The camera pans an overhead view of the glorious and illustrious white house as a helicopter shot encircles its entire perimeter. When we last saw this structure, it was a sight of pure bliss and absolute paradise. Everything was neat and in perfect order as the noble yards and buildings were kept up and the landscape was trimmed and looked ever so delightful. That was until our piece of shit PRESIDENT! showed up and brought the world into a storm of hellfire and brimstone. Causing chaos and calamity for all the world to witness and fear.

The helicopter panders its shots around the building and meanders slowly throughout the entire panoramic view of the White House. Trash of all sorts of the like is littered all over the lawn from empty beer cans to abandoned cars that are blazing in a heap of fire. Dead hookers and hypodermic needles clutter all over the front lawn that obviously hasn't been mowed in weeks. Giant weeds and rocks of all shapes and sizes are spread out amongst the wreckage slithering their long tentacles through the trees and tumultuous trash that was lain all over the place.

You can't even really call it the White House anymore since it is spray-painted with black and red colors with graffiti of the satanic nature. Inverted pentagrams are everywhere, along with heads of goats placed directly through stakes that are sticking out of the ground. Some sort of seance is taking place off in some secluded area of the White House grounds where an entire circle has burned the grass entirely away completely. Isabella Ravenwolf is sacrificing babies left and right with a coalition of creeps standing beneath her bathing in the infant's blood. Of sound there is little, but for the whirling whipping of the helicopter blades humming and holding the flying vehicle up in the air.













That is.......



















until...........
























































SATAN! -- "MORE TACO BELL TOASTED CHEDDAR CHALUPAS! NOW!"

The PRESIDENT!'s boisterous and annoying voice echoes throughout the entire scene and shakes the entire hellish landscape beneath the helicopter. Convulsing the ground and splitting a hole in the terrain as if some type of massive earthquake had just occurred. Random objects go plummeting to their ultimate demise deep inside the fissure that has developed along with numerous members of Ravenwolf's cult falling to their untimely death. The helicopter starts spinning out of control and crashes abruptly in the trees off in the distance. Shattering and breaking them in half easily as it looks as if they had not been given a single drop of water in a very long time. The camera that was inside the chopper now flings out its side door and rolls across the ground like some kind of basketball until it comes to a complete stop.

SATAN! -- "I SAID NOW YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!"

The ground rumbles again at the sound of his demonic voice, and this causes the camera to roll across the ground even more and eventually make its way inside the front door of the White House that opens miraculously of its own accord. It tumbles down a tirade of staircases before finally landing at the front door of the fitness center. Where the PRESIDENT! is seen standing on top of a treadmill that isn't moving at all and ranting and raving like a god damn lunatic with his face beet red and screaming directly at Sarah Huckabee Sanders who is seen looking dumbfounded and shrugging her shoulders in complete dismay.

Sarah Sanders -- "Sir the...."

She is interrupted by the blabbering buffoon as he looks even more upset than before.

SATAN! -- "What did I tell you to call me? Don't you remember you stupid wench?"

Sarah sighs heavily before answering the question.

Sarah Sanders -- "Yes, your royal highness."

SATAN! -- "Explain to me how I'm supposed to get my workout in without my delicious toasted cheddar chalupas? Huh! Explain that to me?"

Sarah Sanders -- "Well, if I'm being honest, you don't even have the treadmill plugged in and all you've been doing is standing there eating Taco Bell chalupas and watching television on the flat screen in front of your face all night long, sir."

The PRESIDENT! raises his fist in the air to backhand her, but does not commit the heinous act before she can cower away and correct herself.

Sarah Sanders -- "I'm sorry, your royal highness."

SATAN! -- "Someone called me tubby and so I'm trying to shed a few pounds. Don't question my workout methods! I mean, what would you know about it just look at yourself you fat cow. Also, these aren't just any regular type of chalupas, Sarah. These are fucking toasted cheddar cheese chalupas bitch. Have you ever fucking had one? They are beyond delicious, especially when you order them with the warm nacho cheese in the middle. They are probably the single most delicious thing that has entered my mouth and that includes my hot wife's tender and juicy pussy lips."

Sarah Sanders -- "No, you won't share with anyone, remember? The chalupas or your wife's genitals"

SATAN! -- "Get your own, I pay you don't I?"

She mumbles something under her breath while tucking her chin and turning her head around slightly so that hopefully the PRESIDENT! doesn't hear her.

Sarah Sanders - "Not nearly enough."

SATAN! -- "What was that?"

She immediately perks back up as if she wasn't trying to disguise anything.

Sarah Sanders -- "Nothing your highness, just a minor cough. Here, have some more of your toasted cheddar chalupas."

She hands him a giant bag with the Taco Bell logo on the front of it that is filled completely to the brim with chalupas as he snatches it out of her hand with a vengeance as if he was starving and had not eaten in days. Obviously, by his enormous gut, he's been pretty well-fed for quite some time.

Sarah Sanders -- "Don't you find it a little bit ironic that you love this Mexican food so much that was probably made by some low skilled and low paid and most likely illegal immigrant?"

SATAN! "Are they raping the chalupas?"

Sarah Sanders -- "Not sure that you can rape food, your highness, but I suppose you've explained plenty of the things you do in even less crazy ways."

SATAN! -- "Be gone foul woman, so I can get back to my workout!"

Sarah Sanders -- "Alright, but just know that's the last of them. I've scoured the entire area and been to every Taco Bell location within a 10-mile radius, and believe me when I say this, that's a lot of Taco Bell's! It's amazing how many of those exist almost everywhere. Also, they are a very popular item as apparently your not the only one who shovels them down his throat like tic-tacs."

HE! sneers and laughs and then coughs up a chunk of ground beef that probably actually comes from horses.

SATAN! -- "I'm the fucking PRESIDENT! so I get whatever I want! It's in the Constitution. The 666th amendment! Go read it, bitch!"

She turns her head again and whispers under her breath.

Sarah Sanders -- "Well, that pretty much confirms what all the democrats were already thinking."

The PRESIDENT! is too infatuated with his bag of goodies to even pay attention to what she just said, as a grease stain coagulates in the left corner of the bag as he holds it up to his face. With that being said she makes a hasty exit out of the fitness room shaking her head.

SATAN! -- "Finally, fuckin' women! They never shut the fuck up until you grab them by the pussy!"

He grabs the remote and starts flipping through channels on the flat-screen television while inhaling two toasted cheddar chalupas into his mouth at a time. He doesn't even bother to unwrap them and just continuously keeps shoveling them in an endless stream of grease and fat into his mouth. The grease stain growing rapidly and quickly on the side of the bag as if someone dumped a pitcher of water inside it. He's still just standing on the treadmill without it moving at all.

He looks down at the heart rate monitor and grabs the handlebar that help detects your heartbeat while working out on the treadmill. He uses his opposite hand not gripping on tightly to the large bag of Taco Bell in the other. Grasping tightly like a crack fiend would his pipe. He sits the bag on the front of the treadmill now, which is probably a good idea since at any moment the bag was going to burst through the bottom like a plastic grocery bag that was overfull from all the grease that was quickly building up at the bottom of it.

He shakes his head dissatisfied with the results that he is getting from the heart rate monitor and then begins picking up his pace with his other hand and just starts scooping handful after handful of random bits of food by just digging in the bag faster and faster. The heart rate monitor begins increasing as a smile comes across his face that is hardly noticeable as his cheeks are full to the brim like a chipmunk. He swallows the entire enlarged mouthful in one solid gulp without even managing to chew the food at all.

SATAN! "Now THAT'S what I call a fucking work out!"

He is suddenly interrupted as a flashing red light with a siren starts going off in a very loud and annoying manner. It is mounted on its side and fastened in corner of the room. As this is taking place his facial expressions start to elude that he is quite obviously annoyed as he presses a button from behind his red tie that brings down a television screen with a system of levers with automated precision directly in front of his face. It unfolds in front of him and the screen starts with a bunch of lines of static before the face of Secretary of State Mike Pompeo appears dressed in a fancy suit and tie.

Mike Pompeo -- "Mr. PRESIDENT! The Kurds are being overrun and massacred by Turkey in Syria at this very moment. They have launched an all-out invasion! What's your plan of action as they have begged and pleaded with us to come to their aid as we ALWAYS have in the past! They helped us defeat Sadaam Hussein and ISIS after all!"

SATAN! "Can't you see I'm in the middle of my fucking workout, Mike!"

The PRESIDENT! grabs a handful of grease as that was all that was at the bottom of the bag at this point and slops it down his lips and into his mouth.

Mike Pompeo -- "You're eating Taco Bell and watching cartoons, your highness."

SATAN! "Exactly, now leave me alone I'm really starting to feel the burn here!"

He belches incredibly loudly and you can tell a piece of food comes up from the back of his throat that he swallows and smiles with glee. The PRESIDENT! then pulls a Tums tablet from out of his pocket and puts it in his mouth and chews it for a while before swallowing it. The television screen retracts and goes back up into the ceiling and then the PRESIDENT! starts flipping through channels once again.

SATAN! -- "For the love of ME! Why do I have to do everything around here I didn't sign up for this!"

The alarm starts going off again and the PRESIDENT! slams the now empty bag of Taco Bell onto the ground with grease splattering up in the air and splashing him in the face. He wags his tongue outside onto his cheeks and laps it up like a dog before pressing the button behind his red tie again and allowing the same retractable television screen to produce static and then Mike Pompeo's face once again.

Mike Pompeo -- "Mr. PRESIDENT! Chris Page just aired a new promo and....."

SATAN! -- "Not now Mike! The new episode of South Park is about to come on!"

Mike Pompeo -- "I guess I can't blame you for that, your highness."

SATAN! -- "The next time you buzz me, it better be fucking important. YOU GOT IT!"

Mike Pompeo -- "Yes, your highness."

The television screen retracts again and Mike Pompeo disappears out of sight. The PRESIDENT! is out of delicious chalupas and thinks momentarily to himself about what he might do to occupy his time next. A smile crosses his face as he starts unzipping his pants and turns the channel on the television over to 'Keeping up with the Kardashians'. He reaches into his pants with his right hand and then grips the heart rate monitor with his left as he chuckles sadistically to himself. He almost whips out his member before the television screen comes back down instantly this time with no alarm going off in the background. Suddenly Mike Pompeo again appears and literally catches the PRESIDENT! with his pants down.

Mike Pompeo -- "Mr. PRESIDENT!"

The Secretary of State looks down at the PRESIDENT! to see exactly what he was doing fiddling around with his belt behind the treadmill. He covers his eyes and turns away upon discovering the despicable act the PRESIDENT! was about to engage in.

SATAN! "What the fuck man. Can't I get a little privacy around here or what! All I want is a little alone time!"

Mike Pompeo -- "Sorry, your highness, but it's important! Our Russian spies have told us that Father O'Malley has found a new apprentice!"

The complete look of shock and bewilderment comes across the PRESIDENT!'s face as he grabs the side of the treadmill to try and stop himself from collapsing onto the floor. It's as if a bullet just struck him and his entire body was about to come crashing down faster than John F. Kennedy! Anger and rage now fill his emotional state as he screams loudly at the screen while stepping off the treadmill causing his pants to fall down to his ankles. The situation seems so dire and in such need of his immediate attention that he doesn't even think to pull them back up.

SATAN! "Alert my Soldier right fucking now and beam his hologram to me immediately. We must not let Father O'Malley develop this new Keanu Reeves!"

Mike Pompeo -- "It will be done at once, your highness!"

The Secretary of State disappears and the television screen retracts yet again, and then immediately a hologram of Unknown Soldier appears before him hovering in a massive white glow that fills the room. He's seen slaughtering babies with Isabella Ravenwolf on the front lawn of the White House. Isabella Ravenwolf points behind Unknown Soldier who had a baby up above his head and was about to swallow it whole. The demon dicked defiler gets a startled look across his face realizing he was appearing before the PRESIDENT! in a hologram. He immediately drops the baby on the ground and turns around and kneels before the PRESIDENT!

Unknown Soldier -- "What is thy bidding, my MASTER!"

SATAN! -- "Father O'Malley has found a Luke Skywalker! You must seek him out and destroy him at once!"

Isabella Ravenwolf -- "Why doesn't he just come inside and talk to you? Why do you have to beam him through on the hologram when he's just right outside your house?"

SATAN! -- "I didn't spend billions of dollars of taxpayer money on frivolous things for it to go to waste! Anyways, who is this bitch and why is she not kneeling before me?"

Unknown Soldier -- "This is my new girlfriend."

SATAN! -- "Stop playing tiddlywinks with this pair of tits! We've got work to do!"

The hologram fizzles out and Soldier disappears. The PRESIDENT! with a sudden surge of discomfort grabs his ass cheeks and tries to hold them together as a sudden sense of worry comes across his face.

SATAN! -- "Holy shit! I'm starting to feel the burn coming out my other end!"

He slips and falls flat on his face as he attempts to make a mad dash to the restroom due to his pants still unknowingly to him being around his ankles. A loud squishy noise is heard before the camera on the floor of the fitness center filming the entire situation runs out of batteries.