Jakob Davis - vs - Mike Randez Xtreme Rulez

The ref calls for the bell, and Davis charges at Randes, who is completely unaware that he has a match at this moment. He's standing around looking on Tinder for someone to love him, when Jakob, who has a stupid spelling of his name, comes up and smacks this nigga in the face with a massive fucking left hook. The phone goes flying, and Mike is holding his jaw. He tries to compose himself again, but not before Davis is up in the air to introduce his knee to Randez' face with a fucking powerful as hell knee to chin kiss. Oh my god, this is almost too brutal for human consumption. Mike is down on the ground, holding his jaw, with Tim Davis at ringside calling him a bitch.

Jakob pops out in the crowd and begins to high five these niggas in attendance with such force that he actually breaks one fan's hand. Who cares? This is probably the best moment of that little virgin's life. Jakob quickly shoves the fan to the ground and steals his chair, and run into the ring with it. He begins to beat Randez stupid with it. Well, stupider than you'd have to be to be on Tinder in the middle of a wrestling match. When Randez stops moving, he goes for the pin.

1

2

3

Winner: Jakob Davis

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Kid Kool - vs - “Redneck” Adam Young Bullrope Match

The match begins and Kid Kool easily slams Adam Young to the mat! He plants him with a spinebuster and then tags the first turnbuckle.

Young tries to get to his feet but Kid Kool hits him with a shining wizard before easily dragging Young to the next turnbuckle and tagging it.

Young clambers to his feet but is hit by a devastating superkick from Kid Kool, who tags the third turnbuckle.

He waltzes to the final turnbuckle and this one’s over just like that.

Winner: Kid Kool

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D-Preperation H - vs - Crimson Dong - vs - Frodo Smackins 2 on 1 on 1 Handicap Triple Threat Casino Royale Match. Losers must sell hot dogs and popcorn at the next SSN. Whomever scores the fall or submission will get a shot at a High Stakes Chip of their choosing at the next SSN. Ante: $15000 Xbux. If you pay the ante, you get to choose an additional stipulation in your first RP. (Payments must be made to The Judge).

Frodo squares up against DPH and Dong. DPH act as though they want to target Frodo, but they pull a 180 and attack Dong instead. Those dastardly fucks! DPH whip Dong into the corner and Mike shoots Jack into Dong for a corner splash. They then take Dong and give him an HD (Dudley Death drop) in the center of the ring! Hunt attacks Frodo while Hoff goes for the pin on Dong. Frodo puts down Hunt with a running punch to the nutsack while on the way to break up the pin. He pulls Hoff away from Dong and drops him with a DDT. Frodo covers Hoff but gets pulled off immediately by Hunt. Hunt throws punches into Frodo's face. Frodo pushes Hunt away but he gets tackled right away by Hunt's buddy Hoff. Hoff is now going to town with mounted punches on Frodo.

Hoff throws Frodo into the corner and they go for their double team corner splash, but Frodo jumps out of the way causing Hoff to taste the turnbuckle.

Frodo catches Hoff stumbling back with a vicious smack to the face followed by a DDT. Frodo is about to make the pin but Hunt interrupts before the referee even counts to one. Hunt is throwing wild punches into the back of Frodo. Hunt throws Frodo into the ropes and takes him over with a hip toss. Hunt hops to the top rope and dives off for a knee drop but Frodo rolls out of harm's way. Hunt busts his knee on the ring mat and limps up to his stance. Frodo hits him with an uppercut. Frodo is about to go for another when Hoff walks over and begins to choke him from behind. Frodo kicks his feet up on Hunt who's still standing in front of him and it gives him enough leverage to break free. Hoff walks into a spear from Frodo who kicks him out of the ring immediately after.

Hunt goes for a clothesline, Frodo ducks, runs off the ropes, and pops him coming back with the lolnope Superman punch! Frodo covers Hunt.

1

2

3!

Winner: Frodo Smackins

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Shade - vs - LeStrange Plate Glass Cage Match Best of three match: Round 1

LeStrange's palms are sweating nervously as Shade enters the plate glass cage. Before the bell even rings, he bolts towards Shade with a massive right punch! But no! Shade catches it in his hand, and he starts SQUEEZING on the wrist. As a result, this forces LeStrange to cry out in pain. Suddenly, a loud crack can be heard throughout the masses. LeStrange's cries instantly multiply as the fans wince and the bell finally rings.

Shade then goes on the offensive, taking LeStrange's head and driving it through the plate glass. The glass shards go into the fans in the front row, causing them to cry in pain as well as LeStrange. Blood can then be seen forming on LeStrange's skull. Shade then grabs his brother's head once more and starts talking some smack to him. Suddenly--

THE CROOKED GRIN (Modified White Noise)! Shade steals his brother's finishing move from outta nowhere! LeStrange is out cold as Shade puts a boot on LeStrange's chest! The ref slides in for the pin...

1!

2!

3!

Winner: Shade

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MAIN EVENT Ann-Thraxx McVeigh - vs - Kristen Silver Special Guest Referee: Ophelia McVeigh Xtreme Rules Match

This match is underway and Ann heads straight for Silver who ducks a clothesline and then hits Thraxx with a deep arm drag…. And another!

Silver then runs off the ropes leaps up in the air feet first, grabbing Thraxx by the head in the process with her feet before spinning and flinging her across the ring with a beautifully executed move.

Silver runs at Thraxx but she dodges it. Ann then lifts Silver up and plants her with a high impact sit-out spinebuster!!

Ophelia then hands Thraxx a steel chair! Surely that’s not legitimate refereeing!?

Thraxx cracks Silver over the head with it before running off the ropes and planting her with a huge splash onto the chair.

Thaxx goes for the cover.

1…2…3!!

Winner: Ann-Thraxx McVeigh

That’s surely a fast count by the referee! Disgusting!!

Ophelia celebrates with his girlfriend, Ann-Thraxx McVeigh, after his first victory- which was in the Main Event! The two share a brief kiss, much the the viewer's chagrin. However, before they leave...



That's Jakob Davis' music! He already had his match earlier in the night against Mike Randez! What's he doing here?

Sure enough, Jakob comes out from behind the curtains, as he's flanking his father/manager, Tim Davis, who has a microphone at the ready. The fans give a mixed reaction to the new arrival as both father and son step through the ropes. As soon as he enters the ring, Tim starts speaking on the mic.

"You should be more grateful to see your future champion..." The fans boo at this boasting while Jakob face-palms. Tim just shrugs off the booing fans while completely ignoring his son's disdain. "...future Intercontinental Champion, to be precise." With this, Ophelia grabs his title from the timekeeper who leans in from outside the ring, with Ophelia hoisting the title on his shoulders proudly. He mouths, 'Really?', while Tim continues.

"You see how my son absolutely demolished Mike Randez in the opener? That's what he's gonna do to you, tranny. You might as well give up while you still can."

Ophelia chuckles, before suddenly getting in Tim's face. Tim doesn't budge an inch in response while Jakob starts trying to get Tim to back off before it's too late. "Listen here, old man," McVeigh says. "You see how my girlfriend literally broke Kristen Silver into two like a toothpick? That's what I'm gonna do to your pussy of a boy." Jakob suddenly stops right in his tracks and starts getting in Ophelia's face and mouthing off. It looks like the conflict is going to boil over into a four-way fistfight between Jakob, Tim, Thraxx and Ophelia, however before that can happen...



That's Makaveli's music! He hasn't been seen since actually dropping the title to Ophelia! Makaveli marches down to the ring with purpose while the fans are cheering him, a cocky half-smile forming on his lips. Makaveli rolls into the ring and has one of the ringside crew toss him a microphone.

"Hah, this is cute. New guy thinks he's worth shit. He thinks he's gonna become a champion within his second match." Makaveli laughs as Jakob looks annoyed at getting dragged into something he didn't want any part of by his father again. "Listen here, new guy. You aren't worth shit. You'll probably never be shit either, and I can make sure of that."

"Listen here, you fucking--" Tim then gets cut off by Makaveli.

"No, you listen here, you fuckin' cracker." Tim looks insulted as Thraxx and Ophelia laugh. "I'mma be gunnin' for my title, and that's fact. No niggas are gonna be holdin' me down any more, and I'm claiming that right there." Mak points to the IC title as Ophelia shines it up and adjusts it on his shoulder.


"That's quite enough." Mak looks pissed that his rap verse got interrupted as Kristen Silver enters the ring.

"I may have underestimated Thraxx tonight--" Silver gets cut off by Thraxx.

"Yeah, right, that's a laugh." Thraxx chuckles.

Silver looks annoyed before speaking again. "Nobody was speaking to you, so shut the fuck up, bitch." Thraxx looks ready to jump on Silver, however Ophelia holds her back, trying to calm her down. "Excluding this week, I've been on a roll. I've got two- count 'em- two High Stakes Chips. I defeated the unstoppable Travis McCoy, and I took down Mak's bitch. If anyone should be getting an Intercontinental title shot, it should be me."

Mak is about to say something, however Thraxx beats him to the punch. "Aw, sorry to disappoint, sweetie, but I'm afraid I got some bad news for you. If this match was anything to hint about how you'd stack up to dear Ophie, you're gonna be in for a world of hurt."

Silver chuckles. "Try me then. IF it's going to be such a lopsided match IF I can't beat you, then I'd love to right that wrong." The two girls then go face-to-face, with tension so thick you can cut it with a knife.

"Cat fight! Cat fight!" Tim cries out, which prompts Makaveli to punch him! And THEY'RE OFF! Each of the people inside the ring start wailing on one another! Mak is beating down Tim, who was taken by surprise after Mak's cheap shot! Silver and McVeigh are in the middle of the ring, neither one having a true advantage against each other! And McVeigh is working over Jakob in the corner! Order seems lost as all of a sudden...



Archie Lawson! The new GM of Savage! He's marching out to the stage, looking rightfully cross that Savage has degraded into anarchy and chaos!

"Alright, listen up!"

With those words spoken, all six combatants in the ring immediately stop fighting and look up at the stage to see Archie.

"It has come to my attention that there is suddenly an increase in the competition for the Intercontinental title. However...

"It isn't the ONLY title in the XWF! Peter Gilmour is currently struggling to get the Hart Championship away from Chris Macbeth! The Union are looking to right the wrong they received by taking back their tag titles from the Resistance! And tell me, who wouldn't want to take the Xtreme Championship away from Unknown Soldier and prevent him from getting a second briefcase? So, as a result...

"Why not address all these needs that needs to be solved in one swift match?" Each of the competitors in the ring's eyes rise to the size of dinner plates as realization of what Archie is implying. "That's right, chaps! In a special Savage in two weeks from now, we will be holding an ARCHIE LAWSON RUMBLE! And the winner of said Rumble will get a title shot at any non-Universal Championship!"

With that said, Archie exits the stage. The tension between the six people inside the ring has cooled somewhat, but a question still remains: Who is going to win the Archie Lawson Rumble in two weeks time?

After the main event scuffle, Ophelia and Ann head backstage, with the IC title sitting proudly above Ophelia's shoulder. Suddenly, Ann turns around and pins 'Ophie' to the wall.... the scowl on her face shows that she doesn't look to be in the mood for a kiss, either.

Ann: What in the FUCK was that?

Ophelia: You mean the argument with Makaveli and the rest? o__O

Ann: No, goddamit, you counting the fall like I NEEDED you to do so just so I could pick up a win! I can handle you giving me a chair to swing, it was an Xtreme Rules match, that's fine... but you EMBARASSED me when you pulled that fast count. I don't need you to make me look like some sort of damsel in distress. Fucking hell...

Ann backs off a bit, and Ophelia rubs at the back of his neck.

Ophelia: Ya know, you could have just TOLD me that, you didn't have to go off on me.

Ann: Well, just because you need someone like Archie to pick up a belt for you, that doesn't mean I need 'an ace in the hole', if you catch my drift. From now on, stay OUT of my matches, get me? I'll see you at the apartment, catch a taxi, I'm taking the car.

Before Ophelia can even respond Ann's off and on her way....

Ophelia: .....dammit.

|fade|

Another pair of Reevolution members are chilling at catering after the show-- Kid Kool and his girlfriend, Christina Nash.

KK: Cowabunga, babe, I did it! I kicked that redneck's ass just like I said I would, and I didn't even break one drop of sweat. I need some REAL competition, ya feel me?

CN: I know hun, this company's full of losers, like my sister.

KK: I thought she was your cousin?

CN: Who the hell knows. Back stories have never been one of my strong suits.

KK: I see... Anyfukk, I'm on my way to being a champ, just like Ophelia. I could definitely go for that Hart Title... Bret and Owen were always two of my favorites. True inspirations.

CN: How about "The Mouth of the South"?

KK: ..... Jimmy Hart?

CN: Yeah!! He was HAWT!!

KK: .............you sure you didn't eat some bad tuna?

CN: OOOOooooo, you remember Kenan and Kel?

KK: Sure.

CN: Watch this vid on my phone;



KK: ... Yup.


#OhTheHumanity

Hoff and Hunt are in their lockeroom, playing Madden 2K16 on the X-Station Wii60.

Hoff: Welp. We lost again.

Hunt: Yup.

Hoff: Frodo kicked our collective asses.

Hunt: Yup.

Hoff: But'cha know what?

Hunt: What?

Hoff: AT LEAST WE GOT MADDEN!!! XD

Hunt: Hell yeah!

*they high-five*

|fade|