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~~Egyptian Snow Pharaoh~~ · (11-23-2013)

When your touch can graze the entire Earth.

When your will can be carried out by an unstoppable force.

When nothing is out of your reach. When the entire world is yours — Paris to San Francisco... Detroit to Warszawa... Moscow to Mexico... Osio to New Delhi... Vienna to Ankara...

Let's walk into a plain white room with a table in the center. Let's observe Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's unconscious, naked body strapped down to that table and a series of red wires coming out of her nostrils. The wires are connected to some kind of large, black device that resembles a cable box. There are a few buttons and a few lights blinking on the face of the box, and an LED screen that says "buffering..." A much thicker black wire is coming out of the other end of that box and connected to a square monitor about the size of the monitors you'd see on any commentators' table. The message on the black box switches from "buffering" to "D-r-2u" and the monitor flickers to life. Colors swirl and static fades in and out as a Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's body twitches a few times on top of the table. After some time, the image on that monitor begins to take shape. It continues to flicker and is rather blurry but after a few more seconds it becomes obvious we're looking at a man sitting in a chair somewhere.

Am I coming in ok? Can you see me ok? Oh, not entirely but you can hear my voice? Splendid.

Now... before you ask who I am or what I'm doing, I believe you'd be best suited to ask where I've been and how far my reach extends. For the sake of keeping things simple, I will invent a name for you to attach to me in your minds — Hello you, I'm Chuck... It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance.

You're here for answers about the mystery that is Egyptian Snow Pharaoh and I'm here to give you them, but that raises the question of why I'm speaking to you through this device that's plugged into Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's brain instead of meeting with you in person? Well, to that I say this: 'Existence Boundaries' ...What do I mean? Quite simple; we can't exist at the same time in the same place, you and I. If you're one of the people looking at me through a screen, it means you don't exist to me. You can't exist in my world. The fact that I'm even addressing you when you don't exist is something that could easily get me thrown in a straight jacket and stuffed into a padded room, so I do hope you'll understand if I have to cut away abruptly at any point.

Now, since all of you are creations by existing entities in my world, there really is no need for you to communicate to me — I already am well aware of every question you could and do have because I am capable of viewing those thoughts before they even become a part of your consciousness. Understand? Not entirely but enough to accept it? Excellent. Let's move on and begin with one of my personal favorites: "Why is Egyptian Snow Pharaoh in the XWF, where did she come from, and who is really in control of her?" That's actually a question that covers a series of inquiries... in fact, to know the full answer here would almost cover everything there is to know about her.

Why is she in the XWF? Why did this female warrior arrive on the scene late September? That's the easiest part of all... it's because her masters put her here. I'm only going to explain this once, so pay attention.

When Egyptian Snow Pharaoh came to the XWF, it was at the command of an organization that specializes in bizarre human experiments. Her "masters" were simply the head scientists of that organization, and they had been fed an order from their superiors that called for a perfect female weapon to be tested out in an extreme combat environment. Long story short; the scientists of this secretive organization brought in Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's body out of a collection of around five hundred experimental beings. They selected her out of the hundreds because she was by far the most physically attractive by a male, heterosexual human's standards. Even I can't tell you if Egyptian Snow Pharaoh was one day human, but I can guarantee you the beast they've programmed and sent into the fray of the X-Treme is far from anything you'd be able to call a person. She is a weapon. She isn't even a she — ESP is Weapon, might be the more fitting terminology under these circumstances. She isn't "a" weapon... she isn't a normal woman... she isn't going to become a weapon. She. Is. Weapon.

Have I established Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's purpose? I've also made it clear that her original "masters" were simply a couple or scientists who were taking orders from above. Or so they thought. When their superiors discovered what was happening, they ordered an immediate stop to this experiment and that triggered something within Egyptian Snow Pharaoh that I can only classify as divine. She "awoke" from her sedated resting place on their cold steel table, ripped the wires off of her naked breasts and proceeded to slaughter her very own masters. Those two scientists had no idea what was happening or why... Egyptian Snow Pharaoh herself begged and pleaded... with herself while committing some of the most heinous acts that have ever been done to take a human's life in torturous fashion. She begged and asked for help as her body flawlessly executed its command — a command I had given her directly.

How could she do this to her masters? Well... Do any of you recall the brief time Egyptian Snow Pharaoh spent in the company of Dr. Zero? Her "masters" had actually come up with the plan of contracting Dr. Zero directly. As scientists, they had heard stories of his astounding accomplishments and they knew he was the only one who could assist them in gaining a more refined control over Egyptian Snow Pharaoh so they no longer would need to bring her into the lab and perform maintenance. Them coming up with that idea is something that was always meant to happen. Many things were always going to happen. In fact, if you looked down at time from above like I do, you'd see that everything already has happened. You'd even see everything that almost happened, but that's not the point here. The point is that Egyptian Snow Pharaoh was altered by Dr. Zero in such a way that she's been transformed into the perfect glove for my hand. Those scientists who were Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's "masters" were operating off of phony orders. Those phony orders led to their superiors calling for an immediate end to Egyptian Snow Pharaoh just seconds before she had awoken and slain those unfortunate scientists. Those poor puppets had already succeeding in granting my direct access to Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's controls. I am behind those false orders being given. I was the reason Egyptian Snow Pharaoh was forced to do something even she couldn't understand at the time. I am the lucky bloke who has since introduced myself to Egyptian Snow Pharaoh directly so that she can finally understand I'm her only master.

Remember E-Money? He temporary believed he was Egyptian Snow Pharaoh's master but do you know what he really was? The rebound guy. That temporary piece of putty between real relationships. When Egyptian Snow Pharaoh frantically exited the secret lab of those scientists after slaughtering them, she ended up... oddly enough... in the fucking ghetto. I was still having some trouble adjusting to my newly acquired way of sending her commands, so the first joker she runs into on the streets ends up becoming her temporary master. E-Money felt like he had won the lottery when he realized this crazy, blood soaked woman in the street was actually responding to his commands. He had been arguing on his cell phone with somebody and yelled "you better sit down for this" before really telling them off, but he noticed out of the corner of his eye a woman actually sit down on the sidewalk when he said that. When he finally got off the phone, he approached her and the rest is history... He began using Egyptian Snow Pharaoh to rob liquor stores, jewelry stores, and other various crimes that attracted the attention of a man named Detective Lieutenant James Boulder — the man who eventually would beat E-Money to near death. This prompted Egyptian Snow Pharaoh to calculate E-Money's chances of survival being so low that she took it upon herself to finish the job and murder him with a crowbar through the skull. Goodbye E-Money.

Once E-Money was out of the picture, it presented an opportunity for me to introduce myself to Egyptian Snow Pharaoh. To keep things simple, I opted to do so in what you'd probably call a dream. She retreated to a hotel room that night in a very confused state, so I manipulated the walls of her mind into a game show. I took her into a world in which she would be auctioned off on Jerry Springsprong's very own show, "Who Wants a Slave?" The plan was for the contestants to run through a few rounds of competition with each other and then I'd walk out as the surprise entry and claim her as mine. Instead, her mind allowed something else to happen and a character I didn't account for—Dr. Hero—was thrown into the mix. If you were to look at that game show as a program I installed in her brain, then I'd call Dr. Hero some kind of "hack" or virus from an outside source. I had no choice but to stand back, powerless, and watch as this Dr. Hero took control of Egyptian Snow Pharaoh after freezing the other characters on the show. This pigeon headed intruder then took Egyptian Snow Pharaoh to his own laboratory where he claims to have extracted the precise coordinates of parts unknown... a claim I have much doubt for. Regardless, Dr. Hero felt he was finished with Egyptian Snow Pharaoh immediately after acquiring whatever information he extracted, so he sent her off and gave her a command... He ordered her to be her own master.

Hello, opportunity — My name is Chuck.

Moments after Egyptian Snow Pharaoh had fled from Dr. Hero's location, she was welcomed home. Isn't it magical how all it took was her obeying Dr. Hero's last command? Without knowing it, the intruder has done me quite the favor. Egyptian Snow Pharaoh is now her own master... because when she looks into that mirror, the Pharaoh on the other side is an extension of my own will.

The monitor flickers and then goes to instant static as Egyptian Snow Pharaoh begins to convulse on top of that table. White, frothy discharge starts to bubble out of her mouth as her body shakes violently, still strapped down to the table. A red light at the head of the table begins flashing rapidly as an elderly dark skinned man wearing a loin cloth walks over and pushes a button on the black box between Pharaoh and the monitor. The bald, wrinkled old man resembles one of the apparent servants of Egyptian Snow Pharaoh — she was surrounded by them for her first week in the XWF but there haven't been many sightings of them since. The man presses a few more buttons on the black box and then uses a small hose like a vacuum and inserts it into her mouth to suck up the foamy liquid so she doesn't choke on her back. Her body starts to twitch a little slower and then finally stops moving altogether as the red light on the table stops flashing. The old man pulls the hose back out of her mouth and pushes another few buttons on the black box before saying, "??? ?????? ????? ????" — In other words, his mumblings are partially inaudible and don't resemble any language that can easily be identified. For this reason we must simply assume he told us to come back later because we've barely even seen the tip of this iceberg...

Was it really all meant to be?

Can it all already be?

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