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Misty Waters · (09-04-2024)

IIN THE BEGINNING! There was nothing….

(but this voiceover)

Why the fuck ain’t YER title on the line!?

“If you’d quit crying like Tim Walz’ doughy idiot offspring for a second, you’ll realize the great opportunity that lays before us.”

Oh yeah, what’s that?!

“Baby….

…..we’re gonna stop the steal.”

From there the shot transitions so fast you’re liable to get whiplash! But before you can call your personal injury attorney we’re treated to the sight of Madison Dyson and Misty Waters standing on a makeshift podium. Behind them, some Daytona Beach palm trees sway in the warm air.

Madison, standing before a microphone, defiantly pounds one fist into her open palm. “Ladies and gentlemen, we are here to stop ANOTHER theft of EGREGIOUS magnitude. Misty Waters…”

Madison helpfully points back at Misty.

“...is being made to defend her Xtreme championship on Anarchy for a SECOND time. The problem? She’s only required to defend it ONCE on Anarchy! And this illicit unnecessary defense? A THREE ON TWO HANDICAP MATCH!”[/purple]

A smattering of boos follows from, well, a handful of people wearing “Stop the Steal” t-shirts below them.

“Now YOU, you brave January 6th patriots, are humbly being called into action yet again. On September 5th 2024, you’re going to storm the Ocean Center during our match and STOP THIS STEAL!”

The small crowd below them starts chanting “Stop the Steal!” as Misty sidles up next to Madison and speaks quietly at her side.

I kinda thought there’d be more of ‘em.

[purple“Yeah, well, these were the only January 6th rioters I could dig up that aren’t in prison under Federal indictment. Besides, there’s plenty of ‘em”[/purple]

There’s like, five.

Yah huh. Can we even be sure they’re legit?

“Oh they’re legit all right! Carl there was right next to the guy who tazed himself in the balls and had a heart attack. Now here.” Madison grabs the mic off the stand and pushes it into Misty’s hands. “Rile ‘em up into a patriotic kill frenzy of epic proportions!”

Misty seizes the means of the podium and peers out into the crowd of red blooded patriots waiting with frothing lips,

40 days ago I started this XTreme campaign to heal our sick and dying wrestling industry, and our sick and dying country from the poison that’s infected our blood - and lemme tell ya’ something - when I look out into this crowd of true believers in the MAGA Powers-

she scans her finger across the mostly empty landscape and over the five rioters

-I’m reminded of why The Madness runs deep, why this campaign is so important: It was treacherous and fateful afternoon, Jan 6th, you patriots saw an injustice unfolding before yer’ eyes…

A TAKING!

A THEFT!

AN AMPUTATION! - OF OUR FUNDAMENTAL FREEDOMS!

The crowd starts getting fired up, rah-rahing along to Misty’s words,

You beautiful men and women, you purveyors of righteousness- she fawns over the audience of literal insurrectionists - you fought like hell on that hallowed day. You sprung to action and exposed the deep-state radical communists, people trying to turn our children into woke bible hating, flag hating mobs!

Though the battle was lost that day, the war rages on…

…THEIR next plan of attack?!

Misty thrusts the XWF Xtreme Championship into the air

Our opportunity to bring the XWF back to the TRUE Americans!

The elites in XWF are scared, they’re on the ropes, doing everything in their power to keep their swamplands ripe with disgusting animals like Molester Mike Graves, and Miss Floozie Furry

heard of her folks?

Floozie Furry?

No need remind anyone about Molester Mike

But Miss Floozie?

A woman who screamed with joy when my dcommunist granddaughter Dolly joined BOB?

Even louder than she screamed when the Deep State’s Deep Throat, CCP, was throating her, swindling BOBs profits out from under her lonely puss?

Their plan for -MY- our movement right now is not only criminal…

IT’S UNPRECEDENTED

In 40 days folks

Misty motions to Madison who gleefully produces a series large poster boards,

We’ve accomplished more than ANY OTHER Xtreme Title Reign in modern history-

Madison holds the first board in the air,

Just days after beginning our campaign, I was unceremoniously booked to defend against a couple of LOSERS. Look how the official card! Striking the traditional tag rules match, and making it an Xtreme one with MY championship headlining.

What happened?

The XWF’s contingency fell at the feet of the MAGA Powers.

Yet they keep trying to steal it from us- the promise that is the X-Championship- to shake the foundations of this trembling, corrupt wrestling federation!

Over the last 4 years there have been 45 X-Champions in the XWF?

Only three have ever won THE CASE

ALIAS…? Mr. False Prophet? Where’d he go?

Caedus?

L oh-fuckin- L

L after L that’s fer’ certain- - -

- - after L, after L, after alliterating himself right out of reality…

…and the third one to win a case?

Mark Flynn.

He was handed a 24/7 Case after only 5 defenses in 70 days?!

Beating the likes of MS13-Reggie, and Molester-Mike, and Viagra-cock-Doc?! The same “man” Dolly maimed at WarGames?

Flynn, a Deep State serpent who’s teaming with Theo, and more worried about a position in the corrupt XWF management then serving YOU, the FANS!?

Folks,I gotta tell ya. What they’re doing to me? It’s a STEAL the likes of which no one has ever seen!

-In just over 40 days I will have defended this Championship 4 times-

Dyson flips through the snapshots of Official XWF Cards

-A FEAT NEVER BEFORE ACCOMPLISHED IN THE HISTORY OF THE XWF!-

And yet, look at the new official count on the XWF website, UPDATED JUST TODAY!

They’re trying to usurp The MAGA Powers with a gender swapping degenerate like Molester Mike! Their same old corrupt playbook of sacrificing some idiot they can feed to their next big star at Relentless!

Did you know he hung out with Epstein…

MULTIPLE TIMES?!

It’s in his vignettes folks- and Miss Floozie?

A woman willing to give her God-granted birthing canals over to Mike like they were something to bargain.

THEY’RE SICK! This two-on-three scam on Anarchy to deny YOU- fine working folks the dignity and decency of a true 24/7 Champion! A handicap match, indeed, OOOOOH YEEEEEEAH! Because with Yer’ help! We’re gonna’ make sure these three commies will never walk again!!!

The crowd is going ape shit.

Madison can barely contain herself. She rubs Misty’s shoulder enthusiastically and takes the microphone,

Oh, Gravy, Gravy, Gravy. How the “mighty” have fallen. Big fuckin’ quotation marks around “mighty” there, bee tee dubs. Oh, I just did it again too. You know why? I’ll tell ya why. Because the “legend” (damn, hat trick!) of Graves falls apart under the most cursory of scrutiny.

Ya see my true patriots, when you take stock of Michael Graves seven year career here in the XWF, well, ya don’t come up with much. In fact, ya come up with just under six months time as a champion. Six months in seven years. And his longest reign?

Anarchy Internet Champion.

Yes folks, his most lauded reign was two months with Anarchy’s third most prestigious championship. And, side bar, what the fuck is an “Internet championship” anyway? A measure of how much time you spend in incognito mode whackin’ the weasel? A measure of how much time you spend writing Supernatural fan fiction for an audience of four? A measure of the amount of time Mark Flynn spends jerking himself off over his own ELO score, which I have on good authority, is a completely arbitrary number anyhow?

I have almost as much time logged as a champion in the XWF as Graves does, and I’ve been a fucking MANAGER most of my career! Not to mention the fact that I was the 2020 King of the Ring, an accomplishment that neither Graves nor Flynn can claim. Not to mention the fact that in that same amount of time I managed TWO Universal Champions.

Gravy, Gravy, Gravy….

And how I talked you up just a few weeks ago too! How I propped you up as an alpha male who, contrary to that abject COWARD Mark Flynn, actually had the stones to take a shot at me.

And what did you do with that hype?

You got your shit pushed in by Oz. OZ!

Lemme tell ya a little something about Oz, and “men” (quatro!) like him. Oz is a FUCKEE, not a FUCK-ER. Oz is the kind of guy who, despite being three times my size, gets tossed over the top rope by the Madison Dyson’s of the world. Oz is the kind of guy whose record is somehow even more pathetic than Michael Graves’.

In short, Oz is a FUCKING LOSER.

And you, Mikey, got your pucker hole absolutely reamed out by him. You even beat him in the match, only to get your spine snapped like dry kindling by the same man you just bested in the ring. The same man who has absolutely no place DESTROYING ANYONE because he is the shining epitome of a BETA MALE.

So ya know what Michael? Consider your Alpha Male card….REVOKED!

Misty slaps her cheeks in mock surprise. REVOKED?!

Yes! REVOKED! Because the moment you get mounted and dry humped by a beta like Oz, there is truly no other option.

But what happens when a man is so thoroughly humbled by a beta male?

Well, I’m glad you asked that, Misty. Now, my Greek alphabet may be a little rusty, but I’d say they fall down a few pegs on the alphabet. I’m thinking below a Cent, maybe even below a Mike, all the way down to a MARK.

Yes, Gravy, you are officially on par with Mark Flynn. A pale imitation of manhood that sat clutching his shriveled penis in his hand, doughing himself up on popcorn, while someone else did his dirty work. A veritable VAGINA of a human that was too weak to get his own hands dirty and engage in that most American of past times, shooting a public figure in the back!

Of course all of this is pretty much moot. Graves is way too injured to compete. Meaning he's essentially just a FALSE FLAG for the real bullshit they have in store! Who knows, maybe Jett plans to have us take on the whole Anarchy roster at once as opposed to just Graves two jabronis! Which is why, more than ever, it is vital that we STOP THIS STEAL!

Setting off another chorus of “Stop the Steal” from those in attendance!

We’re never gonna’ concede!

We’re gonna’ march down to the Ocean Center, we’re going to stop this steal...

I’ll be with you every step of the way!

Later on…

The XTreme MAGA Five thunder into the south entrance of the Ocean Center,

“WE ARE THE STORM!” They chant in tandem, while barrelling in on an unsuspecting group of internet wrestling fans wearing niche Darren Dangerous, NKWC and Ham Sandwich shirts. The scene morphs into a buzzsaw of violence and confusion. One innocent fan is bludgeoned in the skull with the tip of a flag spike. There’s crying and screams as the flash grenades bang, and the heavy smoke bombs cloud the area.

“THIS IS OUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT!” Another man screams as he strangles a security officer from behind, “PEACEFUL PROTEST!” He roars again, just before gutting the security officer with a bowie knife, spilling his intestines on the floor of the Ocean Center.

Holy fuck!

“Shhhh!” Madison covers Misty’s mouth and pulls her away from the conflict, hiding the two of them behind a trashcan while an effigy of Michael Graves ignites in flames.Whats next? Misty whispers along the deafening sounds of murder and mayhem, “Nothing… you run again next year with the XTreme Title if we need to.”

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode PlaceMarker STOP THE STEAL... forreal.
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