A Literal Gorilla has a big day ahead of him.

It’s not just his match at Relentless, no, not at all. A debut at Relentless is huge regardless.

The gorilla puts on a fedora and a trench coat, the perfect disguise to look human.

The gorilla grabs his golf bag.

The gorilla grabs his surgical scrubs and puts them on over the trench coat.

The gorilla walks out of the woods he lives in and down to the bus stop. There’s already someone seated, and they pleasantly look up at the gorilla.

“Hello,” the stranger began, “how are you doing today? Isn’t this some lovely weather?”

The gorilla barely regards him.

“Ook ook.”

“Well that’s one way of looking at it, you got a lot going on today?”

The gorilla ignores the human on the bench. It’s not being rude.

It’s just a gorilla and doesn’t understand human conversations.

The bus arrives. The gorilla steps aboard, scans his bus pass card, and makes his way to a seat. The bus continues its normal route, and eventually, while in motion down a freeway, the gorilla stands up, walks to the back of the bus, kicks the door open, and jumps out, grabbing a tree branch as he does, and landing safely on the ground. The rest of the people on the bus panic like crazy at the sight.

The gorilla, carrying his golf bag, walks up a hill to a lovely country club. A Tesla passes him, honking their horn as they do, and the gorilla waves. An Audi follows, but slows down. The driver comes to a stop beside the gorilla and rolls their window down to address the gorilla.

“Ted? Is that you?”

The gorilla looks back at the driver.

“Ook ook.”

The driver nods.

“Ted, you old son of a gun you, get on in here!”

The gorilla rips the rear door completely off and places his golf bag inside. The gorilla then jumps on top of the car, then onto the other side of it, rips the passenger door off completely, and gets in.

“Ook ook.”

The driver is laughing.

“Oh, Ted, you kidder!” The driver is overjoyed. “How’d you know I was driving my ex-Wife’s favorite car today!”

The literal gorilla doesn’t understand the concept of what an ex-wife is. People have strange constructs they add to their already complicated existence. Ex-wives, pssht. The gorilla has a wife. It’s nice. Past that, cooking food, writing, all that stuff that gets in the way of what’s important; banging females and being alpha. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. The driver pulls ahead to the clubhouse of the country club.

“Alright Ted, here you go, I’ll go find a good spot, pick out a good cart for us!”

“Ook ook.”

The gorilla exits the car, rips the other rear door completely off, and pulls out his golf clubs. He walks down a path to a large garage full of carts. The crew automatically recognize him.

“Mr. Jolly, how are you today?”

“Ook ook.”

“Of course. And we have the patient prepped on another cart.”

A long golf cart pulls out which is towing a stretcher. A human in a hospital gown is laid out on the slab, out like a light. A team of nurses approach.

“Dr. Jolly, the patient is under, we’re ready to begin the procedure.”

“Ook ook.”

Humans often confuse and muddle what’s important. Enjoying yourself is important, contributing to your community is important. While doing the opposite of each at any given time is more common than we’d like, doing both at the same time is a rare pleasure for most. The man who dropped the literal gorilla, who may or may not also be Dr. Ted Jolly, approaches. He’s dressed like an absolute dork like anyone who takes golf seriously.

“So, Ted, want to make it interesting? How about fifty bucks a hole?”

The gorilla doesn’t understand stuff like currency. Currency is how humans determine who’s an alpha. Math. Never do the math. The gorilla gets into the passenger side of his and the man’s cart, and the nurses get into theirs, towing the patient along with them. They pull up to the tee box of the first hole, a beautiful par 4 with a sweeping view of the entire course. The man walks into the tee box. As he does, the gorilla begins the procedure. He removes a scalpel from his golf bag, and makes the incision on the patient just below the naval. The man tees off. The gorilla notices, and cleans the incision. Nurses keep it sterile as the gorilla goes into the tee box with his new three wood.

“Easy, Ted, the wind is kinda strong above the treeline, but your patient is stable. I don’t know how you do surgery while playing golf.”

The gorilla just assumed that’s what doctors do. It’s what Dr. Ted Jolly does. It’s at this point that, pulling along the drive on the country club’s grounds, we see the XWF Promotional Tour Bus. He sees the picture of himself and Roger, hyping the biggest match in Relentless history. The gorilla rips off his disguise and runs after the bus, knowing he must beat Roger.

“Ted, you gotta tee off! And your patient isn’t very stable anymore!”