After I leave my hospital room, I limp through the hallways. The more I walk, the looser things become and the easier it gets to walk. I find a set of stairs and I climb and I climb until I reach the top. I bust through a large steel door that empties out onto the roof.


I walk to the edge of the building and climb onto the ledge.


I stare down at all the pedestrians that look like nothing more then ants walking around on the sidewalks below. I've made the decision to change my life completely. All at once the wind picks up. I stretch my arms out and I raise my head toward the sky with my eyes closed.


The wind that could easily knock me off balance and send my plunging to my death engulfs me. I feel as if it's cleansing my very soul of the evil that lurks inside my body.


I smile in the Darkness.


I feel at peace with myself.


I know what must be done. I need to make my peace with God.

---

In all my thirty years, I've never stepped foot inside any church, let alone the one that has been a thorn in my very side for as long as I can remember. It needs to be done. So, after I left the roof of the hospital and put on some clothes I walked around Boston until I found what I was looking for.


St. Joseph Catholic Church.


I stare up at the enormous structure for what seems like an hour, yet it was only seconds, before venturing inside. After I enter, the doors close behind me with a loud clang. I see a man up ahead at the altar. My sworn enemy. A man of the cloth. As I approach, he finally turns his attention toward me.



FATHER KILEY: “What can I do for...”



I can only assume a man of my immense size can be somewhat bewildering to an unsuspecting person.



FATHER KILEY: “What can I do for you?”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “I want to make my peace with God.”

FATHER KILEY: “Well! That can be arranged. Do you belong to this parish?”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “No. I do not. I'm from Connecticut, actually. I'm in town visiting a sick friend.”



So, do priests know when you're lying? Anyhow, this isn't exactly starting off so well.



FATHER KILEY: “Shall we pray for him?”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “No, he's a non-believer.”

FATHER KILEY: “I don't see why that makes any...”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “He can't stand hypocrisy. If we prayed for him, it'd be like slapping this man in the face. Trust me, Father. This isn't a guy you want to slap in the face.”

FATHER KILEY: “I see. Why do you want to make peace with Him?”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Let's just say that He and I have been.... at war..... for lack of a better term.”

FATHER KILEY: “Well, my son. We all know that God works in...”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Spare me the bible thumper bullshit!”



Yeah, not going well at all.



FATHER KILEY: “I suppose the first step in making your peace with Him would be to confess your sins and allow the healing to begin.”



Shit.



SEBASTIAN DUKE: “My sins?”

FATHER KILEY: “Sure! We're a world full of sinners.”



Father Kiley leads me over to the confessional booth. I take an awkward, very uncomfortable seat in the booth. He sits in the booth next to me and slides that brass screen thing.



SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Where should I start?”

FATHER KILEY: “Wherever you like.”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Wait. You can't tell anyone what I tell you, right?”

FATHER KILEY: “My son. I'm sure its not that bad and besides, I'm sure I've heard worse.”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Well, you asked for it. I once burned alive an actor portraying Jesus Christ. I burned alive an innocent man I thought to be a traitor. I hung a man that was actually a traitor, and killed those that followed him. And I also killed my fiancee and my unborn daughter.”



The silence is deafening.



FATHER KILEY: “I don't think there's enough Hail Mary's for this.”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “In all seriousness. I want to change. My girlfriend is pregnant and I want to be a good role model for my son. I don't want him to grow up and see me continuing to do the things I've done. I don't want him to follow in my footsteps.

“I want him to grow up and lead my Broth... to be the heir to my throne, so to speak.”

FATHER KILEY: “Do you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Not now. Not ever. Like I said, I just wanted to make peace with Him.”

FATHER KILEY: “You do acknowledge He does exist?”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “In a manner of speaking.”

FATHER KILEY: “I feel like there is good in you, dying to be let out.”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Are you only saying that because I'm a highly skilled, dangerous, giant of a man compared to you and I could snap your neck like a twig?”

FATHER KILEY: “That thought crossed my mind, yes.”

SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Father, I'm not here to accept your God. That never crossed my mind. I'm only here to end my war, so to speak, with Him. So we can both move on. I've done that. Now, it's time for me to go.”

FATHER KILEY: “My son, please, come see me again.”



I don't respond. I just turn around and walk away. I have a lot of things on my mind. None of those can be settled by hanging around this damn church. None of them can be settled by talking to this man of the cloth. No, it's all on me. I've made my peace. It's time to move on and change my life forever. I'm going to become a father. Caitlyn is a beautiful person, inside and out. The father of her child, needs to be a good man. To her, and to our son.