10 - 28 - 2023 LIVE FROM EASTERN STATE PENITENTIARY PHILADELPHIA, PENNYSLVANIA OPTIONAL: Everyone has the option to post an additional RP with a word limit of 1K for minor bonus points in judging. This RP must be Halloween-themed or spooky/scary in some way. If you choose to post an additional RP please make it known in the sub-title of your RP so judges know. CJ WALKER - vs - TOMMY GUNN Ouija Board Brawl Set in one of the penitentiary's infamous solitary confinement cells, this no-holds-barred match begins with the official invoking the prison spirit of Dr. Morris Bolder using a Ouija board. Throughout the match, the ghostly presence can intervene, haunting and possessing the wrestlers to shift the balance of power. Win by pinfall or submission Warfare Rules SLADE DURANT - vs - DIONYUS - vs - DOLLY WATERS Prison Riot Match The match begins inside of the holding cell area with weapons to use Five minutes after the match starts, the penitentiary will become haunted, and all sorts of spooky spirits will come in to invade the match Win by pinfall or submission Warfare Rules DOCTOR LOUIS D'VILLE - vs - DICK POWERS Bloody Malpractice Match The match takes place in the abandoned medical ward Competitors must navigate through and use the medical equipment to their advantage to defeat their opponent Win by pinfall or submission Warfare Rules CHARLIE NICKLES - vs - BOBBY BOURBON Trick-or-Treater Horror Theater Match The match starts with both competitors in a giant pit surrounded by doors, and the competitors can open the doors to get a trick or treat First to get a Fun-Sized Snickers bar wins Loser has to wear a dress for a month Warfare Rules BULK LOGAN© - vs - YA'LL KNOW WHO Death Row Rumble From the holding cell to the electric chair. That's right, brother, the only way to win is to strap your opponent in that chair and give him a shocker of an ending! No pinfalls, no submissions, just pure electrifying action, brother! Television Championship Rules THUNDER KNUCKLES © - vs - EDWARD Escape from Hell Match The competitors must escape from the prison in one piece They will be hunted by undead guards chasing them throughout the match First one to escape from the Penitentiary wins the Universal Championship Champ's Choice

CJ WALKER - vs - TOMMY GUNN Ouija Board Brawl Set in one of the penitentiary's infamous solitary confinement cells, this no-holds-barred match begins with the official invoking the prison spirit of Dr. Morris Bolder using a Ouija board. Throughout the match, the ghostly presence can intervene, haunting and possessing the wrestlers to shift the balance of power. Win by pinfall or submission

The referee carefully sets up the Ouija board in the center of the room.

HHL: “Here we go! The Ouija Board Brawl, and let’s remind the viewers, the spirit of Dr. Morris Bolber (not Bolder, sorry folks!) will be invoked and can intervene in this match.”

PIP: “This might be one of the spookiest setups I've ever seen, Heather. A battle between two hard-hitting competitors and the unpredictable spirit of the deceased killer and overall bad man, Dr. Morris Bolber!”.

The official places his hands on the Ouija board, invoking the spirit of Morris "The Rabbi" Bolber. As the planchette moves on its own to spell out "LET'S BRAWL," the bell rings.

PIP: “It's showtime! And by the looks of it, our ghostly guest has arrived.”

Both CJ and Tommy eye each other cautiously, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

Tommy, finding an opening, lunges forward with a swift and sharp uppercut aimed at CJ's chin.

However, CJ, with his heightened reflexes, sidesteps the blow and, using Tommy's momentum against him, locks in a waist-hold before executing a German suplex.

Both men scramble to their feet, a series of fists, elbows, and chops echoing through the confined space.

It's a fierce exchange of blows, neither man giving an inch.

Just as it appears Tommy is gaining the upper hand, an eerie cold washes over the cell.

As the two wrestlers are momentarily distracted by the change in atmosphere, the kendo stick Tommy brought with him begins to levitate off the ground. Both men watch, wide-eyed, as the stick floats in mid-air.

PIP: “That’s downright spooky!”

Before anyone can react, the kendo stick swings with a force of its own, smacking Tommy right in the rear. Tommy yelps, more from surprise than pain, and leaps into the air, rubbing his behind.

CJ tries to capitalize on the distraction with a West Memphis 3 combo, but mid-move, his boots get untied mysteriously, causing him to trip. Both wrestlers, looking confused, try to maintain their composure.

HHL: “Did... did the ghost just use Tommy's kendo stick against him?!”

Tommy, still rubbing his behind, charges at CJ, attempting a Disjointed Arms. But as he launches his attack, a sudden gust of wind blows through the cell, knocking him off balance and straight into CJ's awaiting arms.

CJ lifts Tommy and attempts the Apocalypse Now, but as he's about to drive Tommy to the mat, both their feet are mysteriously yanked from beneath them. They crash to the ground, with the Ouija board sliding in eerily close.

HHL: “This is insane! The ghost is trying to play puppetmaster with our competitors. It's a three way match with a spirit!”

Regaining their bearings, both wrestlers warily approach the Ouija board. They decide, in a mutual moment of understanding, to attempt communication with Dr. Bolber. Both wrestlers place their hands on the planchette.

PIP: “Are they... trying to strike a deal with the ghost? This is certainly a first for me, Heather!”

As the planchette moves, it spells out: "DANCE" The room suddenly fills with an eerie, ghostly music.



HHL: “Dance?”

As the haunting strains of the eerie waltz fill the cell, both CJ and Tommy stand frozen, their eyes wide in disbelief. It becomes clear they're not in control of their own bodies as they they begin to dance. Their feet start to glide gracefully across the ground, taking the first steps of the waltz.

Tommy finds himself twirling and spinning with the grace of a seasoned ballroom dancer, his arms raised high. He even produces a rose from nowhere, clenching it between his teeth

PIP: “Tommy's got some moves! Who knew?!”

The kendo stick, joining in on the action, starts floating again, swirling around the two dancers.



The music's tempo shifts, and the kendo stick floats horizontally, hovering menacingly just a few feet above the ground.

HHL: “Oh boy, looks like we’re about to have a spirited game of limbo!”

CJ leans back with impresive flexibility and glides under the kendo stick, narrowly avoiding it. Tommy follows suit, but brushes against the stick as he limbos under.

The kendo stick rises higher into the air and then, without warning, it starts flying at the wrestlers at blinding speed, whooping them multiple times.

PIP: “Ouch! That's gotta hurt! That stick is relentless!”

Each strike from the kendo stick seems more aggressive than the last. CJ and Tommy now find themselves teaming up, dodging and weaving in sync, trying to avoid the ghostly assaults of the wooden weapon.

As they dodge the kendo stick, the lights in the cell begin to flicker and the temperature drops to a bone-chilling cold. The Ouija board starts to glow an eerie green and levitates off the ground.

Suddenly, the walls of the cell begin to close in, inching toward the center of the room with a loud grinding noise.

HHL: “What in the world... the room is shrinking!”

PIP: “This is straight out of a nightmare!”

As the walls continue to close in, shadowy figures begin to manifest. They're humanoid in shape but possess no distinguishing features. They reach out, trying to grasp the wrestlers, who fight to keep them at bay.

Tommy, in a desperate attempt to end the horror, lunges at the levitating Ouija board and slams it to the ground, shattering it into pieces, but the onslaught doesn't stop. The walls are still moving, the temperature is still dropping, and the shadowy figures continue their efforts to seize the competitors.

Just when all hope seems lost, the unmistakable sound of a Proton Pack whirring to life pierces the room.. A bright beam of light illuminates the chamber as the door is kicked open, revealing Steve Sayors dressed head to toe as a Ghostbuster (*He did this on ANARCHY OF THE DAMNED as well!)

HHL: “Is that... Steve Sayors?!”

PIP: “I don’t believe it! He's got a Proton Pack and everything!”

Steve flips down his ecto-goggles and targets the ghostly figures, letting loose with a stream of proton energy. With expert precision, he wrangles the shadowy spirits, pulling them away from the wrestlers.

Tommy and CJ, exhausted and dazed, can only look on in amazement as Steve battles the supernatural forces, looking every bit part of a seasoned ghost hunter.

HHL: “Steve's taking control! Look at him go!”

With a determined glare, Steve reaches for his utility belt and pulls out a ghost trap. He places it on the ground, and with a confident stomp, activates it. A brilliant cone of light shoots upwards, pulling the shadow figures inside.

CJ and Tommy both still disoriented from the supernatural chaos, unknowingly stumble towards the trap.

They're pulled in, and the trap snaps shut with a satisfying click, leaving the room in sudden silence.

PIP: “Did Steve just... trap both wrestlers inside?!”

HHL: “Looks like it! I guess that's one way to put an end to this Ouija Board Brawl.”

Steve, panting and sweaty, gives a triumphant thumbs up to the camera, his Proton Pack humming down as he powers it off.

PIP: “Unbelievable! This has got to be one of the most unexpected endings in wrestling history!”

Steve Sayors, looking worried, picks up the ghost trap containing both CJ, Tommy, and the spirits and rushes out of the chamber.

HHL: “Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a wild night. This match is officially a no-contest. Thanks to Ghostbuster Steve!”

---

SLADE DURANT - vs - DIONYUS - vs - DOLLY WATERS Prison Riot Match The match begins inside of the holding cell area with weapons to use Five minutes after the match starts, the penitentiary will become haunted, and all sorts of spooky spirits will come in to invade the match Win by pinfall or submission

Inside the holding cell, weapons are scattered across the area. Chains, bats, kendo sticks, etc.

Dionysus, Slade, and Dolly circle each other, trading verbal jabs before the physical ones begin.

PIP: "There's enough tension in that cell to power the entire city!"

HHL: "Indeed, Pip. This is a powder keg waiting to explode!"

Dolly lands the first blow, taking a swing at Slade.

Dionysus uses this moment of distraction to grab a chain, trying to catch Dolly from behind.

Slade, using his cunning, grabs a kendo stick and deflects the chain, hitting Dionysus square in his shoulder.

HHL: "Slade's going for that old shoulder injury!"

PIP: "That's strategy, Heather! It's all about finding that weak link."

Slade, seizing his momentum, attempts to corner Dionysus against the cell bars, delivering rapid strikes with the kendo stick.

Dionysus, however, manages to duck under one such swing, momentarily disarming Slade and connecting with a swift punch to Slade's midsection.

Dolly, observing and calculating her next move, leaps onto the cell bars, using them as leverage to deliver a missile dropkick to both men, knocking them to the ground.

As the three continue to battle, the five-minute mark looms. Suddenly, the atmosphere changes. The cell grows cold, and an eerie fog starts to seep through the bars. Ghostly apparitions manifest, causing even the seasoned fighters to pause momentarily.

PIP: "Well, looks like the 'guests' have arrived."

HHL: "This just turned from brutal to downright terrifying."

Among the spirits, a phantom prisoner wielding a chain catches Dolly's attention, while a ghostly guard with a baton seems to focus on Dionysus. Slade, however, is cornered by multiple spirits, throwing him off his game.

The guard nods to Dionysus and grabs Slade, allowing Dionysus to land his signature "Wine Mixer". As Slade is dazed, Dionysus then focuses on Dolly, who's trying to fend off the apparitions with quick wild strikes. Dionysus surprises her with the "Grapevine," pinning her.

However, before the referee can count, the spirits interfere, lifting Dionysus off Dolly and into the air, only to throw him into the cell bars.

Dolly, seizing the opportunity, attempts to pin Dionysus, but Slade interrupts, using the kendo stick to fend off both opponents. As the spirits continue their onslaught, Dionysus manages to find his footing, grabbing a riot shield from the corner and using it to shield bash Slade.

Dionysus swiftly takes Slade down and locks in the "Quinque Punctum." Slade's eyes widen as he tries desperately to reach the ropes or find a way to break free. The tight chokehold and Slade's fading consciousness make it look as if Dionysus has this match in the bag.

Just then a spirit jumpscares Dionysuys, giving him quite a fright and causing him to inadvertently break the hold.

HHL: "That ghost might've just saved Slade!"

Shaking off the shock, Dionysus quickly regroups. He sizes Slade up, waiting for the opportune moment, and then swiftly connects with the "Deified," taking Slade down.

As Dionysus goes for the pin, Dolly tries to take advantage of the situation by surprising Dionysus with a roll-up pin.





ONE!




























TWO!!




























TH—Dionysus barely manages to kick out!

They both scramble to their feet, but before Dolly can react, he catches her with another "Deified”, leaving her motionless on the mat!

The ghostly guard stands between Dionysus and the other spirits, daring them to advance.

Seeing his chance to finish this once and for all, Dionysus manages to pin both Slade and Dolly at the same time.

The referee counts!






















ONE!






































TWO!!













































THREE!!!

WINNER VIA PINFALL—DIONYSUS!!!

HHL: "Dionysus did it! He emerged victorious in one of the most chaotic and supernatural matches I've ever witnessed!"

PIP: "That was one for the ages, Heather. What a match!"

Dionysus, breathing heavily but triumphant, stands tall amidst the fog and spirits, having proven himself yet again in the XWF.

---

DOCTOR LOUIS D'VILLE - vs - DICK POWERS Bloody Malpractice Match The match takes place in the abandoned medical ward Competitors must navigate through and use the medical equipment to their advantage to defeat their opponent Win by pinfall or submission

We cut to the grimly lit abandoned medical ward. 

Medical tools and apparatuses, rusted and covered with years of dust and grime, lay scattered about and the faded walls tell tales of the pain and despair that once occurred within.

HHL: "We're here in this chilling medical ward for what promises to be a brutal bout. And look at all this creepy old medical equipment!"

PIP: "That's right, Heather. Doctor Louis D'Ville and Dick Powers will have to navigate this treacherous terrain, using everything at their disposal to achieve victory."

Suddenly, "House of 1000 Corpses" by Rob Zombie fills the room as it plunges into darkness, and the red fog rolls in. Rising amidst the fog is the menacing figure of Doctor Louis D'Ville, his pearl-white suit and his toothy grin contrasting the eerie surroundings. Taking a deep breath of the mist, he walks slowly into the medical ward.

HHL: "There's the Doc! A chilling sight, especially in this setting."

PIP: "He looks right at home here."

Suddenly, the atmosphere lightens a bit as "I Invented Sex" by Trey Songz plays. Out comes Dick Powers, flaunting and reveling in the music, dancing his way through the ward.

PIP: "Say what you want about Powers, but the man knows how to keep the mood light."

HHL: "But will that be enough against Doctor D'Ville in this match?"

As the bell rings, Doctor D'Ville, despite his age, showcases his strength, easily grappling with Powers. With surprising speed, Doc employs a combination of brawler/scrapper moves, landing punches, kicks, and even a biting move that leaves a mark on Powers behind.

As the match heats up, Powers starts to gather momentum. He leaps onto an old surgical table, launching himself into the air, attempting a missile dropkick, but D'Ville, displaying his cunning, sidesteps just in the nick of time, causing Powers to crash into a stack of discarded wheelchairs.

Powers springs to his feet and attempts another high risk move off a nearby stand. But D'Ville, gives the stand a shove leading to Powers landing awkwardly, wincing in pain.

PIP: "D'Ville's not just a brawler; he's a strategist, always thinking three steps ahead."

HHL: "And in a setting like this, it's proving to be a massive advantage."

D'Ville grabs an old, rusted scalpel from a nearby tray and lunges at Powers, but Dick rolls out of the way, narrowly avoiding the blow.

Powers quickly tries to recover. He grabs a discarded crutch from the ground, swinging it hard towards D'Ville.

The doctor uses an old x-ray board as a makeshift shield, blocking Powers' strikes.

The two engage in a fierce weapon-clashing battle, reminiscent of old swordfights, only with medical tools.

D'Ville, however, feints a move to the left, causing Powers to overcommit and D'Ville swiftly kicks the crutch out of Powers' hands and rocks him with a Leaping Clothesline! D'Ville then drags Powers by his tights, hoisting him up and slamming him onto an old metal gurney with a loud clang. The sound echoes throughout the medical ward, but D'Ville isn’t done.

He notices an old, rusted stethoscope hanging from a hook. Wrapping it around Powers neck, he begins to choke him, pulling tighter and tighter. Dick's face turns a shade of red, his hands desperately clawing at the makeshift noose.

HHL: "This is brutal! D'Ville's taking full advantage of the environment."

PIP: "Well, he IS a doctor, but the stethoscope was meant to hear the heartbeat, not stop it!"

With Powers gasping for air, D'Ville releases the grip, letting him slump to the floor. The Doctor stands over his opponent with a look of satisfaction, displaying once again why he is one of the most dangerous competitors in the XWF.

Spotting an old electric shock machine, D'Ville decides to give Powers a little "therapy."

He ties Powers to the machine and turns it on, causing Powers to convulse. However, before any serious damage is done, the power blacks out.

D'Ville then hits the 'Trepanation', diving from the top of an old medical cabinet, headbutting Powers. The impact looks devastating. Without wasting any time, D'Ville follows up with the 'Lobotomy,' and it connects perfectly.

HHL: "That's it. It's over!"

Going for the pin, the referee counts.



ONE!






















TWO!!

























THREE!!!

WINNER VIA PINFALL—'DOCTOR' LOUIS D'VILLE!!!

PIP: "An resounding victory for Doctor D'Ville. But you've got to give it to Powers. He did put up a fight."

HHL: "True, but in such a terrifying setting, it was always going to be an uphill battle Dick Powers."

---

Your television screen fades into TK, who is in the exclusive locker room designated for BOB at every XWF event. With unwavering concentration, he readies himself for the Main Event. A sudden knock disrupts his preparations, echoing through the room.


Who the fuck is it?


There’s no response other than another knock.


TK: Oh, fuck off!


He approaches the door slowly, then swiftly swings it open. The camera initially withholds the identity of the knocker.


I made a meeting with Jimmy. I wanted to talk about-

Fucking Jimmy, what the Hell was the meeting about?


The camera pans around TK’s shoulder to reveal none other than Dionysus!


I was looking to join.


Due to the camera angle, TK's eye roll in response to Dionysus is visible, but only to Dionysus.



Well, come on in.


TK strolls towards the jacuzzi in the private locker room, allowing Dio to commence his pitch, as they all have had their chance to present their ideas.


So I’ve been doing my thing here for almost a year now. And I’m looking at broadening my horizons. I’ve seen what you guys can do too, and I think I can add some real value to what you all-

Wait. Aren’t you like a good fucking person? You do know we’re not exactly the nicest goddamn people around. I think you’d be better off hanging out with like Ned Kaye or… Yeah, anyone else, not us. Ya, feel me?


TK removes his shirt, causing a collective swoon from female viewers at home as his mullet cascades from beneath the neckline of his t-shirt.


I would… If Ned or any of them wanted anything to do with me.


TK pivots, exposing his bare ass to Dio, and in one swift motion, drops his trousers before stepping into the jacuzzi. The initial surprise of TK disrobing momentarily caught Dio off guard, but he had encountered far more peculiar encounters than this one. Dionysus managed to regain his composure rather swiftly.


See, that’s the difference between them and…well, you guys. You don’t give a shit where someone stands with you, so long as it isn’t “in our way.” There is a solid benefit in bringing on fresh blood, as well. Revamps the image a bit, y’know?


Bobby walks into the chat that TK and Dio are having. Bobby glances at Dio, furrows his brow, then immediately turns back to TK.


Bro, you missed it. I made flying monkeys in my cloning facility, it was awesome, I spliced all the DNA just right. Not only did they fly, they were in fact monkeys, and I even got them to have that smokey taste that I like. Well, they’re all gone now, because damn, a nice smokey flying monkey is hard to resist, and it’s perfectly keto friendly. I can smell my stock going up by a whole cent, maybe even two! Plus, I did that thing with D, we shook down a bus full of nuns and, no, they did NOT have the Holy Grail, which I feel we could hauk on eBay for a pretty penny to some religious nut. Pretty sure the Vatican has it locked up, but getting in and out of that place is tricky. They have clerics, bro, and if you’ve EVER played D and D like a nerd, you’d know they’re just as dangerous as a wizard.


Bobby shifts his gaze from Dio to TK and then back again.


What the fuck is he doing here anyway? He’s the asshole who tried to chokeslam me.

Calm down, he came here to talk about recruitment. You and Charlie have been busy bitching about sour milk, or some shit. So, I took the meeting.


Bobby whispers,  but still loud enough to ensure that Dio can hear.


This guy's like Centurion if he were mildly more interesting.


A smug grin forms on TK's face.


Heh, not looking good, Dio. Just tell Bobby what you just told me and we’ll go from there.

…O…kay? So I’ve been doing my thing here for almost a year now. I’ve seen what you guys can do too, and I think I can add some real value to what you all-


Bobby brazenly faces away from Dio, shedding his singlet and stepping into another of the five jacuzzis, his bare ass on full display. Dionysus is now growing increasingly irritated. The audacity of the situation continued to surprise him, though it is rapidly becoming a habit.


What, uhh…you all do here. You could use someone like me to-


BOB D makes an entrance into the conversation among TK, Dio, and Bobby. He casts a brief, perplexed look at Dio before refocusing his attention on Bobby and TK.



What is HE doing here? He just tried to pin ME for the Xtreme Championship!


Taking a deep breath, TK shakes his head, aware that Charlie has recently attempted to pin BOB D. Bobby stifles a chuckle, realizing that he has just repeated the same action as BOB D.


Calm down, he came here to talk about recruitment, and me and Charlie have been busy bitching about sour milk. I throw it out, Charlie bathes in it. So, TK took the meeting, duh.

Maybe I should come back another time.

Look, I’m not going to go through this each fucking time. No. We do this today goddamn it. Make your pitch, shit.

Wait. Are you guys both naked in those jacuzzis?


In unison, Them No Good Bastards answer.


Yeah.


Jesus, jumped on, Christ, Will you let the man finish?


Dionysus audibly cleared his throat, the act serving less as a necessity and more as a means to convey his irritation with the persistent interruptions.


So. I’ve been doing my thing here for almost a year now. I’ve seen what you guys can do too, and I think I can add some real value to what you all-


TK holds up his hand and waits for Charlie to burst through the door to see Dio in BOB’s private locker room. Dio starts to talk again but TK holds out his hand again hushing Dio.


Alright, now you can finish.

*sigh* Look, I’m not gonna mince words. I’m a solid talent who has more than proven himself already in XWF. You guys are one of the top groups here, but that milk you guys were arguing about has changed more than this group has. You guys need a fresh face for BOB. I can be that fresh face. You get a decorated champion, I get some more recognition to my name. It’s a win-win.


BOB D looks at Bobby, who then shifts his attention to TK, and TK, in turn, looks at BOB D. A nod from BOB D is mirrored by Bobby. They all agree.


You know, nothing in life is free, goddamn it. You are aware that you’ll be called on to do things you wouldn’t normally fucking do right?

Well I DID compete in Action Wrestling. So long as it’s not drinking piss, I think I can handle it.

Well, as for right now, you’re a prospect. You show us you really want in-


Dio begins to say something, only to be once more interrupted by TK.


You’ll know what to do when the time comes. Show us you want in and we’ll regroup and talk it over.


Dio nods in agreement.


Alright, if we’re done here. I’m going to relax a little bit before I have to go run through this prison and fuck up Edward.


The only noise that filled the air is the hum of the jacuzzi jets.


…Soooo…I guess you want me to hop into the tub with you guys then? Or…


Dionysus begins to loosen his tie, he too is going to get in, but TK raised his hand, signaling him to stop.


Hell, nah, son. You’re not in just yet. Go out there and prove you want to be in BOB. Make some waves, rock the boat, fuck someone up!

None for me thanks, I'm naked. We're not boiling hot dogs. We have our own hot tubs for a reason. Tell Barney Green, he'll get you your own.

Barney Green rolls a hot tub into the shot with Mr. Oz sitting in it.

---

CHARLIE NICKLES - vs - BOBBY BOURBON Trick-or-Treater Horror Theater Match The match starts with both competitors in a giant pit surrounded by doors, and the competitors can open the doors to get a trick or treat First to get a Fun-Sized Snickers bar wins Loser has to wear a dress for a month

Somewhere, in a padded room, off and isolated, within the depths of the prison.

Bobby Bourbon is chained to a wall. Demonic. Diminutive. Repulsive. Horrid.

On the other wall.

Charlie Nickles is chained to a wall. Devious. Derivative. Repugnant. Hated.

Both men are lowered into an antechamber, where encircling them are countless doors, all glowing purple.

BARNEY: This is the place where all the doors are.

OZZY: Yep.

The sounds of locks being undone echoes throughout the chamber, and both Bobby and Charlie peel themselves from the wall.

BARNEY: Bobby comes right out swinging!

OZZY: So does Charlie!

Both men rush one another and begin swinging wildly on one another. Charlie with a left! Bobby with a left! Each men peppering one another in a stint of wild brawling.

BARNEY: I knew these two weren’t going to put on a technical masterpiece, Ozzy.[/orange]

OZZY: You’re right, Barn, this will be, as the saying goes, a fracas! A donnybrook! Dare I say it, a slobberknocker!

[green]BARNEY: And Charlie takes the advantage with a thumb to the eye!

Bobby recoils, and Charlie rushes in with a double axe handle to Bobby!

OZZY: Bobby doubles over from that one!

BARNEY: Charlie is headed to a door!

Charlie opens one of the doors.

OZZY: Is that?

BARNEY: It’s the waterlogged and bloated zombie corpse of Latina Submission Machina!

OZZY: That Mexican stereotype is now an undead stereotype!

Charlie can visibly be seen exclaiming “jeepers, a ghost!” before stumbling backward into Bobby!

BARNEY: Charlie spins, and Bobby with a kick to the gut!

OZZY: Bobby grabs Charlie, and we’ve been there before, Barney!

BOBBYBOMB.

BARNEY: The zombified corpse of LSM shambles towards Bobby! She has something for him!

OZZY: It’s a whole bag of fun size Snickers!

WINNER BY CANDY BOBBY BOURBON

A bell rings somewhere, and the specter of LSM is gone from sight! A beautiful pink Quinceanera dress descends from the ceiling! Charlie is coming to from the Bobbybomb and watching as it lowers. Bobby snags it once within reach, then looks at Charlie. Bobby shakes his head ‘no’.

You know what?

No.

You don’t get to wear the dress.

I’m going to wear it, because I will make it cool!

Bobby dons the dress!

OZZY: OH MY GOD BOBBY IS WEARING THE DRESS INSTEAD OF CHARLIE!

BARNEY: Looks good on him!

---

BULK LOGAN© - vs - YA'LL KNOW WHO Death Row Rumble From the holding cell to the electric chair. That's right, brother, the only way to win is to strap your opponent in that chair and give him a shocker of an ending! No pinfalls, no submissions, just pure electrifying action, brother!

MATCH SUMMARY:

After a quick-paced opening and a lot of pondering on who Bulk Logan was facing, Bulk seemed to get gassed early and couldn't keep up with whoever his opponent was and all seemed over for a moment when that guy hit some move that looked significant which Bulk just no-selled and pointed a big sausage finger at his opponent before big booting him into the electric chair and frying him.

WINNER AND STILL TELEVISION CHAMPION! - BULK LOGAN!

---

THUNDER KNUCKLES © - vs - EDWARD Escape from Hell Match The competitors must escape from the prison in one piece They will be hunted by undead guards chasing them throughout the match First one to escape from the Penitentiary wins the Universal Championship

The clinking of cell bars as a baton rattles across them echoes throughout the prison. The slow hobbled steps of an undead guard making his way down the row as if this was his only purpose stop as the clinking ends and the baton holds still in the open cell door. The guard turns with a groan, his boiled skin and loose jaw churning as his pale blue eyes lock on a figure in the darkness of the cell.

The guard lunges forward!

. . .

And his upper body is thrown far out of the cell! Blood trails as his exposed spinal cord sails through the air and lands far, far away.

The Anarchy Champion, the Strongest Warrior there is, Captain Caveman!

EDWARD!!!!

Stomps out of the cell holding the guard's legs by the ankle with a disgusted look. With a roar, he wishbones the legs and throws them aside.

"ZOMBIES TOO WEAK! FALL APART TOO EASY FOR EDWARD! EDWARD NEED REAL FIGHT! WHERE THUNDER KNUCKLE!? THUNDER KNUCKLEEEE!!!!!!"

EDWARD marches his way down the cell block in search for his opponent.

Meanwhile.

Sat in the warden's office; The face of the XWF, Universal Champion, the biggest bastard anyone has ever had the displeasure to meet.

Thunder Knuckles!

Sits with his feet up at the desk smoking a cigar and listening to jazz on a gramophone in the corner. Counting some money he found in the drawer in one hand he pockets it as he steps up and picks up a baseball bat from his side. Stepping over corpses of undead he opens up the door and looks back at his handiwork with a smirk before tossing the cigar into the room and setting it ablaze.

HHL: Looks like the champ's been busy.

PC: We really lucked out that all these undead monstrosities filled the prison in time for our main event.

TK makes his way down spiraling staircases, dodging an incoming zombie before smashing its head to pieces with a swift strike of his bat.

He continues his stroll with a whistle, wiping blood from his face as he walks down onto a balcony overlooking the cell block.

As TK looks over his surroundings a sharpened metal pipe flies through the air and grazes TK, leaving a sharp gash in his bicep as the pipe sticks in the brick wall behind him.

TK mutters to himself looking pissed as he stares down at EDWARD who goads him to come down.

TK hops over the railing and lands with a thud as he faces off with EDWARD.

PC: The hell is he doing!? Just escape you idiot!

MATCH SUMMARY:

TK and EDWARD face off in the cell block, a heavy blow with the bat knocks a few teeth loose and sends EDWARD reeling but the Anarchy Champion sees a second strike coming, grabbing the bat and breaking it over his knee! A right hook from TK is blocked by the broken half of the bat and EDWARD lands a headbutt on TK sending him stumbling over; EDWARD throws the pieces of bat down and launches TK, mounting him and delivering hammer blows into TK's mush.

Quick thinking and a swift knee to the groin followed by a thumb to the eyes leaves EDWARD blind and in pain as TK kicks the challenger off of him and begins retreating.

The sounds of violence have awoken the many denizens of the prison as the undead swarm our competitors.

EDWARD getting back to his feet begins to fight off the hordes but the numbers game is too much and he scales bars and walls to get to higher ground and begins chasing TK down from above.

The Universal Champion is sprinting towards the exit of the prison but EDWARD jumps down on top of him with a mighty yell and the the pair tumble into a struggle; both throwing strikes at one another becoming bloody, bruised and exhausted with each unrelenting hit from each competitor.

The brawl continues; EDWARD throwing TK into a barred window like a sack of potatoes and smashing glass!

As EDWARD comes to finish TK off with a heavy boot to the head, TK sticks a shard of glass into the sole of EDWARD's bar foot and the caveman hollers in agony falling to the ground clutching his foot in pain, leaving him exposed for...

THUNDER STRIKE!!!

Thunder Knuckles' signature Foot DDT drives the glass further into EDWARD's foot and leaves it broken and mangled as TK slowly gets up out of breath and hobbles towards the exit!

BUT EDWARD STILL HAS FIGHT IN HIM!

Clawing on the ground he grabs Thunder Knuckles' ankle and pulls him down; climbing over him and putting all his weight on TK throwing shots into him along the way!

As EDWARD gets closer to the exit; TK gets desperate and grabs EDWARD's injured foot and grasping it tightly, pushing his thumb into the open wound and digging his nails into the flesh! Viscera and blood pour from foot as TK wraps a second hand onto EDWARD's ankle and pushes himself up while EDWARD screams in pure agony!

Thunder Knuckles, now on his feet, gets EDWARD into a tight ankle lock, twisting and turning as his fingers push deeper into the wound separating muscle and he wrenches at EDWARD's leg!

The challenger's face turns a bright red, veins popping from his skull as in the distance the undead approach.

EDWARD doesn't give up, refusing, using every ounce of energy to push himself closer and closer towards the open door.

Thunder Knuckles, barely able to keep the hold in, blood covering him looks to EDWARD, then to the zombies coming for them and finally, to the door.

TK with a snap throws EDWARD's knee onto the concrete and makes a mad dash to the exit leaving EDWARD reeling and staring a hole through Thunder Knuckles as he escapes!

WINNER VIA ESCAPE AND STILL UNIVERSAL CHAMPION! - THUNDER KNUCKLES!

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Special thanks to those who wrote matches and sent in segments BOBBY BOURON GRAVY EDWARD JETT STERLING CHARLIE NICKLES DIONYSUS And every one that RPed for this show! GET SPOOKED XWF!