“For those of you tuning in...you new listeners, we want to start off by saying thanks so much for giving us a shot!”

“Yep, there’s no shortage of pro wrestling radio shows out there and the fact you’ve chosen to spend a few nights out of the week with us is humbling.”

“So humbling.  We’d also like to send our condolences out to On The Apron.  It’s never something you want to hear about, another pro wrestling podcast vanishing...we just hope those two hosts are okay.”

“I’m sure they just got fed up with everything that goes into this.  They’ll resurface.  Internet wrestling fans always do.”

“True that.  But, in the meantime, we welcome all the listeners hopping from their show over to ours...so, let’s get into it.  Welcome to Off The Top Rope!  The highest flying podcast in all of pro wrestling!”

“Dropping that elbow from fifteen feet in the air!  Oh yea, brother!”

“We’ve got a banger of a show lined up for you people...all sorts of wrestling news, including NEW XWF Universal Champion, Thunder Knuckles.  Crowning achievement or proof that XWF is a dying promotion?”

“Phone lines should fire up after that!”

“Speaking of the little devils...you called it, my man!  We got a caller coming through as we speak...let’s patch him through!”

“Yo, caller, you’re LIVE here at Off The Top Rope...what’s up?”

“…”

“Yo, caller, you there?”

“Yea, bro, you’re live my man.”

“Well hello, sirs.”

“There he is!  There’s our guy!  Welcome to the show, caller!  Are you here to talk about the biggest news in pro wrestling?”

“Yep.”

“Great...so, Thunder Knuckles win...is it a crowning achievement OR a sign that XWF is dying?”

“That’s not the biggest story in pro wrestling.”

“Sure it is!  Thunder Knuckles has been climbing the ranks of XWF for years!  Nobody has put more heart and soul into the promotion than ole TK.  Some thought he’d never reach the top and, not only did he prove them wrong, but he did so against one of the greatest wrestlers of this generation!”

“You think a guy named Corey Smith is one of the greatest wrestlers of a generation?”

“Uh, yea, the results speak for themselves.”

“The only question is...does this mean a new, glorious era is ushering into XWF OR is TK winning the biggest prize in the game a sign that XWF is finally about to close its doors?”

“Look, you guys have it all wrong.  Nobody cares about Thunder Knuckles, Corey Smith, or the XWF Universal Championship.  It’s like fleas versus flies, okay?  The REAL story that people should be talking about is the one, the only...the dreaded...Slade Durant.”

“Uh, who?”

“Wait, that sounds kinda familiar...isn’t that the guy who lost on Night 1 to Dionysus?”

“Oh yea!  He was challenging for the TV Title and got beat!  How is that anywhere CLOSE to as big as TK toppling Corey Smith for the Uni Title?”

“Fools.  Slade Durant didn’t lose to Dionysus.  He set the stage.  The stage for something far bigger in scope and scale than a measly TV Title.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yes.  His ultimate goal is the destruction of Chet Dakota and pro wrestling itself.  But...that...takes time.  One mission at a time.  And next up is Victor the Judge Mental…”

“Excuse me...the what mental?”

“Judge?  What, is he going to small claims court or something?”

“It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt and that someone is Victor the Judge Mental...now, sit back as I regale you with the most horrific story ever told on this podcast…”

---

Slade Durant spent the better part of his Sunday afternoon in a New York City bar watching Jets fans suffer as their team laid yet another anemic egg.  You see, during football season, The Dreaded Slade Durant picks the city of the team most likely to lose and flies out there to watch their fans suffer in the misery of defeat.

It’s one of his many passions.

And, on that particular Sunday, it was so very delicious.  Until something caught his eye...a man at the end of the bar wearing a Chiefs jersey. 

“This beer tastes off,” the man said. 

The bartender, whose eyes were looking up at the screen overhead, replied, “Not now, Victor.”

“It tastes off and kinda bland.”

The bar groaned with disgust as Zach Wilson sat down for no apparent reason while in the pocket.  The bartender threw his towel down and addressed Victor properly, “Damnit, Victor!  I said not now!  Can’t you see the Jets are pissing me off?!”

“And,” Victor eyed the glass, “this glass isn’t the proper shape for a beer this dark.”

The bartender eyed Victor as any normal person would.  “Okay, now you’re just fucking with me.”

Victor pushed the glass of beer away with a flair of arrogance, “I’m sorry if my taste in beer and how it's presented goes above and beyond yours.  Perhaps you should take your job a little more seriously.”

“Okay, that’s it!  GET THE FUCK OUT!”

“What?  What did I do?”

“Get the fuck out you judgmental prick!”  The bartender gave Victor a leash, albeit a short one.  Once he realized Victor wasn’t moving, he turned to the bar full of equally annoyed Jets fans.  They stood, ready to pounce.

“Okay, okay, I’m leaving.  Geez.”

Victor got up and headed for the exit.  He pulled the door back and paused, “By the way, this door is creaking a little bit...I’d expect you’d want to get this fixed before…”

“GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY BAR, VICTOR!”  The glass of beer Victor pushed away in disgust came flying at him.  He ducked as it shattered against the door.

Once everything settled down, Slade was left to ponder what just occurred.  The Jets fans quieted as optimism returned when their team got the ball on offense with yet another opportunity to win.

“Victor The Judgmental.  I’ve found you...hehehehe.”

Slade left a bag of change to pay for his tab.  He stood to exit.  Reaching the door, he pushed it open and spotted Victor standing a few feet away waiting for an Uber.  As the door shut, a loud roar of disgust fired from within as the Jets fans watched Zach Wilson throw a checkdown on fourth and long.

Slade…

---

“Wait, so you’re saying this guy flies to cities of shitty NFL teams so he can watch the fans of that team endure three hours of suffering?”

“Yep...so dreaded, right?”

“I don’t know how dreaded but it’s a total dick move, for sure.”

“Okay so I’m on the XWF website and this guy's name is Victor The Judge Mental...not The Judgmental.  And, look, I’m not saying the real name is any better but there is a difference.”

“Spin your propaganda machine...twist that narrative but the fact remains that Slade Durant’s destruction of pro wrestling and it’s most renowned icon, Chet Dakota continues to churn and its next victim is Victor The Judgmental…”

“Right, well, thanks for the call it’s been…”

“Oh, you thought I was finished?  I’m so very, very far from finished…”

---

Slade Durant approached Victor the Judgmental on that fateful Sunday.  He struck up a conversation with the man, one in which he knew the future victim would gladly participate.  Mid-conversation, Victor’s Uber pulled up.

But, being the judgmental person Victor was, he found himself too immersed in judging everything he perceived wrong with that local drinking establishment to notice his ride had arrived.  So, Slade found one of the numerous homeless people lying around and furtively motioned for the man to take the ride.

The homeless man did and the Uber driver drove away unaware.

---

“Wait, so he let a homeless guy take Victor’s Uber?”

“That’s not very cool, bro.”

“No, it indeed is NOT cool...some might even call it...dreaded.”

“That homeless guy probably stinks.  Man, his star rating is going to take a hit.  Poor Victor.”

“Oh, but it only gets worse...hehehe”

---

Slade Durant put his arm around Victor and escorted him away, down the street. 

Where were they going?  What did Slade have in store for Victor?

Well, that’s a story for another time…

---

“Holy Blue Balls, man!  Seriously?!”

“What?  I can’t just reveal the entire plan in one sitting!  You have to let it rest, breathe…”

“Okay so I just did some research on this Slade Durant guy and he hasn’t won a match in, like 30 years, apparently!”

“So why are we wasting all this time letting this weird caller with his fanboy crush talk about him?”

“Because you know just like everyone else that the Dreaded Slade Durant is the puppetmaster pulling all the strings.  He is the black heart of pro wrestling and once his full plan is revealed this entire industry will never, ever be the same.”

“While we admire your enthusiasm and strangely dedicated loyalty to a wrestler who hasn’t won a match since half the pro wrestling audience has been alive...I just can’t fathom a no-name, do-nothing wrestler like Slade Durant having any impact on any promotion...ever.”

“Pay attention at Warfare on October 7th.  Watch with your eyes. Listen with your ears and maybe, just maybe you’ll see what I know.  What the whole world will come to know...The Dreaded Slade Durant cannot be stopped.  It all began years ago when Chet Dakota took advantage of a prone Slade Durant and defeated him for the WCC Championship.  Slade was humiliated and went into exile…”

“Yea, we don’t need the history lesson.”

“Wrestling is so much better now than it was then...WHO CARES”

“Shows how enlightened you are.  Shows how enlightened the WORLD is.  For years Slade Durant watched as Chet ascended while pro wrestling forgot about Slade Durant.  That’s when he realized that the world only cares about you when you have something to offer.  The minute you lose control of what the world wants is the minute you no longer matter.  So, Slade plotted and planned.  It was time to make the world pay...the world of professional wrestling and its savior, Chet Dakota.  He finally put his plan into motion against Mark Flynn.  He took the second step against Dionysus.  And, on October 7th, the plan continues as he seeks to destroy Victor the Judgmental.”

“So his plan is to lose a whole bunch, is that it?”

“You have to sacrifice to achieve success.  You think a man who spent thirty years in exile cares about a few in-ring losses?  They mean nothing to Slade Durant.  Stepping stones to his ultimate goal.”

“Alright well, you’ve been blabbering enough.  We need to get some actual Thunder Knuckles talk in here at some point.”

“That’s fine.  Diminish the significance of what I’m telling you.  The truth is too terrifying for mental midgets such as the two of you.  Just remember...when it’s all said and done and Slade’s ultimate plan is revealed and it’s too late...remember that I tried.  I tried to warn you.  I tried to warn all of you.  Unfortunately, you just wouldn’t listen.”

“Yea, that’s enough.”

“Adios, amigo!”

“Man, he was crazy.”

“The craziest.”

“Couldn’t even get Slade’s opponent’s name right.”

“Wrestling fans, dude...hey, hold on...we’ve got someone typing in the live stream.  They are saying we shouldn’t let that guy on anymore.”

“I can’t argue that.  He’s radio death with his long-winded monologues and stories that go nowhere.”

“Yea, but he’s saying that caller is the reason On The Apron went defunct and the two hosts vanished…”

“...that’s crazy.”

“Right?  ...But, he’s a shitty caller anyway so maybe we just ban him...just to, ya know, be safe?”

“Whoa…”

“What?”

“Our listeners tripled over the last half hour.  Since we let that weirdo on.”

“...but we’re still banning him, right?”

“…”