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Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson · **10-29-2013, 07:26 AM**

Dwayne “The Schlong” Johnson is here to save you failing film franchise.

That was the Empire magazine cover story with a bad ass picture of Dwayne looking camp and moody, uh I mean dark and moody, bad ass, yeah bad ass that’s how he was looking. What a guy.

Dwayne smiled as he flicked through the pages to see how his interview came across in print, very well as usual, of course it was, he is a professional. Oosssh daddy-o, “The Breast there is, Breast there was and Breast there ever will be.”

Suddenly Neil Patrick Harris of The Triple X Listers approaches Dwayne with there friend the Giant Pink Electrifying Bunny. Neil is holding a bong with a big smile on his face as the Bunny randomly zaps poor innocent extras as he walks. The bunny hated the extras, everything had gone to his floppy eared head ever since Dwayne had got him a starring role in his new franchise saving mission. Well this wasn’t as much or a franchise as it was a straight up revenge sequel. As soon as the script had dropped onto Dwayne’s massive schlong he new his electrifying bunny friend was perfect for the role. The role is of Hazel in the revenge thriller, Watership Down 2: Rabbit’s Gonna Get Ya Biatches. Bunny had been hesitant at first after hearing that he would have to dye his hair from its normal fluffy pink to a dark brown colour. Luckily for you though Dwayne saved that day once again but showing bunny that with the success of his movie and Dwayne’s next fantastic project would come all the bunny drugs, bunny girls and bunny money he could ever desire, and don’t think it wont be a success, the script, the casting, everything is perfect.

The general premise for the story is the body and spirit of Hazel, the rabbit that passed away at the end of the first movie returns to the world to seek bloody revenge on those who made his family and other lives a misery. With his new un-dead form he has also developed some abilities that will assist him in his mission, most notably the power to fire bolts of lightning out of his hands and anus. (You should never stand down wind from Bunny, if you know what I mean.) So Hazel returns from the dead and first gathers all of the Rabbit that he can and they become his soldiers, think the footclan to Hazels Shredder. It is truly an awesome spectacle some say it is tipped to surpass James Cameron’s Aviatar as the highest grossing film of all time. They then as a group visit all of the terrors from the first film and destroy them, every single one until there is nobody left leaving Hazel to rule the world with the help of his soldiers. “Planet of the Rabbit’s anyone?” There’s the third film in this franchise sorted then, does anyone know anywhere we can get anymore giant electrifying bunny’s?

No?

Oh well, well just have bunny playing all the parts, we can do that with CGI and all that bollocks you know. Talented mother fuckers we are.

Neil Patrick Harris: Hey Dwayne, me and bunny are heading out to lunch with Vin and Paul, you want to come?

Before revealing Dwayne’s response to this question I must point out that Paul and Vin have begun the filming of Fast and Furious 31 and thus far Dwayne has not been invited to join the party of his most impressive franchise saving project, I mean Dwayne reignited the Fast franchise when he joined the crew back in Fast 5 which in turn changed the futures of his fellow cast mates for the better, he saved everything about the fast franchise and he has been cold shouldered for this next film, not even a cameo, it takes the piss really. Vin had contracted him a few times trying to get him to meet up for a drink or a game of hide the strudel but Dwayne was just to hurt and disappointed for that, he wonders now if this is just another one of those moments.

Dwayne: Nah, I don’t really feel like it, i think I’ll just stay here preparing for my match coming up.

Neil Patrick Harris: Really, it doesn’t look like it, it looks like you are watching Bridget Jones’ Diary... Again.

Dwayne: Yes, so, this is how I prepare. I am channelling my inner emotions so no matter what happens in the match up, it will never be as bad as this film, or the watching of this film I should say.

Neil and the Bunny look a little confused but just shrug there shoulders anyway and walk away. Dwayne watches them leave hand in hand with bunny’s little fluffy tail wobbling as he went. Why they were holding hands is anyone’s guess.

Travolta: Actually I know why.

Oh look here is Triple X Lister and star of the cinema masterpeace Wild Hogs, John Travolta. What does he want we wonder?

Travolta: Not a lot actually you weird voice from the sky, but I do know why NPH and Bunny are holding hands, it’s because.......

Oh look, a cookie!

Travolta goes running off after Boy Meets World star Ben Savage who was carrying a tray of chocolate chip cookies towards the trailer that was home to the American Pie Fucker Jason Biggs.

The End

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