It's because I had a team once. A team with the best training, the best equipment, and despite everything that they had that made them the best: they still lied, stole, and tore each other to pieces. So you tell me; how the hell am I supposed to trust a ragtag team of idiots, when I couldn't even trust the people that were closest to me? - Agent Carolina

"Come on Luca, you don't have to do this," Nova's voice rang through the phone, the damaged speaker making his words fuzzy and his subsequent silence drowns the chapel in a sea of static.

"Oh, is it that simple? Just - don't?" The sound of his pacing feet shuffling across the carpeted floor accompanies his response. Gripping the side of his face in on his hand, he drags the tips of his fingers downward until they reach his clavicle, and pulls away.

"Yes. It is that simple. You know you don't want to do this."

"Oh, do I now? Is that really what I'm thinking, or is that what you want me to think? If it's really that big of a deal to you, why don't you just teleport on in where I am and drag me out? Huh?!"

"I'm not going to do that. You're an adult and can make your own decisions."

"Oh, so you don't really care, is that it? Thank you for being fucking honest."

"God dammit, Luca. What is it you want? Do you want me to come over there and drag you out or something?"

"I just want to hear some fucking honesty. I'm surrounded by bullshit and lies every second of every day, and I need something to let me know what's real, and what's fake. Is that too much to ask for?"

"Here's some honesty: that's what everyone deals with. There, better?"

"Why? Why is that? C'mon, answer me. Use the vast knowledge you have from space to tell me why everyone is such a bullshit artist, and why we're all sucked into the same traps?"

"You think there's an answer for that?"

"I do." His voice by this point was nothing more than a choked out whisper, holding back sobs and trying desperately to wipe the tears from his eyes. In silence, he stared at the phone laid on the ground, its light the only thing shining in the empty room.

"You think you'll find the answer?"

"That's why I'm here, aren't I?"

Nova sighs, breathing heavily into his end of the phone. "I guess. I just, nevermind."

"You just what?"

"I just; if I can't get you to change your mind, I want to know why you're doing it. Why you want to know that so badly. Why you're so willing to give up everything, just to ask questions that you'll never be sure were answered fully. Why?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because, I'm your friend, frienemy, whatever the hell you want to call it. Whether you want to know this or not; I do actually care about you."

"Bullshit."

"Huh?"

"That's bullshit, and you know it."

"Why do you have such a problem believing that people actually do care about you?"

Momentary silence. With tears running down both cheeks, Luca clenches his fists and grits his teeth, before erupting in a sob, mouth wide open, open palms pressed against the floor.

"Did, did I ever tell you about Victoria?" The confrontational tone in his voice drops out, leaving only a weak, whimper.

"You've mentioned her once, I think. Your fiance, right?"

"She was. But, she wasn't the only one. There were a group of 'em. Four. I loved them, I loved them all and I fucking mean it. Then, one of them died. We had a falling out. Even before that though, we were lying to each other, doing all sorts of shit that only benefited one person, and I was just as guilty of doing it. We fucking broke apart after the first one's death.

I left. I told Heiman to fuck himself.

Then, the three that were left turned their backs on me. Victoria included.

They were too focused on being loyal to Jeffery fucking Heiman, to even notice that what I was saying was right. It was all a set up. Heiman was behind Jonathan's death.

They couldn't see it, or maybe they just didn't want to.

Those, were the people I cared about. They ripped my fucking heart out and stomped it into the fucking dirt. They left me with nothing.

I loved them all, god dammit!

I, I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with one of them. But the fucked up part is this: I'm not angry with them. I can't be. They're all gone now. And despite what they did to me, the only thing I could wish for would be them all back again. Just so we could sit around some table somewhere and shoot the shit for hours without caring about the time.

Without counting down the hours until my liver fails on me and leaves me to drown in a puddle of my own bloody vomit. Back then, I didn't drink.

Then I found another group. I infiltrated their ranks, and won their trust. They were different. They all cared about each other, and never worked against themselves.

I sold them out.

In that moment, I understood where they were coming from; the original group, that is. They threw me under the bus for their own safety.

I wish they hadn't, but I can't change the past.

So, you expect me to believe that the group of people I trusted with my life at the end of the day couldn't give a damn about me, but you do?

Is that what you're getting at?"

"L-Luca?"

Click. Turning the phone upside down and setting it to silent, Luca remains on his knees, facing the stained glass window at the front of the chapel.

"Hey, God?

I know, it's been a long while. And I didn't exactly break into this place with the intention of praying, but if you are real, can you hear me out?

None of them are in Heaven, I know, but I want to tell them; Nari, Kyle, Victoria, that I forgive them. I know why they did it, and that if they're down there, begging for my forgiveness, that I do.

It wasn't all their fault.

I guess, I gotta start taking some of the blame, huh?

And for that, I guess I want to apologize to them too. All of them, Jonny included. Especially Jonny. He should've never got involved, but he tried to help me. I should be the one rotting six feet in the ground right now, not him.

I'm, I'm sorry, buddy."

With a sigh, he wipes the last of the tears from his eyes and cheeks, and picks up the phone. Looking down at the cracked screen, he swallows his pride and calls back the only one who was willing to hear him out.

No answer. After the tone, Luca leaves his message:

"Hey, Nova. I'm not going through with it. Can you come get me, though? It's a bit of a long walk."