XWF camera crews are at it again. they’ve found Thunder Knuckles. Much to their surprise, he was actually where he told them he’d be. They've caught him walking up to the nurse's station down the hallway from Lilabeth’s room. He must have just arrived.


I’m here to see Lilabeth. She’s in room 324 or some shit. Which one is it again?



TK has been told several times by this same nurse what room number Lilabeth is in. Her annoyance at having to deal with him is evident.


It’s been 327 every time you asked.


Not to get sucked into a conversation with TK, she walks away.


Yeah, thanks a lot, cunt.


While humming "Singing in the Rain", TK starts off toward Lilabeth's room with a little pep in his step. TK cuts around the corner and enters her room, scanning the room outside the door as he makes his way inside. However, the XWF camera crews are fast on the uptake and are able to get inside before TK closes the door.

Jimmy, on the other hand, is currently in a meeting with some Make-A-Wish representatives and Lilabeth’s parents. In response to Make-A-Wish's decision to assign TK to Lilabeth, her parents are furious.


The only thing he’s teaching her is how to give up. How money is more important than anything, even survival.

That’s not necessarily true. Thunder Knuckles has taught her how to…

What? How to get into a wreck in some kind of illegal Urban BOBsledding ring?


As Jimmy sits quietly, he knows that this isn't going well, and he doesn't respond. If he isn't able to accomplish the task that TK sent him to do, what would happen? One of the representatives from Make-A-Wish asks Jimmy a simple question.


Jimmy, why didn’t TK come here today with you?

Well… He’s busy with work stuff. Getting ready for his match against Dionysus, Jenny Myst, and the always-dangerous Reggie Estrada. That’s his job. My job is to ensure everything runs smoothly, so he can do his.


Lilabeth's father interjects with a few strong words.


You’re doing a crap job at it, sir. Let me tell you.


Lilabeth’s mother smacks her husband's arm.


Watch your mouth, Bill. Don’t stoop to their level.


Jimmy takes a deep breath because he knows this is going to be a long meeting.

In the hospital, as you know, TK has entered Lilabeth's room to talk to her. Lilabeth is hiding under her hospital blanket, laying in bed. TK looks around the room confused.


What the fuck are you doing kid?


Lilabeth doesn’t say anything. TK walks over to the bed and peels the cover back off Lilabeth’s face. She still doesn’t want to see TK but is glad he’s here, for now.


Something is in my closet.


She points across the room to the only closet. TK looks over rolls his eyes and looks back at the child.


Quit being a scared little shit.


Lilabeth’s face is scornful. She’s tired of TK.


What are you doing here?

Your parents keep calling. I assumed you wanted me here, shit.

Yeah, they keep calling to tell you never to come back, but you ignored their calls!


TK smirks knowing Jimmy is taking care of everything right now. His smirk enrages young Lilabeth.


I hope you lose your match on Warfare!

Woah, there, little shit. That would be damn near impossible. Do you even know who I’m up against?

Yeah! And Jenny Myst is going to make quick work of you!


TK grits his teeth and looks into the camera ignoring Lilabeth. He snarls and begins to shoot on his opponents.


Can anyone explain why Jenny Myst is even in this match? I can’t for the life of me think of a single reason why this bitch would even be in the position to go onto the Leap of Faith match. Now it’s time to put Jenny back in the fucking grave that she just recently pulled herself out of. She gets on Dio for being the worst TV Champ ever…


TK pauses for a second stunned by the stupidity. Lilabeth notices TK is using this visit to record his promo and doesn’t like it.

Stop!


He ignores her.


Isn’t she the bitch that dropped the title in 14 days? I know what you're thinking but TK she won the thing like three times. She even beat Charlie for it.


TK gives his signature jerking off hand gesture.


Okay, she won it three times and held it for a combined 76 days compared to Dio holding it for 29 in one. What an inflated sense of goddamn ego. Despite what you see on TV Jenny Myst is nothing more than wasted lower midcard talent. Take it from me, THE NEW KING OF THE MIDCARDERS™! Seems like that’s all anyone has in the tank anymore.


TK counts on his fingers, putting up his pointer finger.


Mark Flynn-


Lilabeth chimes in again.


He’s better than you.


Puts up his middle finger specifically for…


Corey Smith-


Lilabeth says in a huff.


Paid you to take a dive.


TK then puts up his thumb, because the person in question is a thumb.


and Jenny Myst. The fact she is even mentioned with those names shows that even the best can suck my ass. Oh, and don’t get me wrong. I’m not defending Dio in the slightest. That guy shit the bed hard. However, he didn’t sneakily do it, unlike Jenny who took a piss… on the Ferris Wheel. Jenny Myst is gross. Bobby was right.


TK shakes off Jenny’s grossness. Lilabeth stays quiet cause even she knows that’s pretty gross.


I feel like I’m forgetting something…


TK is searching his mind for what it is he’s possibly forgetting but draws a blank.


On Warfare, I’m going to add three new punchlines to this running joke: Jenny Myst, Dio, and…


Suddenly he remembers what he was looking for in his mind.


Reggie Estrada. Boy, I’m going to make you squeal like a piggie in that ring. In this four corners match, I’m not leaving you out of my goddamn sight. You hear me, you sneaky fuck? You’ve always been the type to sneak up behind someone with a roll up and walk away with a victory. Not this time, hombre. I’m going to make sure, while beating these other two useless shit sticks, you’re taking a beating too.


TK looks back at Lilibeth.


Then you know what I’m going to do Lilibeth?


Lilibeth shrugs, not caring.


I’m going to go on to Leap of Faith and snag the goddamn briefcase.


While TK finishes talking about his opponents, simultaneously, Jimmy is coming up with the solution to the Make-A-Wish problem.


I think we need a better role model for Lilabeth!


Jimmy nods his head in agreement with Bill, who at this point is shocked that Jimmy agrees.


I couldn’t agree more and I think TK, and myself, found the perfect person to take his place.

No! We will not take anyone Thunder Knuckles refers, thanks, but no thanks.

I’m telling you that this guy-


Jimmy reaches down to his side and pulls out his briefcase.


-is probably the most honest, noble person in XWF.


Jimmy looks over to the representatives of Make-A-Wish.


In my hand-


Jimmy puts a manilla folder with Ned Kaye’s name on it held in place by a paper clip.


-is Ned Kaye’s file. We want to make sure that Ned Kaye takes over Thunder Knuckle’s Make-A-Wish responsibilities. It’s the very least we can do.


The Make-A-Wish people seem very pleased and talk amongst each other at a murmurs volume.


I just don’t think it’s a good idea.


The lead representative for Make-A-Wish speaks up.


Mr. and Mrs. Pepperstien, we’ve been trying for years to land this name. If Jimmy can provide such an excellent replacement. Then I think we should really consider it. Here.


The head rep looks over to one of his aides.


Can we get some tape on Ned Kaye quickly to show the Peppersteins?


Jimmy quickly pulls something else out of the briefcase.


I hope you don't mind-


Jimmy passes over a DVD that he made of Ned Kaye to sell Lilabeth’s parents on the idea.


-but I made this just to show how good of a person Ned Kaye is.


I honestly think you guys will be pleased with this replacement. I assure you.


A smile forms on Jimmy’s face as one of the Make-A-Wish reps takes and puts in the DVD for the Peppersteins.

Back in Lilabeth’s hospital room TK is about to give her the good news.


Let’s face the facts, kid.

What? That you’re not a good person!


TK agrees with the girl with a nod of his head.


Yeah, I’m not, but you can’t say I didn’t try. Honestly, I had this whole plan of killing you off.


The shocked look on Lilabeth’s face can't even be described.


You were going to kill me?!

Yeah, but Jimmy’s a fucking softy, and wouldn’t let me.

Thank goodness-

Don’t get it twisted though, I found a fate far worse than death for you, kid.


TK looks down at his diamond-encrusted watch.


Right now, Jimmy should be finishing up at a meeting set up to give you to someone else.

GOOD! I HATE YOU THUNDER KNUCKLES!

That’s the spirit!





Meanwhile, just as TK had said, Jimmy was indeed finishing up his meeting with Lilabeth’s family. Her parents seem happy with the video that Jimmy made, highlighting Ned’s wholesome image.


I have to say… I am impressed. Thank you so much for doing all this work to make sure Lilabeth has a good replacement, instead of leaving it to XWF management.

See, Thunder Knuckles isn’t such a bad guy. He knows when he isn’t cut out for something. This was a learning lesson for everyone.

I couldn’t agree more. Okay, with this matter resolved I think it’s safe to say we’re done here. Thank you all of coming in and getting this taken care of for young Lilabeth.


Jimmy stands up shakes the lead rep’s hand and walks over to the door to hold it open. Lilabeth’s parents walk out of the room thanking Jimmy yet again before leaving. The representatives are walking toward the door while Jimmy is still holding it open for them.

Again at the hospital, TK leans into Lilabeth’s ear and whispers.


Enjoy your new Make-A-Wish person.

Just leave!


As soon as he was done saying that he smiles at Lilabeth one last time.


Sure thing, kid.


TK starts humming again as he walks toward the door. He looks back at Lilabeth with a cocky smile as he turns off the lights in her room. As he exits the room he pulls the door shut. XWF camera crews stay with her and capture her looking over at the closet. She slowly pulls her blanket up over her head again.

One final time at Make-A-Wish after everyone exits the room, Jimmy quickly runs over to the desk where "Ned’s file" is, removes the paperclip and Ned’s name, revealing who is actually taking TK’s Make-A-Wish responsibilities.

We cut back to Lilabeth’s room one last time. Ten seconds haven't even passed since she put the blanket over her face. You can hear Lilabeth’s closet creaks open.

She pulls the blanket down very slowly until gets down past her eyes. Suddenly the lights in the room turn back on and the nurse from earlier is there. The closet is shut.


I think something is in my closet.

Don't be afraid.-


The nurse walks over to the closet.


There's nothing here that can hurt you.


She reaches out, opens the closet door, and gets pulled in. She screams then nothing.


Lilabeth is scared shit-less at this point. The closet door slowly opens up, and the nurse's body falls lifelessly to the floor.


Wish apon a star, bitch.


The shot of a sinister-looking Micheal Graves is the last thing seen before fading to black.