Hello everyone my name is Roger and i had a listen to that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt and what he had to say about my challenge to have a final duel for the fate of the world on Anarchy and while i am very very happy he necromanced himself some testicles enough to accept my challenge i can tell the ones he brought back must have been really small like maybe they belonged to that bastard Winston Churchill or maybe he just did a swap with the recently departed satanic prince whose name was Henry Kissinger because that would explain why a master necromancer such as that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt would still have such tiny testicles even with his necromancy superpowers.

The reason i know all of this is because i had a think about why he would want to challenge me to the death and resurrect me on his side of the war for all of humanity's children and their souls and other lovely things like the first bite of a delicious pineapple or the smell of my mum's freshly shampooed hair and the reason that i think he wants me to be resurrected on his side is because he knows that i have the power of all that is good and proper on my side and everybody knows that necromancy cannot abide the laws of properness and being from foggy london like i am it means i am so much more proper than that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt and his americana occultism.

Yes indeed the power of love is on my side and not just the love of my mum and dad the kind of which that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt only ever experienced in television land from his fake father John Lithgow but my mum and dad are not fake and have never been divorced so that must be very embarrassing for both Mr. Lithgow and his bastard bitch son.

But as i was explaining i have even more love going for me as my darling new girlfriend who i once called humongous Molly also loves me and there are only three things that are humongous about her now and number one of them is her love for me and number two of them is her elegant bosom but number three of them is the most important and the most loving as it is her ever grown womb as she us with child and will bring forth the first of many children of mine into the world and that is kind of like the opposite of necromancy when you think about it because humongous Molly and I are not bringing life back from the dead we are instead creating life from nothing which is a magic of its own and that magic of love will always outweigh the dark arts.

But as the mythical Mother Teresa said in between depriving innocents of pain relief she said “true love is love that causes us pain, that hurts, and yet brings us joy” and therefore sometimes love needs to involve a little pain and this was confirmed by world renowned poet Ja Rule who also said “pain is love” and so in order to let my love smother that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt like humongous Molly smothers me with her humongous love and stuff i know there must be pain involved and that's where the warhammer that my best friend Prince Ibrahim of magical Niger gifted me for saving him from the political turmoil in his home country comes in.

With this mighty warhammer i have slain the minions of the apocalypse such as the cute and cuddly lizard named Albuquerque inside a mysteriously closed down H&m shopping store and the slightly used gerbil that had been snuck inside of my love Molly and the secret that i haven't revealed just yet is that i have been a bit sneaky myself and have had a creep inside of the city of angels past all of that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt's mystical defences and asked a few victims of his Hollywood sex guild where his lair was and now i am deep beneath the disgusting city and have found the enigma known as a shih tzu and fearing its untold power have now slain that beast too.

All that remains is having a defeat of another literal gorilla and because i have already done that in life too i am now about to toss my warhammer to the side stained as it is with the turquoise blood of the alien shih tzu and will have a wrestle of the gorilla with my bare Roger hands and look how easily i snapped its neck do you see that you sonofabitch you slimy mutt you haggard whore with your quaffed hair and your Hollywood exercise regime and your New Zealand holiday home i will kill you until you are dead and i will save the world and all of its children and i will save Marilyn Monroe from being necromanced back into house of horrors your bed lies within and most of all i will save my rabbit Elmer!

Don't think i have forgotten you sloppy wanker that you killed my rabbit and have necromanced him back to life just like you want to do with me but i won't let it happen because i am going to kill you you dimwitted piece of donkey shite and i will be hailed as Roger the Great and nobody will even remember your name or your dumb movies!