The wonderful taste of infant on the tongue is exhillirating.

The rush of having consumed an innocent soul and picked apart the slender, fatty tissue and gorged upon it... hmmm... it's a miraculous high.

My favorite bits are when you get to the eyeballs. Newborn oculars are a lot more tender then a grown adult's.

I love the primordial tailbone as well... sometimes, from Asia, the babies have tails and I get to suck the succulent meat right off of it.

They have a special discount delivery service to hell.

'Shai-Hawng' still can't drive though. Everytime he comes around my corner to give us the 'drop', he nails the curb and sometimes the babies fall off the back of his truck by the bushel.

Suddenly, all kinds of little black kids in 80's gear run up and tear off at breakneck speed, dead babies clutched underarm.

One such dead baby... was Chasm.

Can't you tell? The dull, lifeless eyes... the perpetual shades hiding them because he can't stand anything but the darkness... the pallor of his flesh... his lust for chinese toddler--- *ahem*... umm... other such attributes?

I was going to eat Chasm on a lunch break about 30 years ago - however, Steve Jason showed up and declared himself God King of the Universe and forbid the practice of baby-eating. *

*This was political gesturing - Steve Jason is a soulless lech, hording all the babies for himself, sateeing them in BBQ and what he calls 'Roo Sauce.

(Cut to an image of Steve Jason jacking off a cowering Kangaroo.)

In the end, here in Hell, we're a lively bunch. On Tuesdays, we all have to stand in a line perpetually 'punching in our timeclock' for no reason. We do this all day and each moment seems like hours... well, it actually is because time moves oddly down here but.. well, you get the point. Once, I was behind this black girl named Shaniqua, whom couldn't figure out how to punch her timeclock...

... it was her 967th time doing so that DAY!

So I grabbed the timeclock and beat her to death with it.

Now she's in Hell's Hell.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is played on an omni-present screen (think iMax), 24/7.

I can't tell you the stats on suicide...

... it'd make you kill yourself.

Looking at Chasm is making me feel kinda twitchy, actually.

You know how I cure twitchiness in Hell?

I whack off.

So I pull out my big ol' schlong and slap it across Chasm's smooth, bald skull.

Let the good times a roll...