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Tony Santos · (12-23-2013)

Hey, McBride! I've been watching some of your stuff lately, and I have to say, something just doesn't seem right. Things are just a bit... off. Odd. Not authentic.

See, I was sitting in my local KFC this afternoon... and let me tell you, they really don't know how to even get pretend Southern cooking right around here in Miami..., there's like, plantain pieces mixed in with the fucking steak fries, salsa incorporated in their Famous Bowls, and even, dare I say it, fucking avocados and sour cream as side dishes for your fucking fried chicken! Avocado and sour cream!!!

But I digress. I was at my local KFC this afternoon, and as I was picking the plantain pieces out of my french fries, I noticed something... wrong. I dug through the basket of fries and Mexican dick fruit, and I noticed a discoloration on one of my fries. Something that was clearly spoiled. I was disgusted, so I poked my fingers through the fry pit and pulled that sucker out with the precision that only one of those steel claws at the AMC theater could dream of... or maybe not, considering that it doesn't want you to win. But either way! I lifted that fry's corpse from the rubble and brought it to my face. I examined it for a moment, and, it has the typical brown coating that comes with seasoning and a good deep fry, and I watched the salt glisten from its body. However, beneath that false exterior were gooey bits of green and blue. Disgusting! How does this even happen with a processed potato?! I was outraged.

Outraged!

I stormed up to the counter and dropped that sucker on, well, whatever that fucking material is that makes up those cookie cutter counters, which are blatantly colored and treated so as to look sanitary. The cashier looked down at the fry, then at me, his dopey, GED-lacking Haitian brain unable to understand my outrage. I pointed at the finger, and yelled, with all of my rage and might...

"My potato is moldy and could have killed me! I want my money back, as well as a free bucket of chicken! No pissy little nuggets, either. I want the best cut you have! You know, the stuff you sell for the premium price of $5 a bucket at this pocerty-addled joint. Now!

His response?

Jorge! Hey, Jorge! I found yo' thumb!

I was livid! LIVID! Those minimum wage wetbacks... is that the right terminology for them? Probably not... whatever! Those sons of bitches managed to lose a thumb and thought nothing to check their products. The fact that he managed to slip his thumb in to a fucking vat of french fries, fries that are kept in frozen bag up until mere minutes of being cooked, makes it even more astounding! How did this happen? How could he not have noticed this after losing a fucking piece of his body?! Why was I less offended by this than the fact that there were chopped plantains in my fries?!

I DON'T KNOW!

But what I do know, is that everything about this experience was phony. From the plantains, to the salsa, to the delicious avocado and sour cream (I gave in), to the fact that no worker had an inkling of an idea as to what Kentucky was, let alone the roots of their own company.

Phony, like your accent. It's gone, isn't it, Michael? Gone like the wind. Gone like raYne on a sunny day.

I've watched your stuff, and I've noticed your lack of an Irish accent. Where'd it go, McBride? Back to fucking Dublin? Was it lost after you got toasted on Irish car bombs, only to get smacked around by a bouncer with a vendetta against stupid fucks who he can't comprehend? What happened? I feel like you're pulling a good ol' god damn repeat of this infamous incident...

And I don't like it. I don't like your phony behavior. Not one fucking bit. You're as rotten as a moldy potato thumb. Admit your devious ways. Admit that you tried to carve a niche for yourself in this company to reach the top, only to fail, and realize that, shit, I show this much of a lack of effort in the ring, I might as well fucking give up on this stupid ass schtick as well! Admit your ways, and then go suck on ESP's tits some more for beating you.

Fuck you, Michael McBride. Fuck you and your resemblance to a dead, human thumb.

Jessie-ica Diaz · **12-22-2013, 03:24 PM**

And here we also see video proof of Santos' failed internship with the WWE, broadcasted by him personally! Thanks Tony, way to make yourself look like more of an ass than you usually do, you drunk son of a bitch.

Tony Santos · **12-22-2013, 03:34 PM**

(12-22-2013, 03:24 PM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said: And here we also see video proof of Santos' failed internship with the WWE, broadcasted by him personally! Thanks Tony, way to make yourself look like more of an ass than you usually do, you drunk son of a bitch.

This failed intern also happens to own one of your two losses, so go sit yourself down and have a nice, inflammatory roundtable with your many other personalities, Diaz, while I, um, continue to drink? Well, sure, that's probably all that I'll do. Just remember that you lost to an alcoholic with gorgeous hair. Remind the other friends in your head of the same.

Tony Santos · **12-22-2013, 03:42 PM**

(12-22-2013, 03:25 PM)Michael McBride Said: "Oh lad, the fact that you're paying so much attention to me, puts a smile on me face. You must have some sort of crush on me. That's okay, everyone loves the Irish, and yes Tony. I am Irish. I'm just so damn good, I can talk in many accents, but don't let that fool you fella. I am full blooded Irish and proud of it. Oh do tell us why were you in a WWE ring? Did you forget where you work? Or did your "break" cause you to lose your mind? Were you so bored that you had to go to The WWE and play ass tag with John Cena? That's a shame. How the mighty have fallen, a damn shame."

Ah, the "you're gay" defense, eh? Are you afraid of me having a crush on you, lad? You think I'll make your precious, Irish pooper a little too happy? Or that I'll stomp down hard on those baby cajones in full on sadistic glory? Hey, it might be good for you, boyo. I could permanently turn you in to a squealing pig fit for the dirty pen you'd be better off rolling around in, rather than, you know, pretending to be a serious contender to anything in particular.

As for my tenure in WWE? I played ass tag with John, alright. I unfortunately became a bit too vicarious and decided to take a shot at a kinky lil' game of reach around. He liked it a little too much, and unfortunately, his repressed feelings for men with long hair were too much to handle, forcing him to have me fired from the company so he could boink a Bella and disregard his wife, thus feeling like a testerone-filled MAN in the process.

I regret nothing. You should regret existing.

Jessie-ica Diaz · **12-22-2013, 03:47 PM**

(12-22-2013, 03:34 PM)Tony Santos Said:
(12-22-2013, 03:24 PM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said: And here we also see video proof of Santos' failed internship with the WWE, broadcasted by him personally! Thanks Tony, way to make yourself look like more of an ass than you usually do, you drunk son of a bitch.

This failed intern also happens to own one of your two losses, so go sit yourself down and have a nice, inflammatory roundtable with your many other personalities, Diaz, while I, um, continue to drink? Well, sure, that's probably all that I'll do. Just remember that you lost to an alcoholic with gorgeous hair. Remind the other friends in your head of the same.

I also lost to a fucking moron who doesn't understand the difference between Schizophrenia and Dissociative Identity Disorder, don't forget about that one, Tony. However, let's look ahead for a moment, shall we?

"Oh no! Don't do that, because as of late, I've been one big fucking disappointment!"

Here's what Tony Santos is doing lately in one word: losing.

He lost twice at Lethal Lottery, sealing in stone the fact that everyone already knew: Espie was carrying him to victory.

Too bad, so sad.

Meanwhile, I've held a title longer than twelve days.

Yeah, that's still funny.

Tony Santos · **12-22-2013, 04:05 PM**

(12-22-2013, 03:47 PM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:
(12-22-2013, 03:34 PM)Tony Santos Said:
(12-22-2013, 03:24 PM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said: And here we also see video proof of Santos' failed internship with the WWE, broadcasted by him personally! Thanks Tony, way to make yourself look like more of an ass than you usually do, you drunk son of a bitch.

This failed intern also happens to own one of your two losses, so go sit yourself down and have a nice, inflammatory roundtable with your many other personalities, Diaz, while I, um, continue to drink? Well, sure, that's probably all that I'll do. Just remember that you lost to an alcoholic with gorgeous hair. Remind the other friends in your head of the same.

I also lost to a fucking moron who doesn't understand the difference between Schizophrenia and Dissociative Identity Disorder, don't forget about that one, Tony. However, let's look ahead for a moment, shall we?

"Oh no! Don't do that, because as of late, I've been one big fucking disappointment!"

Here's what Tony Santos is doing lately in one word: losing.

He lost twice at Lethal Lottery, sealing in stone the fact that everyone already knew: Espie was carrying him to victory.

Too bad, so sad.

Meanwhile, I've held a title longer than twelve days.

Yeah, that's still funny.

It's funny, Jessie girl...

Oh, a fucking Rick Springfield attack is coming on...

She throws out a bunch of mental disorder teminology, then insults me for apparently getting it wrong. Ha! I'm a drunk, but you're still the one with the permanently fucked wiring in that brain of yours. Like a hack repair job that no therapy could possibly fix. You keep on keepin' on, Jessie...ica...? I'll keep on imbibing, waking up every morning with a clear head and the ability to realize that I didn't fall to a drunk with an inability to avoid the bar before a match. You'll just spend the first 20 minutes making coffee for each of your "family members."

It's also funny that you talk about title reigns, since, well, ESP carried you to that Trios victory while you continue to be more concerned with what happens in the XWF in the nights in between the actual events.

As I mentioned, you just keep on keepin' on, Diaz. Now, take it in tight for a big ol' group hug.

Jessie-ica Diaz · **12-22-2013, 04:16 PM**

(12-22-2013, 04:05 PM)Tony Santos Said:
(12-22-2013, 03:47 PM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:
(12-22-2013, 03:34 PM)Tony Santos Said: This failed intern also happens to own one of your two losses, so go sit yourself down and have a nice, inflammatory roundtable with your many other personalities, Diaz, while I, um, continue to drink? Well, sure, that's probably all that I'll do. Just remember that you lost to an alcoholic with gorgeous hair. Remind the other friends in your head of the same.

I also lost to a fucking moron who doesn't understand the difference between Schizophrenia and Dissociative Identity Disorder, don't forget about that one, Tony. However, let's look ahead for a moment, shall we?

"Oh no! Don't do that, because as of late, I've been one big fucking disappointment!"

Here's what Tony Santos is doing lately in one word: losing.

He lost twice at Lethal Lottery, sealing in stone the fact that everyone already knew: Espie was carrying him to victory.

Too bad, so sad.

Meanwhile, I've held a title longer than twelve days.

Yeah, that's still funny.

It's funny, Jessie girl...

Oh, a fucking Rick Springfield attack is coming on...

She throws out a bunch of mental disorder teminology, then insults me for apparently getting it wrong. Ha! I'm a drunk, but you're still the one with the permanently fucked wiring in that brain of yours. Like a hack repair job that no therapy could possibly fix. You keep on keepin' on, Jessie...ica...? I'll keep on imbibing, waking up every morning with a clear head and the ability to realize that I didn't fall to a drunk with an inability to avoid the bar before a match. You'll just spend the first 20 minutes making coffee for each of your "family members."

It's also funny that you talk about title reigns, since, well, ESP carried you to that Trios victory while you continue to be more concerned with what happens in the XWF in the nights in between the actual events.

As I mentioned, you just keep on keepin' on, Diaz. Now, take it in tight for a big ol' group hug.

Espie did what? Need I remind you, like I did to that fucking

you've spent time calling out on the basis of you getting used to an accent to the point of no longer recognizing it distinctly anymore, that I was the one who won that match for my team? Yeah, the only time Espie's been the one who didn't pick up the victory herself, it was because I tossed Mystica from the ladder and pulled the belts down myself.

Very much unlike you.

You, the guy who got his head thrown into a shit filled toilet at the hands of a psycho and his druggie little helper? Yukking it up about how I merely lost a match to someone like you? Hey pot, this is kettle calling to tell you to shut the fuck up because you have no ground to stand on.

Oh, but since I have DID (or because you're a fucking moron and facts confuse you, Schizophrenia), you're always gonna have that over me. I may be fucked in the head, but you're a fucking imbecile.

Tony Santos · **12-22-2013, 05:00 PM**

(12-22-2013, 04:16 PM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:
(12-22-2013, 04:05 PM)Tony Santos Said:
(12-22-2013, 03:47 PM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said: I also lost to a fucking moron who doesn't understand the difference between Schizophrenia and Dissociative Identity Disorder, don't forget about that one, Tony. However, let's look ahead for a moment, shall we?

"Oh no! Don't do that, because as of late, I've been one big fucking disappointment!"

Here's what Tony Santos is doing lately in one word: losing.

He lost twice at Lethal Lottery, sealing in stone the fact that everyone already knew: Espie was carrying him to victory.

Too bad, so sad.

Meanwhile, I've held a title longer than twelve days.

Yeah, that's still funny.

It's funny, Jessie girl...

Oh, a fucking Rick Springfield attack is coming on...

She throws out a bunch of mental disorder teminology, then insults me for apparently getting it wrong. Ha! I'm a drunk, but you're still the one with the permanently fucked wiring in that brain of yours. Like a hack repair job that no therapy could possibly fix. You keep on keepin' on, Jessie...ica...? I'll keep on imbibing, waking up every morning with a clear head and the ability to realize that I didn't fall to a drunk with an inability to avoid the bar before a match. You'll just spend the first 20 minutes making coffee for each of your "family members."

It's also funny that you talk about title reigns, since, well, ESP carried you to that Trios victory while you continue to be more concerned with what happens in the XWF in the nights in between the actual events.

As I mentioned, you just keep on keepin' on, Diaz. Now, take it in tight for a big ol' group hug.

Espie did what? Need I remind you, like I did to that fucking you've spent time calling out on the basis of you getting used to an accent to the point of no longer recognizing it distinctly anymore, that I was the one who won that match for my team? Yeah, the only time Espie's been the one who didn't pick up the victory herself, it was because I tossed Mystica from the ladder and pulled the belts down myself.

Very much unlike you.

You, the guy who got his head thrown into a shit filled toilet at the hands of a psycho and his druggie little helper? Yukking it up about how I merely lost a match to someone like you? Hey pot, this is kettle calling to tell you to shut the fuck up because you have no ground to stand on.

Oh, but since I have DID (or because you're a fucking moron and facts confuse you, Schizophrenia), you're always gonna have that over me. I may be fucked in the head, but you're a fucking imbecile.

So, wait, winning a ladder match by being the opportune teammate at the top of the ladder means you weren't carried? Don't get me wrong, you threw down Mystica to get the win. Bravo, Madam Diaz. Bravo! But, and shall I not forget, you had the ESP as your partner, as well as the budding Tri Bute. You had the forces working with you, Jessie. You managed to make your way up that ladder and down Mystica. Again, bravo.

But your delusion behind who really made that victory possible is just as poor as that "pot, meet kettle" insult that you love to throw at anyone who runs in to your verbal jabs is used up.

Heh, you can give it all you have, babe. Run your mouth about what's happened to me. Run your mouth about who I am and what my habits have led me to. Your song will always remain the same. And you'll always still have a nice old doughnut in your win column against me, Diaz. Always.

And yes, your wracked noggin will always put you a step below me... along with the fact that you can't beat me.

Mwah!

Jessie-ica Diaz · **12-22-2013, 05:20 PM**

(12-22-2013, 05:00 PM)Tony Santos Said:
(12-22-2013, 04:16 PM)Jessie-ica Diaz Said:
(12-22-2013, 04:05 PM)Tony Santos Said: It's funny, Jessie girl...

Oh, a fucking Rick Springfield attack is coming on...

She throws out a bunch of mental disorder teminology, then insults me for apparently getting it wrong. Ha! I'm a drunk, but you're still the one with the permanently fucked wiring in that brain of yours. Like a hack repair job that no therapy could possibly fix. You keep on keepin' on, Jessie...ica...? I'll keep on imbibing, waking up every morning with a clear head and the ability to realize that I didn't fall to a drunk with an inability to avoid the bar before a match. You'll just spend the first 20 minutes making coffee for each of your "family members."

It's also funny that you talk about title reigns, since, well, ESP carried you to that Trios victory while you continue to be more concerned with what happens in the XWF in the nights in between the actual events.

As I mentioned, you just keep on keepin' on, Diaz. Now, take it in tight for a big ol' group hug.

Espie did what? Need I remind you, like I did to that fucking you've spent time calling out on the basis of you getting used to an accent to the point of no longer recognizing it distinctly anymore, that I was the one who won that match for my team? Yeah, the only time Espie's been the one who didn't pick up the victory herself, it was because I tossed Mystica from the ladder and pulled the belts down myself.

Very much unlike you.

You, the guy who got his head thrown into a shit filled toilet at the hands of a psycho and his druggie little helper? Yukking it up about how I merely lost a match to someone like you? Hey pot, this is kettle calling to tell you to shut the fuck up because you have no ground to stand on.

Oh, but since I have DID (or because you're a fucking moron and facts confuse you, Schizophrenia), you're always gonna have that over me. I may be fucked in the head, but you're a fucking imbecile.

So, wait, winning a ladder match by being the opportune teammate at the top of the ladder means you weren't carried? Don't get me wrong, you threw down Mystica to get the win. Bravo, Madam Diaz. Bravo! But, and shall I not forget, you had the ESP as your partner, as well as the budding Tri Bute. You had the forces working with you, Jessie. You managed to make your way up that ladder and down Mystica. Again, bravo.

But your delusion behind who really made that victory possible is just as poor as that "pot, meet kettle" insult that you love to throw at anyone who runs in to your verbal jabs is used up.

Heh, you can give it all you have, babe. Run your mouth about what's happened to me. Run your mouth about who I am and what my habits have led me to. Your song will always remain the same. And you'll always still have a nice old doughnut in your win column against me, Diaz. Always.

And yes, your wracked noggin will always put you a step below me... along with the fact that you can't beat me.

Mwah!

Is this the point when Santos realizes that if he goes any further, he'll end up with his dick in his hand so he's going to cut straight to the condescending "bottom lines" in an attempt to wrap this up quick? Oh, it is. Great!

Look at who really made that victory? I don't know if you know this, seeing as though you're the biggest idiot this side of the fucking Great Salt Lake, but the rules of a ladder match very clearly state "The winner is the one who climbs the ladder and pulls down whatever is suspended above the ring is the winner." Because of this, I can honestly, factually say I won the match for my team. However, what I did not say is that I carried my team, which is what you were implying.

We all carried our own weight because unlike a team that has your carcass on it, there is no weak links, no dead weight. I'm sorry for that misunderstanding.

"The fact that I can't beat you"? Don't delude yourself, princess.

Seriously, all you had to do was say one god damned declarative sentence without coming across like a complete and utter moron and you can't even do that right!

The fact that I didn't beat you would be right, but since you say I can't beat you, why don't we have a rematch?

Oh wait, you'll cower out because you can't afford to lose your single, solitary talking point over me. Silly me! Should've saw that one coming!

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