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Dionysus · (08-05-2023)

If you thought shopping for a toddler was bad, try one trip to Kohls with Wide Dio.

Daniel and Devin were settling in at the vineyard, and Wide Dio had mentioned to me that he was in dire need of some new clothes. Apparently, the ones he had on were shrinking in the wash. Considering the guy can manage to eat a twenty-inch submarine sandwich on his own, I think I have a few other ideas as to why his clothes aren't fitting him.

But try telling him that.

So here we are; Dio in the biggest changing room they had available that thankfully was not a handicap only room (at my insistence) and me standing outside waiting for him. While I waited, I felt a vibration in my pocket, and as I withdrew my phone, I immediately went to my emails. We were still hopeful in getting results back from the background checks for the other guys, and while it may still be too early, I didn't want to miss a chance to tell everyone the good news.

But nope. Just the itinerary for the next show.

I took in a deep breath to calm myself down again, then caught myself pacing back and forth in front of the changing room. Thankfully we were still in the mens section, otherwise some people might get the wrong idea about my pacing...though in this day and age, they probably had the wrong idea anyhow. I felt another vibration in my hand, and as I looked down, a message came in. I opened it up.

It was from Elli.

I spy with my little eye...

"What a weird message," I said to myself before putting my phone back.

I heard a door open in the changing area, and a few giggles of approval from a large, grown man. Wide Dio waddled out of the changing room. And yes, I do mean waddle. He did manage to find a t-shirt that fit him okay, and had on a purple and white-checkered button-up shirt on top of the shirt. His jeans, on the other hand, seemed like they were too tight for him, perhaps explaining why he waddled out. "I think this looks okay," He started saying, pointing to his new jeans. "But I dunno if these fit right."

I kneeled down to take a closer look. "Hmm...yeah, I think you might have the wrong cut. Did you grab one from relaxed fit?"

"Thought so," He remarked, shrugging.

Shaking my head, I looked at the long sticker on the side. The "Slim" indicator told me that someone had just left those jeans in the wrong spot. I sighed, looking up at Wide Dio. "Well I've got some bad news. These aren't the fit you're looking for."

Wide Dio waved his hand dismissively. "That's okay; I still got my old pair. Just thought I'd try something different, but since it ain't got no holes and doesn't stink too bad, it'll do." He handed me an armful of the button-ups, saying, "These all fit without buttonin' 'em, so I think I'll take those. That okay, D?"

I looked down at the armful. I didn't get a good count, but I think I saw six shirts in the bundle. One of the pricier trips I would make to Kohls today. "Its fine," I said after a moment, "I had some Kohls Cash I needed to use anyway."

"Love that Kohls Cash," Wide Dio excitedly said. "I'ma go change now." He turned and waddled back to the changing room, taking care to not accidentally rip the jeans he had on, lest he buy a pair he didn't intend to purchase. While he went off to change, I couldn't help but shake the feeling that I heard laughter coming from somewhere...maybe it was just the song playing throughout the store's intercom and just misheard it...no, it was distinctly laughter...how did-

"Well what a wonderful surprise that I definitely did not plan!"

I wheeled around to see Elli, almost startling the both of us as I did. Perhaps I was a bit too frantic. "Well hello to you too, I guess," she sassed at me. "And after I happened to catch you walking around the store."

I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. "Well, you weren't exactly who I was expecting to see here, of all places," I replied. "In fact, I was helping a friend with a new wardrobe, and-"

"Hey D, you won't believe what I found in the changing room!" We both turned to look at Wide Dio, who not only managed to change quicker than I thought was possible, but also was holding...a fast food takeout bag. From Burger King. "This is awesome! Didn't think you could find food here-"

"Give me that," I interrupted, swiping the bag of food from him. "You don't know where that's been."

"Hey, I found it first. Give it back," he growled. Dio really was willing to eat anything in front of him, wasn't he?

"Dio, you don't even know how long this has been sitting out," I chastised.

"...Soooooooo..." Elli chimed in while the two of us were arguing.

We both slowly turned to look at Elli, who gave me a disapproving look. The thought then occurred to me. "Right, sorry. Elli this is my fri-"

"Cousin," Wide Dio cut me off before I could finish my sentence. He extended a hand. "Name's Wide Dio."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and looked down. He gave her his nickname... "...I'm sorry, Wade Dio? Like Radio but with a W instead?" Elli asked in confusion.

"Well actually-"

"Yes, its Wade," It was my turn to cut off Wide Dio. I gave him a knowing look, considering everything that had happened. "He just moved into down but we're still waiting on his luggage from the airline."

"Well nice to meet you, Wade," Elli said politely. For now, the slip had worked in our favor. "You probably don't want to eat cold food, right? Why don't we go get lunch together? My treat!"

"Well that's nice, but-"

"Come on, D," Wide Dio once again interrupted. "It isn't like you to be this shy. Of course we'll join you. Just warnin' ya, I have a big appetite!" He chuckled as he started to waddle toward the checkout counter.

I shook my head. "He's a bit of a handful," I muttered to Elli quietly.

"He seems nice, but is he doing okay?" Elli asked with concern. "He seems really out of shape."

"I tried talking to him about it once, and he insisted that he was in shape," I paused, groaning internally before continuing, "Because...round is a shape."

Elli snorted trying to stifle a laugh. "He didn't say that!"

"He did," I sighed out, shrugging and shaking my head. "He seems happy, but I can't help but think something is wrong."

"Well you should talk to him about it," Elli insisted. "You guys are family, right? What's the worst that could happen?"

"Aside from him sitting on me?" I joked, knowing that it wasn't really funny. Elli grimaced in my direction, obviously not thrilled with my response. Though again, I could have sworn I heard laughter...I sighed and told her the truth while we walked toward the entrance to the store, waiting for "Wade" to go through the checkout. "I've tried talking to him a few times about his weight and diet, but he just brushes it off or gets angry and tells me to drop it. I'm worried that if he doesn't address it, things could take a turn for the worse."

Elli's expression lightened up as she placed a hand on my shoulder. "I can see how this is difficult. You shouldn't have to help your cousin on your own. Lets talk to him together. He seems to like me anyway; maybe that will help if he hears it from someone else too."

I thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "You're right. He needs to listen to what we have to say."

"'Bout what?" Wide Dio asked. I hadn't realized he finished at the till.

"About where we wanted to go for lunch, right Elli?" I quickly improvised.

"Yeah, are burgers okay?" Elli asked Wide Dio.

"Sure, lead the way!" He said excitedly. "Oh boy, new clothes and I don't even need to buy lunch! This day couldn't get any better!"

I hated that I was about to ruin his day...

There is something to be said about having a balanced diet.

You can't go into this business just eating anything you want to. There are periods of time, maybe over the course of a few months, where you need to be stricter with your diet. Whether it is passing on your usual favorite fast foods or calculating just how many carbs you need in a given day to either maintain weight or achieve gains or losses, it can be an incredibly difficult time for many a competitor if they are not properly taking care of themselves.

This is really just my way of saying that French cuisine did not agree with me.

Indeed, there was an American in Paris that returned home with the same amount of luggage as he came in with. Sitting atop the Eiffel Tower, lying exhausted while others towered over me claiming what I hoped to achieve. And in that moment, did I feel anger at the loss? Did I feel resentment toward myself, that I was once again not able to get the job done?

Of course not.

Because in that one match, I have never felt more alive.

XWF is truly the proving grounds for those who want to make something of themselves. The competition is fierce, and no matter which title you may be after, expect the competition to be on par with you. Hence, my long-awaited rematch with Ms. Angelica Vaughn. Now, I know what people are going to expect me to say. "Angelica and her small stature got the better of little ol' me! I'm going to kick her ass and she also smells like a big doodie!" Or something along those lines. But if I am being honest with the rest of you, I couldn't be prouder of Ms. Vaughn dethroning me.

I have never been one to want to completely decimate a division and make everyone outside it looking in feel intimidated simply because I am at the helm of it, swatting away every last bit of competition that comes my way. A division is only as strong as its weakest competitor, and the champion of that division should be the one bringing their A-Game every single match. A rising tide raises all ships, after all. And as champion, you are the one that is meant to shape how the competition of that division should be. If our last match taught the division anything, it should be to not rest on your laurels so quickly when at a moment's notice, the person you least expect to come out on top...will.

It is a harsh lesson that I won't soon forget.

And yet, even in two matches, I can already tell that there is a distinct difference between your style of championing and mine. See, you are someone who is content with being a show-off of every other skill aside from wrestling. Why else create a cooking match with an easy as piss dish to create? Simple; it wasn't a matter of just beating Noah Jackson, but to also seek validation from the world's most overrated chef as you embarrassed yourself using molasses to cook pasta. Enough creative juices to Iron Chef your way to a win, but not enough to really wow the crowd as Gordon naturally upstaged both of you. At first, I thought there would be no hope for you, and you were only seeking to make as gimmicky of stipulations as possible to compensate for a lack of skill.

Then came the One Sec of Heck.

Though the cage was overkill, it does stand as a testament to just how serious people should be taking you. And to walk off with a win against a competitor like Alex Richards is certainly not something to sneeze at. I should know; I've had many run-ins with Richards and can remember how our matches were battles. It was a stipulation that helped compensate for the obvious differences between the two of you, creating more of a level playing field. That said, it also shows just how many reckless risks you are willing to take. Even if you felt the match itself was a sure bet for you, leaving a wide avenue like that open is, frankly, needless. Unless you are showboating.

So we have the complete breakdown of Angelica Vaughn as a champion; you have the capability of creating matches that people will indeed have an interest in, though your own creativity exposes your own hubris. I explained quite clearly why I chose the stipulation that I had during our first encounter. My plan was not to create a scenario where you could not lose. My desire was to create a scenario that would serve as a proper challenge and a true test to see if you had what it took to become a champion, in the skillset that matters the most in our business. Because I am not out here to prove that I am better than you.

I am out here to prove to everyone that I deserve to be here.

I am out here to give everything to be a champion.

I am out here to show the world just what kind of champion I am.

And no matter what stipulation you may place at my feet, I will meet it head on and reclaim what I have lost.

That title is the only weight I plan on gaining back.

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