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Current XWF board time: 10-27-2021, 10:09 PM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                
X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » XWF Live! » 24/7 X-treme Championship
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Help me?
Author Message
Hotdog Offline
Now in new North Korean War Pig flavour!



XWF FanBase:
Green as Grass

(sloppy in the ring; botches moves regularly; shows up when fans are hoping for anyone else)


Post: #1
10-12-2021 09:04 PM

Hotdog, in his(???) super sexy dress stumbles from one hallway to another.

"Oink?! Oink, oink oink oink oink?!"

Spoiler :
"Jim?! Jim, are you in here?!"

Sure enough, he is! Hotdog rounds a corner to find Jim Caedus playing tic tac toe against Bam Miller's lifeless corpse, with Jim moving Bam's arms for him. This might be the future. Or not. I don't know. Residual interdimensional energy gave Hotdog magic shapeshifting powers or something, so maybe time travel is an option too? Just shut the fuck up and roll with it.

"Oink! Ooink Oink Oink ooink oink! Oink oink oink oink."

Spoiler :
"Jim! Thank God I found you! I need your help."

Caedus studies Hotdog's new body, and asks the question we all want to know.

"Is there a space in yah ass fah someone tah put their hand?"

Is that how he talks? Who fucking knows.

"Oink? Oink oin'k oink! Ooiin'k oink oink oink oink! Oink oink oink oink! Oink oink Oink, ooin'k ooiinnk oink oink ooink ooiinnk oink ooink oink oink, oink Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink oink ooink. O'ink oink oink oink Ooink oink oink oink oink ooiinnk, oink oink ooiinnk ooink ooiinn'k oink oink oink oink oink oink oink ooiinnkk oink oink. Oink oink oink ooink oink Oink oink oink oink oink oink ooiinnk' oink oink Oink, oink Oink ooiinnk oi'nk ooiinnkk oink oink oink oink oink oink ooink oink ooiinnk. Oink O'ink oink oink oink. Oink oink oink oink ooiinnk ooiinnk ooiink ooink, oink oink oink oink ooiinnkk oink oink, oink oink ooink oink oink oink oink oink oink."

Spoiler :
"What? I don’t know! There's no time for that! I need your help! Just like Marf, you're plowing one of those witches in their back sty, and I need you to get them to give me back my pork sword. I'd have gone to Alias with his love of puppets, but that fucking freak wouldn't know a big dick if he was slobbing on it. And the only other way I know of to get the witches' help is Marf, but I figured he'd probably want to get on up in these guts instead. So I'm left with you. You may be a walking fucking garden gnome, but you are a complete dick too, so at least you know what a cock is."

Caedus doesn’t really respond. Instead, he grabs Hotdog, flips him over, and reveals his puppet hole for the world to see! Ever the inquisitive type, Caedus shoves his hand on in, and holds Hotdog high into the air like the pig is a sword and Jim just turned into He-Man.

"I hav' tah power!"

Does putting an apostrophe instead of an E even make a difference there? STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!

"Oink oink oink oink, oink ooiinnk ooiinnk! Oink oink oink oink ooiink ooiinnk oink oink oink oink. Oink oink oink oooiinnkk oink oink oink oink-ooiinnk oink, OINK! Oink ooiin'k ooiink ooink oink ooiink oink Ooiink Ooiinnk'k ooiinnkk oink oooiinnkk oink Oink oink oink ooink oink... ooiinnkk(?) oink Oink ooiin'k oink oink ooiinnk ooink oink!"

Spoiler :
"Get out of me, you fucking buffoon! I can feel your stubby fingers in my pork ribs. I need to transform back into an ass-kicking pig, ASAP! This bitch's karate chops are weaker than Charlie Nickles's attempts at relevancy and I have a match like... tomorrow(?) that I haven't done a fucking thing for!"

Giddy with glee, Caedus trips and falls and dies or something. Again, I don't know. Maybe he's alive? Fucking whatever. With his shoulders down and his hand still stuck inside Hotdog, XWF official Richard Wang walks by with a whole bunch of white powder clearly visible around his nose. He assumes this to be a pin attempt and drops to the ground.

1...

(Why the fuck would this even get a two count?
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JimCaedus (10-13-2021)
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Messages In This Thread
Help me? - Hotdog - 10-12-2021 09:04 PM
re:Help me? - Charlie Nickles - 10-12-2021, 09:57 PM
re:Help me? - JimCaedus - 10-13-2021, 09:02 AM
re:Help me? - Hotdog - 10-13-2021, 02:34 PM



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