NARRATOR: “It's a warm, sunny day in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. The birds are chirping. A slight breeze blows in from the Atlantic. That right there? That's the Compound. That man? That's your Angel of Darkness himself, Sebastian Duke.

“He walks calmly from the front doors of the Compound toward his garage. As he enters the garage he looks around as if he hears something unfamiliar to him. He climbs into his old beat up truck and starts the engine.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Where the hell is that coming from?”


NARRATOR: “A simple click of the small electronic device attached to the visor in the cab of the truck allows the garage door to open nice and smooth.

“Hello Sebastian.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Um... hi.”


NARRATOR: “He looks around the cab momentarily before pulling out of the garage.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Where the hell are you?”


NARRATOR: “Just pay attention to the road, Mr. Duke.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Why are you here? Are you Croaton?”


NARRATOR: “Croaton? Who's Croaton?”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Never mind.”


NARRATOR: “I'm here because you lost a bet.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Bet? What bet?”


NARRATOR: “Months ago, you bet Luca Arzegotti you'd never have a narrator. So, here I am.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Well, I still don't have a narrator.”


NARRATOR: “Actually, you do. For three days.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “How? Why?”


NARRATOR: “Luca sent me.

“Anyhow, our favorite Angel of Darkness is driving entirely too fast! Do you really think you should be going 80 in a 45 zone?”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Absolutely.”


NARRATOR: “Well, I should war...”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “You should what?”


NARRATOR: “Nothing. Never mind.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “I'm gonna kill that little prick!”


NARRATOR: “Oh, look! It's a cop that you just blazed passed.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Shit! You knew he was there, didn't you!?”


NARRATOR: “Of course.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Why didn't you warn me?”


NARRATOR: “Our Angel pulls it over... Because, Mr. Duke, I still work for your enemy.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Okay, he's coming. Put a lid on it.”


NARRATOR: “Here comes the good officer now.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “I said shut up!”


OFFICER: “License, registration, proof of insurance?”


NARRATOR: “Our Angel reaches toward his glovebox.”


OFFICER: “Who was that?”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “It was just the radio.”


OFFICER: “Is someone else in the vehicle with you, sir?”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “No, sir. I promise, just the radio.”


NARRATOR: “Our Angel hands over his information to the officer.”


OFFICER: “Are you sure, there's no one else with you?”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, it's a regular cab, so, where could someone else actually be.”


OFFICER: “Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Actually, I have a pretty good idea.”


OFFICER: “I clocked you at 80 miles per... OH SHIT! You're Sebastian Duke! My son fucking loves you!”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “That's nice. That means a lot to me.”


OFFICER: “I'm going to let you off with a warning, but please, slow it down.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “I will officer. Hey, would your son like an autograph?”


OFFICER: “Y'know? He'd love that! I have a notebook in my cruiser. Hang tight.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Thanks for staying quiet, Narrator.”


NARRATOR: “I SMELL BACON!”

“Annnnnnd the cop heard me.”


OFFICER: “Bacon, sir? You have jokes? Expect a nice hefty fine in the mail. I won't be allowing my son to watch you on Wednesday nights anymore. Here's your information back.”


NARRATOR: “The kind officer walks back to his cruiser.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “I fucking hate you, you know that?”


NARRATOR: “I figured you would.... Annnd he's looking for me under the seat.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Where the hell are you.”


NARRATOR: “Everywhere and nowhere.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “That really doesn't make any sense.”


NARRATOR: “Meh, just roll with it.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Look, I'm going to see Caitlyn, so when I get there, can you just be quiet?”


NARRATOR: “You were already in the glove box. Why would you think I'd be in there?

“Shit. Mr. Duke you should pay attention to the road!”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Shut up. I'm going to find you.”


NARRATOR: “Duke! You're about to...”









CRASH!


NARRATOR: “I tried to warn you.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “MOTHER FUCK!”


NARRATOR: “For the love of God, Duke! I'm not in your fucking truck!

“Our Angel climbs out of the truck to check on the people in the car he just hit.

“Wow. She's huge. Y'know, fat people really shouldn't drive tiny cars. It just makes them look even bigger.

“Oh, Oh God... She just maced him! He's on the ground! He's yelling obscenities! The large woman is getting out of the car. She's swinging her purse at Mr. Duke.

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH right in the mommy daddy button!

“Oh, oh shit... You remember that officer from earlier?

“He's back.”


OFFICER: “Well, well, well. What do we have here? Mr. Duke, it looks like I get to add assault and reckless driving to your speeding from earlier.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “What the hell are you talking about!? She assaulted me! And I wasn't reckless! As you can plainly see, I definitely wrecked!”


OFFICER: “I got a badge that says I saw the whole thing.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “You got nothing!”


OFFICER: “Get off the ground. You're making this look bad.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Fuck off!”


OFFICER: “The way I see it, you got some anger in ya! Like maybe a little 'roid rage. You assaulted this poor woman here, she just defended herself.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “That's not even close to true! She...”


OFFICER: “SHUT UP! Now!

“I'd be willing to drop the assault charge if you apologize for referring to me as a pig.”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “Fine! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!”


OFFICER: “Now, Mr. Duke, get back in your truck, and head the other way. You're in no condition to drive.”


NARRATOR: “Well... it looks like the Duke Boy narrowly escaped the law this time!”


SEBASTIAN DUKE: “SHUT! THE FUCK! UP!”