Just behind the black-and-green curtains at the top of the entrance ramp, behind the stage, an XWF camera crew stumbles upon Madness’s favourite overlord, Paul Heyman and his protégé, LJ Havok. Havok is anxiously bouncing back and forth on his feet, biting the nails of one hand. Beside him, Heyman seems lost in thought, with his hand cradling his chin as his eyes gaze off into space.
LJ HAVOK: “What the hell do you think he meant by ‘magic trick,’ Paul? I mean, what could he possibly—“
PAUL HEYMAN: “Calm down, Lee. It’s all under control.”
LJ HAVOK: “Under control? Eldred’s the one who booked this match! If it weren’t for him, I’d be sitting back and waiting out the Lethal Lottery Pay Per View at home! But now I have to tackle Duke for the second damn time!”
Heyman holds up a hand, signaling Havok to stop talking. His dream-like gaze finally breaks, and he closes his eyes before opening them and flashing Havok a confidant grin.
PAUL HEYMAN: “Don’t you worry about Duke, bud. I have this whoooole thing under control. Tonight, you show Duke why YOU have a title shot at Lethal Lottery and HE has nothing but a fake crown on his head! Eldred might have his magic tricks, but Paul Heyman never goes out on stage without a few cards up his sleeve. It’s all about the illusion, Lee.”
JOEY STYLES: “Sounds like Heyman has a plan. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing…”
| “Evil Ways” by Blues Saraceno plays. |
JOEY STYLES: “The Lord of Darkness, making his way down to the ring, led by Asmodeus and followed by several of his acolytes, bearing torches. They’ve surrounded the ring…and it doesn’t look like they’ll be leaving any time soon. Duke’s been involved in some questionable acts lately, but he’s been dead-set on LJ Havok’s destruction.”
| “On Brave Mountains We Conquer” by Silverstein plays. |
JOEY STYLES: “And here’s LJ Havok – one of two contenders for Mr. Supernova’s Television Title – escorted by Paul Heyman. Havok’s probably right in saying he should be resting up for the Pay Per View, but his hands are tied here. One-on-one! LJ Havok vs. Sebastian Duke! Round Two!”
Sebastian Duke
- vs -
LJ Havok
Standard Rules
|
Havok and Heyman awkwardly walk through a line of Duke’s hooded followers, keeping their eyes on them at all times. Inside the ring, Duke gives a confidant smirk. Havok is forced to leave Heyman with the acolytes at ringside. Humorously, Heyman eyes one of the robed figures, as if studying the fabric of the robe itself.
With Havok inside the ropes, the ref signals for the bell, and Duke marches forward at Havok. But LJ doesn’t want to start yet, and steps halfway out of the ropes, forcing the ref to order Duke to back off. Duke complies, but it was all a trick, as Havok quickly lurches back inside the ring and throws a leaping forearm at Duke, who is pushed backward slightly…but only slightly. He fires back with a ballistic throat thrust!
Havok is staggered, and fumbles over to the ropes again, sputtering. Duke is on him, however, and grabs Havok by his beard. Havok quickly fends off Duke with some sharp kicks to the side of Duke’s left leg, causing the dark one to release LJ. Havok then takes the offensive with a series of European uppercuts. He finishes this combo with a scoop slam on Duke – no easy feat, as Duke has a good half-foot and 50 lbs over Havok!
Havok bounces off the ropes and hits Duke with a leg drop and goes for an early pin!
1
…
Duke violently shoves Havok off, causing the Savior to fall off balance. Duke manages to get to his feet first, and hits a running big boot to the back of Havok’s head! Duke pulls Havok up by his hair and lifts the bearded one up onto his shoulder. He rushes at the corner and tosses LJ! Snake-eyes! Havok’s face smacks the turnbuckle, and he turns around just in time to receive a backbreaker from Duke, who holds Havok there in a backbreaker submission!
Duke bends Havok in half, and Havok flails around despaerately! Duke’s a bit too strong to just force his way out of this! Suddenly, Havok pulls his leg free and whips his knee up into Duke’s temple!
JOEY STYLES: “A sickening sound emerging from that contact! Duke must be seeing stars!”
Havok wriggles away from the kneeling Duke and hits a shining wizard! Havok’s knee once more makes contact with Duke’s temple! Duke drops, and Havok covers!
1
…
2
…
Kick-out from Duke! Havok keeps up the effort, locking Duke in a sleeper hold, hoping to wear out the self-proclaimed king.
But Duke is not one to be kept down, and forces his way onto his feet with Havok’s arm still wrapped around his neck. Duke reaches to his side, picks Havok up by the waist, and drops him with a sidewalk slam! Duke wipes the sweat from his forehead and suddenly wraps both hands around Havok’s throat! Double-handed choke! The ref counts for a DQ!
1
2
3
4
Duke releases a millisecond before 5. Rising to a standing position, Duke whips his hair back and chuckles at the fallen Havok. He reaches down and once more wraps his hand about Havok’s throat, but this time, instead of a choke, Duke lifts Havok up into the air and tosses him down with a double-handed sit-out chokeslam! Right into the pin!
1
…
2
…
Havok kicks-out! Duke is unamused by this, and drags Havok over to the corner by his foot. Duke stomps on Havok’s abdomen a few times before elevating himself to sit atop the turnbuckle. He gives a quick thumbs-down motion, and leaps off for a legdrop!
Havok rolls under the protection of the turnbuckle, and Duke slams ass-first into the canvas! Havok takes a chance, and leaps over the seated Duke, catching him with a bulldog! Duke flops backwards into a lying position. Both men are down, and the ref begins a count!
1
2
3
4
5
6
Havok gets to his feet, and carefully eyes the fallen Duke. LJ turns to Heyman and gives a thumbs up of reassurance to his mentor, who nods back approvingly. Duke sits up, and Havok charges!
Running knee to the face of Sebastian Duke! Havok gives a cry of effort as his knee slams into Duke’s cheekbone! He then jumps up to the second turnbuckle and bounces off with a reverse splash! The pin!
1
…
2
…
Duke tosses Havok off! But Havok’s not letting up now! He hits an elbow drop onto Duke’s neck, and suddenly locks in a Koji clutch! Duke grunts and wrinkles his face in discomfort, reaching out toward the nearby ropes with a massive hand…
Reaching…
Almost….
He grabs the rope! Havok keeps the hold locked in for a 4 count, letting it go just before the ref’s 5.
Havok grabs Duke by the arm and pulls the big man to his feet. Havok then whips Duke, but Duke spins and reverses the move, sending Havok flying for the corner with a strong Irish whip! Duke takes a running start in chase, but Havok steals a bit from the Matrix and runs up the turnbuckle pads before leaping backwards onto duke with a whisper in the wind! The two slam into the mat and lie motionless aside from heavy breathing for a moment. Havok crawls over to Duke and covers him!
1
…
2
…
Kick-out from Sebastian Duke! Havok rolls off of the dark one, looking exhausted.
JOEY STYLES: “That whisper in the wind might have taken equally out of both Duke
and LJ Havok!”
Havok rolls over to the ropes and begins pulling himself up with its aid. Duke lies face-up, eyes staring up at the TD Garden’s ceiling lights. Havok takes in a few deep breaths, and waits…
Duke slooooowly sits up…
He gets up onto one knee…
He’s crouched on wobbly legs…
And now, he’s upright! Havok charges, and Duke turns…
Flash side slam! Duke used Havok’s own momentum against him! What a counter! Duke sits upright next to the fallen Havok, panting with a huge scowl across his face. He rises onto two feet and awaits Havok’s eventual recovery with greedy, evil eyes. He raises one hand into the air, and the crowd goes wild! They know what’s coming! When Havok finally struggles onto his knees, Duke approaches and wraps his massive hand around Havok’s throat! He lifts LJ into the air by his neck!
And LJ counters the chokeslam with a massive DDT! Duke’s head slams into the mat as his legs splay up into the air, accidentally catching the ref’s chin on their way up! The black-and-white shirt goes flying and tumbles through the ropes before dropping violently onto the floor, utterly unconscious.
On the outside, Heyman sees his opportunity and pulls something out of his jacket! It’s a titanium, handheld crowbar! He slides it into the ring, and Havok crawls over on his hands and knees to snatch it up!
Suddenly, there comes a sea of mixed cheers and boos as the crowd suddenly looks to the entrance ramp. It’s Morgan Eldred with microphone in hand, a broad smile painted across his stony face! He lifts the mic to his mouth and says, quite simply:
MORGAN ELDRED: “Chaos reigns. Abra…cadabra.”
The curtains shift, and out steps…
JOEY STYLES: “John Austin! It’s John Austin with a steel chair! Probably looking to do some damage to his Lethal Lottery competition!”
Austin, whose smile matches Eldred’s, walks over and shakes the co-GM’s hand. Eldred nods and him and does a sweeping bow as he extends his open-palmed hand towards the ring, as if to say “after you.” Austin smacks the entrance ramp twice with the steel chair and begins trotting toward the ring in a light jog.
But he is intercepted just outside the squared circle by Paul Heyman, who stands between him and LJ Havok. Austin tries to shove Heyman out of the way, but the Madness Emperor smirks and places his left hand on Austin’s chest to halt the man’s advance. Heyman’s left hand then makes a sweeping gesture before pointing back up at the stage.
The curtain shifts once more, and out steps a behemoth.
Brock Lesnar.
The beast incarnate makes a fake jab at Eldred, who doesn’t flinch. Lesnar is nevertheless amused and does his little bouncy-bouncy dance before marching down toward the ring. He’s met at the bottom of the ramp by Austin, and the two begin to brawl as Lesnar forces Austin to drop the chair with some punches to the head. From behind the fight, Heyman smiles smugly back up at Eldred, who seems unfazed. The Brit simply raises his hands with fingers outstretched, and, with a bored, almost expectant expression, slowly counts down…
5
4
3
2
1
There comes a massive movement of the curtain, as though an entire hive of bees were rattling around behind it. Then, not one, but two figures emerge from behind the curtain, shoving one another begrudgingly to get a better view of the ring.
The McBride siblings – Michael and Connor, emerge, shouting swears down towards Lesnar, who is still engaged in bitter battle with Austin. Michael takes a quick moment aside to offer Eldred a cigarette, which he politely refuses with an open palm. The duo then jumps the monster, beating him over the head with closed fists. Austin, seeing his chance, turns back toward the ring, eyes locked on Havok, who brandishes his crowbar like a sword, challenging Austin to approach. Just as Austin takes a step forward, he is suddenly by one of the hooded Brotherhood acolytes, who suddenly pulls a bottle from beneath their robe and smashes it over Austin’s head! As John Austin crumples to the floor, the acolyte removes their hood.
JOEY STYLES: “Griffin MacAlister! Austin didn’t see that one coming!”
Griffin discards the robe and jumps up onto the apron. A few yards behind him, Lesnar continues the brawl with the McBride brothers, but is quickly being overwhelmed! The McBrides beat him down, now adding some kicks into the mix! Lesnar starts to lose his ground, and is forced up the entrance ramp, step by step! It seems that all hope is lost for Brock. That is, until…
Wyatt Reynolds! With Charlotte Dyson not far behind! Wyatt shoves past the nonchalant Morgan Eldred, who takes a glance at his wristwatch and smiles. But that smiles is quickly replaced with an annoyed frown as Charlotte approaches him, reaches into her bra, and pulls out a switch-knife. She points it threateningly at him as her significant other rushes down to the McBride/Lesnar brawl. Wyatt takes out Connor with a smash of his leg – A Grand Wizard to Connor McBride’s head!
On the apron, Griffin points to LJ Havok, then signals him to get the hell out of the way. Havok gladly complies, backing into the corner to watch Griffin do his thing. MacAlister, with a sneer plastered across his mug, approaches the fallen Sebastian Duke, malice burning in his eyes. Just as Griffin winds up to attack, he is hit with a spear from…
JOEY STYLES: “Cam Lang! The man LJ left behind to rise to power has returned for blood! Look at all these XWF stars! This truly is Madness!”
Griffin rolls out of the ring, and Cam Lang stands defiantly before LJ Havok, who can only look on with a face mixed with both shock and ire. The two walk up to each other and are nose to nose. The peace is finally broken when Cam Lang throws a right hook at LJ, and the two begin a scrap of their own. On the outside of the ring, Paul Heyman can only look around in complete bewilderment as the show descends into complete chaos. The roar of the crowd is broken after a minute or so of complete pandemonium by Eldred’s cold baritone voice:
MORGAN ELDRED: “Well, this was fun, wasn’t it? Now, every good magician knows how to clean up after his act…oh, lovely asistaaaaant! Please come clean up.”
Morgan takes a large, exaggerated step to his left, leaving Charlotte Dyson to be toppled over by a final person, who emerges from backstage. But we don’t know this fellow – he is another monstrous man, except with a dark complexion. His massive arms are hidden beneath a long, gray woolen jacket, which compliments his plain white dress shirt and business casual black chinos. His bald head shines beneath the hot stage lights. But most curious about this giant of a man is the strange, ghostly white half-mask covering half of his face.
MORGAN ELDRED: “Ladies and gentlemen and Paul Heyman…let me introduce
my assistant, Cato the Elder!”
The man moves right past Eldred, approaching the brawl between the McBrides, Wyatt Reynolds, and Brock Lesnar. With Connor already down and out, Cato makes quick work of Michael McBride by grabbing him by the vest and tossing him haphazardly over the side barricades and into the crowd. Wyatt Reynolds takes a swing at Cato, but the large man blocks the punch and offers one of his own…right into Reynolds’s left eye! Shoving Wyatt aside, Cato is suddenly ambushed by Brock Lesnar, who gets in a number of hits on Eldred’s assistant, forcing the massive man onto one knee.
But then, Cato springs back up, catching Brock with a vicious uppercut, launching Lesnar off of his feet and a few inches into the air. Lesnar lands hard on his back, dazed as he states up at the ceiling. Cato continues forward, and slides into the ring. Cam Lang suddenly breaks away from his scuffle with Havok upon sighting the fearsome dark stranger and makes for the hills, scrambling out of the ring, leaving an unaware LJ Havok to face down Cato the Elder.
Confused, Havok begins walking backwards, mocking Cam’s sudden decision to split. Then, he bumps into a solid brick wall of muscle and rage. Havok’s face suddenly melts away to a lingering dread. He turns…
And Cato lifts the TV Title contender up over his shoulders! A crucifix powerbomb to LJ Havok! Cato slams The Savior down into the mat and leaps back up before turning to look up the ramp at his patriarch. Eldred brings the mic back up to his lips.
MORGAN ELDRED: “And now, the encore.”
He faces the curtain and waves. A fresh new ref appears, and runs down the entrance ramp to help finish up this match and put an end to the chaos.
As the ref slides under the ropes and into the squared circle, Cato turns—
JOEY STYLES: “Soul Shot from Duke! He’s completely demolished this Cato guy!”
Duke’s arm smacks against Cato the Elder’s neck, and the big man drops like a sack of stone hammers, smacking the canvas with a very audible sound! Duke stands tall over both Cato and Havok as the new ref enters the ring. The Lord of Darkness moves in for the kill on Havok. He grabs the fallen Savior, and locks in Pandora’s Box! But Havok’s not exactly at home right now. He’s out cold. The ref lifts his hand once.
Twice.
Thrice! It’s over!
With a satisfied shrug, Eldred turns to leave. Suddenly, the lights in the arena go out!
When they come back on, Duke is standing before Eldred on the stage. With a harsh frown, Duke grabs Eldred by the throat! Chokeslam on the metal entrance ramp! Co-GM down! Paul Heyman has no time to enjpy Eldred’s humiliation, as he’s too busy attending to LJ Havok, who still lies motionless in the center of the ring. All around the squared circle, XWF medics tend to those beaten down in the chaos of the moment.
JOEY STYLES: “Sebastian Duke has made it clear: do not fight his battles for him! I’m still not quite sure what the hell just happened! Nevertheless, Madness will return after this!”
Madness returns from commercial to the sound of the bell.
| “This is War” by Thirty Seconds to Mars plays. |
Liz Hathaway appears at the top of the entrance ramp, pumped up and ready to go. She pumps up the crowd, raising her arms in time with the beat of the music, urging the crowd to get fired up. She pounds the ground twice and does a quick cross symbol across her chest. With a sudden burst of energy, Liz runs down toward the ring, slapping a few hands on her way. She slides into the ring and mounts the tunbuckle, throwing up a peace sign to the crowd, who either shoot the peace sign back, or give her the finger. Damn smarky fans.
| “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi plays. |
Liz’s partner, Smoke Man, walks out confidently from backstage. But what’s this? He’s got a burlap sack over his shoulder. But what’s it filled with? It looks lumpy. With his free hand, he makes a cut-throat motion, before throwing his hands out widely and walking toward the ring with a little pomp in his step. He stretches his free arm a bit and slides into the ring, being careful not to drop the sack. He looks to Liz and gives a little chuckle. These two are an odd couple, that’s for sure. Having arrived, Smoke Man carefully drops the burlap sack outside the ring and awaits their opponents.
| “Part of Your World” by Darren Criss plays. |
Tri Bute, The 8000 Time SSAW King of The Universe Warrior Grandslam Mega Murder Mother Flippin' Champion, makes his way down to the ring quite simply, ignoring the fans’ outstretched hands and removing his jacket and shirt, as is customary for athletes of his future time.
| “James Brown” by Cage the Elephant plays. |
Jessie Diaz paces her way out from backstage, a smile ironed on her face as she walks. She pays no attention to the world around her, though that Trios tag belt is looking nice around her waist. Her eyes are locked on the ring. She rolls inside the ropes, gives her opponents a little nod of condescension, and climbs the turnbuckle, quietly mouthing a line from her entrance music to herself.
MAIN EVENT
Liz Hathaway & Smoke Man
- vs -
Tri Bute & Jessica Diaz
Standard Rules
|
As Smoke Man and Liz Hathaway argue over who should be forced to start, Jessie Diaz and Tri Bute look on, olling their eyes as time progresses. Finally, the champs have had enough, and make their way over to the “dynamic duo.” Jessie grabs a handful on Liz’s hair from behind, while Tri Bute does a quick spin, followed by tackling Smoke Man through the middle and top ropes!
Jessie reels Liz into a bear hug, which culminates in a releasing belly-to-belly suplex. Liz lands on her rear, and though her tailbone smarts, she’s quickly back to her feet, only to take a wicked roundhouse kick to the side of the head! Liz stumbles headfirst into the corner, and Jessie follows. Diaz spins Hathaway around so that Liz’s back is to the turnbuckle, and begins snapping kick after kick into Liz’s abdomen! Jessie then pulls Liz’s head under her arm and finishes with a running bulldog out of the corner! An early pin from Diaz!
1
…
2
…
Kick-out by Liz Hathaway! Jessie takes this opportunity to wrap her legs around Liz’s left arm for an armbar! Liz’s arm is stretched out quite thoroughly, but the hold is suddenly broken by the appearance of Smoke Man, who grabs Diaz’s red hair and tugs her to the outside! Once there, Smoke gives Diaz a kick to the midsection, followed by a DDT onto the floor!
Smoke tosses Diaz back into the ring and climbs onto the apron. Liz crawls over and slaps his hand for a tag. He quickly runs in and nails Diaz with a running knee lift to the ribs! Smoke takes a second to size up Diaz, and then continues his offensive with an arm drag. Jessie gets back to her feet, and Smoke gives her a hip toss.
No! Diaz flips forward and lands on her feet. She quickly counters Smoke’s offensive with a series of knees to Smoke’s stomach, forcing him to double over. She then bounces off the ropes and hits Smoke Man with a Fame-ass-er!
Back on her feet, Jessie grabs Smoke’s arm and drags him over to her friendly corner, where Tri Bute is eagerly awaiting. Jessie tags in The Future Warrior and heads out onto the apron, but not before giving Smoke Man a few stomps to the arm.
Tri Bute picks Smoke Man up and lifts the downed star up onto his shoulders. He then slams Smoke into the mat with a standing fireman’s carry slam! A pin!
1
…
2
…
Smoke Man kicks out! Tri Bute locks in a sleeper hold, and Smoke Man forces his way onto two feet, but Tri Bute moves the sleeper into a sudden backbreaker!
The Future Superstar gets back to his feet and stomps on Smoke Man’s chest a few times before lifting him onto his feet. He scoops Smoke up for a scoop slam, but Smoke Man counters with a sudden headscissor takedown! Ah, but Tri Bute is an expert at rolling and spinning, and rolls out of the takedown onto his feet. Before Smoke Man can figure out what’s what, Tri Bute bounces off the ropes, spins, and hits Smoke with a rolling lariat! The pin!
1
…
2
….
Smoke kicks out!
Tri Bute, tired of Smoke’s games, locks in a side headlock and leads Smoke over to his friendly corner, where Jessie Diaz slaps Bute’s back for the tag-in. She leaps over the ropes with a springboard DDT on Smoke Man! Diaz then bounces off the ropes and catches Smoke in the abdomen with a kitchen sink!
Suddenly, Liz Hathaway joins the party, rushing at Diaz, who sidesteps and tries to toss Liz through the middle and top ropes. Liz performs a non-attack tiger feint kick and comes running back at Diaz with a crossbody! Tri Bute, feeling a little left out (poor guy), runs in and catches the side of Liz’s face with a rolling big boot! He then dropkicks Hathaway in the ribs, causing the little lady to go rolling out of the ring! Tri Bute heads off after her, with the ref just trying to get them to get out of the ring!
But with the ref’s back turned, Diaz goes to grab the still-fallen Smoke Man, who has crawled over to the edge of the ring. But when she grabs him, at the same instant, Smoke Man grabs his mysterious burlap sack and smacks Diaz upside the head with it! The sack bursts open at the violent contact, spilling its contents all over the ring!
JOEY STYLES: “Are those…potatoes?”
Yep! About two dozen of them lie scattered about the ring. When the ref turns back to the active competitors, he is shocked to find himself in the wrestling equivalent of southern Ireland. Diaz lies supine, and Smoke Man goes for the illicit cover!
1
….
2
….
Diaz kicks out at 2 and 7/8! Almost! So close! Smoke Man can’t believe it! Spudnik’s present to him didn’t do the trick! Unbelievable!
JOEY STYLES: “Mr.
will not be pleased to hear about this!”
Smoke goes for the cover again, refusing to believe the potato stunt didn’t work!
1
…
2
…
Diaz kicks out again! Smoke smacks the mat in disbelief! With no other options, he gets onto his feet and pulls Diaz up by her hair. But what’s this?!
Diaz spits a mouthful of half-chewed raw potato into Smoke’s face! Disgusted, Smoke Man is sent tumbling backwards! He unwittingly bounces off the ropes and back toward Jessie Diaz, who lifts him up…
The Major Headache (Hell’s Gate)! But Diaz isn’t finished! She locks in a Shackled (Fujiwara Armbar)! And to complicate matter further, Smoke is lying atop a few potatoes! Well, that can’t be good for his back! The agony of the combined tortures leaves him with no choice, and he submits! Tap out!
| WINNERS: Tri Bute & Jessie Diaz |
Jessie immediately lets go of the hold and rolls out of the ring to meet her partner Tri Bute, who waits with their Trios belts. He hands over her part of the titles, and the two begin backing up the entrance ramp, belts aloft.
Inside the ring, the fallen Smoke Man is joined by his “partner,” Liz Hathaway. And she does not look pleased. Rather furious, actually. She begins insulting Smoke Man, even as he still lies on the ground, holding his arm in pain. Hathaway finally snaps, and begins stomping away at Smoke Man’s injured arm! She is literally spitting at him in rage!
Suddenly, a new figure walks down the entrance ramp.
JOEY STYLES: “There’s Luca Arzegotti! What’s he got in store?”
As he passes the trios champs, Luca gives a “sup” to Diaz. Do they…do they know each other from somewhere…?
Either way, Luca charges into the ring with his European Championship belt over his shoulder. He slides under the bottom rope, and Liz Hathaway sees him coming. He rushes at her, and she tries to hit him with a clothesline, but he ducks under it.
LUCA ARZEGOTTI “Black Circle, bitch!”
He whips himself around and smacks Liz in the head with the title belt! She goes down like…well, like a sack of potatoes. Victorious in what he came here to accomplish, Luca poses with his belt in the air for a moment. He then turns to leave, but stops himself midway through the ropes. A thought some to him, and he laughs to himself. Returning to the inside of the ring, he circles the downed Hathaway for a moment. His foot kicks something. Glancing down, Luca sees it: one of Smokey’s potatoes. He gingerly picks it up and sizes the vegetable up. Then, without a shred of dignity to the act, he picks up Liz’s head by the hair and unceremoniously stuffs the potato into her mouth like a roasted pig!
Madness fades out with a shot of Arzegotti standing over Hathaway, stoned out of his mind and laughing like a hyena on an IV morphine drip…
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