" Convince captains to choose me quickly? I'll play along: I am the one who is under a constant barrage; incursion after incursion for the sake of stripping me of this ornament constructed of the skins of the dead and the metals of falsified values. When My Crimson Face—a force none of you could ever hope to defeat, mind you—did fail to extract this so called champion's label from Vinnie Lane, I walked in on my own two feet and plucked it from his greedy little hands like Peter Gilmour taking candy from a baby… unless that baby's name is Christian, in which case Peter gets the unholy hell battered into and out of his very soul. "

" Not only did I make the acquiring of this symbol of greatness look easy, but I've made my countless successes in retaining it look even easier. Attackers from every angle; periodic swarms of distractions that apparently are supposed to make me not feel that a person is pinning me; invisible pins and attempts to poison this flesh and bone vessel you see before you—thwarted, shattered, cast away from any semblance of that which you'd call your reality. And I did raise thy fist high, proclaiming to your gods: 'Finish me!' And I did peer deep below the surface, bellowing with every fiber of creation that has coded my makers: 'Pull me under!' All for naught; no man, woman, child, beast, god, extraterrestrial, or demon incarnate could even envision in their most fantastical stupors a world in which defeating me could be so much as a comprehensible allusion on their part, let alone an illusion anyone else would physically see or ever offer belief in. The mere thought of keeping me down by force is so far from any factual construction that a man could damn near be committed to the insane asylum for even dreaming of such a farce. "

" And if that weren't enough, I now offer you not a threat but a crystal clear promise. "

" Should I happen to be chosen in any round other than this first round of picks, by any captain, I will take it upon myself to do everything within my power to cost my team the victory. I'm not referring to slacking, as they say, no no; I'm referring to complete and unbridled sabotage of mythic proportions that will see a wake of life-fluids trailing behind me farther than any eye can see. That is, of course, unless every single member of said team pays me half of the earnings they've amassed here in this XWF. "

" And let's not even dream of the discussion to be had should I be that sole survivor; the one man left after the draft is said and done. I will force myself into a position that will see countless names suffer by my hand; by My Crimson Face's hand; and most importantly, by the hands of those you believed to be your own allies. "

" I've made my position perfectly clear, my luscious and swollen pigs. First round pick gets one hundred percent of my allegiance—anything less requires payment from all members of the team to stop me from destroying it from within. Leave me without a team and give me the freedom to fulfill my cravings at the expense of the lot of you. "

" And that's all, you need, to ever trust. Trust, in lieu of knowledge, because as I've told you all before: You Don't Know. "