“You do not immortalize the lost by writing about them. Language buries, but does not resurrect.” ― John Green, "The Fault in Our Stars”



Journal Entry, Highgate Cemetery, London, England. 10/12/2013

Walking among the fallen tombstones, sharp wrought iron fences, and cold stone masoleums, I find myself thinking. Think about those I had lost, those who I would lose in the future, either to death or from one of us walking away. I thought about those that came before me. Would they be proud of my decisions in life? I came to Highgate Cemetery here in London, to see one specific resting place. The resting place of my twins. Buried next to a long time gone relative. Bowing my head, as I knelt there next to them, between the two graves. My twins laid side by side, inseparable for all eternity. Even now the memory is burned into my mind, it haunts my dreams. It causes me to walk many an hour in the dark and foreboding night, aimlessly searching for the part of me that I lost. This time it led me here.

I found myself staring at the grave of my twins, a tear flowing down my face, while anger raged in the pit of my stomach. I was angry for what had happened to them. Aubrey, Zak and Micah's Uncle, had taken them from me. He had taken two souls who were so pure, and placed them in a pine box for all eternity. When Aubrey found out about the children who were to be born, he was furious. He returned to the mansion and snatched me up by my wrist, while I had been reading in the sitting room. I remember him choking me, my brain beginning to get fuzzy, the darkness closing in around me. He tossed me across the room, slamming me into the piano, before throwing me out of the window. Thankfully we were on the first floor and the flower bed broke my fall. But I laid there, suffering. Blood poured from my lips, my nose, I felt as if I was going to die. For nine long months, I had carried them, and in a matter of moments, he had managed to take them from me.

I remember waking up a week later, being told of their death. When I finally was well enough to return to wrestling, I made my return in a big way. I joined XWF. The company I now work for fulltime. The upcoming Lethal Lottery is what made me come here. I needed to make my peace with what had happened. I needed to bottle that pain and loss up, and use it in the ring. That was what was best. It is time for me to be the person I was born to be. No more holding back.. full speed ahead.

~Alexandra Callaway

Alexandra pulled her jacket tight around her. The night air growing cold. She soon fell into a deep sleep. The flight over from the USA took a lot out of her. As she slept she found herself lost in the nightmare of the images she had seen when her hand touched the chest in Davids room. The nightmares of a darker world, plagued her mind, awakening the darkness that had been buried deep within her heart, soul, mind and body. It awakened her darker side. It called out to her from even across the sea, pleading for her to return to it. No matter how she tried to silence, the memories remained. Visions burned into her mind for all eternity.

_To Be Continued_