Steve "KingSlayer" Davids
Steve Davids
XWF FanBase: Teens, some men, few kids (booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
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Joined: Wed Mar 13 2013
Posts: 1,040
228,880
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Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 22 in 20 posts
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Reputation:
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X-Bux: ✘75,000
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04-13-2017, 03:24 AM
3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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The following 1 user Likes Steve "KingSlayer" Davids's post:1 user Likes Steve "KingSlayer" Davids's post
Imperial (04-13-2017)
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Dolly Waters
Always.
XWF FanBase: The IWC (gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Tue Sep 13 2016
Posts: 777
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Hates Received: 44 in 41 posts
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04-13-2017, 03:51 AM
I wanted to see more promo. But I really enjoyed it- glad you're back.
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The following 1 user Likes Dolly Waters's post:1 user Likes Dolly Waters's post
Steve "KingSlayer" Davids (04-13-2017)
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Steve "KingSlayer" Davids
Steve Davids
XWF FanBase: Teens, some men, few kids (booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Wed Mar 13 2013
Posts: 1,040
228,880
Likes Given: 432
Likes Received: 503 in 300 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 22 in 20 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 22 in 20 posts
Reputation:
56
X-Bux: ✘75,000
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04-13-2017, 04:23 AM
Thanks guys, means a lot. Sorry Dolly, there'll me more where that came from.
3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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The following 1 user Likes Steve "KingSlayer" Davids's post:1 user Likes Steve "KingSlayer" Davids's post
Dolly Waters (04-13-2017)
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Imperial
The Unchained Prince
WWW
XWF FanBase: (.Awaiting user update)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Thu Mar 16 2017
Posts: 237
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0
X-Bux: ✘74,962
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04-13-2017, 10:52 AM
The story building is great, I think it's a great return promo considering I know nothing about your character. Gave me a little insight into his history.
I'm not sure how your character used to be, so do forgive me if I jump to assumptions, but I've realised a lot of the guys here have little quirks that make their character dialogue unique. Be it the curse words they use, the sentence structure etc, I feel like the dialogue coming out of Davids was a little generic, nothing there popped out and hit me you know?
But I mean, that's me trying hard and digging deep to find something to critique. I had a lot of fun reading through it, some incredible work there, welcome back.
The Unchained Prince
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The following 2 users Like Imperial's post:2 users Like Imperial's post
Steve "KingSlayer" Davids (04-13-2017), Vincent Lane (04-13-2017)
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Vincent Lane
Rock n' Rolling XWF Owner and Megastar
XWF FanBase: (.Awaiting user update)
(Where is my roster page?)
Joined: Fri Jul 18 2014
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04-13-2017, 11:36 AM
(04-13-2017, 10:52 AM)DannyImperial Said: The story building is great, I think it's a great return promo considering I know nothing about your character. Gave me a little insight into his history.
I'm not sure how your character used to be, so do forgive me if I jump to assumptions, but I've realised a lot of the guys here have little quirks that make their character dialogue unique. Be it the curse words they use, the sentence structure etc, I feel like the dialogue coming out of Davids was a little generic, nothing there popped out and hit me you know?
But I mean, that's me trying hard and digging deep to find something to critique. I had a lot of fun reading through it, some incredible work there, welcome back.
I think this is great feedback for ANY roleplayer. Something that really follows through on the writing concept of 'show, don't tell.' You can get a lot across with a character just by the way he speaks or behaves, which allows you to not have to just spell it out in exposition, which can bog down and take up space.
Something to keep in mind for everyone.
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The following 1 user Likes Vincent Lane's post:1 user Likes Vincent Lane's post
Imperial (04-13-2017)
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Tommy Gunn
Director of XWF Security
XWF FanBase: (.Awaiting user update)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Apr 13 2014
Posts: 508
91,625
Likes Given: 227
Likes Received: 189 in 129 posts
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Hates Received: 68 in 59 posts
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Reputation:
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04-13-2017, 12:15 PM
This was a great return RP man. I really missed the Davids character but there was one thing missing from it.
Where was all the gay sex?
I remember in your older rps Davids used to take dicks two and three at a time.
Dicks errwhere.
#MakeDavidsGayAgain
Record: 8 - 2
1 x RTX Champion
1 x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
1 x Federweight Champion
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The following 4 users Like Tommy Gunn's post:4 users Like Tommy Gunn's post
Imperial (04-13-2017), John Whyte (04-13-2017), Steve "KingSlayer" Davids (04-13-2017), Vincent Lane (04-13-2017)
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Steve "KingSlayer" Davids
Steve Davids
XWF FanBase: Teens, some men, few kids (booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Wed Mar 13 2013
Posts: 1,040
228,880
Likes Given: 432
Likes Received: 503 in 300 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 22 in 20 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 22 in 20 posts
Reputation:
56
X-Bux: ✘75,000
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04-13-2017, 01:02 PM
(04-13-2017, 10:52 AM)DannyImperial Said: The story building is great, I think it's a great return promo considering I know nothing about your character. Gave me a little insight into his history.
I'm not sure how your character used to be, so do forgive me if I jump to assumptions, but I've realised a lot of the guys here have little quirks that make their character dialogue unique. Be it the curse words they use, the sentence structure etc, I feel like the dialogue coming out of Davids was a little generic, nothing there popped out and hit me you know?
But I mean, that's me trying hard and digging deep to find something to critique. I had a lot of fun reading through it, some incredible work there, welcome back.
Thanks Danny, I'll take that on board. I guess I take for granted that people will assume Davids is a husky talking Brit and that doesn't come across enough in my writing. I'll work on it.
Thanks everyone for the feedback, it's much appreciated.
3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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Tommy Gunn
Director of XWF Security
XWF FanBase: (.Awaiting user update)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Apr 13 2014
Posts: 508
91,625
Likes Given: 227
Likes Received: 189 in 129 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 68 in 59 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 68 in 59 posts
Reputation:
24
X-Bux: ✘76,020
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04-13-2017, 01:54 PM
What about my feedback? I feel like mine was extremely insightful and really hit the nail on the head.
Record: 8 - 2
1 x RTX Champion
1 x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
1 x Federweight Champion
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Steve "KingSlayer" Davids
Steve Davids
XWF FanBase: Teens, some men, few kids (booed by casual fans; hurts people; often angry)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Wed Mar 13 2013
Posts: 1,040
228,880
Likes Given: 432
Likes Received: 503 in 300 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 22 in 20 posts
Hates Given: 14
Hates Received: 22 in 20 posts
Reputation:
56
X-Bux: ✘75,000
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04-13-2017, 02:30 PM
(04-13-2017, 01:54 PM)Tommy Gunn Said: What about my feedback? I feel like mine was extremely insightful and really hit the nail on the head.
Uh yeah cheers
3x Xtreme Champion
1x Briefcase Holder
1x Television Champion
1x Universal Champion
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Tommy Gunn
Director of XWF Security
XWF FanBase: (.Awaiting user update)
XWF Roster Page
Joined: Sun Apr 13 2014
Posts: 508
91,625
Likes Given: 227
Likes Received: 189 in 129 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 68 in 59 posts
Hates Given: 8
Hates Received: 68 in 59 posts
Reputation:
24
X-Bux: ✘76,020
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04-13-2017, 02:31 PM
Lets get a beer. And by a beer I mean several. You're buying.
Record: 8 - 2
1 x RTX Champion
1 x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
1 x Federweight Champion
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The following 1 user Likes Tommy Gunn's post:1 user Likes Tommy Gunn's post
Steve "KingSlayer" Davids (04-13-2017)
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