Admin note: I will be posting rayne's roleplays for him as he does not have posting access currently. Everything below is his work, as is. I have not read it yet or made any edits.

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[ooc note-- the following is the first of four parts. beginning tonight... and ending the day of Shove-it. hope you all enjoy... btw, a little into writing this, my meds kicked in, and i started feeling tired and depressed, so i had to wrap it up. more to come...]





He stood within his Big Comfy Chair, gazing at his gargantuan tv set... he stared at the promo he had recorded a few hours ago.

This raYne... the one upon his tv set... he couldn't believe this was him.

He felt deep within his heart, that this couldn't possibly be him... It was a mirage. This darkness he heard within his voice, and saw within his very own eyes... it MUST be an illusion...

... right?

The camera shows raYne focusing intently on the tv, wearing the same clothes he had worn the other day to meet with Crystal... the gal he thought he might have a future with... but whom ditched him in front of a resteraunt filled with glares and disgust, aimed toward him.

His hair was now dyed ice blue, and tied into twin ponytails. He sits with one leg crossed over the other, and... he gulps. His eyes look on in horror as this image of himself speaks with ferocity in its voice...

"... Who am I..."

His only words... he stands up, and begins to walk toward a door, which leads into his bedroom. He sits down at a desk, and removes a book from a drawer... he sets the book upon the desk's surface, and pulls out a pen. He opens the book, and stares down at the blank pages for a moment... as if lost in a trance...

"... Alex. ... I'm sorry. About all of those things I said...

"Sometimes... I feel as if I'm two people.

"... sometimes, I feel as if I'm many, many more.

"This... is my diary. Each time something happens within my life that I wish to remember... I write it down.

"But this time... there's something I wish for you to remember. So I'm writing it down, and I'm sending it to you...

The camera turns and draws in closer, so we may see what he writes upon the pages...


"Dear Alex--

Many moons ago... there was this woman. Her name... was Alexis. You, my dear... you remind me of her. Ever so much. You are different from most... you are unique. As was she. You both walk your own path... no matter what anyone may say... including myself. And you loved someone... just as she did.

She loved a man that had changed...
... just as you did.

Nova... he reminds me... of me.

A being that once was so different... yet fragments remain.

Fragments of the past.

Fragments we move away from...
... yet the more we move?
The closer we come to what we left behind.

And just as you have returned to what you once were...
... so did she.

I wish for you to remember something Alex...



... whatever may transpire over the next few months time?

Remember... I Believe, deep down within... Nova still loves you...

... and no matter what may happen...

I don't hate you.
It will appear as if I do.

Things will change.
I will change.

But deep within...
I hate no one.
But there is this being...
... this darkness ...
Which festers inside of me.

I dual with myself...
I fight myself...

But the true me...
... the one born from love, and not hate masked as "Love"...

... that is the one that will rise above.

In the end...
It is the only one that knows how to.

ego me bello -- iAm in a war against myself.

-- "The raYne Storm", $hane-o-mac Bry

~ ~ ~

raYne finishes the letter, rips it from the book, and walks out of the room... on his way to the post office.

~ to be continued ~