01-27-2024, 05:55 PM
Going into another big match. Why do I torture myself like this? I do it because I got the same dream that everybody has. To challenge for the Universal Championship. Not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts. We all know I am old, fat and broken down but I still got the same shot as everybody else does. You throw in the fact that I have bled so much that it adds another 5% chance to my already 15% chance of winning against these other 29 people. Thunder Knuckles knows what I am capable of due to our time in BOB so he isn't really gonna try to hurt me too badly. That negates his chance of winning by a lot. It drastically goes down. Doctor Louis D'Ville is another guy I have faced before and he may have beaten me but I can counter him. That decreases his chances. Those two adds another 3% chance of me winning. That would normally give me a 23% chance of winning but I am not normal. I got one eye left in my head and have that robotic eye that helps sense things so it adds another 20% of me winning so in actuality, I have a 43% chance of winning.
I got that double vision going on. Looking at the gallery of people I gotta face. So many different names. Dadbod? Really, I am the King Of The Dad Bod. I feel like I have lived almost 80 years and I am nearing 40. This is nothing new to me. Challenges like this don't intimidate me. I'll scrap with the best of them. Dick Drizzle? Sounds like something that has happened once or twice to me when I had a bit too much White Claw and couldn't finish what i started.
I am the real Enigma. The guy that shouldn't have made as far as I have with my skill-set. Yet here we are. J Mont? Okay, That is interesting. Davis Starfire did tell me a few things about you. Dickie Watson. Hmm. Nothing I can really say about that. Kieran King? You are gonna be very dhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD-SpHH7qDAifficult. I know you well. Never faced off before but I welcome the challenge.
Centurion? You really are like a fine wine. You simply get better with age. I remember the last time we fought. Took me to my limit. That was a hard fought cage match back in either 2012 or 2013. I haven't forgotten you. I am gonna give you everything I got left in the tank. Jason Cashe? I got no fear against you either. I know this is gonna kill my body the next day.
Bobby Bourbon? Oh, god! This seems to be a true battle of two fat bastards but its alright. BOB may be dead but I am not worried about a fight. Mark Flynn? Let's do this. Take your best shot and I will swing right back. Noah Jackson? I already beat you once. The Daddy Of Violence is ready to go for that next round.
I'm feeling dirty but that's alright. Sloane Taylor? Kaya Parker? Shazz Nasty? I gotta fight women now? Fuck! That's alright. According to some people, White Claw is for chicks. So I already know how this is gonna go. I'll throw down. Doesn't matter to me. I could be that evil man again. That man who is powered by a car battery and just needs that extra boost of electricity going through his veins. I am okay with that.
I have done things that I will never apologize for because I meant it. Bob D? Really? Sounds like somebody got jealous of Bobby Bourbon. Slade Durant. The lists goes on about who I have to face. The one thing these new people trying to make an impact need to realize about me. I am willing to go dirty if I have to. I am not afraid of a fight. Crash Rodriquez sounds like a bad night of drinking or a Tuesday for me.
Seb? Boring name. At least try to entertain to me. Corey Black? Pfft! Not as attractive as Corey Smith. Now that is a cute twink. Just saying. Matt Knox? You may look slightly better than me but all it takes in one good solid right hook to knock you out. Spencer Adams? Bring it on with me.
I always put myself in unwinnable situations. That's life for me. Only difference this time is the deck is somewhat in my favor. I am a walking scar at this point. So much scar tissue in my forehead from wearing the crimson mask that it takes a lot to even get a trickle going. Cypher has nothing on me. Neither does Johnny Bacchus. RL Edgar either.
I am willing to put everything on the line yet again in my life. Four years ago, I made my return to the XWF to enter High Stakes. I was willing to give up my job as a garbage man for that one shot to become Universal Champion. Something most people must've thought I was drinking lean to do. Leave a union job to come back here. I was willing to swing that hammer hard.
This is nothing new to me. The fact people thought otherwise about me. They don't know me very well. I may not be the most polished speaker but I will never back down from a fight. Even if i get my ass kicked, I will go down swinging. Brian Johnson's voice ringing through my head and the arena. Representing all of metal and punk rock all rolled up into one.
What version of Green should I truly bring to the table? The Epitome of Cool version. The one that was all about the 1950's and wearing the white shirt with black jeans and a black leather jacket. Nah. That version is long gone and buried. That version of me died a long time ago.
Maybe the celtic version of Green who is the closest version left still standing within me. Never say die literally. He would bring the violence just as good as I can deliver now. That was the version that brought me the World Championship back in 2012. Its 12 years later. Its time for another run.
I could bring the "Power Warrior" version out. The version with the half painted face in honor of my fallen mentor. Dig into the power and paint. That version doesn't always give me as much success. Maybe its time I let that version just go. Foley Anderson has been dead almost 12 years. Time to stop living in the past.
Maybe its time to bring out "The Evil Man". The man who is not human. That version of me did a lot of damage and inflicted a lot of pain on people. Scars on my soul that ensure I am going to a special place in hell if there is one. All i know is the Earth Mother watches over us and hopefully she will find some mercy on me when it is my time to go.
I don't have time to waste. This is one of the last opportunities I may get in my career to challenge for the biggest prize in the XWF. I know people look at me like I am some sort of joke going into this. Nobody was laughing when I went all in at High Stakes. Nobody was laughing at my bout with Cram on Warfare. My body is fucked no matter how I look at it.
Why not sacrifice a couple more years of my career? I am willing to do it to prove that I still have it in me. The darkness that follows is different. My darkness is full of regrets and mistakes I have made. Things I cannot fix now. I just gotta focus on this moment. Go into the fire literally. Show people why they should fear me again.
The one thing I take away from this is the chips are definitely in my favor. I got perhaps the hardest forehead out of everybody in this match. I am not afraid of taking everyone's best shot. Trying to get blood to trickle from my forehead is like trying to get blood from a stone. Its possible but very difficult for everybody involved.
I will get the keys into the kingdom. Winning the World Title was a dream come true to me but to win this and challenge for the Universal Championship, It will be mind blowing. I am nearing 40 each passing day. I know what I need to focus on in the gym and that is keeping my strength and cardio up. That gets a bit harder each day. I am running around the block of my apartment in Boston with weights strapped to my ankles. Gotta strengthen everything.
Whoever is the Universal Champion, Get ready for a true fight from me. I am the last of a dying breed. The guy who doesn't do flashy moves. The guy who makes every single move count even if it makes for a boring match. I gotta be effective and I am effective at what I bring to the table. A guy who isn't exactly attractive but represents the common man.
Either XWF is going downhill or I am finally getting good enough. Only time will tell when it comes to this match. All I know is I won't quit until I am dead and cold in the ground. Even then, There is always a shot of being revived yet again. For some reason, You cannot stop me.
Arlington is where I will give my all. My body won't quit on me. Tonight is the night I really push myself. Representing everyone who were told that they couldn't do it. I am coming and not in a sexual way this time. That can wait until after I win. I may only be able to see out of one eye but I got it laser focused on this shot. I am gonna come out swinging and when all is said and done, You are looking at your next Universal Champion.
The sound of Brian Johnson's voice motivating me into battle. May not be the best vocalist in the world but its fucking AC/DC. Pure rock in your ear. Last Blood. I will be the only one with a clean forehead. I can feel the chills ringing through my body as this is gonna become a reality. Take your best shot at me.
I am ready.....
---Barney Green
Arlington, Texas
January 27th, 2024
The scene opens up inside of a hotel room where we see Barney Green, dressed in a black t-shirt with black jogging pants and New Balance sneakers. Barney picks up his phone and dials a number. The phone rings and then a voice answers.
Barney: You ready for this night out on the town, Bob?
Bob: Oh, definitely. Its been a fun trip out into Texas. Getting drunk like we were young again and not having to worry. Thanks for taking me and Louie out for a good time with you.
Barney: No problem at all. I am grateful for the fact that I got such loyal friends left in life. We may bust each others balls at times.
Bob: Yep but that's what friends do to each other. Especially when we have known each other for almost 30 years, Barn.
Barney pauses as he goes to pick up his wallet and continues speaking.
Barney: Where has the time gone? I remember the days when we both would sneak out of school drinking whatever cheap liquor we managed to acquire.
Bob: I know, Barn. I'll be ready in a few minutes.
Barney: Okay, Bob. Sounds like a plan. I'll be ready soon as well. I'm gonna go play a joke on the skunk.
Bob starts laughing and then goes to speak.
Bob: Have fun. I'll see you soon.
Barney hangs up the phone. We see Barney pick up the phone in the hotel and start dialing a number. The phone rings and then we hear a voice.
???: Hello?
Barney: Hi, Mr. Stevenson. This is your 8am wake up call. By the way, Your car has been towed for parking in a handicapped spot.
Louie: What? That wasn't my car. I also didn't need a wake-up call. Who is this?
Barney: This is Steve Jamison at the front desk. We towed a car that had your license plate number. 8732MD7.
Louie: Yes, that is my rental vehicle but I did not park in a handicapped spot.
Barney: Technically, You did because we just put up the sign today.
Barney struggles to hold back his laughter as Louie goes to speak.
Louie: What? You don't warn people? I'll be right down.
Barney: You might want to hurry before it gets crushed into a cube.
There is an audible click as Barney busts out laughing. He hangs up the phone and all of a sudden hears a knock at the door. Barney opens the door.
Barney: What brings you here so fast, skunk?
Louie: Some bozo had my fucking car towed all because it suddenly became a handicapped spot I was parked in overnight. What a lousy hotel.
Barney quickly turns around real quick and looks like he is about to laugh then goes to speak again. He makes it look like he is checking his phone real quick.
Barney: Let's go down to the front desk and get this straightened out, then!
Louie: Good idea, Barn!
Barney: Tell that Steve Jamison person who is boss here.
Louie pauses for a moment then turns to a smirk as he goes to speak.
Louie: How do you know that name? Is this one of your pranks?
Barney: I don't know--
Louie: I never said that name. Just said some bozo. How would you know unless it was some sort of prank?
Louie just crosses his arms as Barney tries to figure his way out of this situation.
Barney: Okay.. You got me! Your car is fine. Figured I would finally get you back on the old dine and dash prank you played on me.
Louie: That was actually clever. You owe me a drink for that one. Now, I got a funny prank to play on Bob. You want in on it as well?
Barney turns to face Louie and goes to speak.
Barney: Sure, What do you have in mind?
Louie: We spray him with a fire extinguisher.
Barney: That sounds funny. I am down for that one. I'll knock on his door in a panic telling him there is a fire and we need to evacuate. I'll get him into the hallway and you just spray him with a fire extinguisher.
Louie and Barney start laughing as Louie goes to speak.
Louie: I like it!
Barney grabs his wallet and keycard and places it into his wallet as he goes to speak.
Barney: Let's roll.
Barney and Louie exit the room. They head towards the elevator.
Louie: Gotta love cheapskate Bob! Manages to find a discount even though it put him in a worse room than the both of us.
Barney: That's how it goes in life. Must be why he managed to find success and live in such a nice house while the both of us are living in apartments.
Barney hits the button on the elevator and continues speaking.
Barney: This should be funny. Hope Bob doesn't get too mad at us.
Louie: He knew the rules by staying friends with us. Been such a fun vacation with you. Thanks for paying for everything.
Barney: No problem at all. Just didn't think you would eat 3 lobsters in one sitting though.
Louie chuckles and goes to speak.
Louie: Yeah but you knew what I was capable of packing away at dinner when you met me.
Barney: Guilty. Let's get ready.
The elevator dings and they both exit the elevator. Louie grabs a nearby fire extinguisher as we see Barney walk towards Bob's room. He knocks on the door.
Barney: Let's go, Bob! We got a small fire in the hotel. They want everyone to evacuate.
Bob: What? Nice try, Barn. You aren't gonna fool me with that.
Barney pauses for a moment then goes to speak.
Barney: Trust me, I am not joking this time.
Bob opens the door only to spray Barney in the face with another fire extinguisher. Louie joins in. They both are laughing as Barney looks shocked. Barney goes to speak.
Barney: Very funny, guys. You got me good with that one.
Bob: We figured you were due for a prank like that. No hard feelings?
Barney: You owe me a drink for that one though.
The scene fades to black as they continue talking.
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