Oh Mystica... how I enjoyed your recent comments. Let's see how he started off things; who did he choose to target first?

There are six names in this match that he could have chosen, and any one of them would have made a fine first target for Mystica's abrasive and uselessly over-bloated vocabulary. Surely this prophet of the mist will choose a worthy name to start out wi–

No, no... I stand corrected.

He chose to start with...

Peter Gilmour.

Alright, that's fair enough... start with the easiest target in all of the land. I guess I just didn't peg Mystica for the type to still need training wheels this far into his career. How long has be been here? Yet his first choice to insult is Gilmour.

Well... at least Mystica has a way with words. At least he'll start out his Gilmour commentary without reverting to fat jokes.

(several seconds pass)

...

You're...

You're kidding me right?

This is how Mystica starts out his watered down placebo of a verbal assault?

Quote:Let's get the two-thousand pound elephant out of the room first. Peter Gilmour.

You know what? Cancel this entire thing... this "promo" or whatever you people call this. If I seriously have to deal with juveniles like Mystica who can't even rise above a Kimmy-K style onslaught, then I'm finished here. Here I heard that Mystica finally, after all this time, decided to supply something relevant... but then I turn on his awkward, uncomfortable "talking to the camera" skit and the first thing I get is a Peter Gilmour fat joke.

From Mystica.

The man who thinks he knows how to use words such as "affable" when he is speaking of a great unknown to himself. He even uses the word "ring" in an attempt to confuse poor Peter Gilmour.

No, really... he tried to out-wit Peter Gilmour by simply tossing Peter's gay jokes back at him... and using the word "ring" to make Peter feel stupid.

As if Peter doesn't already feel stupid the millisecond he opens his eyes every morning.

Quote:So what am I, Peter? Gay or straight? Make up your goddamn mind. Unless you want me to be gay for you. Come on over to The Village sometime. I'm sure we could find someone to fuck you in the ass as hard as I will tonight, in the ring. See, there's wit, Peter. Ring. Understand? No? Didn't think so.

Yeah; you know who else didn't understand? Anybody who is as easily bored with your monotone, colorless revilement as you are with watching Sebastian Duke assaulted by my servants.

"See, there's wit, Peter. Ring. Understand? No? Didn't think so." — Yes, those really are Mystica's words... directly to Peter Gilmour. After Peter had delivered his usual, confusing, conflicting banter; riddled with homosexual and incapable insults that rival the most clever 3rd grader. I've known Peter for only a short matter of time now, and even I know that his own words defeat himself so thoroughly that anything any of his opponents say to him is already falling on dead ears. So yes... good job, Mysica. I applaud you for outsmarting Peter Gilmour so thoroughly that he is unaware of your existence beyond your role as a mute Congregation servant.

Dead ears, Myscia... much like my own ears will be if I'm subjected to much more of your illogical refuse.

Dead.

Like Mystica's charisma.

Like Mystica's looks.

Why is it that I can find a man such as Steve Sayors more attractive and more charismatic than this lowly Congregation servant? Insulting one's looks is about as petty as you can get, so by all means Mystica... stop allowing yourself to look like you've had a lobotomy and are staring at headlights coming toward you to end your miserable existence. Fix yourself up... I'll even supply you with some gold if you need help.

Am I simplifying my insults enough for you, Mystica? I want you to feel confident that you've put Peter Gilmour in his place and I want you to also give me your retort regarding the fact that you insult yourself daily with your mere appearance. I don't think I could have made this any easier for you.

Why am I making it easy for you? I'm returning the favor.

You see, if I skip past your noneffective banter toward Peter Gilmour... If I somehow can make it through your unique onslaught of fat jokes, gay jokes, and "I'm rubber you're glue" style defense against a man with Pete's intellect; I finally get to the real meat of your speech.

Quote:And then we have Team Wildcard. See, interesting thing about the term "wildcard." It's meant to say that the "wildcard" of a particular event hasn't qualified for such an honour. And these three haven't qualified in the slightest.

Ah, yes... and if I started new thoughts or sentences with "and," I would probably respond with something like...

And yet another word Mystica doesn't understand the definition of. Even after the display on Monday Madness, he doesn't understand what the Wildcards truly are. We are that change in nature that brings forth many things, starting with a simple gust of wind that so easily has knocked the unstable Mystica off balance. How does Mystica go on to claim I am nothing without my servants?

How could he insult Eli like that?

Is Eli really nothing without his servants? His brainless, beaten, slave of the mist?

How many losses, dear Mystica luv, on your record are a direct result of your failures to best your own leader? How easily it must be to convert you into slavery, you young minded warrior. Tell me... after I have defeated you more times than Eli, will you then come home to me? Will I be able to call Mystica my mindless, bland, almost useless slave if I can claim more wins over you than Eli has? You said it yourself, Mystica... you are of the most useless of the entire Congregation.

Quote:See, you, and almost everyone else mentioned, like to just categorize me into the giant, collective safety phrase, of the Congregation. I am more than the Congregation, luv. I barely contact the rest of them.

This wasn't said to me directly but was said to my team mate. It's still interesting, however, to look at the translated version of what Mystica just admitted to us all.

Quote:See, you, and almost everyone else mentioned, have accused me of being Congregation above all else. I am hardly Congregation, luv. I am barely even in contact with them, save for when a task needs doing that no other member will dirty their hands with. I'm the guy at the back of the Congregation phone book; I don't get invited to actual functions and I am not permitted to weigh in on any pertinent issues.

Do you know what I wish you would have weighed in on, though? You went ahead and called Cam Lang's recent loss of memory a complete scam... surely, according to Mystica, Cam Lang can't really be suffering from any loss of memory because there are some memories he seems to recall... there are inconsistencies.

I wish that logic applied to reality; I really do, because then I myself would be able to restore 100% of my own memories based on the simple fact that I'm partially aware of some.

Beyond calling Cam Lang a scam though; I wish Mystica would have used that same attack on me. I am a former ruler of a land far superior to anything this world has seen... and I've announced this on more than one occasion. While my past royalty is of course true, I would have expected a childish mind such as Mystica's to attack my history and claim to not "buy it."

Mystica, you're confusing which insults should go to which party and you're burying yourself if you think starting your verbal tirade with Gilmour fat jokes is going to take you anywhere.

Poor servant.

I guess your master, Eli, really hasn't done a thing for you since taking you under his command. Shame on you, Eli. How could you let your own bumbling servant go out in front of the world and make the entire Congregation look so sad?

I thought that was Callaway's job.