"THE JUST-US LEAGUE
THE ATOMIC BAT AND THE BLUE TANGO
- vs -
BOBBY BOURBON AND MARK FLYNN 2 rps/Unlimited - "Braveheart" Tag Team Match
Ring will be surrounded with medieval era weapons
SEAN PARKER
- vs -
THADDEUS DUKE 1 RP/4K - Standard Match
PIP: "Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to witness a grudge match for the ages at Anarchy Ignites: Fire & Ice!"
HHL: "That's right, Pip. Bulk Logan, the man wronged and looking for revenge, versus Dick Drizzle, the master of underhanded tactics!"
The arena is electrified with anticipation as the lights dim, signaling the start of the showdown. Bulk Logan's Rock 'n' Wrestling Theme blasts through the speakers, shaking the arena with its powerful chords.
PIP: "Here comes the mountain of a man, Bulk Logan! Unfazed by the boos and jeers, he's ready to settle the score!"
Bulk strides down the ramp, a picture of confidence and defiance, soaking in the mixed reactions from the crowd.
HHL: "Bulk's controversial past doesn't seem to bother him tonight. He's here for one thing only - revenge."
As Bulk enters the ring, his music fades, replaced by the strains of Dick's orchestral tune. The arena's lights flicker in gold, heralding the arrival of 'The Natural' Dick Drizzle.
PIP: "And here's the man of the hour, Dick Drizzle, the cunning rookie who stirred up a storm last Warfare when he cost Bulk Logan the Television Championship all in an effort to get THIS match booked tonight!"
Drizzle, with his characteristic swagger, makes his way to the ring, also receiving a mixed reaction but mostly jeers from the crowd.
HHL: "Drizzle's underhanded tactics have made him an infamous figure in XWF. But he doesn't seem to care, he thrives on this animosity."
PRE SHOW
Anarchy Ignites: Fire & Ice! Featuring Bulk Logan taking on Dick Drizzle in singles action!
DING! DING! DING! The bell rings, and the two men lock eyes.
PIP: "This is more than just an ordinary match, Heather. This is a clash of egos, a battle of wills!"
Bulk and Drizzle circle each other warily. Bulk, with his sheer size, tries to intimidate Drizzle, who responds with a smug grin.
HHL: "Bulk's got the power, but Drizzle's got the cunning. This is going to be interesting."
Suddenly, Bulk lunges forward, initiating a lock-up. Using his superior strength, he pushes Drizzle to the corner, but the crafty Drizzle quickly counters with an eye gouge.
PIP: "Typical Drizzle, always looking for an edge!"
Bulk, momentarily stunned, regains his composure and responds with a series of heavy punches, driving Drizzle back.
HHL: "Bulk's not holding back. He's unleashing his fury!"
Bulk then executes a massive Clothesline, followed by a Scoop Slam, sending Drizzle crashing to the mat.
PIP: "What a display of power! Bulk is dominating!"
But Drizzle, ever resilient, fights back, targeting Bulk's knees with chop blocks and sharp kicks.
HHL: "Drizzle's going for Bulk's weak points. He's trying to chop the giant down!"
PIP: "They're taking it outside! This is where things can get really unpredictable!"
As Bulk and Drizzle spill out of the ring, the intensity escalates. They exchange heavy blows, pushing the limits of the match's brutality.
HHL: "Right in the heart of the crowd! These fans are getting a close-up view of the action!"
Bulk, fueled by rage, grabs Drizzle and hurls him into the barricade, causing a loud crash
PIP: "Bulk Logan using the environment to his advantage! That barricade didn't stand a chance!"
Drizzle, reeling from the impact, tries to retaliate but Bulk is relentless. He lifts Drizzle and drops him onto the announcer's table, causing papers and monitors to fly everywhere as the desk splinters.
HHL: "The announcer's table is in shambles! Bulk Logan is dismantling Drizzle!"
But Drizzle, ever the survivor, fights back with a sharp blow with a microphone.
The fight then moves into the audience, with both wrestlers brawling amidst the sea of fans, who part way in excitement and fear.
HHL: "They're in the crowd now! This is pure chaos!"
Bulk attempts to slam Drizzle onto a row of chairs, but Drizzle counters, sending Bulk crashing through them instead.
As they brawl back towards the ring, Drizzle cunningly lures Bulk into a trap, smashing him with a chair hidden under the ring.
Back inside of the ring, Bulk corners Dick, and Drizzle attempts his Trick Knee move, but Bulk anticipates it and counters with a few Big Punches, a whip to the ropes, and finally a Big Boot, knocking Drizzle off his feet.
PIP: "What a counter! Bulk's not out of this yet!"
Bulk then prepares for his signature Leg Drop of Gloom, but Drizzle rolls away at the last moment, causing Bulk to crash and burn.
HHL: "Drizzle's quick thinking saves him! That could have been the end!"
Both men lie on the mat, gasping for air. The referee starts the countdown.
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
PIP: "This is a critical moment! Who will rise first?"
FOUR!!!!
FIVE!!!!!
As they struggle to their feet, Drizzle, with a sly grin, reaches into his tights and throws a handful of salt into Bulk's eyes.
HHL: "Dick Drizzle resorts to his notorious tricks again! That's the same blinding salt that was used to cost Bulk Logan the TV title!"
Bulk, temporarily blinded, swings wildly, but Drizzle skillfully dodges and unleashes a flurry of Dick's Famous Barroom Brawl Bashes.
PIP: "Drizzle is exploiting the situation to its fullest. He's relentless!"
Bulk, fueled by adrenaline, somehow manages to fight back, breaking free from Drizzle's onslaught.
HHL: "The resilience of Bulk Logan is astounding! He's not giving up!"
Bulk Logan, summoning a surge of energy, grips Dick Drizzle firmly. With a powerful motion, he whips Drizzle into the corner of the ring.
Bulk charges at the cornered Drizzle and mounts the turnbuckle, unleashing a barrage of punches as the crowd counts along.
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
9!
PIP: "Seven, eight, nine... Bulk is a man possessed! Drizzle is reeling from these punishing blows!"
As he reaches the ninth punch, Bulk leans in and bites Drizzle's forehead. The crowd gasps and roars as Drizzle howls in pain.
HHL: "Oh my! Bulk has crossed into savage territory! That's a bite to the forehead!"
Drizzle, dazed and in agony, stumbles out of the corner, desperately trying to regain his bearings. Bulk, with a fierce look, backs away momentarily, allowing Drizzle to feel the full effect of the attack.
PIP: "Look at Drizzle! He's on wobbly legs but still standing!"
Drizzle, channeling the iconic act made famous by legends like Ric Flair, stumbles forward a few steps. He's clearly dazed, teetering on the brink of collapse.
Just as it seems Drizzle might regain his balance, his legs give way. In a dramatic moment, he crashes face-first to the mat.
The referee warns Bulk about the bite, but Bulk merely sneers in response, turning his attention back to Drizzle, who's now sprawled on the mat.
HHL: "Dick Drizzle's in trouble. Bulk's animalistic side has taken over, and it doesn't bode well for Drizzle."
With a confident smirk, Bulk starts his signature posturing, flexing and cupping his ear.
PIP: "Bulk's soaking in this moment. He knows he's got the upper hand now!"
Struggling to regain his senses, Drizzle crawls towards the corner of the ring.
HHL: "Drizzle's in a bad spot here. He's barely moving, but he's not giving up yet!"
Using the ropes for support, Drizzle slowly pulls himself to his feet.
PIP: "Drizzle's using those ropes as a lifeline, trying desperately to get back into this fight."
Meanwhile, Bulk, noticing Drizzle's vulnerable state, charges towards him, ready to continue his onslaught.
HHL: "Bulk's not going to let up. He sees an opportunity to finish this and he's going for it!"
As Bulk approaches, Drizzle, in a last-ditch effort, cunningly pulls the referee into his path. Bulk, unable to stop his momentum, crashes into both the referee and Drizzle, squashing them in the corner.
PIP: "Oh no! Drizzle just pulled the referee into harm's way!"
The impact leaves all three men tangled in the corner, with the referee clearly bearing the brunt of Bulk's massive frame.
HHL: "That's a disaster! The referee's down, and Drizzle's tactics have once again thrown this match into disarray!"
The crowd reacts with a mixture of shock and excitement, as a mysterious figure appears.
HHL: "Wait, who is this?! What's happening?!"
A bizarre character dressed in a red kilt and diaper emerges from the crowd catching everyone by surprise.
PIP: "Good heavens, is that... Loady Potty Diaper?! We've heard rumors that Dick Drizzle was bringing in an associate under that name!"
Loady, with a dirty diaper in hand, sneaks up behind Bulk.
HHL: "Is that a used diaper!? I can't believe my eyes! This is absurd!"
Loady swiftly locks in a Sleeper Hold placing the dirty diaper over Bulk's mouth and nose while choking him out.
The Bulkster's eyes grow wide as he struggles, but slowly he succumbs to the hold, or the diaper.
PIP: "This is unheard of! Loady Potty Diaper is assaulting Bulk Logan with a... a dirty diaper?!"
As Bulk lies incapacitated, Drizzle seizes the moment, waking the referee before applying the Tipsy Toe Hold.
HHL: "Drizzle is going to steal this one! Bulk can't defend himself!"
The referee, still disoriented, crawls over to see that Bulk is out. He calls for the bell, signaling the end of the match.
DING! DING! DING!
WINNER VIA TKO - 'THE NATURAL' DICK DRIZZLE!!!
PIP: "I can't believe it. Dick Drizzle wins, but this victory is shrouded in controversy!"
Drizzle, barely able to stand himself, raises his arms in triumph as the crowd boos overwhelmingly.
HHL: "Drizzle wins, but this will be remembered more for Loady's shocking interference than anything else!"
As medical staff rush to attend to Bulk, the camera focuses on Drizzle, who is revelling in his dubious victory.
PIP: "This match has set a wild tone for Fire & Ice! Unpredictable, uncontrollable, and utterly unbelievable!"
Dick Drizzle and Loady Potty Diaper are basking in the boos and jeers of the crowd, sharing a moment of triumph.
Loady waves his notorious dirty diaper in the air like a flag, while Drizzle struts around the ring, doing his exaggerated "Woooo!" to the crowd.
HHL: "Anarchy Ignites indeed! If this is the pre-show, imagine what Fire & Ice has in store!"
As the camera pans over the excited crowd gathered at the Edinburgh Castle, the scene shifts to focus on the ring, where a coal miner's glove hangs from a pole on one of the turnbuckles.
HHL: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to what promises to be an unforgettable night of action here at the historic Edinburgh Castle! I’m Heather, joined by my always insightful colleague, Pip Collins. And tonight, we bear witness to a classic and brutal spectacle: a Coal Miner’s Glove match!
Pip: That’s right, Heather. For those new to this type of match, let me lay out the rules. Hanging above the ring from that pole is a coal miner's glove, known for its toughness and, in this context, its potential as a weapon. The first competitor to climb up there and retrieve it can use it to their advantage.
The camera zooms in on the glove, highlighting its rugged exterior and reinforced padding.
HHL: And let’s not forget, Pip, in this no-holds-barred scenario, there are no disqualifications. Anything goes, which means once that glove is in play, it’s going to be a game-changer.
Pip: Absolutely, Heather. And remember, victory is secured the traditional way - pinfall or submission in the ring. But getting to that point, with that glove in play, it’s a whole different ballgame.
HHL: This match isn’t just about physical prowess; it’s about strategy, courage, and sometimes, sheer willpower. Who can climb that pole under these high-pressure conditions and turn the tide of the match with the coal miner's glove?
Pip: And let’s set the stage here - we have the unbridled ferocity of EDWARD defending his Anarchy Championship against the technical and strategic acumen of Centurion. This is a clash of styles and philosophies. Who will ascend, literally and figuratively, to claim victory tonight?
As the camera takes one more lingering look at the glove, the crowd's excitement builds to a fever pitch, eagerly anticipating the onset of what promises to be an epic confrontation.
As the familiar chords of "Wild Thing" echo through Edinburgh Castle. The camera focuses on the entrance ramp, now bathed in a vibrant light.
HHL: Here we go, Pip! After those intense words from Centurion, it's time to see how this plays out in the ring!
Centurion emerges from the back, his presence commanding the attention of everyone in the arena. His walk is a mix of determination and a seasoned warrior's confidence, embodying the spirit of a man shaped by personal struggles and years of battle-hardened experience.
Pip: Heather, you can feel the intensity from here. Centurion is walking into a fight that's as much about proving something to himself as it is about winning that title.
As "Wild Thing" continues to blare, Centurion pauses at the top of the ramp, taking a moment to survey the crowd..
HHL: This man has seen it all in the wrestling world, Pip. The injuries, the surgeries, the highs and lows... and yet here he is, ready to take on EDWARD in a Coal Miner's Glove match.
Centurion starts his descent down the ramp. The camera pans out to show the coal miner's glove hanging ominously in the background.
Pip: And remember, Heather, this is more than a match for Centurion. It's about proving that even with age and injuries, he can still outsmart and outlast someone as primal and raw as EDWARD.
As he reaches the ring, Centurion slides under the bottom rope, rising to his feet in a smooth, practiced motion. He takes a moment in the center of the ring, raising his arms to acknowledge the roaring crowd, a gesture showing that despite his bitterness and the toll of years, he's still very much connected to the fans.
HHL: The stage is set, Pip. Centurion is in the ring, and the Coal Miner's Glove match is about to begin. What a showdown this is going to be!
HHL: This is it, Pip. The Anarchy Champion, EDWARD, is about to make his presence felt!
The camera pans to the entrance ramp, now shrouded in fog. Amidst this enigmatic ambiance, EDWARD emerges. His presence commands immediate attention, embodying the raw essence of a warrior from a bygone era.
Pip: Look at the size of him, Heather!
EDWARD’s stride is deliberate and powerful. He wears the Anarchy Championship around his waist, a symbol of his dominance and a direct response to Centurion’s earlier remarks.
HHL: EDWARD carries not just the Anarchy Championship but the pride of his tribe and his own warrior’s code. This is more than a title defense for him, it’s a battle for both honor and legacy.
As EDWARD approaches the ring, the camera focuses on the coal miner's glove, now taking on a new significance in light of EDWARD's tale of the great hunt and his connection to the earth and nature.
Pip: EDWARD’s journey here is like a tale from another time, Heather. His connection to the earth, to his heritage, it’s all going to play out in this ring tonight.
EDWARD ascends the ring steps and stands on the apron, taking a moment to survey the crowd and the ring. He unclasps the Anarchy Championship from around his waist, raising it high for all to see, a symbol of his strength and his role as the protector of his tribe.
The music fade as EDWARD leaps over the top rope into the ring. He stands tall, facing Centurion, a stark contrast to the seasoned veteran. The two warriors lock eyes, an unspoken understanding passing between them of the battle that is about to commence.
HHL: The stage is set, Pip. EDWARD, the Anarchy Champion, and Centurion, the challenger. Two warriors from different worlds, each fighting for something greater than themselves.
The lights return to normal as EDWARD positions himself in his corner, readying for the match.
The bell rings, and they circle each other. EDWARD lunges with a ferocious bite attempt, but Centurion skillfully dodges, retaliating with a sharp standing dropkick. EDWARD stumbles but quickly regains his composure, charging with a tackle that sends both men crashing to the mat.
HHL: EDWARD is unleashing his primal fury early into this contest!
In a display of raw power, EDWARD launches himself at Centurion with a savage intensity.
He lunges, teeth bared, aiming for a vicious bite.
The crowd gasps as EDWARD narrowly misses Centurion's finger with his powerful jaw, just inches away from inflicting serious damage.
Pip: That was too close for comfort, Heather! Centurion needs to use his speed here.
Undeterred, EDWARD continues his relentless assault. He lashes out with a series of ruthless kicks, each one landing with a thud against Centurion's body.
Centurion, reeling from the blows, tries to create some distance, but EDWARD is relentless. He grabs Centurion's arm, pulling him back and delivering a Short-Arm clothesline that he follows up with a bone-crushing stomp to Centurion's chest.
With Centurion momentarily stunned, EDWARD attempts another Bite, this time targeting Centurion's nose. It's a brutal and unorthodox tactic, but Centurion, ever the tactician, narrowly evades, rolling out of EDWARD's grasp.
With a newfound determination, Centurion begins to outmaneuver EDWARD, showcasing his technical skills.
HHL: Centurion is finding his groove now, Pip!
He executes a perfectly timed Saito Suplex, lifting EDWARD with impressive strength and slamming him down with precision.
The crowd gasps at the display of power from Centurion.
Pip: He's not just about speed; Centurion's got some serious power behind those moves!
Not missing a beat, Centurion swiftly transitions into a V Trigger. The knee strike hits EDWARD square in the jaw, a textbook execution. EDWARD stumbles, visibly shaken by the quick succession of attacks.
HHL: That V Trigger could have knocked out a lesser man!
Sensing an opportunity, Centurion sets up for his signature move, the Fall of Rome. The crowd rises in anticipation as Centurion grips EDWARD, but at the last moment, EDWARD's primal instincts kick in. With a roar, he breaks free from Centurion's grasp, powering out with raw strength that leaves the crowd in awe.
Angered and invigorated, EDWARD charges at Centurion, who barely has time to react. With a burst of primal fury, EDWARD connects with a big Drop Kick that sends Centurion crashing into the corner. EDWARD presses in, trapping Cent in the corner as he unleashed a barrage of strikes. EDWARD backs up and rushes in, leaping into the air and crushing Centurion with a Body Splash in the corner.
HHL: Centurion, rocked by the flying caveman!
Centurion stumbles out of the corner and crashes on to the mat.
EDWARD climbs the turnbuckle with surprising agility for his size.
He leaps off, executing the Savage Elbow with devastating precision.
HHL: What a Savage Elbow! The sheer force of that move is staggering!
EDWARD goes for the cover.
Pip: What is this!? They haven't even brought to coal miner's glove into play yet!
The official slides into position!
ONE!
TWO!!
—KICKOUT!
EDWARD and Centurion are both down, their chests heaving as they struggle to their feet.
Slowly, Centurion rises to his knees, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs. He sees EDWARD also struggling to stand and knows this might be his only chance. With a burst of energy, Centurion launches himself towards EDWARD, executing a series of rapid strikes – a combination of elbows and knees that momentarily stuns the champion.
HHL: Look at Centurion go! He's like a man possessed!
EDWARD attempts to retaliate, but Centurion is one step ahead, dodging and weaving with incredible agility. Then, with a swift motion, Centurion lands an Armbar, wrenching EDWARD's arm back. The crowd roars as EDWARD grimaces in pain, his brute strength momentarily neutralized.
Pip: That Armbar is perfectly executed! Centurion is using his technical prowess to great effect!
EDWARD, however, is not one to submit easily. Despite the wrenching pain of the Armbar, he summons his primal strength, managing to power out of the hold with sheer force. The effort leaves both men momentarily breathless, each acknowledging the other's resilience.
HHL: Look at the power of EDWARD! He just powered out of that Armbar!
But Centurion doesn't let up. Seeing EDWARD momentarily off-balance, he capitalizes on the opportunity. With a burst of agility, he rushes towards EDWARD, delivering a stunning Standing Dropkick. The impact sends EDWARD staggering back, crashing into the corner of the ring.
HHL: Centurion is really taking it to the champion here!
Seizing the moment, Centurion quickly follows EDWARD to the corner. He climbs up to the second turnbuckle, grabbing a dazed EDWARD and setting him up for a high-risk maneuver. The crowd rises in anticipation as Centurion positions EDWARD for a superplex.
Pip: This could be a game-changer, Heather! Centurion’s going for a superplex!
Centurion lifts the larger EDWARD into the air. For a brief, heart-stopping moment, Centurion stalls before he executes the superplex, sending both men crashing down to the mat with a thunderous impact.
HHL: What a superplex! The ring just shook under the force of that move!
But Centurion doesn't let up. Seeing EDWARD momentarily off-balance from the superplex, he seizes the moment. With a burst of energy, he rushes towards the corner of the ring where the Coal Miner's Glove hangs ominously from the pole.
HHL: Centurion's going for the glove! This could be a pivotal moment in this match!
The crowd's anticipation builds as Centurion begins to climb the turnbuckle to reach the glove.
He reaches out, grasping the glove and swiftly pulling it down.
The crowd erupts as he slips the rugged, reinforced glove onto his hand.
Pip: He's got it, Heather! Centurion has the Coal Miner's Glove! This changes everything!
With the glove secured on his hand, Centurion stands atop the turnbuckle, surveying the situation below.
EDWARD is still reeling from the superplex, unaware of the impending danger. Centurion steadies himself, raising his gloved fist high, ready to unleash its power.
HHL: Centurion is poised for something big! EDWARD needs to watch out!
With the crowd cheering him on, Centurion launches himself off the top rope, aiming a loaded Fist Drop squarely at EDWARD.
Pip: This could be the knockout blow! That glove turns his fist into a deadly weapon!
The camera captures the moment of impact as Centurion’s gloved fist comes crashing down. EDWARD, just in time, rolls away, narrowly avoiding the devastating blow. Centurion’s fist hits the mat with a thud, the force of the missed attack sending shockwaves through his body.
HHL: EDWARD dodged it! That could have been catastrophic!
Pip: High risk, high reward, but this time it didn't pay off for Centurion!
EDWARD grabs Centurion for a thunderous Stone Age Slam. The arena shakes with the impact, but instead of going for the pin or the glove, EDWARD climbs the turnbuckle, preparing for another Savage Elbow.
HHL: EDWARD is looking to end this match right now!
As EDWARD leaps, Centurion miraculously rolls out of the way. EDWARD crashes to the mat, the missed elbow taking its toll. Centurion, though hurting, quickly capitalizes, locking in the Fall of Rome. The crowd's excitement is at a fever pitch as EDWARD struggles in the submission hold.
Pip: Can EDWARD withstand the Fall of Rome?
In an incredible display of endurance and desperation, EDWARD inches towards his only hope – the Coal Miner's Glove. But Centurion, sensing victory is near, adjusts his grip, pulling EDWARD back to the center of the ring and tightening the hold even further.
HHL: This could be it, Pip! Can EDWARD hang on?
EDWARD, trapped in the center of the ring, fights with every ounce of his primal strength. He roars in defiance, channeling his warrior spirit. In a display of raw power, he manages to crawl under Centurions legs and break the grip of the Fall of Rome, pushing Centurion off with a mighty kick.
Pip: What a match! Neither man is giving an inch!
As they both slowly rise, the respect between them is evident. They lock eyes, acknowledging the battle they've been through so far.
The crowd is on its feet, applauding the incredible display of athleticism and determination.
HHL: This is what championship wrestling is all about!
They lock up in the center of the ring, each vying for control. EDWARD tries to overpower Centurion, but Centurion, using his technical expertise, counters with a series of swift reversals. The two athletes move through a dance of locks, holds, and dodges.
Pip: This is a chess match, Heather. Each man is trying to outthink and outmaneuver the other.
Centurion, finding an opening, slips out of EDWARD's grip and delivers a quick jab to the midsection, followed by a well-timed uppercut that sends EDWARD reeling. With EDWARD off-balance, Centurion takes a step back and once again slips on the Coal Miner's Glove, his eyes fixed on his opponent.
HHL: Centurion's going for the knockout!
The crowd rises in anticipation as Centurion measures EDWARD, preparing to deliver a crushing blow with the loaded glove. He lunges forward, aiming a powerful punch at EDWARD.
Pip: Here it comes!
But in a stunning display of reflexes, EDWARD catches Centurion's fist mid-air, stopping the blow just inches from its target. With a knowing shake of his head, EDWARD wags his finger at Centurion. Tisk, tisk, tisk.
HHL: Unbelievable! EDWARD just caught that punch like it was nothing!
Seizing the moment, EDWARD uses his primal strength to twist Centurion’s arm, forcing the glove off of his hand before tossing it across the ring.
With a swift movement, EDWARD lifts Centurion onto his shoulders and executes a massive Caveman Slam, driving Centurion into the mat with incredible force.
Pip: The Caveman Slam! That might be it if EDWARD goes for the cover!
EDWARD does go for the cover, hooking Centurion’s leg as the referee slides in for the count.
The crowd counts along with the referee:
ONE!
TWO!!
But at the last possible moment—KICKOUT!
Centurion kicks out, much to the disbelief of EDWARD and the amazement of the audience. The resilience of both men is on full display.
HHL: How did Centurion kick out of that?
Both men are slow to rise exhausted, but their spirits unbroken.
EDWARD, gathering his remaining strength, attempts another Caveman Slam. He lifts Centurion onto his shoulders, but in a remarkable display, Centurion slips out of the hold. Landing behind EDWARD, he immediately targets the champion's leg with a precise chop block, sending EDWARD to one knee.
Pip: What a counter by Centurion! He's not out of this yet!
With no time wasted, Centurion retrieves the Coal Miner's Glove, slipping it onto his hand once more. He turns to face a kneeling EDWARD, who struggles to regain his footing. Centurion unleashes a powerful blow with the loaded glove, striking EDWARD squarely in the face.
HHL: That’s a brutal hit, and it may be the end of the story for EDWARD!
Incredibly, EDWARD shouts a primal roar and kips up to his feet, stunning both Centurion and the audience.
Pip: I can’t believe it! EDWARD is back up!
But Centurion, undeterred, strikes again with the Coal Miner's Glove, each hit landing with a thunderous impact. Again and again, he hits, a relentless onslaught that leaves the crowd in a state of shock. Despite the brutal assault, EDWARD stands, though his legs wobble, his eyes glazed.
HHL: This is hard to watch, Pip. The champion is on unstable legs, but he’s still standing!
With EDWARD visibly shaken and struggling to maintain his balance, Centurion knows this is his moment to strike with everything he has left. He steadies himself, his breathing heavy, aware that what he's about to do will require every ounce of stamina he possesses.
Pip: Look at Centurion, Heather. He’s preparing for something big. Something we rarely see from him.
Centurion approaches the dazed EDWARD and, with a herculean effort, lifts him onto his shoulders in a fireman's carry position. The crowd gasps, recognizing the setup for Centurion's ultimate finisher, the Fabula Nova Crystallis.
HHL: This could be the end for EDWARD. No one kicks out of the Fabula Nova Crystallis!
Centurion, summoning his last reserves of energy, hoists EDWARD up and then drives him down onto the mat with a devastating One-Winged Angel. The impact echoes through the arena, and the crowd erupts in a mix of awe and disbelief.
Pip: He hit it! The Fabula Nova Crystallis! What a move!
HHL: Will this prove to be EDWARD's Final Fantasy as Centurion predicted?
With EDWARD motionless on the mat, Centurion collapses into a pin, his own exhaustion evident. The referee slides into position as the crowd counts along:
ONE!
TWO!!
THREE!!!
DING DING DING!
WINNER AND NEW ANARCHY CHAMPION: CENTURION!!!
HHL: It's over! Centurion wins! What a monumental victory!
Pip: He gave it everything he had, Heather. That final move took as much out of Centurion as it did EDWARD, but it was enough. We have a new Anarchy Champion!
The referee helps a spent Centurion to his feet and raises his arm in victory. Centurion, barely able to stand, holds the Anarchy Championship.
He looks across the ring at EDWARD, who is slowly coming to his senses, helped by the medical staff. The crowd falls into a respectful hush, sensing a significant moment.
HHL: Look at this, Pip. After such an intense battle, it seems there's a mutual respect between these two warriors.
Centurion, steadying himself on the ropes, approaches EDWARD. He extends a hand, helping EDWARD to his feet. The two men stand face to face, exhausted.
HHL: This is what sportsmanship is all about. Two competitors, giving it their all and still having the respect to acknowledge each other's efforts.
EDWARD, still recovering, looks into Centurion's eyes and gives a slow, approving nod. He reaches out, clasping Centurion's hand and pulling him into a brief, respectful embrace. The crowd erupts in applause, appreciating the display of honor and respect between the two athletes.
HHL: A fitting end to an incredible reign, and the beginning of a new chapter in Anarchy!
As they separate, Centurion raises EDWARD's hand, signaling to the crowd his recognition of EDWARD's prowess and spirit. EDWARD, in turn, points to Centurion, acknowledging him as the deserving champion.
The cameras cut backstage where we see “The Sky Assassin”' Sean Parker arriving at Edinburgh castle. The crowd inside the iconic Scottish landmark cheer massively at the sight of their fellow Scot arriving. Sean has a determined look on his face as he navigates his way through the backstage area and as he gets to the locker room area someone approaches him from behind, planting a hard hand on his shoulder. Sean spins around and as the camera pans back, we see none other than XWF legend, “Chronic” Chris Page, smiling confidently. Sean is caught off-guard and looks to go on the defensive straightaway, letting his bag drop to the floor. But Page holds his hands up in innocence, still maintaining his smile.
CHRIS PAGE: Whoa whoa, easy Kimosabe! Don’t tell me you’re still smarting over losing to me in the biggest match of your entire career. It’ll happen more and more, you’ll get used to it, I’m sure. But hey, don’t take it personally, not everyone’s cut out for the big leagues.
Sean steps forward and uses his shoulder to shove Page back.
Sean Parker: Do you mark your diary to get on my tits, Page?
Page laughs, not showing one ounce of intimidation.
Chris Page: I get it, I get it… PIPE DOWN BRUV! I’m just jerking your chain, son, Jesus, calm down. In all seriousness, I know how much heart and effort you put into that match back in LA and I was serious in what I said, you are destined for big things in this business, but don’t think for one second that I’ve not heard the things you’ve said… essentially professing to the world that I got “lucky” that I “survived” you.
Chris gazes intently into Parker’s eyes.
CHRIS PAGE: Consider this your first lesson, it doesn’t matter how it doesn’t matter why, and the circumstances mean dick… and as much as you WANT to do this again, I’m not going to lie, the minions you call fans need to get themselves in check because I won’t be as nice to them as I was the last time. The same can be said for you too. You’re not ready for your White Whale. Try and get by Thaddeus first, and don’t get too distracted because I plan on being in his corner.
Chris pats Sean on the shoulder.
CHRIS PAGE: See ya out there.
A look of frustration crosses Sean’s pace as the prospect of Page being in Thad’s corner washes over him as he watches Page walk off. Sean shakes his head, picking his bag back up, hefting it onto his shoulder and he makes his way to the locker room area as the cameras return to the main ring area.
The arena flashes white as spotlights from around the venue converge at the entrance room as "You Know My Name" begins playing bombastically. As the lyrics start, Ned Kaye stands at the point where the spotlights merge to thunderous applause. He lifts his fist up in the air, awaiting the crowd to do the same before rushing down to the ring, serenaded by blue hues that light up the ramp following his steps. The lights above the stadium darken in their blue color as Ned gets closer to the ring, little bits of ember adorning the X-Tron and ramp, orange breaking up the blue. He leaps over the ropes into the ring before looking down, breathing the moment in, and pointing out at the crowd, ready to fight just with their energy alone. Jumping a bit from the adrenaline, he makes his way to his corner as he prepares for the bell.
The former XWF Universal Champion as well as longest reigning tag team champion as part of Cataclysm "Chronic" Chris Page appears at the top of the stage as boos reign down upon him. Page laughs it off as he casually walks down the entry ramp and climbs into the ring. Never taking his eyes off of Ned Kaye.
NED KAYE
- vs -
CHRIS PAGE 6k rp word cap - Standard Singles Match
HHL: And now we come to the rubber match of this match up. Chris Page won round 1 at back in June of 2019 and Ned returned the favor with a win in the opening match of Relentless night 3 just a few months ago. Who you got taking this one Pip?
Pip: Chris Page all the way. Chris Page doesn't lose often and he certainly doesn't lose two in a row to the same guy. Ever.
HHL: Well I'm not sure that's entirely true Pip but it's probably been true recently.
Edinburgh Castle pulses with energy as the Scottish crowd anticipates the upcoming match between the two old rivals. Ned, The lifelong XWF fan, now an on-screen star, exudes a mix of passion and determination that gleams in his eyes. On the opposite side of the ring stands Chris Page, the iconic figure looking almost stoic expression.
Kaye and Page lock eyes as they circle each other. The tension in the castle is palpable. Kaye tests Page’s reflexes with a sly leg kick at Page’s calf. However the veteran doesn’t flinch, not even acknowledging it. Page almost mocks Ned’s previous move by making a move as if to try and make him flinch, a slight grin coming across his face. However Ned this time no-sells, not reacting.
HHL: Ned looks very locked in here as Page is trying to get the early upper hand.
Both men’s fingers are splayed, wiggling as if anticipating something about to happen. Ned makes the first move, going for a leg sweep but Page jumps over his sweeping leg and he grabs Ned into a tight headlock, squeezing hard. Ned rams a defensive fist into Page’s ribs and backs up into the ropes before he sends Page for an Irish Whip. As Page comes back, Ned lowers himself prone to the mat but instead of jumping over him, he stops and drops a hard elbow drop onto Ned’s back before locking him in an early STF submission hold. Ned has no problem getting to the bottom rope and pulls himself up after the referee forces Page to release the hold.
HHL: I'm a little surprised Page released the hold so easily there. He's usually one to take an extra second or 5 before following the rules.
Pip: What are rules really Heather but simple suggestions for simple people.
Page gives a smirk, tapping his temple as Ned gets back to his feet. The pace of the match immediately quickens as Ned goes on the offensive, running towards Page going for a clothesline but Page ducks his head. Ned keeps his momentum going, coming back off the opposite set of ropes and takes down page with a picture perfect dropkick.
Page bounces straight back up though but is met with another dropkick from the Notorious one. Page backs up into one of the corners, looking a little caught off-guard and this time it’s Ned’s turn to adopt a smirk and he taps his own temple. They come together in the middle of the ring, engaging in a test of strength and Page easily overpowers Kaye, who finds himself driven into the corner.
HHL: Page looking like a man possesed out there. He overpowered Ned with what looked like little effort.
However, Kaye, refusing to yield, deftly sidesteps, using his technical prowess to outmaneuver Page. The crowd erupts in cheers as a well-executed Legsweep sends Page crashing to the canvas. Kaye seizes the moment, targeting Page's legs with a series of Double Knees and Knee Drops. He aims to weaken the foundation of the Porter Games cupholder, showcasing his persistence in the face of adversity. Page winces but fights back to his feet, pushing Ned off him and retaliates with a powerful Overhead Belly-to-Belly Suplex, momentarily shifting the momentum in his favor.
Page grabs Ned back up, cracking him across the chest with a hard knife-edge chop that causes Ned to wince before drilling him down with a hard DDT. Page straightaway goes for a cover and the referee counts
1….
But Ned kicks out with authority.
HHL: There's no way Page thought he was pinning Ned after that. Clearly he's just playing head games with his opponent.
Pip: Chris Page play head games? Never.
Page grabs Ned and wraps his legs up in a figure four but can’t quite get him to tap out as he’s able to get to the ropes but favors his knees slightly. Page takes advantage, stomping away at them as Ned tries to get back to his feet. Page takes him down again with a well-timed chop block before hitting him with a T-Bone suplex. He goes for another cover but again is only able to secure a nearfall.
Ned soon finds his way back into the match after Page goes for a German suplex. Ned reverses the polarity, initiating a reverse standing switch and spikes Page with a reverse rana. An Arm Drag and Spinning Heel Kick leave Page momentarily dazed, setting the stage for Kaye's Sitout Shiranui.
Yet, as the match progresses, Kaye's upper body weakness becomes apparent. Page, keenly aware of this vulnerability, focuses his onslaught on Kaye's shoulders and arms. A Hangman's DDT and a punishing Piledriver rattle Kaye, testing the limits of his resilience.
HHL: Page with the advantage early but Ned is one of those guys who just doesn't have any quit in him and we can see it on full display in this match so far.
Pip: What you call no quit I call being an idiot. There's no shame in admitting defeat.
The ebb and flow of the match continues, with Kaye countering Page's power with agility and precision. The crowd roars in appreciation as Kaye executes The Disciplinary Action slingshot hurricanrana that leaves Page reeling. The tenacity of the former Universal Champion is not to be underestimated, and a thunderous German Suplex counters Kaye's attempted Notorious Knee (V-Trigger) after sidestepping it.
Page, fueled by the taste of momentum, seizes the opportunity and locks in an Ankle Lock, further exploiting Kaye's vulnerable shoulders. The crowd watches with bated breath as Kaye grimaces, enduring the pain. The in-ring tactician's persistence is put to the ultimate test.
In a strategic move, Kaye manages to shift his weight, countering the Ankle Lock into a desperate Arm Drag that frees him from Page's clutches. The crowd erupts in cheers at Kaye's resilience, but the toll on his upper body is evident.
HHL: The fans are now coalescing behing Ned Kaye here as the tide of the match is starting to shift.
Sensing an opening, Page unleashes a relentless assault on Kaye's shoulders. A Snap Suplex and Reverse DDT follow in quick succession, Despite the onslaught, Kaye uses the ropes for leverage, executing a Tree of Woe Double Stomp that catches Page off guard.
Seizing the opportunity, Kaye shifts gears, relying on his legs to launch a rapid-fire assault. A series of Bicycle Kicks and a well-timed dropkick find their mark, stunning Page and shifting the momentum once again. Ned employs a Step-up Enzuigiri that leaves Page dazed near the ropes.
HHL: Ned has an opening here to inflict some serious damage on his opponent if he strikes fast.
But Page roars back into action. The former Universal Champion displays his raw strength with another T-Bone Suplex, sending Kaye soaring through the air. As the match intensifies, Kaye's hesitation surfaces. The psychological battle between his passion and the haunting memories of past failures plays out on his face. Page, sensing the internal struggle, capitalizes on the momentary distraction, locking Kaye in another Figure Four Leg Lock.
The pain etches across Kaye's face as he desperately reaches for the ropes. The crowd rallies behind him, urging him to endure. With sheer determination, Kaye inches closer to the ropes, the strain evident in every movement.
The relentless battle between Ned Kaye and Chris Page shows no signs of waning as the second chapter unfolds. The arena pulses with energy as the crowd becomes increasingly invested in the struggle between the in-ring tactician and the powerhouse.
Kaye, having managed to break free from the Figure Four Leg Lock, rolls to the outside of the ring, clutching his aching limbs. Page, undeterred, follows him, determined to exploit the weakened state of his opponent. The referee begins the count, but Page is uninterested in a victory by count-out. He hurls Kaye back into the ring, ready to resume the onslaught.
HHL: Looks to me like Page has had enough of this match and is looking to end it right here.
Pip: I agree Heather. Chris Page has toyed with his prey long enough.
Seizing the moment, Page locks in a Texas Cloverleaf, applying immense pressure on Kaye's already battered legs. Ned’s face contorts with pain as he fights against the submission hold. The crowd show their admiration for Ned’s resilience. Drawing from his deep well of perseverance, Ned summons the strength to crawl toward the ropes. With a final surge, Ned clasps the bottom rope, forcing Page to break the hold and the crowd erupts in cheers.
As Ned rises, the effects of the match are etched across his face. Page, however, remains a stoic force, ready for the next phase of the battle. The two lock up once again, but this time, Ned utilizes his technical prowess to gain the upper hand. An Arm Drag and a Spinning Heel Kick create an opening for him to execute the Notorious Knee (V-Trigger), cracking Page in the face.
HHL: Page is absolutely going to feel that one in the morning if not 10 seconds from now.
The crowd roars as Kaye connects with the knee strike, momentarily stunning Page. Seeing another opening, Kaye grabs Page in a front face lock, pulling towards one of the corners and he ascends the turnbuckle, looking for another Trooper’s Tribute Tornado DDT. But as Kaye takes flight, Page counters with a great display of strength. Mid-flight, Page catches Kaye, transitioning seamlessly into an audacious Northern Lights suplex! The impact resonates through the ring, leaving Ned sprawled on the canvas. Page defies his age and bridges into a pinning combination! The referee counts!
1….
2….
But Ned manages to kick out, much to the delight of the fans.
HHL: Page almost stole on there.
Pip: Stole one? He's been dominating for 95% of the match!!
Page pulls Ned to his feet by the hair. Page, with a stern expression, locks eyes with his adversary. The castle crackles with energy as the two competitors, each marked by the wear and tear of the match, face off once more. Undeterred Kaye shows his persistence by delivering a swift knee to Page's midsection. With a sudden burst of energy, he follows up with a Snap DDT, driving Page's head into the canvas. Ned adjusts his strategy, moving to Page’s lower half where he takes a page out of his book and locks in an Ankle Lock. Page grimaces in pain as the submission hold tightens,
However, Page manages to reverse the Ankle Lock, turning the tables on Kaye, twisting his body around and delivering a hard upkick to the face that forces him to relinquish the hold. With Ned momentarily staggered, Page rolls back to his feet and pulls him, driving his knees into his face with a Codebreaker. He goes for another cover.
1…
2…
Once more, Ned tenaciously kicks out. Then, with a predatory glint in his eyes, Page targets Ned's midsection with a series of well-placed knee strikes. Kayes winces, feeling the effects. Page, relentless in his approach, follows up with a brutal Belly-to-Belly Suplex, sending Kaye sprawling across the canvas. As he continues his dominance, the crowd rallies behind Ned, their cheers reaching a crescendo.
Refusing to be overshadowed, Kaye fights back with a burst of agility. He maneuvers behind Page, executing a well-timed Reverse DDT. Momentarily disoriented, this gives Kaye the opening he needs. With a quick recovery, Ned ascends the turnbuckle, looking to capitalize on the situation. The crowd roars in anticipation as Kaye readies himself for a high-risk maneuver. He leaps, aiming for a spectacular shooting star press.
However Page is able to get his knees up, driving them hard into Ned’s ribs. He rolls onto his stomach, clutching his chest in pain as Page jadedly gets back to his feet. He soon reasserts himself, pulling Ned into a double underhook position, setting him up for the Page Plant.
With the crowd firmly behind him, Ned Kaye digs deep into his reserves, countering Chris Page's attempt at the Page Plant with a lightning-fast reversal. Kaye manages to shift his weight mid-air, turning the tables on him in a remarkable display of agility.
In an unexpected twist, Kaye converts the attempted Page Plant into a back body drop. Page grimaces, holding the small of his back but has no time to recuperate as his head nearly comes off his shoulders when Ned comes in full force with the Notorious Knee! Seamlessly and surging with adrenaline, Ned ascends the nearest turnbuckle, steadying himself. He leaps off, catching Page around the shoulders and executes The Ego Crusher! The crowd pop like crazy as Page struggles within the headscissors submission. We can hear both men shouting and yelling out as Ned wrenches back on the submission. Eventually, the pain is too much and incredibly, Page taps and the referee calls for the bell!
Winner - Ned Kaye
HHL: He did it. An incredible back and forth match between the legend Chris Page and the fan favorite underdog Ned Kaye resulted in a victory for Ned Kaye in the rubber match.
Pip: Page was robbed!!! I demand a recount!
HHL: That's not how that works Pip.
HHL: Folks, this next match is going to be ‘LIT’ as the youths say!
PIP: Jesus Christ, Heather, don’t try to be hip. Just call the action and watch this bloodbath fill every tub in the Scottish Isles.
PYRO! LASER LIGHTS!
The bass is so deep, the ramp rumbles to the beat…
Or could that be the massive step of the dominant tank that is…
CRAM!
HHL: CRAM’s debut match in the XWF! And he’s kicking off his career in Scotland! Pip, what do you think about this mysterious, dominant-looking force coming to the land of X-Treme
PIP: Heather, Cram painted a huge target on his back. The DAY that the promo window opened, CRAM dropped a fiery diss track on the Television champion. Not a lot of competitors get a title shot their first time in an XWF ring… But, CRAM called his opportunity like Babe Ruth… The only thing left to do now is hit a home run…
HHL: Well, there’s plenty of bats in the ring to knock WIsh’s skull out of the park!
Indeed, CRAM walks up the ramp. The ring is filled to the brim with baseball bats, light tubes, barbed wire rolls, thumbtack bags…
CRAM grins fiendishly, walking past all of these potential match-Enders… Eagerly imagining using each one on his opponent… He scoops a bat off the mat… And a spool of barbed-wire, wrapping it around the bat!
HHL: Ingenious improvised craftsmanship by the challenger!
It shows Tommy in the shadows in a corridor somewhere on the X-Tron in a hoodie, holding the Television Title over his head.
Then it fades back into the arena where the lights flicker and the camera sees him coming down to the ring in his jacket hoodie, in one hand, his championship belt, his other hand waving a Kendo Stick around him. Then he nods his head to the beat, and he gives some fans some dap as he walks down to the ramp, then he slides into the ring, and gets on the turnbuckle and poses to the crowd with the stick in the air. Then he comes down from there, and stands on the corner leaning on the corner as his theme fades off.
HHL: Tommy Wish! Just a few short weeks ago, Wish pulled off the upset of the century and found a way to beat wrestling legend Bulk Logan! He won the Television champion and became possibly the XWF’s most controversial TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION! Quite a career accomplishment, huh, Pip?
PIP: What a thing… Tommy Wish, Triple-Crown Champion… Regardless of how you feel about him, Wish has proven himself an opportunist. And an irritant. He and CRAM have been trading diss tracks, rubbing each other wrong leading up to this BARBED WIRE DEATH MATCH.
HHL: No doubt, Pip. There is ZERO LOVE between these competitors. They have a clear spark of animosity, and all these weapons are dry tinder… We have all the ingredients for an EXPLOSIVE MATCH!
Wish dismounts the corner… Still sporting his kendo stick. Wish deposits the belt in the corner…
CRAM dings his makeshift barbed-wire bat against his boots, like a batter approaching the plate.
The official timidly steps up, like he’s almost terrified to step between these two men…
BUT NOT WAITING FOR THE BELL, THE CHAMP CHARGES!
WHAP! He strikes Cram in the shoulder! Cram’s face contorts in pain!
HHL: Ooh! The Television champ jumps the starting bell!
…The official sees the champ’s attack… And sees the opening he needs to ring the bell without anyone noticing him…
The TV champ does everything he can to stay on the attack! A second swing! A third! CRAM starts to backpedal…
HHL: Wish clearly trying to take CRAM’s dominant arm out of the equation early!
A four-
CRAM catches the kendo stick! And tucks it under his arm, dragging Wish towards himself…
HEADBUTT!
Wish gets ROCKED by CRAM’s Samoan Skull, his legs jellifying as CRAM tosses away Wish’s kendo stick… Bringing his bat up to Wish’s skull…
HHL: Oh man! CRAM masterfully just disarmed Wish! This is no man’s land for the champion!
PIP: No doubt, Heather! A single swing from that bat is a KNOCKOUT BLOW!
Here’s the windup…
CRAM swings!
…But Wish ducks under the shot… And sprints toward the corner…
CRAM spins around towards his opponent…
Just as Wish kicks off the middle turnbuckle…
RUNNING SHOULDERBLOCK FROM WISH TO CRAM!
…
…
But CRAM IS UNMOVED! (Though he does drop the bat involuntarily)
HHL: Wow! Wish is one of the biggest men in the XWF at 320 pounds!
PIP: But that’s one-hundred-forty pounds less than the BEHEMOTH that is CRAM! Tommy doesn’t have a lot of experience being the smaller competitor…
HHL: But he better be a quick learner!
Wish stands shoulder-to-shoulder, shocked that CRAM stayed on his feet!
CRAM smiles with a twisted sneer… As he grabs Wish under his arms…
AND THREE-HUNDRED-TWENTY POUNDS OF TOMMY WISH FLY THROUGH THE AIR!
BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!
HHL: OH MY GOD! THE POWER OF CRAM IS ON FULL DISPLAY HERE!
Wish lands HARD on the back of his neck, woozily stumbling back to his feet!
As CRAM shoves Wish back into the turnbuckle the champ was just posing confidently atop… His TV title belt just beneath his boots now…
Wish grits his teeth as his spine BUCKLES against the turnbuckle, wrapping both arms around the top rope…
CRAM charges, looking for a corner splash…
HHL: Oh man… If the champ doesn’t want to get flattened, he needs to find a way to stop CRAM’s momentum…
…Wish leans back against the ropes…
CRAM’S CHARGING!!!
When, WHAM!
Wish forces his boot up off the mat, catching CRAM square in the nose!
PIP: Desperation counter! Wish managed to use CRAM’s own speed against him! CRAM just rammed his own face against Wish’s boot!
CRAM reels back, stuttering back on his heels…
…As Tommy reaches down and grabs his belt off the mat…
CRAM GRITS HIS TEETH! HE FLEXES! HE REFUSES TO GO DOWN!
…
But Tommy loads his belt in his arms as CRAM speeds in once more!
DISCUS TITLE BELT SHOT!
WHAM!
…
CRAM’s hard Samoan skull is split wide open! He falls on his back!
Wish scrambles into a cover, the belt still in his arms!
The official drops to count!
1!
2!
THR-NO!
CRAM forces a shoulder off the mat!
The crowd pops! Wish’s eyes are wide in disbelief!
HHL: Wow! I think Tommy thought he’d just stolen his first defense off the monster CRAM!
Wish quickly rises to his feet… as CRAM brushes away the blood gushing down his skull…
Wish scrambles across the mat, grabbing a bag of thumbtacks… He unties the bag and pours them onto the mat, as the crowd ooohs with anticipation!
HHL: Wish clearly ready to put CRAM away! Quickly and violently!
CRAM slowly rises to his feet, as Wish positions himself behind his challenger… Doing some quick mental math…
PIP: Wish has sadistic intentions here!
As CRAM gets back to a vertical base, bent-over… Wish charges from behind!
HE GRABS CRAM IN A SIDE HEADLOCK!
HHL: Oh! Wish is aiming to bulldog CRAM face-first onto those thumbtacks!
WISH HEAVES HIS LEGS INTO THE AIR!
…
……
BUT CRAM HOLDS WISH IN MIDAIR!
HHL: Oh my God! CRAM is a fucking OLYMPIAN!
Wish’s legs kick in the air, trying to escape CRAM’s grip!
…But CRAM Holds on!
SPINS IN PLACE!
AND FALLS BACKWARDS, DUMPING WISH BACKFIRST ONTO THE THUMBTACKS!
The crowd screams in awe! Blood pools, running down the Television champ’s back!
PIP: Absolutely SICK!
HHL: But effective! CRAM might have the win locked up here…
…
CRAM rolls over into an exhausted lateral press!
1!
2!
THREEEEENOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tommy Wish, running on pure adrenaline, rolls his shoulder off the mat! The crowd pops! CRAM’s bloody face twists in fury!
HHL: Ooooh, I think CRAM made a critical mistake there! If he had pinned Wish with all of his body, Wish might not have had the window to kick out? Will that cost him the match in the end?
CRAM snarls furiously, jaw-jacking down at Wish, who looks like he’s in a state of paralyzed shock, with all those thumbtacks embedded into his back.
CRAM grabs Wish by the skull and heaves him off his feet…
PIP: CRAM looking for a big finish here! We might just have a new champion!
CRAM grabs Wish by the throat, looking for a Pop-Up Powerbomb!
CRAM scoops Wish into the a-
BUT WISH DEADWEIGHTS!
LATCHES ONTO CRAM’S SKULL!
AND DRAGS HIM FACE FIRST TO THE MAT!
HIDEYAFACE (Implant DDT!)
The crowd pops, as CRAM does a full somersault off the top of his dome, before landing flat on his back, counting stars!
HHL: HOLY HELL! A HIDEYAFACE from OUTTA NOWHERE!
PIP: Incredible wherewithal by the Triple Crown Champion, Tommy Wish!
…Wish’s teeth grit, rubbing his back, which is still a PIN CUSHION of thumbtacks…
PIP: Ooooh, I think that Implant DDT might’ve done some damage to Tommy as well! He’s slow to get the pin!
…Wish crawls toward the prone CRAM…
And grabs…
…
CRAM’s ankle!
The crowd pops as Wish works to twist CRAM onto his front!
PIP: Wish looking to end this match by submission! He’s looking for the Fetish Lock!
HHL: Samoans have famously hard bones and high pain tolerances! Can Wish even inflict enough pain to make CRAM tap out?
Wish works with every fiber of his being to twist CRAM into ankle lock position… CRAM’s eyes widen! He stiffens up, working with every muscle to resist Wish’s submission efforts!
PIP: The ultimate test of strength here! Both men digging their heels in! This exchange could decide the whole match!
…Wish grits his teeth, pushing with all he has…
CRAM holds firm!
Wish chokes up on CRAM’s leg, trying to get some extra torque to force CRAM up and over!
…BUT CRAM SITS UP OFF THE MAT AND…
WHAM!
A SAMOAN HEADBUTT FROM THE MAT!
THE COCONUT CRAM!
…CRAM’s ankle slips from Wish’s fingers… He dazily paws in midair!
HHL: Holy hell, that headbutt might’ve knocked Wish out of this hemisphere!
PIP: But, somehow, some way! Wish’s feet are still standing in Scotland, Heather!
Indeed, his legs are shaky, and it’s not clear if he’s conscious… But somehow, Tommy Wish remains standing…
CRAM crawls up to his feet…
Face-to-face with Tommy…
Wish is rapidly blinking… Clearly unconscious.
Blood runs down his scalp… It’s not immediately clear if the blood is his or CRAM’s…
CRAM grins…
HHL: Say what you will about Tommy Wish… (he’s a sexual deviant who disrespects women’s personal boundaries)… But he’s also one tough Ess Oh Bee!
PIP: WIsh is out! CRAM has this match won already!
He grabs from the mat…
His improvised barbed wire bat.
HHL: Wait! This is completely unnecessary!
PIP: Heather, you just said how tough Wish is! CRAM is just making sure the champ stays down!
CRAM rests the bat against WIsh’s head…
Here’s the windup…
…
WHAM!
…
Wish crumples in a heap, flat on his back.
Wish’s face is covered in a crimson mask…
CRAM drops a foot on Tommy’s chest.
The official drops to count…
1!
2!
THREE!
WINNER AND NEEEEEEEEEEEW XWF TELEVISION CHAMPION: CRAM!
The official quickly scoops the belt off the mat and hands i-
CRAM RIPS IT OUT OF THE OFFICIAL’S ARMS…
And lifts it to the crowd! They hoop and holler!
HHL: Wow! What an absolute bloodbath! What carnage! What mayhem!
PIP: Tommy Wish chose this stipulation, Heather! He had a vision of absolute physical agony and mutilation tonight, Heather! The only thing he didn’t foresee? Getting run the fuck over! ALL HAIL CRAM! THE NEW TELEVISION CHAMPION!
As the ring crew starts leaving weapons around the ring.
TIG: Ladies and Gentlemen, our next match is a Braveheart Match for the XWF Tag Team Championships!
Comanche by the Revels strikes up, and Bobby Bourbon walks out through the entrance in black and silver ring gear, holding the Grav-O-Matic Sword. The music dies down, and Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles begins. Mark Flynn walks out, an heirloom purple lightsaber in hand. The music quickly dies down as a gang of officials all rush out, stopping both men.
PIP: Heather, it looks like the XWF are strictly enforcing the fact that only medieval weapons are allowed ringside tonight!
HHL: As they should, Pip. Bobby Bourbon and Mark Flynn won’t get to use their super-advanced cyberpunk space opera technology here tonight!
…
HHL: I can’t believe I just said that sentence.
Bobby and Mark look outraged at the fact they can’t bring their own weapons with them to the ring, and storm back through the entrance.
The music strikes up, and the fans go wild knowing the JustUS League are on their way to the ring.
TIG: Your XWF Champions, at a total combined weight of Truth and Justice, hailing from Grand City, THE JUST USSS LEEEEEEAGUE!
Standing high atop the buttress of Edinburgh Castle, we see the Blue Tango and the Atomic Bat, standing stoically in the night sky, the light of a full moon behind them. They both spread their wings, and begin to glide down to the ringside area! They both land ringside, Tango grabbing a Battle Axe and AB grabbing a crossbow!
HHL: This is going to be a brutal one, Pip. The Blue Tango and Atomic Bat were quick to arm themselves!
PIP: A crossbow? Really! What if Atomic Bat misses and shoots an audience member?
Tango and AB hand their Tag Team Titles to the referee, who holds them both sky high, then handing them to the timekeeper.
HHL: The next team, well, has a history, Pip.
PIP: That’s right! Bobby Bourbon and Mark Flynn have faced each other throughout their career, with varying partners, but never on the same side!
The lights surrounding the arena dim. On the XTron, we see a clip from the film Ant-Man.
“We’re the good guys, right?”
“Yeah, we’re the good guys.”
As Bulls on Parade begins to blare throughout the arena, two spotlights shine down on the entryway. Bobby and Mark both walk out, silently, and stop in the spotlights. Bobby raises his arms at forty-five degree angles as Mark continues his walk down to the ring, neither man acknowledging the crowd which is going absolutely insane.
HHL: Pip, these guys had an entrance laid out?
PIP: Both men know what tag team wrestling is all about, Heather, who knows what else they have in store tonight!
Mark enters the ring, removing his black and silver robe, and snarls at the Blue Tango and the Atomic Bat. Bobby pauses ringside, picking up a spear and a tower shield. He climbs the stairs and enters the ring, tapping Flynn on the shoulder. Mark glances back and Bobby hands him the spear, then takes his place in front of him with the shield.
HHL: They just formed a phalanx!
PIP: The JustUS League look on in wonder!
"THE JUST-US LEAGUE
THE ATOMIC BAT AND THE BLUE TANGO
- vs -
BOBBY BOURBON AND MARK FLYNN 2 rps/Unlimited - "Braveheart" Tag Team Match
Ring will be surrounded with medieval era weapons
The referee calls for the bell! As soon as she does, AB fires the crossbow, and the bolt lodges itself into the hefty wooden shield! Tango advances, but is held off by the distance the spear covers! Tango throws the axe at Bobby and Mark, and Bobby swats it down with the shield! In lock step, Bobby and Mark both step forward, advancing at the JustUS League!
HHL: This is a Braveheart match, but these men are going full 300!
PIP: Gerard Butler IS in attendance Heather!
The camera shows Gerard Butler sitting in the front row. He smiles. The camera goes back to the ring, and both Tango and AB bail out of the ring! The JustUS League round the ring, but Bobby and Mark pivot, keeping formation! Tango points to AB, and runs to one side of the ring, and AB runs to the other! Mark turns to face Tango as Bobby turns to face AB, but the back of the spear whacks Bobby in the head! Bobby immediately turns and shoves Mark! Mark drops the spear and turns to Bobby, sticking a finger right in his face! Bobby tosses the shield and starts yelling at Mark!
HHL: And then the wheels fell off, Pip. It was nice while it lasted.
Tango and AB, realizing their opponents are distracted, both rush into the ring, but pause! Mark shoves Bobby! Bobby shoves Mark! Tango shrugs and sits back in the corner, as does AB!
PIP: Tango and the Atomic Bat thought they were having a match tonight, but it looks like their opponents are taking care of everything for them!
Mark slaps Bobby across the face! Bobby turns his head back to him, and bull rushes him into the corner, pancaking Tango! Bobby then grabs Mark and hurls him across the ring, but Mark adjusts in midair, landing a dropkick to AB! AB moves at the last second, and Mark lands seated on the second turnbuckle facing the corner post! Bobby brings Tango to his feet, but Tango with a thumb to Bobby’s eye! Tango pivots Bobby into the corner! Tango sets up an Irish whip to the other side! AB spins Mark around and throws a nasty back chop! AB sets for an Irish whip! The JustUS League each whip their opponents at one another!
HHL: Huge impact coming!
PIP: Not quite, Heather!
Bobby bounds as Mark slides, both men avoiding one another!
HHL: I guess nobody makes Bobby and Mark hit each other besides Bobby and Mark!
Bobby continues to rush at AB, who deftly side steps as Bobby crashes into her corner while Tango rushes at Mark, stomping at him on the ground! AB with a few clubbing forearms to Bobby! She pulls the big man out of the corner and hits a Russian leg sweep! Tango cradles Mark!
1…
2…
Flynn kicks out!
HHL: Tango tried!
AB rolls Bobby out of the ring, letting him fall to the floor, and she turns and walks towards Mark! Tango and AB bring Mark to his feet, and hit a stereo back chop onto him! Mark reels backward, and Tango and AB step in with stereo dropkicks! Mark is backed into the ropes! Tango and AB run to the opposite ropes in unison, but AB is tripped by Bobby from the floor, grabbing the leg as she rebounds! Bobby yanks her out of the ring. Tango halts, and turns, glaring at Bobby! Bobby looks at Tango, then points at him and starts laughing!
PIP: Is Bobby taunting the Blue Tango here? Usually he’s all business in the ring, Heather!
HHL: I don’t think the Blue Tango realizes what Bobby finds so funny!
Tango turns, right into the knee of Mark, who rushed across the ring! Tango goes ass over teakettle over the top rope, and is caught by Bobby! Huge spinebuster to Tango! AB is up to her feet, and she’s greeted with a massive spinebuster from Bobby! Tango is back up, and another spinebuster to Tango! AB is back up, and as Bobby takes his place as mayor of spinebuster city, Mark is in with a baseball slide to AB, sending her into the barricade. Bobby looks at Mark and begins shouting at him!
HHL: Bourbon really wanted to smash AB into the ground!
PIP: These two would be devastating, if they could get along long enough!
Mark continues out of the ring, and he and Bobby engage in another shouting match ringside. As they do, Tango and AB recover! Tango spins Bobby, and AB spins Mark! Bobby grabs Tango by the throat, dropping him with an EMC! Mark lifts AB up and brings her down, straddling the barricade! Bobby drops to all fours, and Mark stands on his back, then leapfrogs onto the barricade, then leaps again cracking AB with a knee!
HHL: Ooh, nasty Counter Point from Flynn!
The fans are going wild, and Bobby gets back to his feet! He turns and points at Flynn, hollering again, and Mark turns and continues to bicker with Bobby! Having had enough, each man grabs a claymore from the floor! Mark and Bobby swing, the clash of their blades echoing throughout the arena! Mark and Bobby swing again at one another, but the swords just meet, then break at the hilt. Bobby and Mark both look down at the bladeless hilts in their hands, then at each other. They simultaneously throw them at each other!
PIP: C’mon! These two could be the greatest tag team ever if they just stopped fighting each other!
HHL: These two are like oil and water!
PIP: That’s Italian dressing Heather! It seems they keep giving the JustUS League a chance to get back into this!
Tango and AB are back up, and Bobby and Mark rush at each other! At the last minute, though, Bobby grabs Mark and throws him back into the ring, stepping aside as he does while AB hurls a bola at both men! The bola careens past them and clocks Tango! Bobby plows into AB with a clothesline, then tosses her into the ring! Bobby turns and throws the boots to Tango on the arena floor! Tango writhes, trying to get untangled from the bola! AB and Mark clash in the ring, each throwing massive forearms into each other! Flynn ducks a forearm and transitions into a rear waistlock! German suplex from Mark! NO! AB flips out of it and lands on her feet! Mark is quick to his feet, and AB rolls him up with an inside cradle!
1…
2…
Flynn kicks out on his own volition!
HHL: Pip, this one is getting wild in Edinburgh!
PIP: “Getting”? It’s been wild since the word go!
Both Mark and AB are back to their feet, and both rebound off the ropes at each other! AB stops at the ropes, and in grabbing the top rope drops, and Flynn tumbles over the top rope and onto the apron! AB is in quick, and throws a forearm at Flynn! Flynn throws a forearm back, sending her reeling! Flynn then stops, pointing at AB and laughing. AB looks perplexed and irate at this! She turns to rebound into the ropes again, and immediately stops as her face plants into Bobby’s chest! Bobby looks down at her menacingly. AB throws a right at Bobby, who catches her fist! Bobby with a boot to the gut, and he hoists her up for the Bobbybomb!
HHL: Tango is still on the floor!
PIP: Heather, what is Bobby doing!
Mark looks on in awe as Bobby shifts AB on his shoulders so they’re both facing the same direction. Bobby looks at Mark and points at him. Mark’s eyes go wide as the fans are going absolutely wild! Mark climbs to the top rope, and Bobby turns his back to him! Mark soars, and as Bobby hits the electric chair drop, Flynn catches AB with a perfect cutter onto the tower shield!
HHL: HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT!
PIP: The Atomic Bat is history!
Bobby rolls back as Mark makes the cover!
1…
2…
Blue Tango is back in the ring and dives! He crashes into Flynn just as the referee’s hand is dropping…
3!
WINNER, AND NEW XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS…
Bobby and Mark both stop Tig from making her call! They both say something in unison to her as Tango appeals to the referee.
HHL: That was close, Pip! Tango broke up the pinfall, I swear!
PIP: The call is standing, for now, Heather, but why did Bobby and Mark cut Tig O’Bitties off!
HHL: They love the sound of their own voice!
Tig looks somewhat confused.
TIG: What?
Bobby and Mark repeat themselves, in unison, to Tig as Tango kneels at the fallen Atomic Bat.
Winner and NEW XWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS - BOBBY BOURBON AND MARK FLYNN
The referee hands the new champions their gold. Bobby grabs his, as does Mark. The referee goes to raise their hands, but both men walk out of the ring and head up the ramp, neither acknowledging the other.
HHL: Unbelievable. What started out as Vinnie Lane playing a joke on Theo Pryce has now turned into a title reign for two rivals as well as marking the end of a really great run by the former Tag Team Champs The Just-Us League.
Pip: They were lame. The world doesn't need super heroes.
HHL: The world needs super heroes now more then ever Pip but in the meantime we get the team of Bobby Bourbon and Mark Flynn.
HHL: Ladies and gentlemen, this next match has a big fight feel and we’d be lying if we weren’t looking forward to it.
PIP: Thaddeus Duke, whether you like him, love him or hate him, has bled black and blue for over a decade. That young man was born into this business, born into the XWF and while he doesn’t compete much anymore, any time he does, it’s a big damn deal.
HHL: Sean Parker comes home tonight! He’s been making waves all over the industry and tonight, we’re practically in his backyard!
PIP: It may be his backyard but the Lionheart said it best, this is the XWF. And the XWF is and always will be his house!
HHL: Be that as it may, Sean Parker has the ability to beat Thaddeus Duke, Pip!
PIP: I won’t deny it, Heather! But it remains to be seen if he can do what so few have and that’s defeat the Lionheart here tonight in Scotland!
The bell rings to grab the attention of fans as they return to their seats.
The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first!
The spotlights that encompass Edinburgh Castle suddenly go out which draws a large cheer from the crowd, anticipating something about to happen. A moment later, a rogue spotlight casts down on renowned bagpipe musician Ally the Piper as she performs a beautiful rendition of Scotland’s national anthem, the Flower of Scotland. As the melody plays, the camera pans across the fans in attendance who are all singing in perfect harmony, saltires and lion rampant flags waving patriotically. As the song comes to an end, “Ken’s Theme [Metal Cover]” by ToxicxEternity seamlessly takes over, playing loudly throughout the castle and the fans come to their feet, knowing what that means.
From DUNFERMLINE, SCOTLAND!!!
The crowd comes to life with another thunderous cheer.
HHL: The King of the Skies with obvious home field advantage!
Weighing 215lbs, he is “The Sky Assassin” SEAN PAAAAAAAAARKEEEEEER!!
Moments later, Sean erupts from behind the curtain, looking extremely pumped. Half his face is painted blue and looks like one of his arms is too and instead of his usual ring-walk hooded waistcoat, Sean is sporting a navy blue-colored Scotland national football jersey, with the number 10 and “Parker” printed across the back. Sean runs to either side of the entranceway, geeing up the fans, acknowledging the deafening cheers before making his way down the ramp. As he climbs into the ring, he pulls off the football jersey showing him to be fully painted in blue down one half his body, shades of Rowdy Roddy Piper from WrestleMania VI. Sean takes the time to climb up each of the turnbuckles, playing to the crowd again, thumping his chest passionately before dropping back down and taking his place in one of the corners as he waits for Thad Duke to make his entrance.
His opponent!
Immediately, the venue is showered in a mixed reaction. Many cheers eventually turn to boos. Several long moments go by that causes Sean Parker to start pacing while keeping his eyes trained on the entrance way.
HHL: Ever the dramatic one, we await the arrival of the Lionheart!
PIP: And these peasants eat it up!
‘Sirius’ plays as the fans begin to boo louder and louder. After the transition from ‘Sirius’ to ‘My Name Is Human’, there’s still no sign of Thaddeus Duke.
HHL: Where the hell is he?
No sooner does Heather utter the question, does “Chronic” Chris Page emerge from backstage.
HHL: What!?
PIP: Sean Parker’s White Whale!
HHL: There is a deep history between Thaddeus Duke and Chris Page! Pip, what does this even mean!?
PIP: I think it’s obvious that the Lionheart is playing mind games with Sean Parker!
Introducing his manager for the evening… CHRONIC CHRIIIIIIIS PAAAAAAGE!
Chris Page makes his way to the ring without Thaddeus Duke. Sean Parker conceals his feelings about the situation at the moment as Page stops at the end of the ramp and shoots his famous smirk at Parker as Thad’s usual entrance theme fades out.
HHL: But where the hell is Thad?
The lights flicker and go out. Camera flashes are clearly evident all over the venue. Soon, the entrance way, the ramp, and the ring are all shrouded in the famous Thaddeus Duke gold “mood lighting.” Most fans cheer initially before again, they turn to boos.
During the first minute intro of ‘The King’s Arrival’, several men in ornate medieval armor emerge from backstage. Lining either side of the ramp, they raise championship belts instead of swords. A minute in, when the drum beat drops, a black warhorse emerges from backstage. The rider? The Lionheart himself.
HHL: For nearly half of this company's existence, the name Duke has been synonymous with the XWF! It’s virtually impossible to think of one without the other!
PIP: Look at that legacy, Heather! 19 championships! 17 of them from right here in the XWF! And the Lionheart owns that legacy!
From New York City, weighing 223 pounds…. The LIONHEARRRRT! THADDEUSSS DUUUUUKE!
Thaddeus Duke wears black, white and old royal regalia complete with a crown upon his head. The crown is tilted forward somewhat. As he and the horse pass the armored knights, the knights kneel, still holding the championships high. At the bottom of the ramp, Thad dismounts from Phobos to the floor as Scotland continues to rain the boos.
Climbing the steps, Thad pauses at the top like he always did before throwing up a middle finger to the Scots. Entering the ring, he stands in his corner, not once taking his eyes from Sean Parker.
HHL: The auto-felatio is abound here in Edinburgh!
PIP: The absent king returns to his kingdom!
Thaddeus disrobes and removes his crown, handing them off through the ropes. Parker and Thad meet face to face as the official gives some last minute direction.
SEAN PARKER
- vs -
THADDEUS DUKE 1 RP/4K - Standard Match
The referee turns to signal for the bell. Just as the bell sounds…
HHL: Oh my god!
PIP: Good night referee!
HHL: Heat seeker from the Lionheart to the referee and Parker looks dumbfounded!
At a loss, Parker looks down at the unconscious referee just long enough for Thad to hit his knees and send a nut shot to Parker. The King of the Skies doubles over before hitting his knees to the mat. On the outside, Chris Page hands a chair through the ropes to Thaddeus Duke.
With Parker on his knees nursing his groin, Thaddeus wraps the chair across his back. Parker arches and raises off the mat and Thad immediately smashes the chair down across the top of his head. Parker falls back, sprawling out upon the mat.
The crowd boos hard as Thad looks around at them and smiles. Soon, he goes back to work as he slowly dissects Sean Parker with the blunt edge of the chair, driving into every major joint. Ankles, knees, wrists, elbows.
HHL: That mean streak we remember so well has reared its head here tonight!
PIP: You gotta remember, Sean Parker mocked Thaddeus Duke’s concussion!
HHL: I do, and I know. That doesn’t make what he’s doing any more right!
PIP: You should know better than me, Heather! This is the wrestling business. What goes around comes around and Thaddeus Duke is known for payback in spades!
With Parker and the official both down and out in the early going, Thaddeus seems to inhale the hate from the Sean Parker homers, inciting a chant that causes Thad to drop to his knees and strike a messiah pose.
XWF Universe: FUCK! YOU! THAD!
On the floor, Chris Page retrieves and begins to set up a table. Back in the ring, Thaddeus reaches down and grabs himself a handful of hair, lifting Parker to his feet. He then tosses the currently fightless Parker through the ropes to the floor below.
Page lifts Parker off the floor and places him on the table, sure to hold his feet so he can’t escape. Back in the ring, Thad flies to the ropes and bounces off. On the rebound as he nears the near side, he leaps and uses the top rope like a springboard.
Parker, though, boots Page in the face and frees himself. He rolls off the table out of the way as Thaddeus crashes through the table inciting a huge pop from the crowd. Three officials run down the ramp. Two to carry out the unconscious ref and the other to replace him.
HHL: A huge miscue from the Lionheart opens the door for Sean Parker to make a comeback!
PIP: Parker is no doubt still hobbled though!
HHL: With a new official, maybe we can have an actual match rather than Thaddeus Duke flexing his anger muscle!
As the new referee begins a ten count, Sean Parker gets to his feet on the floor. Parker angrily rants at Chris Page for a moment before returning his attention to Thaddeus Duke. Lifting Thad off the floor, Parker rolls him under the ropes then follows him in but has noticeable limp. Parker immediately crawls on top of Thad.
1!
2!
HHL: The Lionheart kicks out at two!
PIP: He had to know that wasn’t gonna be enough to put him away, Heather! Thaddeus Duke has competed in House of Horrors or Lion’s Den matches, whatever he calls them now several times and those are some of the most brutal matches in the industry!
HHL: No one is doubting his toughness, Pip! Thad threw Parker off his game immediately at the bell. That pinfall attempt was just to buy some time to put a new game plan together!
Parker gets back to his feet and bounces off the ropes. Even hobbled, he’s still moving okay. On the rebound, he leaps and drives a knee into the forehead of the Lionheart. Building momentum, Parker get back to his feet and lifts Thad to his before setting him up, lifting, then planting him in the center of the ring with a brain buster suplex. Parker floats over for a cover.
1!
2!
HHL: Duke kicks out and this match will continue!
PIP: I gotta hand it to Sean Parker!
HHL: He knows Thaddeus Duke has that concussion and he’s definitely working on head impact maneuvers!
Back to his feet, Parker lifts Thad to his before sending him hard into the corner. Thad doesn’t turn and instead, runs chest first into the corner, staggers back a few steps, then collapses to the mat. Unwilling to back down, Parker lifts him again and once again tosses him hard into another corner. Thad impacts chest first again, but this time, doesn’t stagger back. He begins to fall, but uses the ropes to hold himself up before pulling himself upright with his back facing Parker.
Parker takes a second to work out some aches and pains in his legs before shooting off across the ring toward Thad. He leaps into the air with an elbow targeting the back of Thad’s skull. At the last second, Thad side steps out of the way and Parker crashes his elbow into the top turnbuckle.
Parker peels away from the corner flailing in obvious agony before hitting the mat and clutching his arm. Thaddeus meanwhile, tosses a turnbuckle pad at the referee.
PIP: That was beautiful!
HHL: Thad removed that turnbuckle covering and Parker crashed his elbow into the exposed steel!
HHL: Bravo! BRAVO! BRA-FUCKING-VO!
The official admonishes Thaddeus Duke, but he didn’t technically cheat. He didn’t physically send Parker into the exposed steel. Nevertheless, Parker is in obvious pain. Thad doesn’t let up as he grabs the injured arm. Parker resists for a time, but Thad slams him into the mat and lays on him with Sean’s injured arm hyperextended in an arm bar.
Parker cries out in obvious pain, but luckily Thad doesn’t keep the submission locked in for too long. Releasing the arm bar, Thad transitions by keeping Sean’s arm pinned to the mat. Thad kicks himself into the air before dropping his knee and his weight down into the injured elbow of Sean Parker.
Parker writhes in pain on the mat as he nurses the arm. Thad though isn’t finished dishing out the punishment as he grabs the injured arm again and turns Parker face down on his stomach. Parker resists but Thad sends a knee into Sean’s face. Thad then locks a grounded hammer lock submission with Parker’s ailing arm. Not done there, Thad lifts himself into a headstand to increase the pressure on the submission before floating over into a bridge.
HHL: The torque right now on that arm has got to make Sean Parker wish he was a lesser man!
PIP: Thaddeus Duke is a master technician, Heather! He knows that arm is injured and he’ll now remind Sean Parker that everything he does… hurts.
HHL: Parker just needs some separation to regroup and get back in this!
PIP: Duke isn’t prone to making too many mistakes, but you’re right! If Sean is gonna have a chance to win this thing, he needs separation from the Lionheart!
Thad finally releases the hold and lays on his side for just a few seconds as he runs his mouth to the King of the Skies. Duke gets to his feet and grabs Parker by his hair, pulling him to his also. A snap suplex ensues and Thad floats over and gets to his feet, bringing Parker with him. A second snap suplex and Thad floats over and gets back to his feet, bringing Parker with him again. A third snap suplex follows with both Parker and Duke sprawled out on the mat for a moment.
Duke kips up to his feet to an immediate cheer that returns to boos as Thad exits to the apron and scales the turnbuckles. Perched upon the top rope, he measures Parker, then leaps.
HHL: Savage Elbow from Duke to Parker!
PIP: Cover and a hook of the leg!
1!
2!
HHL: Parker survives here in Scotland at Fire & Ice!
On the outside, Page barks at the official as Thad looks on in disgust at the count. Duke gets back to his feet. Reaching down, he pulls Parker to his then sends him into the corner. Thad gets a head of steam behind him and leaps with a Stinger Splash, but Parker side steps at the last moment. Thad telegraphs quickly and plants his feet on the middle rope, stopping himself from crashing and burning.
Parker turns and Thad look to leap off backward with a cross body, but its a decoy. Parker hits the mat to avoid the splash that isn’t coming but quickly realizes his error and pops back to his feet. Thad leaps from the middle rope, twists in mid air and collides with the cross body on Parker. Parker crashes to the mat with Duke on top of him but uses Thad’s own momentum to roll through it and pop to his feet with Thaddeus Duke in his arms. Parker follows it up with a fallaway slam and sits on his ass for a few moments.
HHL: Sean Parker now, with the separation he so desperately needed!
PIP: Separation is one thing, Heather! Now we need to see if he can put the pedal to the floor and keep Thaddeus Duke on defense!
HHL: Easier said than done! Especially with Chris Page lurking at ringside!
Duke and Parker get back to their feet almost simultaneously. Duke swings, but Parker ducks. Thad’s own momentum spins him around and Parker grabs him then swings him up and over with a release German suplex. More out of instinct than anything else, Thad again gets to his feet along with Parker. Thad sends a kick but its blocked by Parker who grabs Thad and rips him up and over to the mat with a capture suplex.
Again, both men get to their feet. Thad swings out of desperation but Parker ducks once again and this time, traps Duke’s arms behind him before taking him to the mat with a tiger suplex. Parker completes the bridge and the referee hits the mat.
1!
2!
HHL: Duke kicks out!
PIP: These two guys are so evenly matched! Heather, I think Thaddeus should cheat harder!
After the near fall, Parker checks with the official for the count. After confirming two, Parker gets back to work. Parker retreats to the corner and scales the turnbuckles. He measures Thad as he gets to his feet. Just as Thad turns, Parler leaps high into the air and lands on Thad with a high cross body.
1!
2!
HHL: Duke kicked out again!?
PIP: I don’t know why you’re surprised, Heather! Like him or not, Thaddeus Duke is one of the most resilient sons of bitches ever to grace an XWF ring!
Disappointed by not getting the three, but not deterred, Parker gets back to his feet. With momentum firmly on his side, he exits to the apron and scales the turnbuckles again. As the official checks on Thaddeus, Chris Page hops the apron and punches out Sean Parker’s leg causing him to crotch himself into the top turnbuckle.
Page is quickly back to the floor and away from Parker’s corner before the ref turns around. Thad, knowing what happened, wills himself to his feet and lunges toward the corner and hops to the top rop before grapevining his legs around Parker’s head with an attempted Frankensteiner.
Parker hooks the top rope though and Thad is caught. Sean Parker powers Thad back up then leaps from the top sending Thad down with a thunderous powerbomb!
HHL: This will do it!
PIP: Parker is down too!
Winded, Parker is slow to roll up Duke’s legs for the pin.
1!
2!
3!??????
HHL: KICK OUT FROM DUKE!
PIP: C’mon Lionheart! This is YOUR house! Evict the son of a bitch!
Parker slowly gets back to his feet. Thad remains down and sprawled out. Parker peels him up off the mat then lifts him up.
HHL: Howl of the Sniper Wolf!
PIP: NO!
HHL: Parker hooks the leg!
After the twisting tombstone, Parker hooks the leg!
1!
2!
3!???????
HHL: Damn it!
PIP: Saved by the Chronic One!
Page put Duke’s food on the rope to break the count. The referee saw it right in front of him though and starts barking at Chris Page. CCP continues to act innocent but the official has seen enough.
The crowd pops loudly!
PIP: He’s innocent!
HHL: Chris Page has been ejected from ringside!
Page angrily hops up on the apron to plead his case with the official as a replay shows on the Tron. Seeing what actually happened, an angry Sean Parker throws a kick at Chris Page.
PIP: That was uncalled for and entirely unprovoked!
HHL: Blade of Miquella from Parker to Page and the White Whale is unconscious!
Amid the few minutes of distraction, Thaddeus Duke has recovered to his feet. While Parker runs his mouth at the knocked out Chris Page, Duke escapes to the apron on the far side and kisses the forearm ‘GRACIE’ tattoo. Flipping into the ring, he bolts across with Parker the target. Parker turns and is turned inside out with Duke’s buckshot lariat.
HHL: Greetings From Gracie!
PIP: IT’S OVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
1!
2!
3!??????????????
HHL: PARKER KICKED OUT!
PIP: WHAT!?
Thaddeus Duke is beside himself that there was no three count. Parker remains half out of it on the mat. Pissed off, Thad gets back to his feet and slowly makes his way to the corner where he scales the turnbuckles.
HHL: The Lionheart headed to the high rent district!
PIP: MOTHER OF ALL BOMBS!
HHL: KNEES UP! PARKER GOT THE KNEES UP!
Thad’s shooting star press impacted Parker’s knees up counter sending Duke reeling across the ring, writhing and in obvious pain. Parker gets to his feet slowly as Thad lays on the mat in almost a fetal position as he nurses his midsection.
Sean Parker nears Thad and lays him sprawled out. Scotland’s favorite son looks down and smirks at the Lionheart. Parker bends and reaches down…
HHL: END GAME!
PIP: He’s got it locked in good! Parker has nowhere to go!
Thad locked in his hell’s gate submission and has Parker trapped away from the refuge of a rope break. The more Parker struggles, the worse it is for him as his life is fading quickly. With one arm free, he flails frantically as he reaches for the ropes that are just way too far away.
With no other recourse, Parker tries to power Thad off the mat. He manages to get him a few inches from the mat before a knee buckles and he’s trapped all over again. The referee has no choice but to check for a submission. With no response from Parker, the ref lifts his free arm and drops it.
1!
After asking again and again receiving no response, the ref lifts and drops Parker’s arm second time.
2!
The official checks and asks. Once more there’s no response from Parker. He lifts and drops again.
3!????????
HHL: Parker still has life!
Sean Parker digs down deep and wills himself to get his feet beneath him. Still trapped in End Game, Parker lifts Thad a few inches, then drops him. Thad won’t release so Parker tries again. This time he manages to get him about a foot off the mat before planting him.
Still, Thaddeus Duke does not release the End Game. Parker tries a third time, this time powering him several feet off the mat and driving him back down.
HHL: Parker is free! The End Game has been broken!
PIP: Both men are down and Heather we’re back at square one!
HHL: Listen to this capacity crowd as they will Sean Parker to keep fighting here tonight at Fire & Ice!
Parker and Thad are to their feet at almost the same time. Thad swings with a stiff punch that jacks Parker in his jaw. Parker returns fire. Thad returns fire. Parker. Thad. Thad. Parker. Parker. Thad. Parker. Parker. Parker. Thad…
Parker ducks Thad’s final attempt.
HHL: Blade of Miquella!
After the kick, Thad staggers backward a few steps. Parker frantically scurries to catch him before he falls but its too late. Thad stumbles through the ropes and spills to the floor. Parker winces after his final lunge for Thad is missed. He knows he had certain victory just slip through his fingers.
As the official starts his ten count for Thad, Parker takes some time to regroup on his hands and knees in the ring. When the ref reaches five, Parker rolls out of the ring and the count restarts. Working slowly, he lifts Thad from the floor and ushers him to the announce table where he lays him out on top of it.
Ignoring the referee’s pleas, Parker hops to the apron and climbs the turnbuckles. He leaps…
HHL: Leap of Faith!
CRASSSHHHH
PIP: DENIED!
Thad rolls off the table when Parker is in the air. Parker crashes through the announce table. With the referee at 7, Thad wills himself to his feet and slides under the ropes to break the count before rolling back out. The official admonishes Thad only for him to audibly yell Fuck off! in his direction.
Pulling Parker out of the busted up table debris, Thad ushers him back into the ring and rolls in behind him. Exhausted, Thad gets to his feet and pulls Parker to his. Backing him up against the ropes, Thad sends him to the far side. Parker counters with a short arm…
HHL: Masamune Decapitation!
Parker goes for his ripcord elbow to the head that he used to concuss Thaddeus Duke last Monday night on Madness.
PIP: Countered!
Thad slips underneath him and breaks Parkers grip.
SMAAAACK!
HHL: Heat Seeker!
Thad’s super kick connects and Parker is flat on his back. Thad collapses with his back and shoulders against Parker’s chest.
1!
2!
3!????????????????
3!
WINNER: Thaddeus Duke
HHL: This one is over and Thaddeus Duke will pick up the victory!
PIP: This was an incredible match from bell to bell, Heather!
HHL: Sean Parker has nothing to be ashamed of, Pip! Thaddeus Duke is a legend and Parker just took him to the absolute limit!
After the bell, ‘My Name Is Human’ plays in Edinburgh and Thad rolls off of Parker for a moment, then buries his head beside Parker’s head. Thad says some things then helps Parker sit up. Thad wills both himself and Sean Parker back to their feet. Parker is still groggy and only half with it, but Thad hugs him anyway to an ovation from the Scots in attendance.
HHL: Great sportsmanship from Thaddeus Duke and Sean Parker here post-match!
PIP: Duke is a businessman first and foremost, Heather! We know Sean has great sportsmanship. The business has been conducted now. It’s over. And Thaddeus Duke is showing his appreciation for a very game opponent in San Parker!
Thaddeus Duke ducks out of the ring where he helps CCP to his feet. The former bitter enemies turned allies turned friends make their exit. Despite coming up short tonight, Sean Parker is given a moment to accept the adoration of his countrymen.
The lights dim as multiple spotlights rotate throughout the arena. As "Leaving Dionysus" begins to play, the spotlights all point to the stage, illuminating a velvet red curtain. At the moment the guitars begin to play, the curtain is drawn open, revealing the imposing figure of Dionysus, holding a Thyrsus in his right hand and a shield on his left arm. He clashes the staff against his shield to rouse the crowd to clap with him, then roars, raising the Thyrsus above his head.
You never had the right,
Removing me from paradise.
Your path removed the light,
Rendering me colour-blind.
But now I’ll speak,
Since I’ve become my own again,
And now I’ll leave,
Since I’ve become my own, again.
"Making his way to the ring, from Minneapolis MN, weighing in at 270 lbs; he is the Lord of the Vine, DIONYSUS!"
Dionysus sets the Thyrsus and shield next to the ring apron and rolls inside, running to one of the turnbuckles and climbing up to rally the crowd behind him. He then hops down and limbers up, awaiting his opponent.
HHL: "The two-time Television Champion is looking to add another belt to his resume here tonight."
PC: "Dionysus is also hoping a win here tonight will earn him a spot among the ranks of B.O.B."
HHL: "While I can't figure out WHY he'd want to join them, he'd certainly add some class to the group, that's for sure."
The fans begin to boo as "Vengeance" by Power Glove blares over the PA system. A mass of multi-colored spotlights shine around the arena, each one either a B or an O, coming together in various places to form the name BOB. The lights eventually all pan to the same spot, the stage, where they now form a giant letter D on the curtain. After another moment, B.O.B. D walks out onto the ramp with his Xtreme Championship in one hand and a steel chair in the other.
PIP: "The Xtreme Champion didn't come alone!"
HHL: "So much for class!"
PIP: "Dionysus came out with a spear!!!"
HHL: "That I'm sure he doesn't plan on using."
PIP: "And how do you know B.O.B. D doesn't just want a place to sit?"
HHL: "Because I know B.O.B."
The Xtreme Champion stops on the ramp and scans the crowd for a minute, before heading down the ramp with his eyes focused on his opponent. As he approaches ringside, B.O.B. D rolls in and heads straight for Dionysus, only to be held back by the referee. D doesn't hesitate to hand him his belt, motioning for him to ring the bell. He ignores the Champion's request, instead doing his job of holding up the belt and presenting it to the challenger. An eager Dio waves the ref away, causing him to take the Title to the time keeper and call for the bell.
A fired up D charges at his opponent with the chair, but an insistent Dionysus holds up his hands and tells him to stop.
HHL: "Wait......... what is he doing?"
A curious B.O.B. D does so, but keeps his chair at the ready to be safe. To his, and everyone else's, shock and awe, Dionysus drops to the mat as if his opponent cracked him in the skull one good. D doesn't know how to react at first but, upon seeing Dio motion for him to cover, he starts laughing.
PIP: "I'll tell you what he's doing: earning his spot in B.O.B.!"
HHL: "No! Not like this!!!"
B.O.B. D's laughs grow louder as a chorus of boos attempts to drown him out. He drops the chair and begins clapping before eventually dropping to his knees and lightly pinning his opponent.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!
PIP: "WHAT?!"
HHL: "I knew it! Dio was only messing with him!"
B.O.B. D's face turns red as he looks down at Dio, who mockingly claps for the Xtreme Champion. This sets D off, causing him to grab the chair from before and swing it at the mat. Dionysus rolls out of the way, causing the chair to smack the canvas and fly out of his opponent's hands. This gives Dio the opening to drop D with a Clothesline and pick up the dropped chair.
PIP: "Hey! That's not yourrrrrrrs!"
Dionysus waits for D to get back up and smacks him in the shoulder with the chair. He does this again, sending the Champion tumbling through the ropes out to the floor. Dio follows B.O.B. D and hits him three more times, the last one sending him diving over the barricade onto a bunch of fans in the front row. The challenger tosses the chair to the side and dips his head between D's legs, powering him up into an Electric Chair position. He then walks them over to the ring, and drops in a way that the back of the Xtreme Champion's head bounces off the apron!
PIP: "B.O.B. D's neck could be broken!"
HHL: "Dio's got the cover, D's Title reign could be broken, as well!"
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!!
HHL: "Remember, being an Xtreme Title Match, the belt can be won inside OR outside of the ring."
Dionysus brings B.O.B. D to his feet and Chokeslams him onto the apron, keeping a hand on his chest for the cover.
1!
2!!
SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "I don't think I've EVER seen someone attempt a pin on the apron!"
HHL: "Dionysus is certainly using the stipulation to his advantage."
Dio picks the chair back up and whacks D in the side, sending him rolling all the way into the ring.
PIP: "I'll say!"
Dionysus climbs back in and waits for B.O.B. D to get to his knees. Once he does, Dio charges forward with a Shining Wizard................................ but D defends with an abrupt Headbutt to the crotch, causing the challenger to collapse to the mat.
HHL: "An unconventional counter by the Champion!"
PIP: "Unconventional? More like genius!"
B.O.B. D stumbles to his feet as his opponent slowly tries doing the same. He quickly puts a halt to that with a couple Stomps to the head, as well as one to the dick for insurance.
HHL: "They don't call him Big D for nothing."
PIP: "They don't call him that AT ALL."
The former Big D rolls out of the ring and searches under the ring, eventually coming back up with a table. He begins setting it up as Dionysus rolls in his direction. Before D can finish, Dio joins him on the outside, where he turns him around and begins laying in with a Boxing Combination. As he goes to finish with a Right Hook, however, B.O.B. D ducks underneath and hits a timely German Suplex that breaks the part of the table D did get standing!
PIP: "Now THAT was unconventional!"
B.O.B. D rolls over onto his opponent for the cover.
1!
2!!
KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "That table didn't break much of Dio's fall, I'm surprised he kicked out!"
HHL: "Dionysus is a warrior in his own right, it's gonna take more than that to keep him down!"
An annoyed B.O.B. D takes a broken piece of table and begins slicing into the challengers forehead. Dio puts his hands up to fight it, but the damage has already been done as blood trickles down his face and into his beard.
PIP: "How 'bout that, Heather; is THAT going to keep Dionysus down?!"
Despite now sporting a crimson mask, Dionysus is able to rip the splinter from his opponent's hands.
HHL: "Nope!"
B.O.B. D immediately drops to his knees and begins begging Dio to show him mercy as the fans cheer him on.
HHL: "Look who's down NOW!"
PIP: "Don't do it, Dio, please! If the roles were reversed, D would do the same!"
HHL: "........................"
Dionysus takes the moment in, looking around while debating whether to do it. With the audience distracting his opponent, B.O.B. D tries to sneak in with a Low Blow, but a forward-thinking Dio closes his legs to block it.
PIP: "Oh nooooooooooo!"
HHL: "Let him have it!"
The Champion's trickery makes it an easier decision for Dionysus to jam the broken table piece into B.O.B. D's head. He jabs it over and over again, covering his opponent's face in an equal amount of blood to his own before letting him drop.
PIP: "B.O.B. D defended his Title in hell once before, and Dionysus is taking him back!"
Rather than cover D, Dionysus instead heads over to the side of the apron where his equipment rests and picks up his shield.
PIP: "What happened to NOT using that, Heather?"
HHL: "I was talking about the Thyrsus........... I never said anything about the shield!"
Dionysus brings the shield over to his opponent, who surprises him with a chairshot that smashes the shield into his own face!!!
PIP: "Dio's down!"
B.O.B. D picks up his opponent's shield and lays it over top of him, before turning and climbing up onto the apron with the chair. He then runs off the edge, diving with the chair aimed for the shield......................... which Dionysus tosses up into D's face!!!!!
HHL: "Payback's a bitch!"
A revitalized Dionysus gets to his feet and rolls B.O.B. D into the ring. He follows him in, where he stands up and waits for D to do the same. Once he does, Dio grabs him from behind and goes for a Rainmaker.
PIP: "Grapevine!"
HHL: "Big D can kiss his reign goodbye!"
B.O.B. D manages to duck the Clothesline and lift Dionysus up onto his shoulders, where he spins him around and DRILLS him into the mat!
HHL: "Dan Slam!"
PIP: "He's got his arm draped for the cover, Dio can kiss HIS reign goodbye!"
1!
2!!
THRE---KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PIP: "I don't believe it!"
HHL: "Believe it, PIP! For whatever reason, Dio wants in B.O.B. THAT bad.................... and the Xtreme Championship, of course!"
A bloody B.O.B. D wipes the combination of sweat and DNA from his face, looking up into the sky for inspiration. Something seems to click, as D rises up and drags his opponent over to the corner.
PIP: "We've seen this before, D likes to Dan Slam 'em from the top if it doesn't work the first time!"
HHL: "Dionysus has taken quite a bit of punishment already, I'm not sure he could survive another one!"
B.O.B. D begins ascending the turnbuckles, bringing Dio with him as he does so. Once at the top, the Champion tries positioning the challenger for another Dan Slam, but Dionysus starts to fight back! The fans cheer him on as his Boxing Combination begin to daze D, finally rocking him with one hard Right Hook. This allows him to lift the Xtreme Champion up and connect with a Flapjack off the top rope that sends D's blood flying everywhere as his face bounces off the mat!!!!!
HHL: "That's the biggest Flapjack I've ever seen!!!"
PIP: "I prefer pancakes."
With his opponent down, Dionysus approaches his head and locks in a Pentagram Choke Hold in the center of the ring, receiving a huge pop in the process!
HHL: "Quinque Punctum!"
PIP: "B.O.B. D better find a way out of this quick, or we're gonna have a new Champion!"
Dionysus applies pressure as the Xtreme Champion struggles to escape. He shuffles his body towards the ropes and extends his leg just enough to get his foot on the bottom one.
HHL: "No rope breaks!"
PIP: "Noooooooooo! Try something else, D!"
The ref motions for the match to continue, forcing B.O.B. D to search for another option. Despite nearly fading, the Xtreme Champion is able to get to a vertical base while his opponent maintains the hold. Fearing the end, D hoists Dionysus up above his head and charges towards one of the corners, Powerbombing him into the turnbuckles!
HHL: "He's still holding on!"
PIP: "B.O.B. D's dropped to a knee, the end could be near!"
Dionysus tightens his grip, feeling his opponent slipping away. However, before he can, D pops back to his feet, charges back into the corner, and slams Dio even HARDER into it!
PIP: "That one broke the hold!"
HHL: "Big D was moments away from passing out!"
An exhausted D drops to his knees, barely with it, allowing Dionysus the chance to run forward and connect with a Shining Wizard! He then hurries back to his feet, runs to the ropes, and performs a Lionsault........................... which B.O.B. D rolls out of the way of!
PIP: "He got the Wine, just not the Maker!"
In a last ditch effort, B.O.B. D hoists Dionysus onto his shoulders and goes to spin him. Dio manages to slip behind the Xtreme Champion, wrap his arms around him, and yank him around for a devastating Rainmaker that nearly knocks D out of his boots!!!!!
HHL: "Grapevine! Dio's got the cover, we could have a new Champion!"
1!
PIP: "Nooooooooooooo!!!"
2!!
B.O.B. D tries to kickout, but can only manage to lift a limp leg.
3!!!
Winner and NEW XWF XTREME CHAMPION - DIONYSUS
HHL: "Dio did it! He's the new Champion, and quite possibly the newest member of B.O.B.!"
PIP: "Well, they could sure go for replacing D after THAT pitiful performance!"
HHL: "You had to wonder how much longer he was gonna last without Bobby or TK to hold his hand."
The referee brings Dionysus the Xtreme Championship and raises his hand as the former Champion slowly starts to come to. B.O.B. D struggles to his feet while his foe celebrates, eventually turning around and coming face to face with him.
PIP: "Uh oh! Things are about to heat up, again!"
Dionysus tenses up, preparing to defend himself as B.O.B. D stands before him with his hands on his hips. The former Champion looks from side to side, before finally extending a hand of congratulations. Dio seems skeptical at first, but decides to shake it, with neither man playing any sort of trick on the other. With that, B.O.B. D leaves with his hands on his hips, shaking his head in disappointment at his failure.
HHL: "I don't know what the future holds for Big D, but the last few months have probably been some of the best of his career."
PIP: "As the next few certainly will be for Dio, whether with B.O.B. or not."
The X-Tron fizzles to life and Isaiah King’s face fills it to the mixed reaction of the crowd. Cheers for his viciousness are mingled with boos for his seeming merciless towards Corey Smith and crowd favourite, Raion Kido. Regardless of the reactions, Isaiah is undisturbed as he addresses the crowd.
”Ladies and Gentlemen, XWF faithful…\
It’s about damned time we did something about these “champions”.
It’s about damned time we gave you something you could actually cheer for.
It’s about damned time this business got brough to newer heights.
It’s about damned time for the Kingslayer to claim another head.
Knuck’, that hunt I warned you about is about to come to an end.
I’m about to put you up on my wall.
And the world will know - I’m the only King around. ”
SHWWWIIIIIINGGGGG
The sound of metal grinding against metal peels through the stadium, the sound of a guillotine being released, cutting cleanly into wood. As the sound of the wood hitting the ground hits the ears of the fans, the younger ones squeal in fear.
Smoke covers the stage, as all the lights focus on the top of the ramp. The silhouette of a single, small woman steps into the smoke, and her voice rings through the crowd.
Pip: Wow, we got live performances these days?
HHL: Looks like it hun, I think she calls herself… Iniko?
Pip: Probably one of his “hood” connections.
”Laaaaadies and gentlemen! This is your MAIN EVENT of the evening!
From under the stage rises a… Cracked thrown. A large axe is embedded into it’s back and seated on it is Isaiah, a broken crown on his head. In his hand is a large sword, and on his back the pelt of a lion.
“Introducing first, your chaaaaaaaallengerrrrrrr!!
He is the KIIIIINGSLAAAAAYYYEEEERRRR.
ISAAAAAIAAAAHHHH KIIIIINNGGGGG!”
He raises the sword into the sky, and grins hungrily at the crowd, before walking his way down the ramp and into the ring. Laying the sword by the ringside, he leans into the far corner of the ring, sitting down on the second turnbuckle and glares up the ramp, awaiting his opponent.
“Cash moves everything around me, dolla’ dolla’ bill ya’ll”
The iconic words of Aloe Blacc blast through the speakers, and the cameras pan back to the top of the ramp. Lights glint against the shiny, golden belt strapped around our champion's waist as he walks into the light. His eyes glance through the crowd, looking through the people rather than actually look at them. TK was here to fight, not pander to these losers. Get his paycheck and bounce, after teaching Isaiah a lesson or two.
”INTRODUCING YOUR Xtreme Wrestling FEEEEDERATION
UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!
This. IS. THUNDER KNUUUUUUUUUUUUCKLES!”
He wastes no time making his way down the ring, and you almost expect his entourage to follow him, before realizing they’ve both been in brutal, costly matches of their own. Today, TK walks alone to face his new opponent.
He slides through the button rope and walks towards Isaiah, before turning away from him and raising his title up in the center of the ring. The crowd bursts in a wave of boos for the now fallen villain. He responds to the boos with a smirk, practically chucking his title at the severely underpaid referee.
The ref checks them both for any disallowed weapons, satisfied… While eyeing the sword at the edge of the ring… The referee calls for the bell.
TK: Let’s get this over with, I’ve got a 11pm appointment with Destinee.
Isaiah charges forward, dips under a swinging right hand by TK and spears the champion square in the gut, sending the two sprawling to the mat with a quick double-leg takedown. The champ brings his knees up with suprising speed, pushing Isaiah off from taking top-mount but not fast enough to block a series of quick lefts and rights from above, onto his chin.
The champions head rocks to either side and his vision is covered in stars as his body tenses under the furious barrage.
HHL: Isaiah’s PILING onto the Champ, TK ain’t gonna let this go on forever!!
PIP: He certainly ain’t, look at him now!
TK extends two fingers out and jams them into Isaiah’s eyes furiously, causing the smaller man to give up his dominant position and roll onto the mat clutching at this vision-givers. TK, furious that he’s had to take a few punches, stumbles back onto his feet and catches his breath. He keeps his eyes glued to Isaiah, and seems to be setting up….
HHL: IS HE GOING TO PUNT HIM?
As Heather ends her sentence with a dramatic question, TK goes to answer, charging down Isaiah just as he gets on all fours. As his leg lifts off the mat and he’s about to land a vicious kick in the first few minutes of the match…
The LIGHTS GO OUT!
Pip: HOLD ME HEATHER I’M SCARED!
The lights come on just seconds later, but the ring looks completely different. TK is gripping onto the ring ropes for stability, looking desperately around him for a surprise attack that never comes.
Isaiah is no longer where he just was, now instead propped up against the turnbuckle, arms wrapped around the ring ropes to hold him up. He looks just as confused as his opponent.
HHL: What’s going on here?
Pip: That thieving, scheming King is back at it again with his cheats!
HHL: He looks just as confused as we are, hun.
Isaiah shakes his head, blinking rapidly before walking back to the centre of the ring, arms tight to his face in a classic Tyson-esque stance. TK, furious that he’s missed his chance to end this match early, comes stomping down towards him, arms outstretched like the Swamp Thing.
TK: You ain’t getting away, boy!
Isaiah King: Didn’t plan on it.
The Kingslayer dips under TK’s arms, swerving and rolling under TK’s fast hands, before slamming a body hook right into TK’s solar plexus. The big man keels over just a little, before a rear uppercut comes swinging up and striking him on the CH-No!
TK catches the hand, tapping it just a little so it misses on it’s trajectory. He slams both palms against Isaiah’s face, wrapping it in a vice grip before squeezing. The big man practically lifts Isaiah up into a standing position using his face alone. TK slams a stiff knee right into Isaiah’s body before shoving him towards the ropes.
Isaiah charges against the ropes, bounces back, and is picked up into a massive SIDEWALK SLAM.
The ring reverbrates with the impact, the crowd slips into a hush.
Pip: This is our UNIVERSAL CHAMPION!
TK rolls back onto his feet and throws his middle fingers in the air, drinking in the silence of the crowd. Isaiah gasps for air of his own, clutching at his lower back as he pulls himself against the ropes.
He spits out a thick wad of blood at TK’s feet.
Isaiah King: That’ll all you got, bitch boy?
Isaiah wipes his mouth with his taped out hands, smearing blood on the white wraps. He brings his hands back up around his face and bounces on his toes excitedly. Parts of the crowd explode with cheers.
TK flips them off now before beckoning Isaiah to him.
Isaiah drops real low and charges forward, knees almost touching the mat as he drops to almost half the height of TK. Knuckles doesn’t expect the sudden level change and steps back to prepare himself. Isaiah drops quickly to the mat and goes for a chop block… FROM THE FRONT.
HHL: Neither man is trying to put on a wrestling match it seems… THis is a little ugly.
He slams his shoulder into TK’s knee from the front, locking it with a crack. TK curses loudly into the air, before stumbling and falling onto his butt. Isaiah immediately is back to his feet and drops TK onto his back with a beautifully low dropkick.
TK’s head slams into the mat behind him, but bounces back up into a seated position.
Isaiah is already on his feet, bouncing off the ropes against, but from behind TK.
Pip: Watch out champ!
Isaiah lifts off his feet and brings his knee up to slam TK with a picture-perfect SHINING WIZARD-
The lights cut off!
Pip: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, CAN WE GET AN ELECTRICIAN IN THE BUILDIN’
As the lights return, Isaiah’s seated comfortably on the turnbuckle again, expecting it a bit more this time. TK however is pulled away from his position, positioned in the opposite turnbuckle to Isaiah.
HHL: The last time the lights went out it was Isaiah that was in danger, this time it was TK, what IS going on?
Isaiah inhales deeply and rushes TK once more, but this time, TK’s had time to recover and he rectifies himself, bracing for impact. Isaiah stops the charge, and pulls up his guard once more, getting ready to trade blows with the champion.
Isaiah King: I’m going to make you suffer. Like ALL the people you’ve made suffer to seem relevant. All the people you’ve made suffer, who’ve had to call you their champion.
TK: Shut the fuck up and just fight, times ticking.
Isaiah throws a stiff right hand, that TK blocks with his left. TK throws a right in return, that Isaiah swerves under. Isaiah sends a body hook out of his swerve, that TK blocks with his elbow before trying to hit Isaiah with his free hand.
Isaiah slips the hand, and lands a massive UPPPERCUT that rocks TK’s head back into the air. Isaiah swivels around, and wraps his left arm around TK’s head and leaps into the air.
HHL: TWISTING NECKBREAKER ON THE CHAMP!
TK’s chin slams into Isaiah’s body and the big man’s body slumps limp into the mat. Isaiah backs himself desperately into the ropes and has his eyes glued to his opponent. He hungirly beckons the big man to get to his feet.
TK stirs.
TK pushes himself up onto a knee.
TK is about to get onto his feet.
Isaiah turns his back to his opponent, leaps onto the second rope and twists violently in the air.
Pip: He’s going for the SPRINGBOARD DISCUS ELBOW!
TK’s eyes widen, he tries to slip the move, the LIGHTS FLICKER!
TK’s eyes shift away from Isaiah to a flashing light from somewhere in the audience, just for a split second….
The CROWD ERUPTS INTO A CHEER.
Pip: CLEARLY THESE INGRATE HATE OUR CHAMPION.
HHL: Well, there’s kind of a lot to hate, remember the city burning?
Pip: You’re defending COREY’S commune now???
HHL: The child killing?
Pip: THE RIGHT TO DEFENCE
TK’s skull meets Isaiah’s elbow, and the champion rocks against the mat.
Isaiah goes roll back to his feet…
Pip: He’s ready to end it all right now!
HHL: TK seems really distracted, is the challenger going to take advantage??
As Isaiah goes up, thick fingers wrap around his ankle. He tries to pull his leg out of TK’s grip, but the large man holds on firmly.
Isaiah glances down at his enemies aghast, AMAZED that this man is still conscious after that PERFECT Crown Shatterer.
The camera zooms into TK’s face, who seems almost tranced out. His lips mumble…
TK: M-may the Bastardly Father….
TK yanks suddenly at Isaiahs leg, the much stronger man catching Isaiah off guard and slamming him into the mat. TK, still in a trance, rolls onto his legs and saysa prayer under his breath.
TK: May he reign.
Looking up at the sky, a smile creeps onto the champions face.
HHL: Against all odds! TK has the challenger against the ropes!!!
A scream emanates from Isaiah;s lips, filling the stadium. The scream evolves into a snarl, into a roar.
Isaiah doesn’t let the pain stop him, rolling into the iron grip of the champion, Isaiah rains fists down into TK’s face. The champion has his eyes rolled back, only the whites visible as he keeps Isaiah in the iron grip. Isaiah slams him with fists, his snarls getting more vicious with each strike.
The lights flicker once more.
A few BRIGHT flashes of light come through from the crowd, and the referee moves to the side of the ring to figure out what’s going on.
Pip: CHAOS IN THE RING!
The lights flicker one more.
A wrench, a bloody… Rusty wrench shows up beside Isaiah.
TK refuses to let go of the Kingslayer’s knee.
Isaiah’s hand wraps around the metal of the wrench, his eyes glued on the tranced out TK.
Lifting the wrench up into the air, Isaiah inhales deeply.
The lights flicker once more.
Isaiah drops the wrench, slamming an elbow into the bridge of TK’s nose, bone crunching against bone and blood spewing out of the champions face.
HHL: Something is wrong with the champ!
Blood starts pouring out of TK’s face, slipping into his mouth and making him gurgle on his own life blood.
His arms ease off Isaiah’s knee. The feral, vicious challenger, grabs TK by the collar, and pulls the champion to his feet.
TK sways, blood still profusely spilling out from his face. The wrench lies by his feet.
Isaiah shoves TK’s body towards the ropes, and runs himself against the opposite ropes. As their bodies bounce against the ropes…
The lights flicker once more. The referee is back looking at the two men.
Isaiah lips into the air, lets out an extreme scream… His arms come out to wrap around TK’s, his legs swinging up to cover the champion…
TK’s head slams into the mat with a sickening thud… It slams into the lying wrench, splitting his forehead open and pouring more blood into the ring.
Isaiah refuses to let go, both their bodies covering the wrench as he pulls against TK’s neck.
Isaiah KING: YO REF, check if he’s conscious, CHECK!”
The ref picks up TK’s hand.
It drops.
He picks it up again.
It drops.
Pip: This CHEATING LITTLE…
HHL: I’m not sure it was intentional… Where did that wrench even come from?
He picks it up again.
…
…
…
…
The CROWD GOES WILD.
THE HAND DROPS.
THE BELL RINGS.
THUNDER KNUCKLES SLUMPS INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS.
“THE KING’S AFFIRMATION” RINGS THROUGH THE CROWD.
Isaiah slumps onto his back, TK still lying ontop of him. Confetti comes calling from the ceiling of the stadium, onto the crowd and the wrestlers.
Isaiah stares into the lights…
Light’s that flicker.
Pip: Something is going on here… Something that’s FUCKED with our Champion.
HHL: A loss is… A loss?
Pip: This is NOT the way Champions are made!
HHL: Not that any effort was spared on Isaiah’s front. Look at him!
Isaiah grips at his knee, and struggles to his feet, his friends - a group once known as The King’s Court stands by the top of the ring. Chaeryoung, Ezekiel and a young Elijah Hussein. They clap for who is… The New Universal Champion!
Winner and NEW UNIVERSAL CHAMPION - ISAIAH KING!!!!!!
Isaiah stumbles onto his feet, a belt is thrust into his arm… His right arm is raised…
But his eyes are busy scanning the ground, trying to figure what the hell is going on… And what he’s doing holding the top belt of the XWF in his hands.
Isaiah King: What the fuck is going on…
HHL: I honestly don't believe it. Isaiah King is the new Universal Champion of the XWF. I thought for sure there was no way TK was going to let King walk out of Fire and Ice with the title and yet here we are.
Pip: Well that's because King cheated. I want to see a replay. How did that wrench get there? Who placed it in the right in that perfect spot. Something foul is a foot here. I can smell it.
HHL: That could be you Pip. You are getting a little ripe. Anyway Pip that's all we have for Fire and Ice and what a Pay Per View it was. Five title matches and FIVE new Champions. A first in XWF history. Before we log off let's take a look at the Fire and Ice House Strandings...
House Gold - 3 Points w/ wins by Ned Kaye, Cram and Centurion
House Principle - 3 points w/ wins by Dionysus, Bobby Bourbon, Isaiah King
House Big - 2 points w/wins by Mark Flynn, Thaddues Duke
House Sterling - 0 points
HHL: And with that House Gold and House Principle finished tied at top the standings for Fire and Ice. Does that mean they split the prize or what? Find out in two weeks on Weekend Warfare!!
Thank you to the following match writers:
Jett Sterling
Sean Parker
Peter Principle
Bobby Bourbon
Thaddeus Duke
BOB D
Isaiah King
And of course to all you wonderful rper's out there.
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