Alexis Riot walks into a random room, confused.

"Ok, what the actual fuck is going on around here? I turn my back for just a few months and... and... Jesus, it's like a completely different company! The only other time I've felt this confused about what's happening in the XWF was when I first joined this place!"

Riot then sees none other than Unknown Solider himself, still pleasuring that Baphomet Statue. Riot, due to all the shit she's seen in the XWF, is unfazed, and calmly asks Solider a question.

"Oh hey, aren't you that one dude who put his dick in a Hillary Clinton blow up doll? Anyway, can you give me a brief summary on what in the name of Shane 's gaping asshole is going on?"

Unknown Solider turns around and scowls at Alexis, angered that she would dare interrupt his ritual. Alexis Riot then notices the X-Treme Title around his waste.

"On second thought-"

Without warning, Alexis Riot kicks Unknown Solider right in his balls, sending the X-Treme Champion to his knees. Alexis Riot then follows it up with a superkick straight to the jaw! The kick is so strong, it launches Solider into the statue, causing it to shatter into a million pieces! Alexis then goes for the cover in the midst of the rubble.

1...........

2.................

and.....................

Love me? Good. Hate me? Better

Accomplishments:
1 Time X-Treme Champion
Snow Job Gauntlet Winner

Soldier kicks out.

He begins spitting bits of stone from the statue out of his lips after they shattered all over the place. He spits them directly into Alexis Riots face and then laughs at her profusely.

Unknown Soldier: "First, tell me what in the actual fuck did you spend your time away? What fucking Avril Lavigne concert did you fall out from? Skater girls ain't cool bitch, their most likely the product of an uknown father. Tomboys come from little girls with no father figures. I'm confused as to how you remember me, because I have absolutely no recollection of you whatsoever. Could just be the cotton candy colored hair cut thing. So yeah, now I'm the Xtreme Champion and fucking the real life version of Hillary Clinton. It's about fucking time Bill got a taste of his own adultery! In case you're still confused...

Me = Awesome as Always
You = Forever

Glad I can be the one to bring you back up to speed. Although it would appear nothing has ever changed. I'm still the best times 666 and Hail SATAN! and all that good stuff! Hahahahahahahahaha hohohohohohohoho Fuck You!"