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Feedback Request: Mario's Roleplays - Printable Version

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Mario's Roleplays - Super Mario - 04-20-2017

ok so i need some feedback on what i've had to say so far in my roleplays yeah?

- outta the pipes hittin the streets killin it in the ring

boots on the boardwalk and up people's asses


Mario's Roleplays - Super Mario - 04-21-2017

newest r.p

An Entire Mushroom Kingdom of Pain To Come


Mario's Roleplays - Imperial - 04-26-2017

Your roleplays seem a little rushed. Once you're done writing, I'd suggest taking some time away from the piece and then reviewing it. This will help you correct punctuation errors, you tend to not close your quotation marks. You also miss out on some capitalisation.

Color coding is also good, pick a color for your action texts, pick a color for your speech and pick a color for other people's speech.

Also, feel free to add more action to your character, what he's doing. Mario twirls his stache for instance, or does a cute little jump with one hand in the air. These things make it easier to visualise as we read your work.


Mario's Roleplays - Super Mario - 04-30-2017

this is the single best promo i've done to date in my opinion

Brawlin in the Buckeye State


Mario's Roleplays - Super Mario - 05-01-2017

R.P #2 VS Dolly

You Think you Know Everything...But You Dont Know Shit!


Mario's Roleplays - Imperial - 05-02-2017

me earlier Said:"Your roleplays seem a little rushed. Once you're done writing, I'd suggest taking some time away from the piece and then reviewing it. This will help you correct punctuation errors, you tend to not close your quotation marks. You also miss out on some capitalisation."

I can only reiterate. Your punctuation could really use some help, Microsoft Word.


re:Mario's Roleplays - #MemeQueen Luca Torchwick - 05-03-2017

(05-02-2017, 07:43 AM)DannyImperial Said:
me earlier Said:"Your roleplays seem a little rushed. Once you're done writing, I'd suggest taking some time away from the piece and then reviewing it. This will help you correct punctuation errors, you tend to not close your quotation marks. You also miss out on some capitalisation."

I can only reiterate. Your punctuation could really use some help, Microsoft Word.

Punctuation for bitches

I'm very proud of this joke for reasons I don't want to begin to understand.


Mario's Roleplays - Super Mario - 05-03-2017

Much as your advice is sacred Danny lets just agree together that it's likely I'd never win the "Mr. Perfect" award for my r.p's even though i used Microsoft word for this latest one. I AGREE with Luca i mean so long as my r.p told the story, made it readable with color, and got my message across loud and crystal clear to my opponent isn't that enough yes or no?


re:Mario's Roleplays - Imperial - 05-03-2017

(05-03-2017, 01:07 AM)Super Mario Said: Much as your advice is sacred Danny lets just agree together that it's likely I'd never win the "Mr. Perfect" award for my r.p's even though i used Microsoft word for this latest one. I AGREE with Luca i mean so long as my r.p told the story, made it readable with color, and got my message across loud and crystal clear to my opponent isn't that enough yes or no?

Well this is a feedback page Sad

"Enough" Isn't the point, isn't it about trying to get better? I apologise if I came off asinsulting though.


Mario's Roleplays - Super Mario - 05-03-2017

true on both points and no apology needed it's cool


Mario's Roleplays - Super Mario - 08-01-2017

Alright people dig it I gotta new R.P eh?

Kind of A Big Deal

Its my return promo so be good to me will ya?...or not!


Mario's Roleplays - Doctor Louis D'Ville - 09-15-2017

Like reading poetry with a shotgun. If I were reading that walking home late on a Saturday night I would be arrested because I stumbled the entire way. It's a good thing we had Game Girl or else I would hate video game characters now. I threw my Nintendo in the garbage.