Since the dawn of time, man has marveled at the wonders of discovery. 

From the groundbreaking invention of fire, which brought warmth and protection against the cold...


...to the ingenious creation of tools made from stone and bone, allowing early humans to hunt and build.


Throughout history, mankind has continuously sought innovative solutions to overcome life's challenges. 

Cavemen, in particular, were pioneers of discovery, finding ways to survive and thrive in their harsh and primitive environment. 

They honed their skills in crafting sharp spears, sturdy clubs, and crude yet effective traps to capture their prey.


But among the annals of invention and ingenuity, there is one figure who defies convention and stands apart. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to EDWARD.


EDWARD, the mighty caveman warrior, renowned for his unmatched strength and fearless spirit, finds himself facing a peculiar predicament. 

After a series of grueling matches, he now sits confined to a full body cast, his every movement restricted. 

But does EDWARD despair? 

Does he bow down to adversity? 

No! 

EDWARD, in his primal spirit, discovers a new tool to conquer his upcoming challenge.




DOCTOR SAY EDWARD NEED REST!"

"EDWARD SAY-REST FOR DEAD!"

"EDWARD NOT DEAD!"

"EDWARD STRONGEST WARRIOR!"

"EDWARD THROW HGH FROM TREE TO TAKE SHINY!"

"EDWARD SURVIVE CAGE WITH SABERTOOTH TIGERS!"

"EDWARD ARM MEAT DANGLE LOOSE, BUT EDWARD BRAVE TRICKY WOMAN WHO WANT TO CHANGE SHINIEST SHOW..."

"ANARCHY FOR TRUE WARRIORS, NOT WOMAN WITH NEVER ENDING MOUTH."

"EDWARD KNOW, XWF "NOT WARRIORS" NO WANT TO ENDURE TRICKY WOMAN WORDS WHEN SHOW MADE FOR FIGHT."

"THAT WHY EDWARD, ONE ARM, STOOD AGAINST TRICKY WOMAN AND TOOK ALL SHE THROW AT EDWARD."

"AS STRONGEST WARRIOR, EDWARD ALSO DEFENDER OF TRIBE."

"NOT JUST SMASH OTHERS IN RING. EDWARD ALSO KEEP TRIBE SAFE AND PROTECT FROM CORRUPTION!"

"THAT WHY EDWARD BRAVE PAIN OF ARM."

"THAT WHY EDWARD THROW SELF AND TRICKY WOMAN TO HARD STONE FLOOR!"

"EDWARD HAVE DUTY TO PROTECT TRIBE."

"TO PROTECT SHINNY."

"EDWARD HAVE WILL TO STAND AGAINST ALL WHO THINK ARE STRONGER THAN EDWARD."

"BUT EVEN STRONG BODY HAVE END."

"END THAT MAKE WARRIOR SEEM READY TO BECOME PREY."

"BUT TRUE WARRIOR KNOW EYE CAN LIE!"

"IN WILD, WHAT SEEM HARMLESS OFTEN PROVE MOST DEADLY!"

"EDWARD AGREE TO TRIPLE THREAT BECAUSE EVEN WITH EDWARD BODY NEAR END, EDWARD SEE NO THREAT."

"EVEN IF EDWARD BODY WEAK NOW, EDWARD HAVE STRONG MIND."

"EDWARD USE STRONG MIND TO MAKE SITTING WHEEL, BIG, STRONG, AND TOUGH, JUST LIKE EDWARD!"

EDWARD spins in his chair, made from round thing with spokes that EDWARD's hairy ape friends gathered from metal horses!

"WITH ROCK'N'ROLLER, EDWARD WILL ROLL RIGHT OVER ALL WARRIORS BRAVE ENOUGH TO CHALLENGE!"

"BLACK MAN GET BIG WIN LAST WEEK. EDWARD SEE EYEING SHINY AFTER. BLACK MAN NEED REMINDER THAT IT EDWARD WHO KNOCK MINDMASTER FROM TOP OF MOUNTAIN."

"BLACK MAN ONLY FEAST ON EDWARD SCRAPS."

"NOT STRONGEST WARRIOR!"

"MORE LIKE HYENA. FIERCE AND SCARY ONLY TO WEAKEST OF PREY." 

"BLACK MAN LOSE MATCH AFTER CHILD PLAYTHING THROWN AT HIM. LOSE TO FAKE MUSCLE..."

"WHILE ON TOPIC OF PEOPLE NOT STRONGER THAN FAKE MUSCLE..." 

"MOLLY BARNES NOT GET BIG WIN LAST WEEK."

"FOCUS WEAK. GIRL WEAKER."

"FAKE MUSCLE SHOW WORLD THIS, BUT SHADOW OF STRENGTH NO MATCH FOR EDWARD PRIMAL POWER! WOMAN FIND OUT STANDING IN RING WITH EDWARD BIGGER PROBLEM THAN ALL LITTLE DISTRACTIONS OUTSIDE RING!"

"WOMAN TOO FOCUSED ON LIFE OUTSIDE OF RING. WOMAN NEED LEARN THAT IN BATTLE OF LIFE AND DEATH, NOTHING ELSE MATTER BUT SURVIVAL."

"EDWARD SHINY NOT ON LINE IN THIS BATTLE, BUT THAT MAKE IT NO LESS IMPORTANT FOR EDWARD."

"TO SHOW WEAKNESS NOW ONLY SERVE AS INVITATION TO PEOPLE LIKE TRICKY WOMAN WHO SEEK TO WEAKEN TRIBE."

"EDWARD NOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN."

"EDWARD MUST REMAIN STRONG, EVEN AS BODY BREAK."

EDWARD flicks the control stick on his ROCK'N'ROLLER and begins burning rubber and spinning donuts onto the sidewalk.

"WHO WANT SEE WHAT THIS THING DO!?"

EDWARD's Rock'N'Roller blasts down the street and collides with a passing bus, the impact thunderous. Dazed, he finds himself floating amidst clouds, guided by ancient whispers.

The whispers encourage him to harness his primal strength. 

EDWARD embraces the notion that his spirit can transcend his physical limitations.

Awakening in the street, onlookers watch as EDWARD summons his newfound strength. The body cast cracks and splinters, unable to contain his primal power.

With a mighty roar, EDWARD rises triumphant, liberated from the confining cast. His battered body pulses with renewed vigor.

Flexing his muscles, he commands attention.

"EDWARD STRONGEST WARRIOR!"

"EDWARD STAY STRONGEST WARRIOR UNTIL WARRIOR STRONG ENOUGH TO DEFEAT EDWARD ARRIVE."

"TRIPLE THREAT NOT HAVE WARRIOR STRONG ENOUGH FOR TASK."

"EDWARD, STAND BEFORE YOU WITH BROKEN BODY, BUT SPIRIT SO STRONG IT HOLD BAD BODY TOGETHER!"

"NOW STAND HERE, REMINDING ALL THAT EDWARD, NOT BE BESTED EASILY!"

"THINK BREAK EDWARD, BUT EDWARD LAUGH IN FACE OF ADVERSITY!"

"STRONGEST WARRIOR, MASTER OF WILD, AND KEEPER OF TRIBE'S HONOR!"

"ME, EDWARD, FEARLESSLY EMBRACE CHALLENGE OF TWO FOES!"

"TO THOSE WHO DOUBT EDWARD STRENGTH", EDWARD laughs again! "NO ONE IN RING, NO MATTER SIZE OR SKILL, CAN MATCH RAW POWER THAT COURSES THROUGH EDWARD'S VEINS!"

"EDWARD WALKS AMONG LEGENDS, AND ONLY A TRUE LEGEND CAN STAND IN EDWARD WAY!"

"SO, MOLLY BARNES AND BLACK MAN, HEAR ME NOW: YOU FACE MIGHTY FORCE OF EDWARD, STRONGEST WARRIOR!"

"MAY BE INJURED, BUT NOTHING CAN RESTRAIN STRENGTH WITHIN ME!"

"ME FIGHT UNTIL LAST BREATH, DEFEND TRIBE'S HONOR, AND CLAIM VICTORY FOR EDWARD!"

"PREPARE FOR THE BATTLE OF LIVES!"

"MATCH WITH SHADOW OF STRENGTH NOT COMPARE TO MIGHT OF STRONGEST WARRIOR!"

With a final thunderous roar, EDWARD's promo reaches its climax, leaving the gathered audience in awe as he shoved the bus out of the way and collects his Rock'N'Roller.

"YOU BOTH FIND OUT SOON!"

EDWARD's Ape friends appear and the group proudly marches down the street as an ambulance arrives to attend to the bus passengers.