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iamthekidyouknowwhatimean · (10-03-2024)

'The Divine Golem'

DAVID DOE

Real Name: D'ognn'thastyishyll'laxrzaodrr'thulbh (David Doe, for short.)

Wrestler Age/Date of Birth: His age is both infinite and insignificant. An elder god trapped in the body of a 20-year-old. Ancient. Immortal. Timeless. Yet, in this world, just a new-born.

Height: 5'10" — a vessel ill-suited for cosmic power. The height of an ordinary man, yet holding the weight of the stars in his frame.

Weight: 175 lbs. They laugh at his size. If only they knew. Weight is just a number, a trivial concept to something that has felt the pull of gravity from a thousand different worlds.

Hometown: Inconceivable unlit chambers beyond time. There are no maps to where David is from. There is only madness, and the void.

Alignment: None. David Doe serves no master, no morality. Neutrality in its purest form. He isn’t good or evil. He just is.

Pic Base: Satoru Gojo

Backstory/Important Character Details: Imagine being an elder god, a cosmic force beyond human comprehension, trapped in the body of a 20-year-old. No history, no legacy in this realm. Just an empty shell filled with otherworldly potential. David Doe has no memories, no past — he's barely had time to grasp what the "present" even means. Everything around him is new and baffling. He looks at everything like a new-born, wide-eyed and yet, deep down, there's something dark swirling inside him.

Strengths:

Inhuman Speed and Strength
The body may appear mortal, but it’s not. David moves faster than thought. His strikes, fuelled by something ancient and raw, hit with the force of the stars. His opponents don’t know it, but they’re fighting something far beyond them.

Durability of the Outer Realms
You could tear him apart, break him, burn him and he'd still press forward. The laws of physics are suggestions, not rules. The concept of pain is a distant, alien thing. He can’t feel it the same way you do. He won’t stop because it simply... doesn’t occur to him to stop.

Weaknesses:

Technical Incompetence
Imagine being a god and not knowing how to use your body. It's like asking a shark to play the piano. Every wrestling move looks awkward, like he’s mimicking what he sees around him but without understanding. He’s an easy target for anyone who knows the basics.

Newborn Naiveté
David sees this world like a child. Bright, confusing, and full of things he doesn’t understand. He’s easily tricked, easily baited, and will attempt ludicrous stunts because he simply doesn’t know better, like a toddler reaching out to touch a burning flame.

Entrance Theme Music - Sadness - i want to be with you

Ring Entrance:
The arena plunges into darkness as eerie, otherworldly whispers fill the air, gradually rising in intensity. A dim, pulsing blue light illuminates the stage casting strange twisting shadows as "Sadness - i want to be with you" begins to play, its melancholic notes resonating through the venue. As the haunting melody builds a figure slowly emerges from the mist - David Doe, The Divine Golem. His face is calm and expressionless, yet there's a faint, unsettling glow in his eyes as though they pierce through dimensions unseen.

David strides down the ramp with an almost childlike curiosity, his head tilting as he surveys the crowd as if experiencing this reality for the first time. His steps are measured, deliberate, each footfall echoing ominously. He pauses before entering the ring, glancing at the ropes with a quizzical expression before awkwardly slipping through them.

Once inside, he moves to the centre of the ring, standing perfectly still as the lights return to normal. For a moment, he simply gazes around, as if waiting for the next incomprehensible challenge.

In-Ring Style: Power and speed merchant. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but it doesn’t matter. The sheer speed and strength of his attacks are beyond comprehension. It’s raw, it’s primal. Like watching a lion play with a ball of yarn, fascinated by something it could easily destroy without effort.

10 or More Standard Moves:
Wild Lariat
Sling Blade
Spinning Back Kick
Snap Suplex (though it’s more “flinging a body”)
Flying Knee
Big Boot
Thrusting Palm Strike
Dropkick
Headbutt
Standard punches and kicks - his main artillery.

Trademark Move:
The Holy Cleaver.
A clothesline so brutal it feels like the hammer of an angry god descending. David’s version of the Clothesline from Hell.

The Falling Star of the Seraphim
A flying elbow drop with ridiculous reach. Despite his awkwardness, it feels like he’s falling forever before the impact hits.

Finishing Move:
Infinite Void.
A time-bending, reality-shattering superkick. To the naked eye, it looks like just a superkick, but those struck by it claim time itself slows before the blow lands, as if they see their entire life flash before their eyes.

Favorite Hardcore Attacks/Spots:
David doesn’t start with weapons, but if you bring one into play? Oh, it’s his now. And he won’t just use it - he’ll wield it with reckless abandon, confused but relentless in his pursuit of smashing your skull to mush.

Additional Notes - These build the heart of what makes David, David. Not so much the moves, but the vibe.

No Concept of Victory or Defeat: Winning or losing doesn’t compute. After a match, he sometimes stands there confused, staring at the referee or his fallen opponent as if waiting for further instructions. It’s not about triumph or failure, it’s about the experience

Accidental Intimidation: David doesn't try to scare people, but when you spend your time staring silently at people like you’re deciding which dimension to banish them to, it just kinda happens. He’s basically a walking, talking unsettling aura.

Unpredictable Emotional Reactions: A steel chair smashes him square in the face... and he smiles. But when a bell rings? Full panic mode. He smiles not because he enjoys it necessarily, but more out of curiosity for the new experience.

Clumsy, yet Elegant: David moves with the awkwardness of someone unfamiliar with their body, but in battle his reflexes are strangely fluid. His dodges and counters seem instinctive as if his body is connected to something beyond the physical, but he has no control over when this gracefulness occurs. One second, he’s tripping over the ring ropes like they personally offended him. The next? He’s dodging punches with the grace of a ballet dancer on fast-forward.

Tag Match Novice: David frequently ignores the ropes in tag-team matches, wandering into the ring whenever something interesting happens. He doesn’t tag himself in or out and must be physically pushed to the corner by his partners or the ref and gets puzzled at why his team mates keep trying to incessantly slap his hand.

Gets Distracted by Small Things: He may pause mid-match to inspect the ropes, his opponent’s gear, or even a light flickering in the arena. These moments of distraction often leave him vulnerable but they also unsettle his opponents, unsure of whether he’s toying with them or genuinely lost in his own world.

Zero Sense of Time: In David's mind, the match is more like a cosmic play that has no set runtime. He might try to perform a long, dramatic setup for a move only for his opponent to politely remind him, with a punch, that they’ve got other things to do today. When he does move fast, it’s like he just remembered time exists and is now overcompensating.

Taunting Immunity: Trying to taunt or cheat David is like trying to trash-talk a boulder. He just tilts his head and stares like you’ve asked him to solve a Rubik’s cube. Is this supposed to hurt his feelings? Does he have feelings? Either way, mind games are wasted on him.

Pain?: David doesn't flinch at strikes or submissions. He may acknowledge pain as a physical sensation, but it doesn’t deter him. Sometimes, after taking a particularly brutal hit, he’ll touch the spot curiously, as if trying to understand why his body isn’t working correctly.

Creative Pin Attempts: David doesn’t quite get the idea of a finish in wrestling. He’ll attempt to pin someone by gently draping an arm over them, or he might just sit on them like they’re an uncomfortable couch cushion. The ref usually hesitates, not sure if this counts as a pin or if David’s just taking a breather.

Copycat: David loves copying moves he’s just seen, but he’s terrible at it. If his opponent does a moonsault, you can bet David will try it right after, only to land on his face with the grace of a falling fridge.

Drawn to Chaos: Weapons, tables, ladders, literal chaos? David's there. Not because he understands what’s going on, but because the sheer unpredictability fascinates him. Hand him a chair and watch as he first tries to sit on it then finally remembers it’s for smashing heads.

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