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'The Natural' Dick Drizzle · (02-20-2024)

We open inside of a dive bar that's seen better days. Neon signs flicker, sports play on the TV's, and the seats are filled with patreons all looking for 'something' tonight.

It's here we find Dick Drizzle, already several rounds deep, feeling good and looking for trouble.

Dick, never one to shy away from a bit of fun, spotted a woman across the bar.

She was stunning, a rare gem in this rough setting, and Dick, fueled by whiskey courage, decided to make his move.

With a swagger that said, "I own the place," he headed over, completely ignoring the big guy sitting next to her, who clearly wasn't just a friend.

Words were exchanged, some smooth, others slurred, but all dripping with the confidence of a man who'd never backed down from a challenge or walked away from a pretty lady. The situation escalated quickly, as these encounters often do, with Dick's advances met not with admiration but with hostility from the woman's companion.

Enter 'Loady' Potty Diaper, the protege, the loyal sidekick, and tonight, the wingman. Realizing things were about to go south, Loady made his way through the crowd, intent on defusing the situation before fists started flying. With a careful hand and a calming word, he stepped between Dick and the looming adversary, hoping to steer the night back to safer waters.

"Hey, he's sorry, let's all just enjoy our night, huh?"

But calm wasn't on the menu. Dick mouthed off and the big guy threw a punch, hitting Loady square in the mouth. Blood and spit flew, but this mess just gave Dick the distraction he needed. He went for a classic barroom move—a swift kick to the jewels!

"WOOooo!"

As the big guy doubled over, Dick grabbed the nearest bottle of booze and introduced the guy's forehead to it, ending the fight as quickly as it had started.

The bar fell silent with Dick standing triumphant, Loady by his side, and their adversary sprawled across the floor.

With the room's attention squarely on Dick, and the adrenaline of victory coursing through his veins. He raised his whiskey in salute, a big grin across his face, and began:

"WOOOOO! Feast your eyes, ladies and gents! That spectacle? Merely a teaser, a glimpse of the mayhem awaiting at Anarchy. John Black, Mr. Oz, brace yourselves, boys, because Xtreme Rules? That's my world baby! A world where anything goes, and Dick's ALWAYS willing to go further than the next guy, WOOOOO!"

He pauses to take a swig.

"John, you may be a thug, but I'm the original outlaw! While you sit around getting fatter, trying to figure out why you're even here or if anyone cares, I take what I want and don't let no man tell me otherwise! And Oz, you might be a monster, but I've been battling demons at the bottom of every bottle all my life, brother, and I've come out on top every time—This time won't be any different—WOOOOO! You're lookin' at a man who doesn't just embrace chaos, he creates it, lives it, and thrives in it, brother! My life, my world, your downfall, WOOOOO!"

Loady nodded while wiping blood from his lip.

"This fight tonight? It's nothin' compared to what's gonna happen in that ring. I'm walkin' into Anarchy with one thing on my mind: THAT FUTURE TITLE SHOT! And I'll go through hell, high water, and whatever you two think you can throw at me to get it."

"And let me tell ya, winning that championship, whatever it may be? It's not about the glory at all. I already know that I'm the toughest son of a bitch you mama never told you about, but a BIG GOLD CHAMPIONSHIP BELT? It's my golden ticket, baby, WOOOOO! With that title around my waist, I've got something more valuable than gold itself. I've got leverage, a way out from under the mob's thumb. Picture this: the right buyer, the right price, and poof! All my debts, gone. Freedom, brothers and sisters, freedom from the chains they've tried to wrap around 'The Natural' Dick Drizzle over a few lousy bets!"

With his eyes blazing with determination and also a hint of madness, Dick takes another swig down the hatch and his presence seems to grow.

"John Black, Mr. Oz, you've been loitering around the XWF, clinging to the Anarchy roster like a couple of career losers! Years, gentlemen, years in this game and what do you have to show for it? A whole lot of nothing! The only thing you've proven, time and again, is that you're not up for the challenge. You're not championship material. You're just stepping stones, and I'm about to step all over you on my way to freedom, WOOOOO!"

"I'm not fighting for a title–I'm fighting for my life, for my freedom–and there's nothing more dangerous than a man with everything to lose and everything to gain. John, Oz, you're just in my way, and I don't step aside for any man—I bulldoze right through, WOOOOO!"

The bar, once filled with the sounds of casual chatter and clinking glasses, now sat in silence with every eye locked firmly on Dick as he painted a picture of the future—a future where he stood victorious, debts paid, chains broken.

"So, come Anarchy, you better bring your A-game, boys, because I'm bringing my S game, and when the dust settles and the lights go down, you'll be looking up at the brightest star in the sky. And that's me, 'The Natural' Dick Drizzle, the man who walks the aisle stylin' and profilin', the only man who can be one foot in the grave and still outclass, outshine, and outfight any two-bit, dime a dozen wrestler who dares step into my world. WOOOOO!"

With the stunning beauty now on his arm, Dick Drizzle, strides out into the night, Loady in tow, ready to conquer whatever comes next...

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