-Stereotypical sissy Steve Sayors is at his usual interviewing post alone, but history tells us Hunter Payne is probably just out of camera view, waiting for his introduction.-




Sayors: Ladies and gentlemen.... Hunter Payne!




-As expected Hunter Payne walks into camera view with his head held high. The crowd erupts with excitement, That's weird? Because they aren't in an arena, this is an online interview (Guess he's just that good?). Hunter keeps his head held high and waits for Stevie Sayors to ask him a question.-




Sayors: Hunter, you recently were having a serious string of bad luck, but it looks as if you've recovered from it. Is that an accurate assessment?




Payne: Absolutely, Joy is gone! The Straight Edge Xtreme is here! The Brotherhood is wounded and they will continue to pay! All is well with Hunter Payne.




Sayors: You mentioned that Joy is gone. As that is something we all have been wondering, have we seen the last of Joy Giovanni in the XWF?




Payne: Well, I didn't realize how popular Joy was until she left, that being said... Yes! Joy will never be in the XWF again! At least not with me anyway.




Sayors: Well, there you have it. Now, what was the driving force behind forming The Straight Edge Xtreme?




Payne: You know the worst part of being a member of The Brotherhood? Besides taking orders from an idiot who can't remember correct names to save his life... It was the fact that I had to associate myself with a bunch of alcoholics! Every single last one of them. There were some nights where I was the only member going to the ring sober. The honest truth is half of them probably could be King of the XWF right now, if they would just keep themselves in the game and away from the bottle. Now look at you guys, you're an afterthought! Their leader Sebastian Duke is too busy trying to spread his seed into any chick with a pulse than leading his crew of stranded drunk soldiers. So back to your question, Straight Edge Xtreme was created to spread awareness as well as showing the great XWF fans that not all of us are pathetic alcoholics and pitiful drug users! SEX will show that it's better to live in sobriety than in a drunken Brotherhood. Where your 'brother' tries to sleep with your baby-momma, but only after having a few drinks of course, isn't that right Duke?




Sayors: So you made it clear that you have the Brotherhood in your sights, but what are your thoughts on your upcoming opponents for Madness?




Payne: You know it's kind of funny, see last week Theo Pryce and I were screwed in the Lethal Lottery Tournament, because apparently the referee's were smoking 'the chronic' backstage with our highly, and I do mean 'highly', regarded owner Shane . The amount of blown calls in that match was unbelievable! Did any of the incompetent referees bother to follow match guidelines and disqualify that naked Snow Pharaoh for the multiple rules that the Ecstasy-induced Egyptian broke? Nope! Did the stoned owner Shane bother to do me and Theo the same 'favor' he did for my opponents the week prior? Nope! But hey, look at that! -mocks Shane 's one eyed deep voice- We'll let these two guys blow off some of the steam they have from us fucking them over by placing them in a match against each other! -reverts back to his normal voice- You know the typical upper-management bullshit, but unfortunately for Theo "What's your price?" Pryce, I have a better partner than he does.





Sayors: Yes, what are your thought on Militem Dominum?




Payne: Milton Domino? He's cool... not really. Can you please reiterate some things this intellectual jackass said about me Steve?




Sayors: Actually I believe we have footage of what he said regarding you...




-We go straight to footage of Steve Sayors and what Militem Dominum said about Hunter Payne-

Militem Dominum Said:Straight Edge Xtreme? SEX? A juvenile name for a team full of mentally deficient halfwits that unfortunately promote a viewpoint that I can respect.

Unfortunately?

Yes, unfortunately. They are to me what PETA is to animal rights activists. A group of morons who make the entire idea look idiotic and suck the credibility from the viewpoint. Do you want to say you agree with Hunter Payne and Ann Thraxx?

Payne: Haha, I love it! The reason for the SEX abbreviation is because the simple fact you'll remember it a lot easier than say, if I picked some fucking stupid Latin name that nobody cares to pronounce... Oh hey Militem Dominum! What a coincidence!...




Payne: You compare us to PETA? Ouch! Alright, Then I guess I'll compare you more to MADD. Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Sure, you may have a great cause, but the fact that you specifically suck at conveying your message, means nobody is going to listen to you or your misguided information.





-We go back to the footage-

Militem Dominum Said:Hunter Payne? Is it a requirement for everyone in this company to have their names be a pun or play on words? We have Pryce, Payne, and Ann Thraxx in here. Just an observation here, seeing as though the actual level of "competition" is lacking. However, continuing on this train of thought would be missing the point of this interview. I'm sure you didn't hunt me down to hear me talk about puns.

Payne: Wow! What an egotistical prick! It's funny a guy who chose the name Militem Dominum is mocking other people's names. Is he for real? Puns be damned, Latin language be fucked, Militem Dominum is the ugliest, most nonsensical name in our federation today. Holy shit, we need a pun name for you, just to save us from this piece of shit name you've bestowed upon us. I don't know what's worse, the fact that you based the level of 'competition' on names rather than talent, or the fact your considering yourself 'competition' in the first place.




-We go back to the footage of Militem Dominum's promo-

Militem Dominum Said:Seeing as though this whole "movement" was his idea; I don't think I need to rip into Hunter any further. The rejection of someone who very well could've agreed with his views is enough. Alienation at the rate of what I've accomplished when he was in fact searching out members. Think about it, Hunter. Think about all the people you've forced to alcohol, drugs, and other vices through simply promoting yourself as the alternative.

You are not a part of the solution, which makes you the problem.

Problems get solved.

Payne: Think of the countless people you're putting to sleep with your promos. See the problem there, is you're new and you got that chip on shoulder, I've seen it countless times! Hell, I've even beaten that out of a few people, go ask Andrew Morrison, Jonny Rebel, and Troy Turner, they spewed similar garbage as you have, and I defeated them. You think you're different? Of course you do!.. Listen, the only difference between you and them is, I had a huge weight by the name of Joy Giovanni holding me down, but she's gone now. So you're extra fucked...





Payne: You say you don't want to join our cause, that's fine. Your reason is obvious, you some cocky rookie idiot who has one, I repeat ONE, win under your belt and you think we're missing out by YOU not joining SEX. I really could care less. You know why? Because I can read your future, well all rookies really. You lose and take the pin for your team next Madness. From there you go in a downward spiral of loss after loss, and if you don't take it up the ass, you'll stick around... and that's when you will come begging to join SEX... and I will remind you of your arrogance from this promo, before rejecting you for being the overrated bitch you are!





Payne: But you are right about one thing, problems get solved. And right now, you're terrible trash talking is my problem. I will fix that by putting you in your fucking place, like the little rookie puppy you are proving yourself to be.... Some great advice for you, stick to finding God, you need Him. And whatever you do, keep my name out of your mouth! You'll only make it worse for yourself come Madness.




Sayors: Thanks for your time Mr. Payne.





Payne: Any time Stevie.




-Hunter Payne walks off camera view effectively ending the promo-