Tri Bute: Our Future Lord, Our Great Future King: A Biographical Future Comic
ISSUE #18 (Part 4)
Execution: Roc King

Previously on ISSUE #18:

“Your future sponge bath awaits!”

“My great future king, the future geologist is here,”

“It seems something has upset the future rocks, my great future king.”

"No, shut up. Tell the future rocks that the great future king has better things to do."

“They’ll cause a future earthquake that’ll fuck up the future symphony.”

“Fine,”

“Wait! You can’t go down future there!”

“There isn’t enough future time!”

“The future transformation! It’s beginning!”

“His future legs, just got...future rocked.”

Future rocks are dumb! I’m so future mad that I have to future talk to future rocks!

Would future begging that future virgin-birthed ‘chosen one’ child murderer be any better?

“Future Amen.”

“Here I go. This future rock is about to get,” Tri Bute put on his future sunglasses, “Told!”

http://instantyeah.org/

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The future rock king’s future palace was a marvelous future stone future building. It was deep under-future-ground, somewhere in the future lithosphere under Future Ryan, Future Oklahoma. Roc King sat proudly on his future rock future throne. His future throne future swayed and future rocked future forward and future backward. His loyal future rock future subjects were edgy; he didn’t like it when his future boulders sat so close to the future edge.

Future time was running out. Soon those future rocks would enact a future execution ruining future plan. The Future Ryan Future Fault Line was not the best place to hold a future hanging. The future geologist said so himself.

*The following future dialogue has been future translated from Future Rock to Future English*

“Has Tri Bute responded to our future threat yet?” asked the future rock king, Roc King.

“No, my great future rock king, he hasn’t.”

“Well he better, and soon. He only has like a future minute left, right?”

“Right, my future rock liege.”

“Start future preparing for the future earthquake then, if he was coming we’d know b-,”

FUTURE RING A LING!

The future rock king’s official future rock phone answer-er future answered the future rock phone! “Future hello?” The official future rock phone answer-er quickly put it on future speaker future rock phone so everyone could future hear it.

“Future hi, this is Professor Geo Logist future calling from over-future-ground. The future king is on his way now; he’ll need a future translator. I’d do it, but he had me future arrested,” said the future geologist over the future rock phone in his second future language.

“What an inconvenience. Way to go. Now we have to find somerock who future speaks Future English! What a future drag!” The future rock king was not future pleased.

“It’s not my future fault! S-,” the future rock secretary hung up the future rock phone before the future geologist could continue.

“Now that we have the future king’s attention, stop all future earthquake future preparations. Find a future translator too.”

“I will open the Future Ryan future palace’s over-future-ground future entrance, my future rock liege,”

Por Phyritic pressed a future rock button.

---

“Pyroblastic furock chert. Furock phylite tectonic furock plates. Yo soy Rock Geo Logist, travertite furock biotite silica gronjagorium. Arrestirock.” said Geo Logist, while future speaking clearly into the future phone from the future dungeon in what I assume is some sort of foreign future language.

“Inconvinium! Waytogolite! Translatiummygosisdigup Anotheroium! Furock Dragite!”

Geo Logist didn’t future appreciate being future yelled at! It’s not like it was his future fault!

“Snitskynyonium! Schist,” but before he could say much else he future heard the future click and the future phone call future ended. Geo hung the future phone on the future receiver. Future security guards grabbed him by his future arms and future tossed him into his future holding cell.

Geo future looked around for something familiar, but there weren’t any future rocks in this damn future dungeon. There wasn’t a future rock soul in sight, so, he started future talking to himself. After a future bit that got boring, though, so he stopped.

Although it wasn't a good thing that he'd been sent to the future dungeon, it did mean that he wouldn't have to future work or future stress about future rocks all the future time. Geo future kicked back for the fist future time in a long while.

*The following future dialogue has been future translated from Future Rock to Future English*

“Hey, Geo.”

Geo future looked around. He had never future heard a future voice like this one before. There were no future rocks in sight though!

“Where, and who, are you?”

His future sleeves began to curl up on their own. His future orange short-sleeves tucked themselves in.

“Now you future look swoll.”

Geo future looked at his future arms, future quizzically. “That’s remarkable.” Geo didn’t know that rolling one’s future sleeves up makes one future stronger looking, some future scientist he was.

“I’m your future prisoner uniform. I know how to make myself good-future-looking. It’s important to future look your best. No matter where you are.”

Geo didn’t really know what to future say. He had never future spoken with future clothing. However, his future clothes didn’t want it to get future awkward so it was quick with a future question.

“How was your future day?”

“Um, future alright, I future guess.”

“You’re in a future dungeon right now. You can future tell the future truth.”

“It’s been a schist future day. I got future arrested and I wasted my one future phone call on making sure the future hanging still happened and stopping some dumb future earthquake. I could have future talked to my future wife and future kids one last future time, but no, I had to future talk to future rocks instead.”

“That’s totally lame. I future feel for you, future breh.”

Future rocks never future say anything future reassuring like that.

“Future thanks.”

Another odd future moment passed. It was future weird. A certain future tingling future hit his future heart. He had all the future time in the future world to future talk to his future prison uniform. He was sure there would be no future convincing the future judge. The future case was pretty much future open and future shut. He’d probably keep wearing this for a long future time. What's the future problem with that though? His future clothes were a future stand-up future guy! Then a future question popped into his future head. Something about it seemed future prevalent. He just had to future ask now; well, maybe he'd future beat around the future bush a little future bit, but he'd get into the future process of future asking now.

“You seem to know a lot. I’ve never once made myself future look good, but you, you just made me swoll. I’ve never even future exercised before!”

“You know about future rocks. I know about future fashion. We’re like the ultimate future team.”

"You future think so too?"

"I future feel you, future breh." His future prisoner's uniform future clenched tighter.

“That’s all future fine and future dandy, but there is something that’s been future bugging about this.”

“What is it?”

“Does this mean I’m one with the future man-made, like the future king?”

“No.”

“Then what does it mean? And if you’re future clothing then why are you future speaking to me in Future Rock?”

FUTURE THUD!

A future arm-less future man swooped down from above and future kicked the future geologist in the future head. The future arm-less future man lifted up Geo’s future arm, by slipping his future foot under it and pulling it up slightly, and dropped it three future times to make sure he was future knocked out. The future attacker future bit the future end of his future pant-leg and future dragged him away.

The future day just kept getting better for Geo Logist.

---

Tri Bute stood, blessed by Grievous Crisp, son of Zeusrion. He had just future said a future one-liner and put future sunglasses on. He was ready to test his new future ability to speak to future rocks on this damn future rock wall jerk future head. Tri Bute cleared his future throat.

“Future excuse me.”

Tri Bute waited several future moments, but nothing happened. He was future running out of future time. Something had to happen!

“Future excuse me!” shouted Tri Bute; he wasn’t very patient.

Another few future moments passed. He was running out of future time. Even more so than before! Maybe if he future shouted louder this future idiot would get out of the future way!

“FUTURE EXCU-,”

FUTURE ROCK BUTTON PRESS FUTURE SOUND!

The future rock wall dropped to the future ground. Satisfied, Tri Bute future patted himself on the future back, confident in his future ability. He didn’t future feel lame about future asking Crisp for future help anymore. Tri Bute future stepped through and future entered the future rock king, Roc King’s future palace. Tri Bute knew he’d be able to get in and out in future time. That future execution would happen at future sun down even if it were the last thing he did.

Tri Bute was considered a wise future man on the over-future-ground, however, even he didn’t know what could be future lurking with the future rocks and future stones down below.

The J.I.Z.Z. had future leaked out long ago.

---

“Doc Tor! Are his future legs going to be alright?”

“Keep your future panties on. I haven’t even future seen this future guy yet!”

A future nurse wheeled in the unconscious future security guard on a future wheelchair. The future rock virus infected him. It was noticeable in the future leg area.

“Oh, this probably won’t be too hard. Help me get this future guy up on the future operating future table.” Doc Tor and Mel lifted the future security guard off of the future wheelchair.

“Keep steady, Doc.”

“They don’t call me ‘Steady Future Hands’ for nothing, Mel.” Slowly they future guided the stone future-legged future man to the place of future operation and future set him down.

“So, Doc, have you seen something like this before? Is there a future cure? Sec is my best future friend in the whole future world! I want him to be okay!”

“It’s just his future legs. Do you future remember what I future said about your future panties? Don’t worry about it. It’s not like he’s missing his future arms or anything. Could you future imagine having to do everything with your future teeth and future legs? It sure would be future hard.”

“I guess you’re righ-,”

“Future say no more. I’ll do what I can. I’m a future professional.”

Doc Tor grabbed a future stethoscope off of the future counter. It was a swift future reminder of what he once had. The future energy exerted in a simple future reach brought the future memory of a future friend that served a similar future purpose. He had to do his future job now. There wasn’t future time to dwell on old future times, or future reminisce. There wasn’t any future time to future think of his soft future hands. No future time at all to get lost in the future embraces and future trade-lasts. No, future time was of the future essence.

“Doc, you in there?”

“I don’t know. What are we future talking about?”

“My future friend’s future legs were turned into future rock.”

“Right.” Dr. Tor put the future stethoscope's future eartips in his future ears. “I’ll future check if his future legs have a future heartbeat.”

Tor held the future device by the future stem and set the future chestpiece on the rocky exterior of his future patient.

FUTURE BOOM! FUTURE ROCK EXPLOSION!

Everything future tumbled and future fell. The future lights began to future flicker, and then just turned off altogether! Mel future felt around. If he could future feel anything, he might be able to figure out what happened. The only future problem was that there seemed to be no future feeling in his future hands at all. His future fingers stuck in place, essentially future unmovable.

Mel pulled his future hands to his future face. They were oddly cold and solid. He tried to future shout, but merely future coughed out future bits of future sandstone. Odramatic’s future eyes immediately clenched shut as a burning future sensation took over his future face. He tried to future claw at his future face with his future rock hands, but he soon found out that future hitting yourself with future rocks hurts. He future stumbled backwards with his future foot catching something slippery causing him to future fall right on his future butt.

A pair of future legs straddled him from behind and cut off his future airflow by future wrapping across his future neck. The sounds of future shushing were the last things he future heard before future drifting to a different future state of consciousness.

The future day just kept getting better for Mel Odramatic.

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"Pink is my signature color!" - Elle Woods