Clips are shown of earlier today:
'Take a Walk' by Passion Pit is the theme song for the show. About 45 seconds of the song is played while highlighting wrestlers that will be competing tonight.
We open to a shitload of pyrotechnics in the arena...
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM!
Just fireworks everywhere you look. The set up for Straight Edge Shove It is something beautiful to see. The stage has a huge X and on the side of that are two gigantic Xtrons. The entrance curtain is right below the bottom portion of the huge X. Even the crowd is something to see, just an arena of 50,000 packed. Along with signs galore, this electric crowd is ready to go! Just as the pyro stops a very familiar voice is heard.
JR: Welcome everybody to the Straight Edge addition of Shove It! I am Good Ol' Jim Ross! I am joined by my broadcast partner for tonight, "The Human Suplex Machine" Taz! And we are here is Aloha Stadium, home of the NFL Pro Bowl for many years!
![[Image: Jim%2BRoss.jpg]](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-72Cjhw62fek/TjBRXpEgRcI/AAAAAAAAA1I/lMkaPjn0jA8/s1600/Jim%2BRoss.jpg)
Taz: Man, this crowd is hot tonight! They are ready for some action! Let's do this!
![[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRq1vXGD7mviWAhVvDnJth...8MaR8cmi9U]](https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRq1vXGD7mviWAhVvDnJthUuenrJ0ipz8hEg8F4HR8MaR8cmi9U)
JR: And the ring announcer for the show, Hall of Famer Howard Finkel! 'The Fink' is in the ring.
![[Image: 267658-howard_finkel.jpg]](http://media.screened.com/uploads/0/5125/267658-howard_finkel.jpg)
| 'The Party Song' by Emery starts playing |
JR: And it looks as if we will be welcomed tonight be the esteemed general manger for the night, Hunter Payne.
Hunter Payne along with Joseph Kain and Ray Peterson make their way to the ring. All of them dressed in the most expensive suits money can buy.
Finkel: Please welcome, The Straight Edge Xtreme!
Once in the ring, Hunter Payne grabs a microphone and takes a minute to absorb the cheers for him.
Payne: Thank you all. Tonight will feature a tons of matches, lots of surprises, and most importantly no drugs or alcohol.
Hunter gets a mixed reaction for that last remark, but moves on.
Payne: Now let's get this show on the road, my special guest for the night...
Joy Giovanni!
Can you please come on down to the ring...
Out comes the seldom seen Joy Giovanni. She actually gets a pretty big pop, especially considering her past. Joy gets into the ring and is handed a microphone, she takes her place in the middle of the ring along with Hunter Payne, as the rest of SEX has retired to the far corner of the ring. Before Joy can speak, she is embraced with "Welcome Back" chants by Aloha Stadium.
Joy: Wow! Thank you! I miss you all soo much!... Hi Hunter!
Payne: Hi Joy.
Joy: Hi SEX!
SEX members wave at Joy.
Joy: Man, I've missed this place! The only bad part is that nobody backstage had any alcohol at all! Which was like a first!
Payne: Yeah, that's kinda the point.
Joy: Oh yeah! Duh! Your little drug free misfits! That's sooo cute!
Payne: It's not cute damn it!
Joy: Oh sorry, I didn't mean it like that... But I did notice your faction is one female short...
Payne: And?
Joy: AND, I feel that SEX isn't complete without a female. I mean otherwise you're just 4 guys in a group called SEX... And that's just weird... All I'm saying is that SEX isn't complete without Joy AND Payne!
Payne: It's Payne and Joy!!! And SEX doesn't take alcoholics!
Joy: But you can save me right?
JR: She's got a good point.
Payne: We could. If I thought you were serious for one second.
Joy: I am serious. Aloha Stadium? Do you want to see me join SEX tonight???
The non-existent roof blows off the place! Daniel Bryan's "YES!" chants fill the stadium.
Payne: Wow. You all really want this?
More "YES!" chants are heard all throughout the arena. Joy is really over in Hawaii.
Payne: Alright, Joy Giovanni! Welcome to the Straight Edge Xtreme!
Taz: That's huge!
The crowd goes nuts as Hunter extends his hand to Joy, and she shakes it. It seems Payne and Joy, or Joy and Payne, however you prefer to say it, is together once again. Hunter speaks to Joy as they are still shaking hands.
Payne: And Joy?
Joy: Yes?
Payne: Do you remember that fateful night August 3rd, 2013?
Joy: Ummm... Nope, can't say that I do. Why?
Payne: Because I do!!!
SPEAR!!!!!!
JR: GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY!!!
Taz: WHAT THE HELL?!
Ray Peterson just speared Joy in half! Out of nowhere! All of a sudden Hunter has a big grin on his face. Next Hunter mockingly does the NWO pointing to Joseph Kain, who proceeds to lift Joy up and hits his JK Spinebuster!
JR: Poor Joy. Somebody stop this!
Next Hunter, yells something inaudible to Ray Peterson. Peterson effortlessly picks Joy up and places her head and shoulder over Hunter's shoulder. Hunter lets out another big smile before hitting a thunderous Payneful Bottom! A Payneful Bottom some would say Hunter has been waiting months to do. He then grabs a dropped microphone that was on the mat.
Taz: This is disgusting to watch!
Hunter drops to his knees and speaks to an unconscious Joy in the exact same manner she did to him almost 5 months ago.
Payne: August 3rd, 2013 was Night of Payne! But it was dubbed the Night of Joy after you had five guys jump me and... and..... and you turned me into your bitch!!! Until you got bored and cheated on me... with Matt Lennox of all people! So does it ring a bell yet?! Huh?!
Hunter violently shoves the side of Joy's skull with his index finger, as if he is telling her to remember.
Payne: And now you and these people somehow think I'm going to let you ride my coattails again?! Awww poor baby, there's not a chance in hell that is ever happening again!
Hunter Payne slightly lifts Joy's head up and kisses her one last time. Then suddenly dropping her head back to the mat.
Payne: Joy's out! ;) Hahahahaha!
Taz: What a asshole!
Payne: This is Shove It: Straight Edge Xtreme! Enjoy the rest of the show!.. I know I will!
Shove It fades to it's first commercials.
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen before we start the first match, we have a very special performance for you. If you will please, turn your attention to the stage.
Just then the lights go out! But the arena is illuminated by fire tourches. As we see four men now on the stage, I wonder what they are going to do?
A standing ovation as the for men eit the arena and the lights come back on.
DING! DING!
Taz: Alright! First match of the night! Here we go!
JR: And we kick this show off with the Mysterious El Rey.
El Rey does a quick haka dance on the stage before entering the ring. The crowd loved it. As once 'Tribal' stops playing. All you can hear is cheers from the crowd.
| 'On Brave Mountains We Conquer' by Silverstein hits |
The mood immediately changes to boo's. Lots of heat is given at the appearence of LJ Havok. He looks at the fans and is getting absolutely no love here. LJ gets in the ring and once his music stops, he gets in a staredown with El Rey.
DING! DING!
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit!
Introducing first, from 'The Jungle' El Rey!
And his opponent, from Tupelo, Mississippi LJ Havok!
The crowd finally starts to settle down as the first match is just about underway.
DING! DING! DING!
JR: And here we go!
Lock up in the middle of the ring.
No, LJ backs away at the last second. Both men meet in the center.
SLAP!
LJ Havok with a slap to the face of El Rey. After a moment of shock, El Rey charges and tackles LJ Havok into the far corner. El Rey with multiple shoulder thrust into the corner. El Rey then lifts LJ Havok up to the second turnbuckle, just to throw him off with a side-belly-to-belly suplex. LJ hits the mat hard and rolls to the opposite corner for a breather, but Rey runs after him! Havok leans up against the turnbuckle and lifts his legs up. El Rey's head catches the boots of LJ Havok. Havok charges and hits a stiff uppercut, knocking El Rey down. LJ covers...
1....
2....
Kickout!
Havok wastes no time and locks in a grounded headlock, almost anaconda vise-like. Havok continues to add pressure on the human jaguar as we get an excellent view of the time left on the X-tron.
The clock keeps ticking...
and ticking....
and ticking down...
Until El Rey is able to use his power to get up with the headlock still in place. LJ wisely breaks the hold in order to continue his offense. Havok now with knees to the mid-section of El Rey. Scoop slam by Havok, and off the ropes he goes. Knee drop missed! El Rey is able to avoid it. Rey follows it up with a chop block to the back of the knee! LJ Havok holds his knee, as El Rey grabs a leg, wraps himself around it and locks in the figure four leglock!
JR: LJ Havok is screaming in pain!
The clock continues to go down...
The figure four is locked in tight! LJ tries to roll over to aliviate the pressure, but El Rey is too strong and just overpovers LJ back to a nutrual base. LJ Havok crawls and crawls and crawls to the bottom rope...
And he gets there!
JR: But you have to wonder just how much energy LJ Havok excurted getting to the ropes.
Taz: El Rey looks to be firm in the driver seat now.
El Rey picks up a hurt LJ Havok and hurls him over the top rope.
Taz: Well, there goes Havok.
JR: And if El Rey can do that in the main event tonight then he is on the fast track to the Xtreme Championship.
El Rey climbs the top turnbuckle and aims to hit LJ Havok on the outside of the ring.
He jumps...
El Rey hits a rolling senton onto LJ Havok on the outside of the ring!
But El Rey holds his neck afterwards...
JR: Oh no... This could be bad.
Referee begins the count.
1....
Taz: El Rey, much like myself, has had a history of neck problems.
2....
3....
4....
LJ Havok is starting to come to...
5....
LJ Havok is up! And he sees El Rey holding his neck. So he begins to stomp on the back of El Reys head and neck.
Taz: Havok smells blood in the water!
6.....
7......
LJ Havok rolls in the ring and rolls back out to restart the count...
The time limit on the match is still going as well.
LJ continues stomping away at that neck. Now hitting stiff elbows on the neck of El Rey.
1.....
JR: Oh come on! You could've won the damn match by count out Havok! Enough already!
2.....
LJ Havok irish whips El Rey head and neck first into the steel steps!
THUD!
JR: El Rey bounces off those unforgiving steel steps!
3....
LJ Havok deciding that he has inflicted enough punshment. Rolls back into the ring and tells the referee to count El Rey out.
4....
5....
Taz: Well, I guess LJ has decided that he is done competing in this match.
6....
7....
8....
El Rey is stirring...
9....
El Rey leaps back into the ring, though probably just on jaguar instinct.
JR: NO! This match is not over yet! Sorry LJ, your opponent still wants to fight...
Havok goes after that neck of El Rey with more stiff elbows, followed by a neck breaker, and a cover...
1.....
2......
Kickout!
Time clock is still running....
LJ Havok picks up the deadweight that is El Rey and irish whips him into the corner. Havok now goes to the opposite corner and begins to taunt before running full speed ahead for a high knee in the corner.
But El Rey is somehow able to move out of the way...
Havok catches himself though, and is purged up on the second rope.
SNAP!!!
El Rey just leaped towards the corner and hit a very loud, on the money, enziguri almost decapitating a purged LJ Havok. After a milisecond that felt like an etirnity, LJ Havok collapes off the second turnbuckle to the mat below!
JR: Oh my! Oh my!
Taz: What an enziguri! Did you hear that?! Wow!
Replays are shown of that amazing enziguri. When we return, both men are still down. El Rey favoring his neck but starting to come to. LJ Havok is motionless. Clock is still running...
El Rey turns Havok over and covers.
1.....
2.....
Kickout!
JR: So close!
El Rey lets out a loud roar and signifies the end is near! Rey waits for LJ Havok to reach his feet and lifts him up onto his shoulders. Could it be time for his monified F5 into an STO finisher? El Rey spins Havok...
SPINNING DDT!
JR: What a counter by LJ Havok!
Taz: On that injured neck!
Eventually Havok is able to attempt a pin.
1....
2.....
Kickout!
A look of frustration sets in on Havok's face. What else does he have to do?! LJ Havok looks at the top rope and slowly climbs it. Takes a look at the clock, then tries to go a little faster climbing it.
LJ Havok prepares himself. Perhaps for an elbow drop.
But he is met be El Rey! What agility! Well, expect nothing less from a jaguar.
El Rey and LJ trade punches on the top turnbuckle...
El Rey with a superplex!
Both men are down with time running out!
Taz: 45 clicks left! I don't think we're going to have a decisive winner here...
Both men are crawling to opposite corners. Both men are up. LJ Havok charges...
High knee shining wizard in the corner!
LJ Havok tries to follow it up with a bulldog...
But El Rey is able to shove him off! LJ Havoks momentum sends him back to his original corner, then he quickly charges back.
And is met by a flying clothesline from El Rey!
The clock ticks down...
3...
2...
1...
Buzzzzzzttt!
|
Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen this match has come to a conclusion. As a result of time limit, this match is a DRAW!
Loud boo's from the Hawiian crowd, who want to see a finish to this great match.
| 'The Party Song' by Emery starts playing briefly. |
Out comes Hunter Payne, who stays on the stage. He has a microphone in hand and begins to speak.
Payne: I think I speak for everyone here, when I say add 5 more minutes to that clock. It's overtime!
And just as quickly as he came, Hunter Payne went to the back. LJ Havok and El Rey look on from in the ring, but still in a daze. The match will continue.
Taz: Woah! That's huge!
DING! DING!
Both men being fatigued grab one another in an effort to gain an upper hand on the other. LJ Havok goes for a suplex, but it is blocked and El Rey counters with a suplex of his own! Now starting to build momentum, El Rey heads to the top rope to risk it all. El Rey waits for just the right moment...
SPEAR FROM THE TOP ROPE!
NO!
LJ Havok dodged it and grabbed the spearing arm on the way down and countered into a crossface!
JR: Crossface! Crossface! This could be all she wrote!
Time is running out... again...
Is El Rey going to tap? His hand is in the air!
Still in the air....
Still in the air....
It falls!
Referee picks his arm up to check conciousness.
It falls!
1!
Referee picks up the arm a second time...
It falls!
2!
Referee picks the arm up a third and final time...
El Rey with a sudden burst of life! He is able to roll LJ Havok over onto his back! His shoulders are down!
1....
2.....
Kickout!
Both men quick to their feet and LJ Havok catches El Rey with a soinning heel kick! Cover...
1....
2....
Kickout!
LJ runs to the corner. He waits for El Rey to get up...
SPEAR!
LEAPFROG!
El Rey with incredible athletic ability just leapfroged over Havok's spear! Both men turn around, duck down, and charge!
SPEAR!!!
Both men had the same thing in mind, a spear. And both just ended up headbutting each other hard! Both guys are down and out.
JR: 60 seconds left in overtime!
Both men crawl...
And crawl....
And crawl....
To opposite corners...
And pull themselves up....
Look at each other....
And charge again....
This time El Rey uses Havok's momentum against him, and catches him in an inside cradle!
1.....
2.....
Reversed!
LJ Havok flipped it around, now Rey's shoulders are down...
1......
2.......
Kickout!
Both men quick to their feet once again!
DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!!!
Both men catch each other with a clotheline...
3...
2...
1!..
Buuuzzzzzzzttt!!!!
|
| 'The Party Song' by Emery plays once again... |
Payne: Alright, no more overtime! this match is offically a draw! You two hurry up and get to the back! We're pressed for time now!
El Rey
LJ Havok
We see Joseph Kain and Ray Peterson enter Hunter Payne's general managers office.
Payne: Thank you for coming in. As you know, Ann Thraxx has fallen off the wagon, and now AJ Powell, I use AJ instead of Anthony because he has fallen off just like Ann Thraxx. So I called this very important meeting here to say that The Straight Edge Xtreme is still going strong.
See AJ's and Ann's problem, along with all the other former factions and even regular everyday drug addicts, is that they want it, and they want it all NOW. But see, I am a firm believer in "Good things come to those that wait." Unfortunatly, I guess I didn't explain to you guys when I got this little group together. SEX is in it for longevity, not a sudden impact, and until you guys realize that, you'll end up just like the other two quitters.
Let me shed some light on this by offering some examples...
The Black Circle...
Been around for over 10 years, and they are stronger than ever.
The Brotherhood...
Went for the sudden impact, lasted longer than usual, but crashed and burned.
Extreme Revolution...
Rookies that went for the huge impact early. BAM! Crashed and burned!
The Connection...
Very fast sudden impact, crashed and burned in record time!
The point I'm trying to get across is, don't get discouraged. We are destined for greatness! But if you are impatient and leave, you won't see the reward, and the reward will come in time.
But at the same time, if you truly want to leave SEX... There's the door! I'm not forcing anyone to stay.
See if we were a football team, Thraxx and Powell left when we were having trouble early in the season. Which is fine. They just won't be there when we win the Superbowl... so to speak.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to do my rounds to make sure none of our enlightened wrestlers brought drugs or alcohol. See you guys later.
Hunter Payne leaves his office to make rounds. Kain and Peterson stay in the room puzzled.
| 'Mt. Eden' by Sierra Leone plays |
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 217 pounds. From Los Angeles California. RODNEY TUNE!
Rodney Tune walks all around ringside, hi-fiving every fan along the way. Getting the fans to instantly like the rookie.
| Viscera's Theme Song begins to play |
Finkel: Next, his opponent, weighing in at 459 pounds! From Memphis, Tennessee. VISCERA!
The arena is stunned silent briefly by the presence of the scary Viscera. As the big man gets into the ring the crowd starts to get rowdy once again.
DING! DING!
Grapple by both men. Viscera overpowers Tune and pushes him hard. Rodney Tune flies all the way to the corner, but rebounds quickly with a running low dropkick. That drops Viscera down to one knee. Tune goes for his finisher Fine Tuned (Edgecution)...
But is shoved off by Viscera. Off the ropes goes Tune, spinning side slam by Viscera! Cover...
1...
2....
Kickout!
Viscera easily lifts Rodney Tune over his head... for a... Military Press Drop!
Taz: Ouch!
Viscera again, easily lifts Rodney Tune onto his shoulders for the Ghetto Drop...
But Tune slips out! And pulls down Viscera and goes for his submission, Tune Up (Crossface). Viscera is able to power out and ram Rodney Tune into the corner once! Twice! Thrice! Uhhh... Four! Five! SIX times! Until he releases what little hold he had on Viscera. Tune is now recovering from being smashed in the corner multiple times. Viscera goes to the other side of the ring and runs for a big splash in the corner!
JR: Oh my! This could be ugly!
Taz: Train wreck!
No! Tune moves out of the way. Viscera hits the corner. Rodney Tune jumps on a staggered Viscera's back for a rear naked choke. Viscera is struggling to breathe.
He's fading...
Fading...
Fading....
Fading.....
Fading.....
Down to one knee now!
Viscera is fading!
Viscera is back up on two feet! Out of desparation he falls backwards. Crushing Rodney Tune and breaking the hold! Both men attempting to regain the wind that was taken out of them. Rodney Tune recovers first, and climbs the nearest top turnbuckle. Viscera gets up, but it looks like he is out on his feet...
Missle Dropkick!
Oh my God! Viscera doesn't go down! He just falls back a few steps. Tune decides to try it again, and up to the top rope he goes.
Missle Dropkick!
Woah! Viscera falls back a few more steps and falls to one knee briefly before standing up dazed again. So Tune attempts it one more time! Up to the top turnbuckle...
Missle Dropkick!!!
BAM!
JR: That one takes the big man down!
Viscera falls like a ton of bricks. Definately one of those small memorable spots that the fans go crazy for. This was no different, these Hawaiian fans started going nuts at Goliath going down! Tune to capitalize with a pin attempt...
1....
2....
Kickout!
Wow. Viscera just threw Rodney Tune over his head as a kickout. Viscera is getting back up. Tune tries to keep him down by laying Haymakers to his head. It's not getting the job done. Tune runs off the ropes...
Caught by his throat by Viscera! Tune is hoisted up... Embalmer(Chokebomb)! Pin!
1....
2.....
Kickout!
Taz: Whew! Oh man!
JR: What heart shown by young Rodney Tune here!
Viscera slowly gets up. He runs off the ropes...
BIG SPLASH!
MISSED!
Rodney Tune was able to move out of the way. Viscera is bend down, favoring his chest and stomach after missing the big splash. Tune capitalizes!
FINE TUNED!!
(Edgecution)
It was a very sloppy Edgecution just because of Viscera's massive size. It looked more like a tilted DDT. After a few moments of using all his leg power to roll Viscera over. Tune covers...
1.....
2.....
Kickout!
JR: Barely! Just barely, Viscera stays alive! I thought Rodney Tune had it!
Tune looks up at the nearest turnbuckle. He has that look in his eye, he wants to fly sky high! Tune heads up to the top, but takes a long time in doing so. Is he going for his frog splash he calls In-Tune?
We will never know because Viscera is able to get up and body slam Tune off the top rope!
Tune lands hard on the mat. Viscera tries to capitalize. He goes off the ropes.
BIG SPLASH!
Connects! The enormous size of Viscera squashes Rodney Tune. Viscera just stays on top of Tune, whether on purpose or because of fatique it doesn't really matter because it is technically a cover.
1....
2....
3!
JR: Rondney Tune took Viscera to his absolute limit here tonight!
Taz: And the scary thing is they both still will compete in the battle royal tonight.
Rodney Tune:
Viscera:
Hunter Payne, Joseph Kain, and Ray Peterson walk back into Hunter Payne's General Manger's office to find Hunter's good friend Kevin Hart chillin' in there, with a beautiful Hula dancer (the one from the video earlier). Kevin is obviously spitting game at her. Plus, somehow Kevin hasn't noticed that SEX is in the room.
Kevin Hart: So you like dancing? Is that your thing?
Hula Dancer: Yep.
Kevin Hart: Well, allow me to introduce myself, as if you don't already know who I am. My name is Kevin Hart, babygirl. You see all this here. I own this shit here! All of it is mine!
Hunter coughs to let Kevin know that they are in the room.
Kevin Hart: Yo Hunt, wassup man?!
Kevin goes back to talking to the fine ass Hula dancer.
Kevin Hart: UHH... So anyway like I was sayin' I KNOW the nigga that owns all this shit here! So hey how about you and me get on up outta here. You like fruit? Have you ever had pineapple? They have the best pineapples here.
Hula Dancer: Yeah, I know I kinda live here... Anyway my boyfriend is waiting in the car, do you have our checks?
Kevin Hart: Boyfriend? That buff guy you were dancing with?
Hula Dancer: Yep.
Kevin Hart: I'm out. Hunt! Deal with her.
Hunter reaches into one of his desk drawers and pulls out two checks and hands them to the beautiful Hula dancer.
Hula Dancer: Thank you.
The Hula dancer exits. Kevin looks upset that is wasn't able to impress the hot Hula dancer.
Kevin Hart: Boyfriend! Pshh!
Payne: Kevin, welcome to my show!
Kevin Hart: Damn it Hunt, where's all the sex at?!
Payne: Excuse me?
Kevin Hart: Nigga, you invited me to your show. You said it was going to be a sex-filled show! Well, where's the sex?!
Payne: SEX stands for Straight Edge Xtreme. I think you misunderstood Kev.
Kevin Hart: Yeah, me and the 50,000 other people here tonight!
Payne: Sorry Kev.
Kevin Hart: So there's absolutely no sex to be had here?!
Payne: Well... I mean you can check Jenna Silver's locker room, and see if she's not too busy. Hahaha. Other than that... No not really.
Kevin Hart: Great, then that's who I'll find! I hope Jenna is ready... ready for this LONG DICK! Alright! Alright! Allrighhhtt!!!
Kevin Hart storms out, leaving only SEX in the office. Hunter sits down in his office chair.
Payne: Can you believe some people actually think he's funny?..
DING! DING!
Finkel: The following conest is a two out of three falls match. Where the first individual to score two pinfalls or submissions will be declared the victor.
| 'The World May Not Like Me' by Mike Angelo and The Idols plays. |
"The World May Not Like Me" by Mike Angelo and The Idols starts to play as the fans go nuts. Out walks Green holding a bottle of water. She opens it and takes a swig out of it. She spits the water back out onto the entrance ramp. She swings the open bottle of water spilling water everywhere. She then enters the ring as the fans continue chanting her name. Her music fades as she waits for her opponent.
Finkel: And her opponent...
| "Cockney Dream" by Chrispy plays over the loudspeakers |
Accompanied by the sound of an ominously familiar voice. The voice says what sounds like gibberish, until finally coming to a string of numbers. "One, Seven, Five, Six, Four, Three, Two, Eight...
Thirteen."
A sudden explosion of pyro hits everything, leaving a thick shadow of smoke behind in its inexplicable absence. One shadow stands out above the rest of the smoke however, a humanoid figure though scrawnier than most, especially in the world of professional wrestling. The figure steps out from behind the blanket of smoke and into the field of vision for the first time.
"Fear not! That burning smell is only a side effect!" The figure shouts to the crowd, without a microphone in hand. The smoke starts to fade away revealing that the stage is indeed on fire! Firefighters tend to the flame, putting it out with ease.
The figure nods and continues to the ring, the music still playing in the background. He slides under the bottom rope and stands up, wandering about the ring before coming to rest in one of the corners, staring the ref dead in the face.
"I, am Logic!"
The crowd erupts in three different expressions: angrily booing, fervently cheering, and with no reaction whatsoever! Logic appears to be unfazed however, still leaning against the corner.
Taz: Wow, how's that for an entrance! Is it hot in here?
JR: I haven't been around this much smoke since my last Oklahoma barbeque.
DING! DING!
The match begins with a simple, logical lock up...
Or so Allison Green thought!
Logic uses Green's momentum and pulls Green right into a falling jawbreaker, busting Green's mouth open immediately. Green wipes some blood from her mouth as Logic darts behind Green with lightning quick agility and lands a devastating elbow smash that sends Green stumbling away. Green turns just in time to receive ACT 1! (Flying Knee to the temple of a standing opponent)
Green goes down hard, blood gushing from the mouth as Logic covers...
...1
...2
...THREE!!!
The first fall is awarded to Logic, who is still pinning Allison Green! I guess there's no logical reason to actually release the pin if the opponent has given THIS little effort this week, right?
The ref shrugs and drops down again, beginning the new count!
...1
...2
...KICKOUT!!! How?!?!?! Even though it's early, the fans are literally rubbing their eyes to make sure they're seeing this correctly. Green has indeed kicked out of the second straight pinfall attempt!
Logic pulls Green up...
BUT GREEN REVERSES IT!
INTO AN IRISH WHIP!
While Logic is sent running and bouncing off the far ropes, Green uses this precious time to start badmouthing logic as well as all the fans! Holy shit!
CRASH!!! Green got so caught up in the moment that she forgot Logic was still in play, and just got smashed with some kind of leaping headbutt concoction that connected right with the bridge of Green's nose and has now busted her nose wide open. Blood is gushing from the nose AND mouth of Allison Green.
Logic starts delivering a few well placed, calculated knife edge chops that back Green up against the ropes. A few more basic chops, knees and elbows turn Allison Green into a completely dazed mess, giving Logic the chance to easily push Green into the ropes and let her bounce back into a full force roundhouse kick! Green is down! Blood is EVERYWHERE and still bubbling out of Green's nostrils and mouth like a damn volcano!
Logic stalks Green for a few seconds, waiting for Green to start getting back up...
A few more seconds and Logic is perfectly positioned... ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE! (aka Super Dragon's Psycho Driver I)
Logic with the cover!
...1
...2
...THREE!!!
JR: This match could have gone for twenty falls and it seems Allison Green would have been bested by Logic every single time!
Allison Green:
Logic:
Michael McBride:
Connor McBride:
- vs -
Marshall Cage:
Matthew Mitchell:
|
| "Come out Ye' Black and Tans" hits over the P.A. system. |
Finkel: The following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall! Entering first, The McBride Brothers!
The McBride Brother's emerge from the back, both with a determined look on their faces and ready to fight. They make their way to the ring to await their oddly-paired opponents..
| "Fight to Win" hits the PA system. |
Finkel: And their opponents, first, accompannied by Christine Kitana, Marshall Cage!
And Marshall Cage steps out onto the stage with Christie Kitana by his side. He slowly makes his way down the aisle not pandering to the crowd as much as he waits for his parter Matthew Mitchell.
There is a delay...
Marshall seems to be worried...
| And then the lights go out an green strobe lights flash as "Kill You" hits the PA system. |
Finkel: And his partner... Matthew Mitchell!
He comes out with both middle fingers held high yelling "Fuck You! Straight-Edge is for pussies!' He stops next to Marshall and they both stare each other down. They nod at one another and sprint into the ring and a brawl ensues. Matthew Mitchell throws Connor McBride over the top rope.
Then Marshall Cage and Matthew Mitchell go after Michael McBride only to be double clotheslined. Marshall rolls out of the ring and then the match is "officially" underway. The other two members are barked at by the referee to get in their respective corners.
The match starts out with a test of strength. Michael McBride is winning.. But then Matthew Mitchell goes low. While Michael is staggered Matthew bounces off the ropes and comes in with a flying lariat.
Michael McBride is down and slowly sits back up.. then a boot to the head by Mitchell. He follows up by stomping on his grounded opponent.. He goes in for a quick pin.
1...
Kickout!
It wasn't even close. Mitchell realizes he's going to have to do more to get the job done. He picks up Michael McBride and sets him up for a Rock Bottom, but Michael reverses it with elbows to the side of the head. Then a belly to belly suplex! Both men are down. Matthew is crawling towards his corner as Michael is slowly getting to his feet.
Marshall gets the tag and so does Connor!
Connor runs towards Marshall, Marshall falls to his back..
Monkey flip and it sends Connor flying across the ring. Marshall gets out of the ring and goes for a springboard senton, but Connor moves out of the way! Marshall goes crashing to the mat with a thud. And Connor, wasting little time, grabs Marshall's limp body and pulls him up into a sleeper hold.
This could be it..Marshall had already knocked the wind out of his body by missing that huge move. The referee starts checking Marshall.
He raises his arm...
1.....
2....
3....
4....
5....
6....
7....
8....
9...
NOPE!
Marshall Cage is holding on strong. He slowly makes his way to a vertical base, elbowing Connor in the midsection.
But it's all for nothing! Connor grabs Marshall by the hair of the head and hits him right in between the eyes and Marshall drops like a....well a sack of potatoes. Connor is visibly pissed, and he backs up into his corner. Michael tags himself in. He's moving slowly to the down Marshall.
Marshall jumps up quickly and catches Michael in the side of the head with a hug kick. Marshall hoists himself up on Michael's shoulders...Hurricanrana to the out side of the ring!
Marshall crawls back into the ring and stands up. He points to Michael McBride who is slowly getting up on the outside.
Marshall runs across the ring, bounces off of the ropes, and then back over the top rope with a 450 splash..Taking both him and Michael out for the time being.
The fans are on their feet...
Holy Shit!
Holy Shit!
Holy Shit!
Holy Shit!
This goes on for sometime as the men are stirring. Marshall is the first up, and he rolls into the ring and gives Matthew Mitchell a tag.
Matthew hops down off of the apron and goes after Michael, but he was waiting. Both men start trading blows on the outside of the ring. Michael gets an elbow in, and it staggers Matthew, and Michael McBride throws him into the ring.
Michael stands on the otherside of the ring, propping himself up on the ropes waiting for Matthew to get up.
Matthew is up to his feet. Michael comes in going for the Celtic Clothesline, but Matthew ducks and both bounce off opposing ropes. Michael catches Matthew with the Semtex Express.. The elbows keep coming.
Matthew is now bleeding from right above his left eye where he was catching the elbows.. Michael McBride gets up, and, Matthew rolls to his back to avoid being pinned quickly. Michael is signaling for the end. He grabs Matthew's leg possibly going for the Wicklock..
| Then "On Brave Mountains We Conquer" hits the PA system. |
Michael McBride drops Matthew's leg, walking to the side of the ring that is closest to the entrance area.
LJ Havok emerges from the back in a scene reminiscent of what happened on Warfare.
"Calm down, Michael. I didn't come out here to cause problems. I just wanted to see how much you excell in tag team action, considering we have a match together against the team you are facing now."
LJ keeps moving in closer. And Michael is screaming at LJ to leave.
"Don't be worried about me, silly. Worry about your opponent."
Matthew Mitchell rolls Michael McBride up in a school boy. The ref is in position, and has a going vision of Michael's shoulders.
Connor attempts to get into the ring, but LJ made his way to him and pulls him off of the apron, sending him to the ground with a thud...
Meanwhile in the ring, the ref was busy with the count and didn't see the interference...
1.....
2.....
3!!!!
| WINNERS: Marshall Cage and Matthew Mitchell |
LJ Havok was already making his way to the top of the ramp with a smile on his face. Marshall Cage and Matthew Mitchell also got the hell out of dodge.
The McBrides are now both in the ring arguing with the referee. And the referee says that he didn't see it. Michael looks towards LJ, not smiling. He wasn't showing any type of emotion. LJ still had a microphone.
"Hey. Sorry and shit."
LJ Havok drops the microphone and makes his way backstage.
Michael McBride:
Connor McBride:
Marshall Cage:
Matthew Mitchell:
We go backstage to see Steve Sayors running to catch up to Hunter Payne.
Sayors: Hunter?! Hunter, what has gotten into you tonight? Attacking Joy, Changing the bra and panties match we were all looking forward to, and just being an all around jerk. What's going on?
Payne: Hey Steve!... Who invited you here?... But seriously, you want to know why I've been acting the way I'm acting? Maybe because it's not an act Steve! Wrap your brain around that. Maybe Hunter Payne was tired of being pushed around by the Joy's of the world? Or just maybe Hunter Payne is just tired of pandering to a bunch of fickle idiots?
Maybe... But do you know what it really is Steve?
The fact that I loved inflicting Payne on the bitch of a ex-girlfriend, and it was definately time to stop entertaining these "fans". Ugh! Entertain "the fans" Who will backstab you faster than the these co-workers will! One minute they cheer your name! Then when someone more popular comes along you get booed! And speaking of these co-workers, oh man... All I hear "Oh Hunter Payne is so nice!" "Such a cool guy!", but when comes time to putting down your alcoholic drinks and your cigarettes for a cause, that's when "Oh Hunter Payne is crazy!" "He needs help, what a weirdo!" Why? Because 98% of the locker room can't keep the bottle out of their fucking mouths for just one day! But I'm the one that needs help. Yeah, that makes sense.
Sayors: Uhh..
Payne: I am the best technical wrestler in the fed! Countless opponents of mine have said it. In promos where they were supposed to be bashing me by the way! Well now I'm saying it, I am the best technician here! And I'll be happy to prove that every Monday Night on Madness... After I take time off to shoot my movie of course. Yeah I'm going to be an actor now. So the XWF and it's fanbase can suck it. This is the new me.
And if I have to "the bad guy" from now on to get my point across, so be it! Because it sure as hell wasn't working out for the good guy, was it Steve? Anymore dumbass questions?
Sayors: Just one, tonight we could have seen Mr. Supernova vs Hunter Payne, but you rejected. Why?
Payne: Oh, did you want to see Hunter Payne vs Supernova Steve?.. Did you fans out there want to see me vs Supernova?... Too bad! Quite simple answer. No.
Sayors: Why?
Payne: He's not ready to face me yet... Now if we are done here?
Sayors: Yeah.
Payne: Great...
Hunter suddenly kicks Steve Sayors and throws him hard against the nearest wall. Steve also hits some nearby production crew things. Hunter then yells at a very hurt Steve Sayors.
Payne: Bottom line is, the Hunter Payne of yesterday is gone! This is the new me! So Sit back, shut up, and enjoy the ride!
DING DING!
Finkel: The following contest is the Bra and Panties match!
Taz: Oh boy! Oh boy! I can't wait!
| 'What Love Is' begins to play |
Finkel: First, from Los Angeles, California. JENNA SILVER!
Jenna Silver comes out to lots of encouragement from that Hawaii crowd. She is wearing more clothes than usual and you can tell she is very uncomfortable with all that extra fabric covering her naturally revealing skin.
![[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRU0g8d1IvthxIAsKfc8-3...9_6Yzjm3Gw]](https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRU0g8d1IvthxIAsKfc8-3g4jvIEWdbnv3f_iuQjju_9_6Yzjm3Gw)
| 'This Is War' by 30 Seconds to Mars plays |
Finkel: And her opponent, from St. Louis, Missouri. LIZ HATHAWAY!
Liz Hathaway enters the arena and wastes no time going straight to ring. She is hungry for Jenna Silver.
![[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSg87lD_-DbeerS8Vy2VHy...0A8rI7FTAg]](https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSg87lD_-DbeerS8Vy2VHyj18VpbCIojVrFaRu1ikhm0A8rI7FTAg)
JR: We are about to have a match that will not end until one of these women is stripped from their clothing.
Taz: I know! I cant wait!
As both females wait in the ring for the bell to sound...
| 'Use Somebody' by Kings of Leon hits. |
JR: What's this now?
Hunter Payne comes out with a microphone and stays on the stage like he did earlier.
Payne: So after giving it some thought, I've decided tonight is going to be more... 'Traditional' in a sense. Meaning, I'm changing the stipulation of the match!
Loud boo's can be heard from every guy, as we wanted to see a bra and panties match. After some loud boo's Hunter finally responds.
Payne: There are children watching you deviants! This match is now a one fall standard match. Ring the bell.
DING! DING!
Jenna Silver
- vs -
Liz Hathaway
|
Loud boo's are still heard throughout the arena. These fans are still really upset that these women are keeping their clothes on.
JR: This two are starting to become bitter rivals in the ring.
Taz: And from what I hear, lovers outside of it.
JR: What is Jenna Silver doing?
Jenna Silver attempts to appease the fans by stripping down to her usual ring attire. A sports bra and short shorts. The crowd cheers for it. But Liz Hathaway has none of it as she quickly attacks Silver after the strip down. Hathaway continues to beat down Jenna Silver with stomps and kicks until she falls under the bottom rope to the ringside floor.
1....
2....
Hathaway runs off the far ropes....
3.....
Jenny Silver is up....
4.....
Suicide Dive by Hathaway!
Now both females are down. The count restarts...
1....
2.....
Hathaway is back up.
3....
She pulls Jenna Silver by her long red hair and throws her back into the ring. Hathaway climbs up on the ring apron. Jenna Silver quickly jolts back up and runs towards Hathaway...
Silver hits a running butt bump on Hathaway, causing her to fall off the ring apron awkwardly. Hathaway quick to her feet. Now Silver is the one running off the ropes...
Baseball Slide!
With her heels on too! Hathaway took a hard shot to the face.
Taz: Ouch. Nothing pretty about that!
Silver slides out of the ring and follows her onslaught with a huge DDt on the rough padded floor!
1....
2....
Silver throws Hathaway back into the ring. Cover by Silver...
1....
2....
Kickout!
Silver drags Hathaway over to the bottom turnbuckle, then runs over to the other side of the ring.
Bronco Buster!
Nobody home! Liz able to move out of the way. Both women are down.
Both are getting up at the same pace...
Both are up...
But Liz immediately cuts Jenna back down with a leg sweep. Then a dropkick to the back of the head. Liz with a powerslam! Then she heads to the top turnbuckle.
LIZSANITY!
MISSED!
Silver moved just in the nick of time! Which now gives her time to recover.
Both females now slowly but surely are up to their vertical bases...
Bitch slap by Jenna Silver!
Bitch slap by Liz Hathaway!
Bitch slap by Jenna Silver!
Bitch slap by Liz Hathaway!
Bitch slap by Jenna Silver!
Bitch slap by Liz Hathaway!
Bitch slap by Jenna Silver!
Bitch slap by Liz Hathaway!
Bitch slap by Jenna Silver!
Bitch slap by Liz Hathaway!
Back and forth these two exchange bitch slaps! Both refusing to stay down. Red marks start to get redder because of the intensity of the slaps. All of a sudden Jenna Silver breaks the cycle with a quick vagina punch! Steps back... and hits a superkick! Cover!
1....
2....
Kickout!
Jenna Silver lock in a headlock and places Hathaway's arm over her head and goes for a suplex!... But Liz tries to wiggle off while in the air, and does!... And she lands on her feet. Liz goes for Thank Me Later (Twist of Fate)!
No! Midway through Jenna pushes her off and into the ropes. Hathaway rebounds back, and meets a hard kick to get from Silver. Jenna Silver now for her Long Kiss Goodnight (Spinning Roundhouse Kick)!
No! Now Liz Hathaway counters by ducking the kick, then grabbing Jenna Silver from behind and hitting her Thank Me Later out of nowhere! Pin cover...
1....
2.....
3!
DING DING!
Jenna Silver:
Liz Hathaway:
JR: Just like that Liz Hathaway ties up the series between these two this week. They are now 1-1.
Taz: We definately need a rubber match in the near future.
We are back in Hunter Payne's office. He is sitting down in his gm chair right now. As he is on a very important phone call right now.
Payne: Yeah...
Wait what?...
Oh okay....
Ray Peterson whispers over to Joseph Kain.
Peterson: I think he's talking to Lil' Jon.
Payne: Yeah!!!
I'll take it!
Alright, thank you for the gig and I'll see you soon.
Hunter clicks the button on his phone to end the call.
Kain: Who was that?
Payne: That was my agent. He just booked me for a lead in the next Zorro movie! Hell yeah! I'm going to be a movie star!
Peterson: Wow! Congrats!
Payne: This is great! This could be the start of something huge!
"The Simpsons" Theme song goes off in the room. It's Hunter's cell phone again. He quickly answers the call like the movie star he will soon be should.
Payne: Talk to me...
Uh-huh...
Uh-huh....
No! We can't have that!
Alright... Lates...
Hunter presses the button on his phone again, ending the second call. Now Hunter stands up out of his chair.
Payne: Apparently, we have someone who has entered the arena clearly intoxicated, and has an excess of alcohol on their person. So, I need you two to go down to the North side of the arena and clear the distrubance, and by that I mean utterly destroy them! As for me, I have to go own to the ring because I got a surprise for these participants in the battle royal.
SEX leaves the office and goes their seperate ways, two go on a disturbance call and the other goes to the ring.
Ursula Areano
- vs -
Steve Davids
|
| "Weight of the World" by Evanescene begins to play |
And out steps Ursula Areano from beyond the curtain. The crowd here in Honolulu, Hawaii break out into a mixture of cheers and boos for the lovely Argentinian. She walks down the ramp and acknowledges a few of the fans here today with high fives. She slides into the ring with a grace of ease and awaits the monster that is her opponent.
| "Hello Zepp" by Charles Clouser begins to play |
With thunderous force here in Honolulu, that is sends the crowd into a frenzy of cheers. After a few minutes we see Steve Davids making his way through the crowd with a trash can full of weapons in tow. Security follows Steve and forces a clear path for him to the ring. He sits the trash-can down over the barricade and hops over the barricade himself. He picks up the trash can and throws it inside the ring. The weapons scatter everywhere as Ursula is tempting Davids to come in.
Davids slides into the ring and Ursula goes on the attack as the ref motions for the bell, making this Xtreme-Rules match underway. Ursula mounts Steve and unleashes with a furry of MMA like strikes but Steve pushes her off. He grabs a kendo stick that was in the trash can and goes to swing it like he is Alex Rodriguez at home plate. Ursula ducks the shots and runs off the ropes. She jumps up and tries a cross-body but Steve catches her and slams her down back first on the trash can.
The fans explode into cheers as Davids makes the cover.
1
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
KICKOUT!
Steve signals for his finisher "Game Over" (Praying Mantis Bomb). He goes to pick up Ursula and land it but Ursula is able to fight out and give Steve a low blow for his efforts. Ursula picks up a chair and lays it prone. She picks up another and lays it in adjacent to it. She picks up Steve and gives him a DDT through both chairs with a sickening THUD that can be heard through the island of Hawaii. The fans break out a small chant of "Holy Shit" as Ursula goes to the top rope.
She quickly comes flying off with one her finishers "Death from Above" (Shooting Star Leg-drop) and lands it right dead center on Davids. She goes for the cover....
1
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
2 1/2
Steve kicks out right at the nick of time to cheers from the crowd. Steve and Ursula slowly make it to their feet. Ursula goes for a spinning back fist but Steve catches her fist and hits her hard with a huge elbow to the jaw that sends her down. Steve slides out of the ring and pulls out a table from under-neath to a explosion of cheers from the XWF nation. He slides it back in and sets it up in the center of the ring. He picks up Ursula and delivers a HUGE choke-slam sending her crashing through the table. Steve goes for the cover...
1
.
.
.
Steve brings her hand up, just toying with her now, wanting to inflict more punishment. He throws her outside the ring like a rag-doll and follows in suit. He picks her up and goes to whip her into the barricade but she puts the brakes on. He goes to whip her again but she reverses it sending Steve crashing into the cold hard steel. She goes under the ring and pulls out what looks to be a crowbar. She awaits for Davids to get back up. He staggers around and is met with a crowbar shot to the skull. She holds the crowbar up into the air like a savage and lets out a primal yell to a mixture of cheers and boos from the crowd.
She slides Steve in and goes for the pin, maybe this will do it.
1
.
.
.
.
KICKOUT!
Steve sends her flying up into the air as he kicks out with strength. The blood starts to slowly trickle away from his head as he turns into a madman at the sight of his blood. He picks up the kendo stick and awaits for Ursula to get back up to her feet. Ursula gets up and turns around to a wicked shot to the skull of the kendo stick. He begins to mercifully hit her with shot after shot by the stick. The welts begin to show on her back from the punishment. Steve exits the ring and brings in the steel stairs. He positions them in the center of the ring and motions that this is it.
He picks up Ursula and it's ..."Game Over" (Praying Mantis Bomb) right onto the cold hard steel steps. The fans break out into cheers as Steve makes the pin....
1
.
.
.
.
.
2
.
.
.
.
.
3!
Steve Davids:
Ursula Areano:
JR: What a slobberknocker! When we come back the Battle Royal Main Event!
Battle Royal Energy Standings:
Logic:
Steve Davids:
Connor McBride
Matthew Mitchell:
Marshall Cage:
Viscera:
Rodney Tune:
Michael McBride:
LJ Havok:
El Rey:
Liz Hathaway:
Jenna Silver:
Allison Green:
Ursula Areano:
|
Finkel: The following contest is The Battle Royal! Where the winner will recieve a title match against the Xtreme Champion!
The ring gets cleaned up as Steve Davids and Ursula Areano stay in the ring, being the unfortunate wrestlers that have to compete in back to back matches.
Each wrestler comes out to their theme music for about 10 seconds before the next guy gets his 10 seconds. All the way until the ring fills up with the 14 participants.
JR: A lot on the line here. A shot at the Xtreme Championship. But who do you go for? Do you go for the freshest guy probably in Logic, or do you go for the biggest guy in Viscera?
Taz: I don't know but we are about to find out...
DING! DING! DING!
Here we go, and the competitors decided to go after the unstoppable Logic. Except Michael McBride. He go right after LJ Havok after their confrontation earlier.
Each man taking their shots at Logic. Logic is taking a beating for coming in the freshest man. After a few minutes of beatdown, the crowd of wrestlers finally dissipate. We see the McBrides and El Rey triple teaming LJ Havok.
JR: LJ Havok doesn't have a friend in the world right now.
Steve Davids and Rondney Tune are going at it in the corner. Only to get smashed by Viscera. Vis begins the beatdown.
Marshall Cage and Matthew Mitchell and going back and forth attacing Liz Hathway and Jenna Silver
After a few minutes with nobody having a a clear advantage. Logic is back up! Unfortunately, Ursula Areano just happens to be nearby. Logic grabs her, and easily throws her over the top rope!
| Ursula Areano is Eliminated! |
After taking a big boot from Rodney Tune, Allison Green falls backward into Logic... Logic grabs her and tosses her over the top rope!
| Allison Green is Eliminated! |
Viscera knocks down Rodney Tune from behind. Now everyone seems to be fighting in a corner. Except Viscera and Logic. These two lock horns! Viscera overpowers Logic and shoves him away. Logic rolls off the mat back to his feet and charges with ACT I (High flying knee to the temple). Viscera takes about 10 steps backwards into the ropes.
Taz: Woah!
Logic runs and hits another ACT I! Viscera is teetering! All of a sudden the 7 other wrestlers gang rush Viscera! All of them trying to get him over the top rope!...
And they do!!!
JR: That's huge! The big man is gone!
Now the others go back to brawling. Liz Hathaway is battling Marshall Cage. Jenna Silver is battling
Matthew Mitchell. Jenna Silver and Liz Hathaway actually working as a team here. The two females are cleaning house. Cage, Mitchell, Davids, Tune, and Logic all one by one are getting double teamed! But none of them have been thrown over yet by the female duo.
Meanwhile, LJ Havok got away from his three on one attack and low blows El Rey. Then throws him over!
NO!
El Rey is skinning the cat.
But LJ Havok notices...
But Michael McBride pulls Havok around and punches him with a hard right hand!
LJ Havok falls into El Rey's legs halfway up from skinning the cat... El Rey rana's Havok over the tope rope and to the floor!
El Rey is right back where he started. Can he skin the cat twice?
No he can't! LJ Havok pulls down his leg! Effectively eliminating El Rey!
JR: Oh come on! That's not right!
El Rey and Havok begin battling outside the ring after that. As we look in the ring at the remaining competitors.
Battle Royal Energy Standings:
Logic:
Steve Davids:
Connor McBride
Matthew Mitchell:
Michael McBride:
Marshall Cage:
Rodney Tune:
Liz Hathaway:
Jenna Silver:
|
Logically, Logic goes after the biggest threat right now Steve Davids. Liz and Jenna's duo finally met their match with the McBride Brothers. As Hathaway and Silver get isolated. Mitchell and Cage briefly double team Rodney Tune.
Jenna Silver looks like she has turned the tables on Connor McBride. She is about to Eliminate him...
Michael from behind! Grabs Jenna Silver and ends up throwing her out!
| Jenna Silver is Eliminated! |
Hathaway in a fit of rage. Low blows both McBrides! Then dropkicks for both of them! Liz is starting to feel it!
Just then Matthew Mitchell comes out of nowhere and clotheslines liz and himself over the top rope... but both land on the apron!
Liz Hathaway with a low blow on the apron to Matthew Mitchell! Ouch! Mitchell is about to fall off!
SUPERKICK!
Superkick by Marshall Cage on Liz Hathaway! She falls off the ring apron and to the floor. She is gone!
| Liz Hathaway is Eliminated! |
Just when you think Matthew Mitchell is safe... BAM! He gets shoved off the apron by Rodney Tune!
| Matthew Mitchell is Eliminated! |
Somehow how taking the most part of the beating, Steve Davids managed to get away from Logic and is desimating Connor McBride. Michael would help but him and Cage are going at it on the other side of the ring. Tune has monumental task of trying to throw out Logic. He is quite impressive but Logic still has the upperhand.
DDT by Michael McBride on Marshall Cage! Now McBride goes over to try and help his brother. Michael McBride and Steve Davids trade punches! Steve Davids gets the upperhand! He has Michael McBride reeling on the ropes!...
Connor McBride!
Attacks Steve Davids! But Davids is able to throw him over the top rope... But Conner McBride lands on the apron.
HUGE BIG BOOT!
By Steve Davids knocking Connor McBride off the apron and out of conciousness.
| Connor McBride is Eliminated! |
Davids kicked him so hard, his kicking leg went over the top rope... Michael McBride from behind! Finishing the job and and getting Steve Davids other leg up and over the tope rope and to the floor. Shocking. Steve Davids is eliminated!
| Steve Davids is Eliminated! |
Then there were four! Logic. Tune. McBride. And Cage.
Then...
| 'Use Somebody' starts to play |
JR: What is this?
Hunter Payne sprints down to ringside in wrestling gear and pulls Howard Finkel aside to speak to him. After an incignito conversation 'The Fink' grabs his microphone to speak, and Hunter slithers into the ring after these guys have beaten the hell out of each other.
Finkel: Ladies and Gentlemen, making the late final entry... Hunter Payne!
Hunter Payne:
JR: What?!
Taz: Well it is his show...
Marshall Cage turns around to meet Hunter Payne...
Hunter tosses Cage over the top rope!
| Marshall Cage is Eliminated! |
Rodney Tune is next! As he gets a few good punches in on Hunter Payne. Which the fans went nuts for, but eventually Hunter with a kick downstairs on Tune, then a clotheline on the ropes would eliminate him.
| Rodney Tune is Eliminated! |
Hunter with a huge Grinch-like grin on his face now...
ACT I by Logic!!!
OH SHIT! Hunter goes down! He never saw it coming! And everybody loved it. Logic now needs to capitalize!
He It picks up Hunter Payne by the head to irish throw him over.
BUT it's reversed!
Hunter throws Logic over the tope rope and to the floor! Wow!
JR: Logic goes out the window and over the top rope!
Hunter thinks he has won, but he turns around and gets attacked by an exhausted Michael McBride. Hunter eventually kicks him and tosses him overboard!
McBride is thrown out!
NO!
McBride is dangling under the bottom rope for dear life! Hunter doesn't notice! Michael McBride rolls back into the ring. Hunter jumps up and down in celebration!
Taz: Uhh Hunter...
JR: Payne hasn't realized he didn't win yet!
Hunter Payne turns around and notices McBride is in the ring, trying to use the ropes to get up to a vertical base... and does!
Hunter charges...
CLOTHESLINE!
DUCKED!
MCBRIDE PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE!!!
HUNTER GOES OVER!!!!
JR: By God! McBride did it! Michael McBride is the number one contender for Peter Gilmour's Xtreme Championship!
"WHAT THE FUCK?!!!" can be heard from the nosebleed seats. Hunter Payne can't believe it! McBride exits the ring and celebrates in the warming embrace of the Hawaiian crowd.
JR: That's right Hunter! You put all the odds in your favor tonight! And you still came up short!
Hunter Payne runs back into the ring, grabs a microphone, and yells...
Payne: NO! NO! This is MY show! And I WILL NOT have it end like this! I refuse to let an alcoholic ruin MY show! Call everybody back right now, and get this battle royal restarted!... I'm serious! This show isn't over! Not by a long shot!... Not by a lo....
JR: OH MY GOD!
Stone Cold! Stone Cold Steve Austin is at Straight Edge Shove It!
A thunderous ovation for the Texas Rattlesnake! Hunter looks like he seen a ghost. He speaks into the microphone as Stone Cold makes his way down to the ring.
Payne: NO! No this is not WWE!
![[Image: stone+cold+steve+austin.JPG]](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_oqs5j5nVCIA/SiF80BPlT-I/AAAAAAAAJ0E/BiWQgp96WMQ/s400/stone+cold+steve+austin.JPG)
JR: I don't believe what I'm seeing!
Stone Cold Steve Austin with a small cooler in hand, gets in the ring and poses in each corner to an absolutely outragous ovation! Grabs a microphone and has a stand off with Hunter Payne. This is going to be good!
Payne: Well, well, well, look who it is! The greatest wrestling alcoholic in history! Hey, last time I checked Hawaii isn't the location for your "Redneck Island". What a dumb show. And this certainly isn't World Wrestling Entertainment! These people may be "Star Struck" by your precence, but I'm not! So why don't you just apoligize to me, get your tail between your legs, and GET OUT of MY ring! Because in case you haven't heard, there is no alcohol in my arena! So there is no reason why you, of all people should be here!... Goodbye!
Stone Cold just stares off into the crowd for most of Hunter Payne's speech, completely ignoring everything he said. So it should come to no one's surprise what Austin says next.
Stone Cold: ... What?
Hunter Payne gets extremely agitated. He starts pacing around the ring as the crowd laughs at him.
Payne: Don't "what" me! Don't you dare....
Now the everybody in Aloha Stadium gets into it. Making Hunter go even more crazy!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Now Hunter yells into random directions of the crowd.
Payne: Don't...
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: Stop!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: Shut up!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: I hate you people!...
Crowd: WHAT?!
Hunter runs over to Austin pointing his index finger at him to blame him.
Payne: See what you did?!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: This is all your fault!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: Why are you even here?!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Stone Cold: Well... I heard there was an alcohol shortage here... and being the generous guy that I am...
JR: Ha!
Stone Cold: I've decided to bring the alcohol to you...
Stone Cold points to his cooler, obviously there is beer in there for him to drink.
Stone Cold: So if y'all want to see a beer bash, gimmie a HELL YEAAHHH!!!!
Crowd: HELL YEAH!!!
Payne: Hell no!!!
Austin looks surprised at Hunter Payne's answer, as it immediately catches him off guard.
Stone Cold: What?!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: No beer!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: No wine!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: No whiskey!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Stone Cold: So you're a tequila man I see.
Payne: NO! No tequila!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: No rum!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: No gin!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Payne: No alcohol. Period!
Crowd: WHAT?!
Hunter Payne kicks the nearest bottom turnbuckle in frustration. Then gets in Stone Cold's face. This could be bad for Hunter.
Payne: You think this is funny?! You... You... You alcoholic!
Stone Cold: Alright, calm down. You seem angry.
Crowd: WHAT?!
Stone Cold: Are you angry?
Crowd: WHAT?!
Stone Cold: Upset?
Crowd: WHAT?!
Stone Cold: Pissed off?
Crowd: WHAT?!
Stone Cold: Well I got just the answer for ya!
Stone Cold reaches into his mini-cooler gets out three beers before dropping the cooler carelessly to the mat. He then cracks two of them open and hands one to Hunter Payne before opening the third beer.
Stone Cold: There's a Steveweiser to calm you down. Cheers!
Austin bangs one of his beers with Hunters, causing it to splash all over Hunter Payne, as he now looks at himself in discust after being drenched in toxic.
After Stone Cold downs his beers. He looks over at Hunter Payne to see he hasn't touched his beer.
Stone Cold: Is there a problem?
Hunter Payne chuckles, turns his beer upside down, and proceeds to dump out all the beer on the ring mat. Stone Cold looks on confused. Hunter crushes the can in his hand and throws it down to the floor.
Taz: I'm guessing that's not meant for his dead homies.
JR: Is Hunter Payne really refusing to drink a beer with Stone Cold Steve Austin?!
Stone Cold jokingly replies to what he just saw.
Stone Cold: Was it too warm for you son? I think I might have a colder one in the cooler.
Stone Cold Steve Austin reaches for the cooler, but is stopped by Hunter Payne's hand in the stop motion. After a few seconds it changes to the middle finger.
JR: OH MY!
Taz: Does this kid have a deathwish?
Stone Cold laughs it off before returning the favor with the double one finger salute as well. Hunter takes offense. Looks like he is going to walk away but runs back and charges at Steve Austin with a punch.
DUCKED!
Austin with a kick to the gut!
STUNNER!!!
JR: STONE COLD STUNNER!
Hunter Payne is stunned out of his boots, so to speak. To a standing ovation by Aloha Stadium. Stone Cold grabs the microphone and speaks to a defeated Hunter Payne.
Stone Cold: And that's the bottom line! 'Cause Stone Cold said so!
Austin grabs more beers to drink out of his mini-cooler as "Glass Shatters" plays us off.
JR: On a rockous night in Hawaii! We all thought Hunter Payne would walk out number one contender for the Xtreme Champion, but he was not able to seize the oppurtunity!
Taz: But to his credit, he did recieve a Stone Cold Stunner for his Straight Edge troubles.
JR: Something tells me he would have been Stunned either way... I am Jim Ross, this is Taz, wishing you all a goodnight from Aloha Stadium!
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