap chatting, or some shit on his phone, and gazes out of her window, lightly laying her head against the glass; it’s a glorious day for November, especially in upstate New York. There’s a wee hint of warmth on the glass coming from the unseasonably generous sun that’s beating down onto the orange tainted streets, the natural ambiance is almost therapeutic for our young champion of champions.

Dolly closes her eyes.

What a ride all of this has been… not necessarily a turbulent, or a coasterish type of ride; Dolly was too naturally gifted to suffer the slings and arrows that most average XWF Superstars faced. Her ride was more like an extremely long, extremely wild, extremely powerful initial ascent during the takeoff of an F-22A Raptor Fighter Jet that continues to rise through the clouds like an untouchable chariot of godly proportions.

With her eyes still closed, Dolly grabs onto her Hart Title that’s sitting next to her and pulls it over onto her lap, clutching it as a mother would clutch her first, most precious child. There’s a sudden stabbing, or better yet, plunging feeling from within her spirit… she feels as if she’s spiraling down into something emotionally unraveling. Her heart hurts. She’s all of sudden overcome with fear, and pity, and self-doubt…

She thinks to herself: “Why in the hell am I here? What in the hell am I doing this for? I just want to go home."

There’s only one problem… she hasn’t a home. The place that Dolly is from doesn’t exist anymore…

“The person I was doesn’t exist anymore.”

There’s some old saying about how being lost helps one find themselves, but the issue with Dolly is that she hasn’t really begun to look, because on the surface she was anything but lost. She had arrived to the gardens of the gilded and the nectar was sweet and savory. Her perception of the world had been built on backs of astute, renowned philosophers and her understanding of life well eclipsed that of your standard teenager. She was a child of the Great Recession who knew all too well of the ugly side life… she’d grown cold, and had tricked herself into believing that she liked feeling that way. It was only during times where she would begin to actually feel again that she found just the contrary.

But reality has its way of rearing its ugly fucking head. Maybe this person she longed for never existed to begin with…

“Love the fucking shirt by the way, champ. All too perfect for who we’re going to see.”

Dolly responds with a halfhearted chuckle, her mind was still wondering most uncomfortably.

The limo pulls up in front of a massive mansion surrounded by tall, well-manicured hedge bushes that break off at the front of the perimeter and are replaced by an enormous black gate and security shack. A pigly looking security guard wobbles from the shack and approaches the driver’s window,

“Who we got ear’?”

He asks the driver,

“Dolly Waters and Paul Heyman.”

He responds,

“Aight’ let em’ chrue!”

Another guard presses a button that causes the gates to swing open. As the limo pulls through the gate and begins to approach the mansion, Dolly is still staring blankly from her window and clutching her Hart Title as her knee begins to do a nervous bounce,

“Are you okay, Dolly?”

Paul asks,

“I’m alright; I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Yeah I hear ya’, well let’s just get this rumble in hell over with, make some money and get the fuck out of there.”

Dolly smiles and nods at her manager. The two exit the limo and climb the long staircase up to the mansion, but before they can reach the top of the steps, they hear a familiar voice,

“Why in the fuck is flag not up on the lawn, you worthless sheep fucking motherfucker?!?”

*hack, cough, spat, heave*

“I wake up every morning and the goddamn coffee isn’t fucking brewed and that goddamn flag isn’t up on the mother fucking law… you dumb sorry ass piece of shit, I advocate for you inept fucking spics to come over here and you can’t take care of two simple fucking things?!?”

*haaaaack*

“Mother fuckers are going to be the death of me…”

Paul and Dolly look over to see Hillary Clinton, yes thee Hillary Clinton; she’s wearing a red pantsuit and holding an empty coffee pot, screaming at a Hispanic looking caretaker. Dolly interrupts by clearing her throat,

“OH HEY DOLLY!”

Hillary immediately loses focus of the caretaker and drops the coffee pot causing it to shatter all over the sidewalk as she quickly approaches Dolly and Paul.

“LOOK AT YOU!”

Hillary gives Dolly a huge hug, and then starts giving her some nagging pinches to her cheeks. She’s acting a little loopy, that Kratom really does the trick.

“You’ve gotten so big, Dolly! Really starting to fill out huh?”

Dolly chuckles and turns red in the cheeks as Hillary, still clinging onto her shoulders, begins awkwardly nodding up and down with her mouth hanging open and eyes popping out of her skull,

“You know, Randy…”

She says to Paul,

“…I’ve known Dolly ever since she was a little toddler, isn’t that right dear?”

"…....."

“Dolly?”

“Huh? Oh, oh yeah, yeah. That’s right, how was it you met my family again?”

“Well it was your father…”

Hillary’s body begins to gyrate, as she rolls her head back,

“Mhmmm, what a man he was! Young studly guy, dumber than a box of rocks, but he had an ass on him that could move mountains. Anyway, he was working on our stage setup during a rally in Kentucky back in 2008. I took that boy places he’d never been before, and he I, I’m just glad he was too intoxicated to remember, or else I’d have to have him… ya’ know…”

Hillary does a motion with her finger across her throat,

"Ahhh..."

Paul nods,

“I’m really glad that I don’t quite remember that either. So how’s the election going? Trump’s not going to win is he?”

Hillary smirks,

“How about you ask him for yourself?”

The two follow in behind the Democratic nominee for President into her mansion, where they see sitting on a swanky looking couch, the Republican nominee for President, Donald Trump. Yes thee Donald Trump.

“Hello Dolly, Paul… Paul it’s been a long time hasn’t it?”

“Nowhere near long enough, Donald.”

“To answer your question that I couldn’t have possibly heard you ask because you were outside while I was inside, yes Dolly, the poll numbas’ look great. They’re amazing, they’re so huge, and we have the best, smartest people working on those figures. There’s no way we can lose!”

“So yer’ really in the bag for Hillary? Geewiz… who could’ve EVER seen that coming?”

“Of course I’m in the bag for Hillary! I love Hillary. And I love the gays, and transgenders, and women, and Mexicans and Africans…”

Donald slaps the ass of a gay, transgender, female Mexican African American maid as it walks by,

“It’s amazing, I buy a boat load of shares with the gun manufactures, then I tell everyone Hillary is going to take their guns, and bingo! Gun sales go through the roof, and I get richer… it’s amazing how stupid Republicans are… Did you see that the conservatives gave me some Christianity reward? I’M A GAZILLIONARE! Not a Christian, I don’t read books, let alone the Bible, I can’t read. And when all of this is over I’m going to be the new host of the Price is Right, it’ll be amazing, it’ll be huge, it’ll be so amazingly huge!”


“Oh…cool story. So Hillary, about that portal to hell?”

“Ah yes! My house has one of the dozens of known portals to hell; another is underneath Caitlyn Jenner’s toilet. Just take that elevator over there down to the six hundred and sixty sixth floor and you’re there!”

“Oh great! Thanks a bunch Hillz, yer’ so hip!”

“Psshh, WUZZZZ UP!?! Hahaha, right, right?!?”

“Yeah… and thanks for not having Bernie killed by the way, I really liked that guy.”

“Bahh, no need to kill him, I was able to rig that election too… you millennials are so silly!”

Dolly and Paul make their way over to the hellevator and step inside,

“Oh! By the way, good luck down there! Go ahead and tell Satan to warm up the buses for me, it’s almost election night.”

The hellevator doors close as Dolly and Paul make their slow descent into the bowels of the underworld.

To be continued...

3x XTreme Champion
2x Tag Team Champion (w/ Vita Valenteen, w/ Charlie Nickles)
2x Hart Champion
2x Television Champion

3x Star Of The Month
August ‘21, May ‘17, October ‘16

3x RP Of The Month
What light through sonder... my perception breaks.
Tranquility: For Old Times Sake
Manifest Victory

my loves:
[spoiler]