The sun shines brightly, deep set in a cloudless azure canvas as birds fly by, carrying with them a happy tune. All seems to be in perfect harmony as the world is welcomed to the very first look into the glorious rapture of delight that is John Cena's life. Yes, it is not everyday you are greeted with such visual and audio pleasures, but it is asked you control yourselves the best you can. We here in the John Cena narrative team wouldn't want you to faint, hit your head and need to be rushed to the hospital just because of a John Cena promo. So if you feel the excitement building up inside and start to become light headed due to that factor...please, stop viewing this piece and return to it when you've attained a much calmer state. Perhaps some deep breathing exercises and a cup of Earl Grey tea will help render your status to one that is tranquil enough to continue, but that is merely a suggestion from the John Cena narrative team.


Now then, we start this wondrous journey of sight and sound, traveling along in John Cena's energy efficient, pollution free hybrid vehicle as John Cena navigates through traffic, headed towards his first destination for the day. An elementary school where he is to speak on the travesty that is bullying. A topic we all can agree is a serious one and definitely one that a man like John Cena can bring some enlightenment on its negativity, in order to achieve its prompt cease and desist. Of course while on this mission of peace, John needs to secure inspiration with some music. So while John Cena drives onward along the highway, a happy tune emits from his radio.





In addition to the pleasant music John is listening to, he is also accenting the air while he drives with the delightful aroma that emits from a tightly repacked and rerolled cigar resting between his lips. It's cherry burning bright as he intakes a pull off it, while bobbing his head to the beat of the music. Cena then momentarily holds that pull of smoke in, before he releases a burst of it outward, finally filling the car with the scent of some of the finest cannabis money can buy. To breathe in the outtake, would be like inhaling the very fumes of the Pot Gods. One could only dream of being so fortunate as to bask in the voluptuous aroma, let alone be there to share in the consumption of the product.


An act that is both a blessing and a curse for us on the John Cena narrative team, for even though we get to travel with Cena at all times, we have yet to be invited to do such a thing. Perhaps one day...


Shut the fuck up and stop sounding like desperate ass bitches. Just get on with the narration.


Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.


Yeah, you'll be sorry when I break this 14 inch K-Swiss up your ass.


Okay...okay...we're sorry, we'll continue with the narration. Geez.


Anyway, as we were saying...


John Cena enhances the air with the odor of his marijuana stuffed cigar as he listens to the smooth sounds of Easy E on his travels to West Mulberry, an elementary school he's been asked to speak at about bullying. Something he'd naturally never take part in and is most assuredly the best person to thwart its occurrence.


While John Cena drives towards his destination, we can't help but notice that Cena is looking pretty good for his appearance to inform and raise awareness within children on the severity of bullying. Decked out in his most vividly colored t-shirt, arm bands and hat, jeans and a pair of brand new, almost radiantly white K-Swiss sneakers, that we were just informed were a size 14 even though we clearly remember seeing a much smaller size on the box. A shoe that was threatened to go up our asses but was clearly a bluff, because this neat freak would never dirty up his brand new, super white sneakers on our assholes like that.


Really? You want to press your luck like that? I'm John Cena bitch! I own you and I can end you.


Yeah...you're all talk. We aren't scared.


Oh no?


Oh god! He's got a gun! John Cena has a gun! When did he start carrying a gun on him?


When? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I never stopped bitches!


POP!


POP!


Oh god! He shot Joaquin! Oh...oh god, th...th-there's so much blood!


Yeah, there's about to be a lot more blood if you don't start doing your job proper like. Now get back to narrating my shit before you get pumped with lead too.


O...o-okay. W...w-what...whatever you say. I'll be good and do my job.


Good! Now throw that punk ass bitch out the car. We got business to attend to. Ain't got time to be dealing with this sort of bullshit up in here.


B...b-but...h-he'll die...


So.


Couldn't we at least stop the car?


What do you think?


O....o-okay, just put the gun down. I'll toss him out. Oh god, I'm so sorry Joaquin.


THUNK!


O...o-oh, god...I...I think, I'm going to be ill.


Yeah, your going to be dead if you don't wise up and start doing your job.


Yes sir.