We see Them No Good Bastards, Bobby Bourbon and Thunder Knuckles, the modern day highwaymen standing in a kitchen together.

Look, bro, you'll love this, I did science for you!

Bro, I appreciate it, but fuck science in it's ass.

Not this science. You'll like this science. It's called...

Bastardshine!

...Bobby, what the fuck is Bastardshine!

You've never heard of Bastardshine?

How the fuck would I hear about Bastardshine if you just invented it?

Bobby pauses for a moment, scratching his chin, before looking back up at TK.

Right, you're right.

Well, I know you're forgetful, Bobby.

Sometimes, but that's knowing so much.

We know.

Cool. So why are we in a kitchen again?

Bastardshine.

Right! You'll love it! What flavor do you want?

What flavor? I like beer, Bobby, not no sugary froo-froo drink.

Bro, I'm working on beer flavor, just bear with me. Do you like pink lemonade?

Fuck no!

Bobby reaches into his pocket and pulls out a few packets of powdered drink mix.

I have pink lemonade and Purplesaurus Rex.

Purplesaurus Rex! I love the fuck out of that shit!

Perfect.

Bobby then reaches under the counter, smiling at the camera as he does. TK's surly expression never wavers. Bobby pulls a gallon jug of medical grade ethanol out from under the counter.

The fuck is that?

Well, it's our secret ingredient!

Bobby twists open the cap of the gallon jug. He peels back the opening of the Purplesaurus Rex drink mix and pours it into the gallon jug. Halfway, he notices he also tore open the pink lemonade mix, so he checks to see if TK had noticed. TK is not even watching, still mugging the camera.

Meh.

What?

Nothing.

Finished pouring the powdered drink mix into what is essentially fuel, Bobby begins to shake.

You want me to drink that fuckin' shit?

TK looks disgusted.

It don't even have ice, it's warm!

TK looks disgusted for the wrong reason.

This cost me a grand total of thirty-seven dollars to make.

Who fuckin' cares, bro! I can take thirty-seven dollars to the liquor store!

Uh huh. This is 190 proof.

TK's jaw goes slack as he looks at Bobby, wide eyed, a twinkle in his eye, realizing Bobby made him booze.

Oh fuck yes! I still hate science, but damn, if anybody can do a good science, it's you Bobby!

Bobby smiles.

Thank you. Just be careful, I tested Bastardshine on rats, two out of every five shat their entire livers out.

TK is guzzling heavily from what must be an absolutely disgusting and horrific beverage, since it's not classified as a beverage whatsoever.

I will crush Sean Parker into powder and sell him by the milligram in Glasgow like I was playing the Transpotting game. Sean, while your mother was figuring out a way to get you to stop leeching from her titty, I was just getting started smashing people. I will give credit where credit is due, you’ve come a long way since then, now haven’t you? Sean Parker has scaled himself a ladder!

Who?

Bobby presses on.

You’ve taken yourself to the very top of Anarchy, and let me be the first to give you credit for that.

Bobby why are you cutting a promo right now?

TK knocks back a slug of medical grade hooch.

And Sean, know this. I have watched you. I have watched your entire XWF career. I have seen you come into Madness, be the light in the shade, and walk away clean. I have seen you march into Anarchy, and win, and dominate, and become a champion. I have witnessed you climb, rung by rung, up towards the unobtainable, getting whatever you were told you couldn’t get. I have believed in you, Sean, when you’ve gone out and fought to not just beat an opponent but express yourself to the world.

Bobby shakes his head.

Son, you’re not done cooking yet. You can go harder than you ever have before, you can do your damnedest to convince the universe we haven’t seen anything yet, and I believe it!

Bobby nods.

You haven’t done anything yet.

Bobby takes a deep breath.

Sure, you’ve done great things. I have destroyed monster, tyrant, and legend alike. In this ring, I have shattered spines you wouldn’t imagine, won championships that don’t even exist anymore, derailed the most promising careers you’ve never heard of, turning blue chip prospects into never-was tales.

See you ringside.