MrVyper
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP
XWF FanBase: Heel w/ Cult Following (the heel you love to love; does whatever they want)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Thu May 09 2013
Posts: 64
20,546
Likes Given: 9
Likes Received: 19 in 14 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 0 in 0 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 0 in 0 posts
Reputation:
1
X-Bux: ✘75,000
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05-23-2013, 08:28 AM
I'm glad you've brought it back as I haven't seen many women gimmicks. I think a dark woman gimmick is sort of missing in wrestling in real life and I think that XWF can really benefit from your return, just really try and develop your character as to why she's turned dark and use an angle as to why your going to be dark.
I've taken a quick scan over sinner and saint and although I guess I am contradicting myself if you've read my most recent RP, the length is quite intimidating, hopefully you don't take offence because it's not a bad thing, you just get into that zone and you want to keep it flowing but thats the only thing I'd say, go over it and remove the bits maybe you feel you don't need as I have to do that otherwise I would be posting loads of my ramblings haha. Other than that it looks neat, I will take a proper look later when I have the time but other than that it all looks good, I like the way you set the scene, I think if you read around the best from around here they are very good at setting the scene and getting the characters emotions across without saying 'Sin looks happy.'
Keep up the good work, I look forward to reading it in detail and reading more of your work!
As you can tell, I do like rambling because I've just rambled already. I'll stop rambling now.
Rambling, Rambling, Rambling.
"The leader of the egotistical society, the prosecutor of the weak, leader of the great."
...
I am, "The Serpent"
ZAYNE VYPER
Match Record
Win| Loss | Draw
5 | 2 | 0
..
Match Record:
Warfare: defeated Frost & SVD via High&Dry
Shove It: defeated Intemporaliter Scelestus w/ Swift Ion
High Stakes: defeated Dean Moxley via High&Dry
High Stakes: defeated by The Crimson Knights via escaping the cage.
Warfare: defeated Kristen Silver via Lights Out
Madness: defeated Danny Danger & Jonathyn Davydson via High and Dry.
Warfare: defeated by Peter Gilmour via pin-fall.
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Sincere Lee Wild
XWF's Ultimate Sin
XWF FanBase: Monster Heel (always booed; cheats; hurts people)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Wed Jan 16 2013
Posts: 290
68,777
Likes Given: 0
Likes Received: 130 in 82 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 0 in 0 posts
Hates Given: 0
Hates Received: 0 in 0 posts
Reputation:
20
X-Bux: ✘75,000
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05-23-2013, 08:46 AM
I appreciate your honesty and advice I logs it more than anything when people find flaws and try to help fix them in my writing.
As far as rambling Im a woman its what we do best lol.
Amber
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Peter Fn Gilmour
the man with the SUPER DICK
XWF FanBase: Hardcore, psycho fans (cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Tue Jan 01 2013
Posts: 6,899
1,406,412
Likes Given: 3,945
Likes Received: 3,679 in 2,396 posts
Hates Given: 1,360
Hates Received: 380 in 301 posts
Hates Given: 1,360
Hates Received: 380 in 301 posts
Reputation:
137
X-Bux: ✘98,535
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05-23-2013, 06:50 PM
Good work
SUCK... MY... DICK!
3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion
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