The following is a dream of Hunter Payne, sometime between yesterday and tomorrow. This means logic is thrown out the window, as well as copyright infringement, if anything you can call this parody of a dream Hunter Payne once had or will have. This is "A Payneful Day In Oz"



-Hunter Payne wakes up! He was unconscious on the floor. He immediately tries to familiarize his surroundings -


Payne: What the fuck!


-Hunter starts to walk around the hill he is on-


Payne: Where am I?


-Hunter eventually finds a house in the middle of nowhere on the hill-




-Hunter sees a man who looks to be dead outside of the house. A bunch of plywood fell on him. Hunter removes the plywood to see the man isn't breathing. Hunter runs to the front steps of the house... Hunter hesitates, but slowly opens the front door. Not knowing whats going to be on the other side-







Payne: Kev?!



-Hunter's friend Kevin is rapping to himself, probably to pass the time. Hunter didn't catch his exact words but it was the typical "I'm a thug, that will kill you" type rap-






Kevin: What up Hunt?! My nigga!



Payne: What the fuck is going on here Kev?!



Kevin: That's what I said man! I woke up this morning without my Hart!



Payne: You woke up without your heart?!



Kevin: Nah nigga, my Hart!


Payne: Wait... what?


Kevin: Come here.



-Kevin pulls piece of paper out of a nearby drawer. And Hunter looks at it-



Kevin: It's my birth certificate.



Payne: It doesn't have your last name. It just has Kevin.



Kevin: Yes, I'm missing my Hart!



Payne: Well I'll be damned... It looks like your missing your Hart.



Kevin: I think I know who took it.



Payne: Who?



Kevin: The wicked witch of Joy! Evil bitch!



Payne: I don't think wicked and joy belong in the same sentence.



Kevin: No matter, "I'm killing this bitch TONIGHT, nigga!"



Payne: Kev, you can't just kill a woman for taking your Hart!



Kevin: Watch me Hunt! Watch me!



Payne: I'm not going to let you go alone.... Oh shit! I forgot there's a dead guy out there Kev!


Kevin: Really?!



-Both men run outside to the body-



Kevin: Well damn! That's one dead motherfucker... he's got some nice Nikes though... Hey Hunt, keep lookout.







Payne: Kev! You're not stealing a dead guys shoes!



Kevin: Normally I wouldn't, but I don't have a Hart remember?... Now keep lookout!


-Hunter keeps lookout while Kevin swaps shoes. Hunter starts talking while looking in another direction-



Payne: I don't even know why I'm here bro. I just... I just want to go home...



Kevin: "Back home, The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone. Ohhh!"



-As Kevin is singing the song "Dead and Gone" by Justin Timberlake and TI, the dead man starts coming to! Hunter doesn't notice because his head is turned, and since Kevin really likes his new shoes, he does the only plausible thing... Punches the alive dead man. Effectively knocking him back out-


Kevin: Sleep bitch!



-Hunter quickly turns around-



Payne: What?



Kevin: Nothing... Hey let's get out of here.



Payne: I was thinking the same thing!



Hunter and Kevin walk and walk until they see they are actually on a large hill. They look down to see what looks like a little town-






Payne: Finally! I might get some answers.



Kevin: That town looks kind of small.



Payne: You should fit right in. Hahahaha!



Kevin: Fuck you Hunt.



-Just as Hunter as Kevin reach the middle of the little town, small sounds can be heard, but they are coming closer... and closer... until... -



???: WELCOME TO.... THE LOLLIPOP GUILD...



Kevin: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!


-That was a scream not his laugh. Kevin literately kicks the first midget that approaches him, causing the rest to scatter like mice-






Payne: Shit Kevin! Why did you do that?!



Kevin: IT scared me!!! I'm not use to things smaller than me! I panicked! Shit! I think he left a mark on my new Nikes.



Payne: Are you okay little guy?



-The Munchkin is unresponsive-


Kevin: Man we gotta ditch the evidence before the cops come in their little swat cars and put us in little prison!



Payne: Yeah, you'd still fit right in.


Kevin: I'm serious, I can't afford my third strike!


-Kevin picks up the poor little guy by his collar and tosses him into some bushes-



Kevin: Great, now we gotta get out of here too!



-Just as Kevin said that, a pink cloud started to form-



Payne: What the fuck is this now?!



-Just then a figure very similar to Kimmy-K appeared from the cloud. But it is NOT Kimmy-K. Based on copy infringement rights that Hunter didn't ask to use her likenesses. We can clearly see a few resemblances but most assuredly, it is NOT Kimmy-K-



NOT Kimmy-K: Glitter! Glitter to all!



-She throws glitter, glittering everything within a 50 feet radius. Including Hunter and Kevin. Who quickly get annoyed by it-



Not Kimmy-K: Welcome to the Wonderful Earth known as Oz.I am the wonderful witch of the KKK.


Payne: Excuse me?



NOT Kimmy-K: The wonderful witch of the KKK... Those shoes! Where did you get those?!



Payne: Uhh... Ross or WSS? I think.



WWKKK: Not you! YOU!



-She points her wand at Kevin-



Kevin: Oh, I see! Just because I'm black you don't think I can buy these Nikes?! You racist bitch!



Payne: KKK Kev. Duh.



WWKKK: That is not what I meant. And I do not see colors!... Except pink! I love pink! But anyway, your coming was foretold to me. I even set up the lollipop guild to welcome you guys in song... but I don't know where they went...



-Hunter and Kevin avoid eye contact with WWKKK at this point, them knowing exactly where all the munchkins went-




Payne: So what exactly does your foretelling say?



WWKKK: That you must follow the yellow brick road, to find what you are looking for... but I don't understand why you aren't wearing those Nikes.



Kevin: You'd have to pry them from my cold dead body bitch! "Alright Alright Allrighhhttt!"



Payne: I'm fine wearing what I have. But my homie Kevin here is missing his Hart. You wouldn't happen to know where that is would you?



WWKKK: All your answers lie at the end of the yellow brick road.



Payne: Alright one more question.



WWKKK: All your answers lie at the end of the yellow brick road.



Payne: Yeah, well too bad! Why do names mean the opposite here? Why are you a wonderful witch of the KKK, and you're good, and the wicked witch of Joy is bad?



-WWKKK get frightened as soon as Hunter finishes that sentence-



WWKKK: Oh no! The wicked witch of Joy! She scares me!



Payne: Why?



WWKKK: All your answers...



Payne: Alright! I get it! Go down the damn yellow brick road! Are you coming with us?



WWKKK: No way. You're bound to run into the wicked witch of Joy eventually. You must do this without me.



Payne: Because you're scared of her?



-WWKKK nods-



WWKKK: You must go now, to find the answers you seek. Have some glitter for good luck... Glitter! Glitter for all!!!!



-WWKKK throws glitter everywhere again while she's vanishing-



Kevin: Cut it out bitch! Damn!



Payne: Ugh, fucking glitter in my eye! Come on, lets go down this fucking yellow brick road she wouldn't shut up about.



Kevin: Bitch got glitter on my Nikes!


-Hunter and Kevin find the yellow brick road nearby, and who knows what they will encounter on the journey to follow-

TO BE CONTINUED...