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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare Results
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Weekend Warfare - 06/17/23
Author Message
Liam Desmond Offline
Head of the Department of Video Archives
Management Lv. 2

XWF FanBase:

(Physically attractive male on every level; can seduce you; that disarming smile; those bedroom eyes.)

06-18-2023, 11:17 AM

06 - 17 - 2023



- vs -

Last Man Standing Match

- vs -

Standard Singles

- vs -

Standard Singles


- vs -

Standard Tag Team Title Match
Champs Choice - See bottom of the card for details

- vs -
2 out of 3 Falls Match
In order to win you must secure a win via pinfall and submission

HHL: XWF Universe! Welcome to another edition of Wednesday Night Warfare! Just a few short weeks post-WarGames! And we’re on the road to Leap of Faith!

PIP: Absolutely, Heather. Every XWFer worth their salt has gotta be looking to build momentum for a chance to compete in the Leap of Faith match for a 24/7 briefcase. Those things are legacy-making in the right hands!

HHL: True, Pip! But, as a refresher… WarGames! What an incredible night! What an incredible match! Turaner’s Bobby Bourbon and Noah Jackson defeated Kitty Kat Kaiju handily, seemed to dominate the early-going in the final, but were isolated and eliminated! Wishmaster come back from a 2-to-4 deficit in the first round to reach the finales AND Corey Smith TIES the single-night WarGames elimination record! And, somehow, someway, ‘Notorious’ Ned Kaye’s G00D-B01 won one of the most talent-packed WarGames in the history of the XWF! And its sole survivor wa-

From behind the black curtain, Mark Flynn storms out, smiling, fists clenched!

HHL: Speak of the devil. It’s Mark Flynn.

Resting on his shoulder is Flynn’s X-Treme Title belt.

He spins, showing his back to the camera, showing off his custom ‘GOOD GUY’ bomber jacket…

Finally, he turns around and extends his fist to the camera… Showing off the THREE WarGames rings on his fingers.

The crowd is… surprisingly mixed! Some cheers, some boos.

HHL: Clearly, some of the XWF Universe doesn’t know what to make of Mark Flynn, Pip!

PIP: Accurate, Heather. I think everyone was ready for two things to happen at WarGames. For Mark Flynn to (1) betray Ned Kaye first chance he got… and (2) go back to his rule-bending, technicality-exploiting ways.

HHL: But, Flynn did neither! Given the opportunity by a wrench that Bobby Bourbon tossed under the bottom rope, Flynn opted to compete without the weapon… And won the match! Speaking of WarGames History, Flynn is the first-ever X-Treme champion to enter WarGames with the belt and keep it all night! Truly impressive!

Flynn rolls down the ramp confidently… He nods toward a member of the ring crew, who hands him a microphone. He jogs up the steel steps and into the ring. Looking around at the XWF Universe…

”...Wow.” Flynn grins, lifting the microphone to his face. ”Y’know. Two short months ago, at March Madness. I lost the XWF Universal Title.” Flynn exhales. ”And at forty-two years of age…”

Flynn chuckles. ”Actually, I turned 43 last week… Hard to keep track, anymore.”

“The wrestling critic community all seemed to have the same question… At the same time.”

“Is Mark Flynn’s time at the top over?”

“Is Mark Flynn still RELEVANT in the wrestling industry?”

Flynn spits.

Despite the crowd’s mixed reception earlier, the crowd whole-heartedly boos the idea of Mark Flynn’s retirement.

HHL: Seems parts of the crowd that are pleased with Flynn don’t want him to go!

PIP: And the anti-Flynn section would miss booing him every show!

Flynn chuckles…

“I read those articles. I listened to those comments. I scoured those tweets and those dirtsheets. And I said to myself….”




As he raises his fist… Showing off his WarGames rings once more.


…The crowd is somewhat quiet.

“Oh… uh… For justice!” Flynn adds meekly. Select parts of the crowd politely clap.

“Because now?” Flynn wrings his hands fiendishly. “I’m going to execute on EXACTLY what I promised…” Flynn shows off the X-Treme Title to the camera.

“See, last Warfare? Not only did I beat ol’ RoboGravy in my first X-Treme Title defense… But, I *also* subbed-in for Charlie Nickles to partner with Bobby Bourbon in his tag-match! As a reminder, EVERY MATCH I COMPETE IN IS A TITLE DEFENSE, BECAUSE I CAN BE PINNED AT ANY TIME!!!”

The crowd shifts to light booing. This is some classic Flynn, technicality exploiting.

HHL: Nothing Flynn is saying is false. It’s just skeevy! He barely did ANYTHING in that tag-match!


Flynn holds up a finger on each hand. ”If you do the math… It’s been just over a month since I won this belt… And I’m only TWO DEFENSES… one on Anarchy and one on Warfare away… FROM A 24/7 BRIEFCASE!”

Flynn cackles villainously HEROICALLY as he lifts his belt! “And once I have that? I’m BACK ON TOP! I AIN’T WAITING ELEVEN MONTHS LIKE RAION KIDO DID. I’m taking my RIGHTFUL PLACE back at the MOUNTAINTOP the MOMENT I G-”

Suddenly, the uncertain, mixed crowd is ON THEIR FEET, screaming and hollering!

At the top of the ramp, XWF COO and LEGEND Theo Pryce, looking dapper in his suit and tie, stands at the top of the ramp with a microphone.

Immediately, chants kick off ‘THE-OH! THE-OH! THE-OH!’

HHL: The XWF Universe loves Theo Pryce!

Flynn looks pretty miffed to be getting outshined in this moment… He crosses his arms and mean-mugs up. As Theo lifts his microphone to his face, he smiles.

”First off, Mark. I want to say. I’m deeply proud of you. I know you don’t believe it but it’s true.”

The crowd pops! As if Pryce’s co-signing was what they required to acknowledge Flynn’s achievement! Pryce raises his hand, encouraging the crowd to show Flynn some love.

…Flynn’s eye narrows in suspicion.

”See, Mark. Like I told you at Relentless last year, when you won the Universal Title. I *knew* you could be a champion of HONOR.”

Theo shakes his head.

”I don’t know if you… *exactly* got there while you were *holding* the Uni...” Theo chuckles. The crowd laughs. Flynn frowns, incapable of tolerating being the butt of even the friendliest jibe.

”But!... BUT!” Theo holds up a hand, pleading to be allowed to continue. ”At WarGames? You had an opportunity to… bend the rules, as you’d done in the past. To twist the odds in your favor. And you didn’t.”

The crowd pops once more.

“You won with honor and integrity, like I’ve always said you could. Like I always knew you would. Eventually. And you may not have the Universal title, but…” Theo points at that X-Treme title. “With that belt on your shoulder? I still know… you can be an honorable champion.”

The crowd hoops and hollers.

HHL: I’m unclear, are they cheering Flynn’s potential or are they cheering Theo for being Theo?

PIP: Either way, it’s the least boos a Flynn segment has gotten in his entire career!

…Flynn sneers, as he lifts up the mic to his face.

”...Heheh. That’s what this is all about to you, huh, Theo?”

Theo’s smile starts to fade as Flynn accusatory points at him.

”It’s all about whether YOU approve of me. That’s what it’s ALWAYS BEEN, THEOOOOOOO!”

HHL: Oh dear.

PIP: Flynn may be trying to turn over a new leaf …(maybe). But, clearly, Flynn still hasn’t worked through his issues of paranoia with Theo Pryce!

”See, I tried. I TRIED. To be a good corporate champion. A COMPANY MAN. I brought this company into an Era of RECORD PROFITS™, BAY-BEEEEEEEE!” Flynn’s eye rapidly twitches.

”And STILL… It was NEVER enough for you… WAS IT, THEO?!? Because you always wanted MORE?”

Theo sighs, shaking his head. ”Flynn, I *never* wanted you to become the EVEN-MORE-obnoxious egomaniac you were with the Uni. I wanted you to reach your potential! To be the best you can be! Something I know you’re capable of!”

…Flynn cackles nefariously WHIMSICALLY, as he points at Theo. ”You want me to reach my potential, Pryce? Well, GREAT NEWS, TEDDY BABY! As I was just explaining, I defended my belt TWICE on Warfare… and TWICE at WarGames!!! I’m TWO defenses away from CHECKMATE… and taking back MY PLACE ON THE MOUNTAINTOP™!”

Flynn pumps his fist emphatically.

…As Theo winces with dread, already disliking how this conversation has deviated from his original design…

”That actually brings me to the *second* reason I came out here…

HHL: Second reason?

”Mark, you’re a smart guy. You used your… attorney’s parlor tricks… to trick Kris Von Bonn into surrendering his X-Treme title.”

PIP: Isn’t Flynn’s lawyer just Flynn in a false mustache?

HHL: As Flynn would say, ‘it’s complicated’.

”And I allowed it, Mark. Not because of the trick (which I said would only count going forwards), but because Von Bonn did relinquish the belt to you. Applying the rules as they are, the belt became yours.”

”That said. The rules are the rules. And as management, it’s my and my team’s job to make sure the SPIRIT of the rules are applied.”

Flynn’s steaming. The crowd cheers. Yay, rules!

”While you DID defend your X-Treme title against Micheal Graves and Dolly Waters last Warfare… I’m afraid we *cannot* allow Bourbon’s tag-match to count towards your defense requirements…”

”W-w-what!?!?” Flynn’s furious! He leans over the top rope! ”OUTRAGEOUS! I TAGGED WITH BOBBY BOURBON! THE BELT WAS ON THE LINE!”

…Theo rolls his eyes.

”Flynn, Bobby rolled down to the ring by himself, without his partner. Then, you declared yourself part of the match and sat down at commentary for basically the whole match. You got in the ring three times. I don’t even think you tagged in! It would create ridiculous precedent for every X-Treme champion to just declare what matches they’re part of, to run-through their required defenses. If we allowed that, an X-Treme champ could just declare him-or-herself part of any three matches on a Warfare card…”

…Flynn strokes his chin thoughtfully, like ‘hey, why didn’t I think of that?’

Theo shakes his head.

”As always, Flynn, your solution was… clever. But, we’re not playing the game that way. The rules are the rules. They apply to you just like they apply to everyone else.”

Flynn takes a deep breath.

He counts to three.


Theo is somewhere between shocked and pleasantly surprised. He smiles, ”Fine?”

“FINE.” Flynn barks. ”I PROVED AT WARGAMES I DON’T NEED A SHORTCUT.” He grins, doing some quick math on his fingers… ”That just means I need two Warfare defenses instead of one… I STILL defended the belt TWICE at WarGames! That’s STILL TWO PPV DEFENSES!”

Theo clears his throat.

Flynn leans over the top rope. ”OH, WHAT NOW?!!?”

Theo scratches his head.

”Well, Flynn… As you mentioned… We’ve never had an X-Treme champion defend his belt successfully through a WarGames match. We’ve never had to think about how many defenses it counts for. To your credit, you kicked off an emergency discussion between XWF management on how it should count…”

”And… After much deliberation. Our management team has decided that your WarGames defense… Counts for ONE defense towards the two you need for a 24/7 briefcase.”

Oooooooooooooh! The crowd, while still loving Theo, is VERY TORN on this issue! Theo shrugs, acknowledging that it’s a tough call, but it’s management’s final decision.

HHL: Ooooh, tough call! I can see the argument both ways… Like whether a hot dog is a sandwich or not

PIP: Of course it’s not, you communist. It’s clearly a taco!

Flynn breathes.

And breathes.

And starts huffing and puffing, pacing the ring. Getting red in the face.

Flynn leans over the top rope!




Flynn turns around.

He takes a deep breath…

He… starts favoring the WarGames ring on his finger… Muttering to himself.


Flynn spins around toward Theo! Pointing INTENSELY!

…He sneers, inhaling like a dragon reeling back its neck to spew flames!


HHL: …What?

Flynn’s face wretches like he’s chewing on a particularly tough bit of jerky. Still fighting to get these alien words out.


PIP: …Flynn’s kinda speaking like an alien out here.

HHL: I mean, Flynn’s never spoken like this before! He’s used to claiming there’s a multi-level conspiracy against him whenever *any* decision doesn’t go his way! Must be very unfamiliar to Flynn to accept some things are out of your control!

…The crowd begrudgingly applauds Flynn for acquiescing to Theo’s ruling.

…Theo seems confused… And perhaps, a little suspicious. Is Flynn trying to play him?

If he is, Flynn sure doesn’t look happy about it! When Theo turns around to leave, Flynn starts angrily kicking the bottom rope! Theo turns back around to see what’s going on, and Flynn stops his mini-tantrum, politely waving but still visibly furious!

…Theo shrugs then disappears behind the curtain.

Mark Flynn stews angrily. The gears in his mind whirring, dealing with the conflict of trying to be good *while* manipulating rules… When suddenly!

An unexpected figure emerges from beneath the ring. It's none other than:

"The Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves, clad in his sinister "skull masked" attire which brings back haunting memories from 2017.

[Image: gravy2.jpg]

The crowd erupts with a mix of excitement and discomfort, fully aware of the chaos that is about to unfold.

PIP: "This is a blast from the past that nobody saw coming! The last time we saw Gravy, he was a cyborg, but now, it seems he has somehow reverted back to one of his older looks, which I'll admit, is a little scary for the younger members of our audience."

HHL: "Just a few weeks ago, Bobby Bourbon Bobby-Bombed Micheal Graves right out of his metal padding, exposing the man as nothing more than a fraud! But what I want to know, is WHY is he HERE!?"

As Mark Flynn's attention is consumed by Theo Pryce's revelation, Graves seizes the opportunity to launch a treacherous ambush attack.

He stands behind Flynn, biding his time as the anticipation in the crowd reaches a fever pitch.

Suddenly, Flynn turns around, only to be met with a horrifying sight: the venomous poison mist spewing from Graves's mouth, blinding Flynn and disorienting him.

[Image: tumblr-1e8ff690d0a79a5834550066214a2268-...83-400.gif]

PIP: "The Dark Warrior strikes! Flynn is completely caught off guard. Graves's poison mist has incapacitated him, leaving him vulnerable and defenseless! Micheal Graves is primed to become the NEW X-Treme Champion!"

HHL: "This is despicable!"

With Flynn writhing in agony, Graves delivers a series of devastating kicks to the head. The crowd's boos rain down upon Graves as he effortlessly executes Grave Consequences, planting Flynn into the canvas with sheer force.

PIP: "And there it is! Grave Consequences, the signature move of darkness itself! Flynn is left broken and defeated at the hands of the remorseless Micheal Graves."

HHL: "This is sickening to watch! Graves displaying his utter contempt for the XWF and its fans. Someone needs to put an end to this madness!"

To add insult to injury, Graves snatches the X-Treme Championship, showcasing his dominance over Mark Flynn. As the crowd's boos intensify, he provocatively licks the silver faceplate, further fueling their disdain.

PIP: "Well, Micheal Graves is once again asserting his brand of dominance over the XWF. Love him or hate him, you can't deny his impact! Now all he needs to do to make this official, is pin Mark Flynn!"

HHL: "This is a travesty! Graves has no respect for the sport, the championship, or the XWF Universe. We need justice, and we need it now!"

Graves paces around Mark Flynn, seething with anger, but making no effort to finish this. Then, just as the atmosphere reaches its peak, an explosion of green smoke engulfs the ring, leaving everyone bewildered. When the smoke dissipates, both Graves and the X-Treme Championship have vanished, leaving behind a shocked and angered audience.

PIP: "Unbelievable! Graves escapes into thin air, leaving us with more questions than answers. Why did he take the title without pinning Mark Flynn? What does this all mean for the XWF? What's next for Mark Flynn?"

HHL: "The XWF is in turmoil! Micheal Graves has unleashed mayhem and disappeared with one of our belts, but we must not let him prevail!"

PIP: "But Heather, think about the drama and intrigue that Graves's return has injected into the XWF! It's moments like these that captivate the audience and keep them coming back for more. The return of Micheal Graves might just be, "best for business!"

HHL: "PIP, I understand the allure of drama and intrigue, but we have to consider the bigger picture here. The XWF has worked tirelessly to regain its reputation, secure sponsors, and foster positive relationships with other companies. We can't let a potentially volatile Graves jeopardize all that progress, and Mark Flynn can't allow him to just walk in and steal the Xtreme Championship!"

PIP: "Come on, Heather! Entertainment is the lifeblood of professional wrestling. Graves's return has everyone buzzing, and that's exactly what the XWF needs. The fans don't want another boring Raion Kido or Centurion, they want excitement, they want unpredictability, and Graves delivers just that. He might just be the shot in the arm that takes us to the next level!"

HHL: "More like a shot to the head that takes us straight to Hell!"


A figure is seen walking out from the back wearing a black hooded sweatshirt on. The hood was over his head so he couldnt be seen, and his head was looking down.

He stood in a stance. And as a white light appeared on his front, he unzipped his sweatshirt and showed the front of the t-shirt:

[Image: 4235893084%20Front.jpg]

As it continued he turned around and took off his hooded sweatshirt and revealed the back of the t-shirt which read:

[Image: 4235893084%20Back.jpg]

He turned back around and stood in a pose as the white light bathed on him to reveal: MASTERMIND

He then smirks as he walks all the way to the ring, with the Misfits Manager Antony The Jerk, walking not far behind.


The arena flashes white as spotlights from around the venue converge at the entrance room as "You Know My Name" begins playing bombastically. As the lyrics start, Ned Kaye stands at the point where the spotlights merge to thunderous applause. He lifts his fist up in the air, awaiting the crowd to do the same before rushing down to the ring, serenaded by blue hues that light up the ramp following his steps. The lights above the stadium darken in their blue color as Ned gets closer to the ring, little bits of ember adorning the X-Tron and ramp, orange breaking up the blue. He leaps over the ropes into the ring before looking down, breathing the moment in, and pointing out at the crowd, ready to fight just with their energy alone. Jumping a bit from the adrenaline, he makes his way to his corner as he prepares for the bell.

- vs -
Last Man Standing Match


The match opens up with the two meeting in the center and Kaye extends his fist for a wary fist bump which is reciprocated by Mastermind and the pair circle one another before getting into a collar and elbow tie-up.

PIP: UGH! Can we have ONE Mastermind match that doesn't start with a collar and elbow!?

HHL: It's all fundamentals, Pip, can't knock the classics.

PIP: Sure, can't wait for the side takedown into a rest hold.

Mastermind manages to gain the upper hand, tripping Kaye forcing him into a seated position and locking in a headlock.

PIP: There it is!

HHL: Okay master of the play-by-play, what's gonna happen next?

PIP: Kaye's gonna stand and hit a jawbreaker and kick Mastermind into the corner for some flippy shit.

Ned Kaye forces himself up before falling back down and rocking Mastermind with a jawbreaker! Mastermind stumbles back as Kaye rolls to his feet and hits the ropes; a lariat is ducked by Mastermind who turns as Kaye rebounds only to get sent across the ring with a beautiful exploding dropkick and MM hits the corner hard! Mastermind reels in the corner as Kaye runs in and hops onto the second rope beside Mastermind before leaping onto him and hitting The Trooper's Tribute!

PIP: Goddamn, I'm Nostradamus.

HHL: Okay, that was impressive, both you and Kaye.

PIP: ... Next my father calls and tells me he's proud of me...

No call from the announce table which makes things awkward. Oh well, look at this match! Kaye allows Mastermind to catch his breath as the ref only reaches a 3 count before Mastermind is back to his feet. MM cracks his neck and throws a right which gets blocked and Kaye gets some space with a spinning heel kick into MM's sternum. Kaye tries to follow up as Mastermind reels with a legdrop bulldog but Mastermind manages to reverse it into backbreaker!

Kaye rolls on the canvas holding his spine as MM plucks Kaye to his feet with a handful of hair and whips him into the ropes catching him on the rebound and locking in!


Mastermind's trademark sleeper hold is in tight as Ned struggles, flailing his limbs.

PIP: Dangerous spot for Kaye here!

Suddenly, Kris "The Hammer" Von Bonn begins to run down the ramp!

HHL: And here comes one of Mastermind's cronies!

PIP: Some may remember Kris demanding a non-title match against Kaye at some time in the future after knocking him out with a hammer shot, and it looks like Kris is here add hammer to injury.

HHL: ... Hammer to injury?

PIP: Shut up, I'm sad I can't see the future.

From halfway down the ramp, Mastermind forces Ned to face Von Bonn still in the sleeper hold as Kris, from a good distance launches his hammer!


As Kaye kicks the inside of MM's leg out and ducks!

PIP: OH SHIT! Mastermind got fucked beamed by that hammer!

Mastermind drops to the mat, seemingly out cold as Kris looks worried. Kaye catches his breath, the ref beginning the 10 count as Kris sneers and makes his way to the ring.


Kaye stands back to his feet.


And rushes the ropes!


Kris gets close to the apron.


But Kaye launches himself over the top rope!






HHL: That's a good name, Ned should keep that.


Kaye gets up holding his ribs as Kris reels on the ground, the Nedaphiles popping huge for Kaye dusting off a classic with a new twist like he just brought back Crystal Pepsi. Kaye looks to the inside as Mastermind begins to stir and force himself up.


AND Mastermind SOMEHOW gets up!

But not looking good as a trickle of blood flows down his forehead.

Kaye hops onto the apron and positions himself!


Kaye looks for his Slingshot Hurricanrana and gets his legs onto Mastermind's shoulders!





Kaye is wrapped into the best Boston Crab in the biz as Kaye screams in pain! Kaye slams a fist onto the mat and reaches for the ropes to no avail, his fingertips only grabbing ahold of one of Mastermind's t-shirts.

Mastermind looks out of it as he keeps the submission locked in seemingly purely out of muscle memory as Kaye tries to get out.

Ned pushes his upper body up with heavy strain and manages to throw his legs down out of MM's hook and Mastermind tumbles into the ropes and bounces back as Kaye is ready and rolls him up a submission of his own!

PIP: Kaye with an STF!?

HHL: Using Mastermind's t-shirt to choke him out! Great ingenuity on display here.

Mastermind struggles in the hold and taps furiously but that isn't working for this type of match; Kaye pulls back on the shirt as Mastermind unleashes a muffled scream!

Kaye keeps the hold locked in as best he can but due to a lack of knowledge on the move against a submission expert like Mastermind, MM finds an opening and takes advantage, kicking a leg out and pushing Kaye's arms up to get out as he rolls Kaye over onto his back and MM delivers a nasty forearm into Kaye's head; Kaye manages to get both his feet against MM's gut and pushes him away before kipping up and meeting Mastermind again, the two take stock for a moment sizing one another up as the crowd hype them up.

Ned stalks the weary Mastermind, looking to knock his opponent out for good and ending the match right there. He steps forward ready to grab onto his opponent-

"The Kings Affirmation" by Iniko blasts through the speakers, sending the stadium into a momentary darkness as a white light shines onto the top of the platform. It illuminates the grinning face of Isaiah "The Kingslayer", hand pointed out into a gun right at Ned Kaye.

PIP: It's one forth of the Wargames champions, Isaiah King!

HHL: I hear he goes by Kingslayer now... BUT WHAT in the blue hell is he doing out here? Wargames was two weeks ago!

PIP: Not sure he has teamwork in mind today...

Ned is stunned, turning to face his Wargames team mate. He walks towards the ropes and points at Isaiah, gesturing with annoyance and yelling out at him.

What're you doing out here Isaiah!

Isaiah simply smirks, gesturing to Ned to look behind him. Mastermind is fully on his feet, running towards Kaye with a bulldog on his mind. Ned whips around with some superhuman speed and tries to knock him out with a lariat!



HHL: He gonna feel that in the morning.

PIP: Who would've thought the honorable Ned Kaye would ever!

Almost as if on cue, Ned drops to his knees to check on the referee, checking for a pulse first before trying to wake up the feeble man. Mastermind on the other hand took the momentum to bounce through the ropes and is dashing back to Ned.


Mastermind drops wonderfully into a crouch and spears the kneeling Ned Kaye right into the mat, knocking the wind right out of him. The crowd erupts into OOOHs and BOOOs as Mastermind quickly raises to his feet and looks around desperately - it was his chance!

Isaiah's laugh echoes down the ramp, as he walks towards the ring with a saunter. His eyes burn with intensity. In his left hand, he drags a steel chair across the floor with him.

PIP: What in the world is he trying to do here? He's laughing his ass off at Ned's expense.

Mastermind looks cautiously as Isaiah approaches the ring, but relaxes a little as he doesn't enter it. Isaiah instead props himself on the ring apron, hanging across the ropes and offers Mastermind the chair.

The man is cautious, before glancing at Ned once and accepting the chair. It was a last man standing match after all.

HHL: He's going to HELP??

Isaiah resists. Mastermind tries to pull the chair out of Isaiah's hand but Isaiah doesn't let go. Mastermind tries to yank hard one last time, before Isaiah lets go and causes him to stumble all the way back to a waiting Ned Kaye who...!!!!!

Doesn't strike.

[blue]Not like this.

Ned pushes Mastermind off him, and sticks both hands up, beckoning Mastermind to come after him. Isaiah chuckles even louder at this, and hops off the apron just as the referee begins to stir to his feet. The two competitors are exhausted as is, and itching to wrap up the match.

Mastermind lets out a gutteral yell, chucking the chair aside and charges towards Ned who drops athletically and takes the man down with a drop toe hold. Mastermind slams into the mat just as Kaye gets back on his feet and makes it towards the ropes - he hesitates slightly as he realises Isaiah is still lingering around the ring, high-fiving the odd fan. As he dashes back towards Mastermind he drops an elbow into the back of his head. He runs through to the nearest turnbuckle and is poised.

Mastermind gets to his feet, and Ned leaps into the air!


The sound of head slamming into metal echoes through the stadium! Isaiah had slid A WRENCH  under Mastermind's head just before it came crashing into the mat. Ned is furious as he recovers and begins to point aggressively at Isaiah.

HHL: Hey doesn't that wretched wrench look familiar??

PIP: This maniac! That's the wrench Mark Flynn flung aside at WARGAMES! The weapon that'd have ended WARGAMES nice and early!

The referee begins to count!


Mastermind lies motionless.


Ned is fuming, picking up the wrench he waves it at Isaiah begging the man to get into his ring and face retribution. Isaiah shrugs.



"Fuck your hero complex."



The Kingslayer turns his back on Ned and walks up the ramp, mimicking the referees count with his own fingers and laughing the entire way. Ned slumps to the mat. Mastermind is bleeding onto the mat.



Ned tries one more feeble attempt to poke at Mastermind, who remains unconscious. Isaiah looks back at Ned just once more as the referee reaches...



Kaye stares daggers at King as he leaves, the ref lifts Kaye's arm up into the air but Ned isn't feeling it, taking his arm back down as he leaves the ring dejected, rubbing his palm down his face as his theme plays.

HHL: Kaye getting the win, but not the way he wanted.

PIP: Soppy bitch needs to cheer up and take a win. Also, is Von Bonn dead? Or did he leave?

HHL: Who cares? All I need to say is what an exciting match! Ned Kaye really showed up here tonight!

PIP: God, you make me want to puke Heather. Ned came and did his job that's it, well King did his job for him.

HHL: Ned did the majority though, I may be a late-blooming Nedaphile, Pip!

Pip makes a vomiting noise.

HHL: Oh, what’s this? Pip! It looks like we have a video of Thunder Knuckles.

PIP: I liked him better before he left. What happened to that Bastard? He used to be violent, ruthless, some would even say Relentless!

HHL: Oh, hush your butt, Pip. I like that Thunder Knuckles is trying to be a better person. It shows growth.


Thunder Knuckles is seen strutting down a hospital hallway like he just got paid. He turns the corner and into Room 327, Lilabeth's room. There she is hooked up to a bunch of machines.

Hey, kid. Did you catch War Games?

Lilabeth watched War Games and wasn't happy with what TK had done, she answers sheepishly to avoid having to talk to him.


How's the cancer, kid?

Looking around the hospital room, she seems unhappy, not her normal self. Her expression is grim and her body language is closed off. Still no smile on her face and she responds unenthusiastically.

I'm in the hospital. So... No.

Damn, kid, looks like I'm rubbing off on ya.

TK reaches over and messes up Lilabeth's hair.

I hope not.

TK looks shocked for a second as Lilabeth messes with her hair, as if to fix it from what TK had done. TK seems worried for the child.

What's wrong, kid? Why are you acting like a little shit, all of a sudden?

Lilabeth growls, her face flushed with anger.

I can't believe you did that, Thunder Knuckles!

Did what? Shit...

He replied with a harshness he'd never used against her before.

You sold out your War Games team!

Oh, bullshit! My team was gone! I was the last person left! What did you want me to do? Move on like Corey, by himself, against Bourbon and Noah? Please, that's fucking suicide. I'd much rather watch Corey fail from the back, thanks.

You're supposed to stay in there and fight.

Listen, kid, sometimes staying and fighting is the smartest damn thing to do. Have you ever heard of "Live to fight another day?" Pretty easy fucking concept, know what I mean?

Some of us can't-

Lilabeth mockingly says,

live to fight another day.

TK isn't making a correlation between what Lilabeth is saying and how she's feeling. TK begins to reach out to Lilabeth.

Listen, kid-

Lilabeth jerks away.

No! I don't want to see you right now. Go away.

Fine by me kid.

TK throws up his hands.

One less fucking obligation I have to attend to.

TK turns and starts walking out of the room. He knows the XWF assigned him a Make-A-Wish kid so that TK wouldn't cause any problems. Similar to the way they assigned Ms. Tote to Bobby Bourbon. If he loses this gig Vinnie and Theo will be pissed. However, he's trying to play it off cool, as if this little kid needs him. What TK wasn't expecting though is that Lilabeth was standing her ground, not caring that he walked out the door. The camera follows TK out of the hospital room and back into the hallway.

What a little shit, man. Like, who the fuck wouldn't take the money?

TK's phone dings to alert him to the fact that he has a voicemail. Not caring about his surrounding, he pulls out his phone and plays the message over the speaker.

Dude?! What the fuck? Did you really sell out your War Games team to fucking COREY!? COREY!? Man... I don't even want to talk to you right now.

The voicemail ends and TK puts his phone back into his pocket. Grumbling to himself before the feed cuts you hear.

Fuck you too, Charlie. What the fuck?

The video ends and we head back to Pip and Heather.

PIP: What a spoiled little brat!

HHL: What?! She sticking up for what’s right!

PIP: Give it a rest Heather.

HHL: Let’s head back to the action up next Lacklin, Bourbon, LIVE!


The lights in the arena go deep blue as smoke fills the air. Pink and silver laser lights cut through the smoke and it looks fucking rad.

As La Gazza Ladra blares throughout the arena, slowly walking out onto the entrance ramp is Bobby Bourbon. He looks out at the crowd in the arena, cold and stoic, surveying his surroundings. He stops and raises his fists at 45 degree angles, and continues his deliberate plod towards the ring. Bobby climbs the steps, then climbs the nearest ring post half way and raises his fists at 45 degree angles. The lights go back to normal and the music stops.


The lights in the building go down and a spotlight shines on the ring, where we see Tig O’Bitties. But the XWF ring announcer has changed out of her normal uniform of a spaghetti strap so thin that her monstrous bust looks like two watermelons being held up by Dollar Store floss, because the XWF is STILL run by 13-year-olds, and into a far more appropriate dress of black and red which features fully shoulders and cloth covering her from heel to her neck.

TIG: Everyone, please stand for the arrival of the MOST Decorated Wrestler in XWF History.

About half the crowd stands as-




A red spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp as a metal version of the Moonlight Sonata plays. Through the curtain walks a woman, dressed like she’s about to ride through a New England town in 1913, carrying a large plaque.

TIG: She has been awarded the Newcomer of the Year in 2019…

Another woman carrying a plaque walks out.

TIG: …she has been recognized as having THE best debut promotional video ever…

A third woman with a plaque joins them.

TIG: …she has the record for the FASTEST victory in the XWF, wherein she made Atara Raven, of the House of Themis, tap out in five seconds…

A fourth woman with a heavy plaque.

TIG: …she has the BEST smile, with an estimated worth of being in the billions…

Yet ANOTHER woman walks out.

TIG: …and, as seen at some point in the future due to the reality-bending tape delay schedule of Anarchy, the undisputed greatest return in that show’s history…

Sarah calmly walks out onto the ramp and stops, taking the time to look at the crowd. As the guitars play, she slowly walks down the ramp, careful to avoid the touch of any fans, as the women carrying the plaques follow in her wake.

TIG: Standing at the perfect height of 5 feet and 2 inches, and weighing in tonight at a buff and squat 145 pounds-

Upon approaching the ring, the woman quickly arrange themselves in front of her, dropping to all fours, into that of a human staircase, for Sarah to ascend.

TIG: -and fighting simultaneously out of both the Hills of Hollywood and the Blueberry Fields of Maine-

Sarah slips through the ropes as two of the women hurriedly open them for her.

TIG: -she has an overall XWF record of 43 wins, 10 losses, and 2 draws-

Sarah makes her way to a corner, leaning her back into it.

TIG: -she has won the Universal Championship…the Tag Team Championship…the Anarchy Championship…the Leap of Faith Rafter Match…and survived War Games…

Sarah pushes herself up the turnbuckle until she sits atop the highest pad, a queen on her throne.

TIG: …she is the Blood Princess…the Firestarter…both the Poshest of Goths AND the Gothest of Poshes…the Matron of Pigeons…Ilhar de La'el...YOUR Rule 63 Thanos……SARAHHHHHHHHH

Tig takes a big breath as Sarah looks around at the crowd with a small smirk.

AKA: Resting Sar Face.


Sarah gives Tig a small nod of approval before slowly raising one fist into the air as the crowd splits in cheers and jeers.

- vs -
Standard Singles

The ref calls for the bell and most recent iteration of the Bourbon/Lacklan rivalry is underway.

Unphased by Bourbon’s chest thumping, and taunting as he stomps to the center of the ring, Lacklan meets him head on with a dazzling barrage of open palm strikes. Bourbon eats several of the strikes before powering  through, by parrying a left handed strike with a chop to Lacklan’s forearm.

The move knocks Lacklan off balance and she stumbles sideways. Bourbon immediately grapples her arm and wrenches it over into a hammerlock. But Lacklan counters with a roll, and sweeps at Bobby’s legs, but now it’s Bourbon who counters, still holding the wrenched arm he leaps over Lacklan’s legs, rolls and tackles her down into her back.

Bourbon mounts Lacklan, grabbing her by the ears as she tries throwing more strikes at his face, and begins slamming the back of her head into the canvas, repeatedly. With her brain scrambling like eggs in a pan, Lacklan desperately tries wrapping around Bobby with a scissor lock, but his frame is too wide for her to get an advantage at this angle. Bobby comes falling down toward her now with a massive forearm, but somehow she’s able to avoid it. A knee catches Bobby in the gut, creating a moment of separation, but the moment isn’t long enough for Lacklan to capitalize, as Bobby has already regained his position, and powers his smaller foe from the mat.

HHL: it’s been all Bobby Bourbon here in the early going

PC: You heard it in his voice during the promo cycle, Heather. Bobby is ready to crush idea of Sarah Lacklan right before our very eyes

HHL: Well, Pip, if Sarah doesn’t turn things around, more than the idea of her will be crushed here tonight

PC: Was that supposed to be clever or something?

HHL: I don’t know Pip, I’m struggling tonight

PC: And so is Bobby Bourbon… struggling not to commit homicide out in the ring tonight

As quickly as Bobby lifts Sarah to her feet, he plants her back on the canvas with an authoritative clothesline that leaves the former Universal Champion struggling to breathe. Bobby chuckles, having barely broken a sweat and gestures to the audience, signifying an early end to this matchup. Sarah has rolled into all fours and is trying, desperately, to crawl away from her rival, but Bobby yanks her up by her waistband and after an ugly looking hammerblow to the top of her skull, he puts her in position for the Bobbybomb!

Bobby swings Lacklan’s legs up on his shoulders, but immediately, Lacklan is pounding on Bobby’s forehead causing the big man to stumble around the ring as he tries gathering to put her away. But before he realizes what’s happened, Lacklan has already countered the move, and pulls Bobby’s face onto her knee as she intentionally drops herself to the mat.

HHL: and just like Lacklan said, she doesn’t have to Kickout of the Bobbybomb, she only has to counter it!

PC: Well, she better be counting her lucky stars right there Heather, because she nearly found herself on the receiving end of one of the XWFs most devastating finishing maneuvers

Bobby is recouping from the counter rather quickly, but Lacklan is offering no quarter, she already has his neck locked into a scissor hold. Only there’s little impact. Bobby looks like a man possessed. Screaming as he pries her thick, muscular thighs open and lifts her from the mat again.

Alabama slam!

And another Alabama Slam!

Third time the charm!

The trio of Alabama slams has Lacklan completely vulnerable. Bobby approached her again, and again gestures for the Bobbybomb finish, he reaches down to lift her, ONLY LACKLAN COUNTERS AGAIN!

She grabs Bobby’s arm and pulls him to the mat, locking in an incredibly painful arm bar! Bobby holders out in pain, as Sarah is now not only working his arm, but his fingers too, first pulling up the index and bending it back.

The ref is in Bourbon’s face, asking if he submits, but he refuses, and starts dragging with his free arm toward the ropes. He reaches out, but he’s just inches too short. Bobby is pulling up, straining with all of his might to break the hold, but Lacklan is about to tear his arm from the socket…

But Bobby doesn’t care!

There’s a horrible sounding tear, and pop, and Bourbon roared out in agony, powering free and forcing his arm away from Lacklan. Her eyes are wide and weary. She strikes Bobby’s damaged arm with a sickening kick which leaves the big man falling into the ropes. He’s rehung at his bad arm, but Lacklan is already going for it, and does an arm ringer snap slam, planting Bourbon on the mat.

Lacklan begins walking around Bobby, stomping his joints with her trademark strikes, and spending extra time in his bad arm before setting up to lock in another arm bar. But in desperation Bourbon scrambles away, knowing he’ll be screwed if she locks in the submission hold again.

He gets up to his feet, but Lacklan has his arm again… she’s wrenching it around, setting up for her trademark arm breaker!

HHL: talk about countering the Bobbybomb, Pip! What better way to counter the move than to make sure Bobby can’t even execute it!

She wrenches the arm around again,  pulls Bobby’s arm over her shoulder…


Bobby used his good arm and curls in front of Lacklan with his spinning, leaping uppercut!

Lacklan is down!

But so is Bobby!

Bobby is up to his knees, he looks at his dangling arm that’s been wrench from its socket and… the audience groans… pops it back in place. He grits his face through the pain and limps toward Lacklan.

He has her in position!

He struggles… but he lifts her!


Is countered again!

A falling triangle lock!

Bobby is full stop screaming now, as that damaged arm he just popped back in place is about to come undone again. He’s in a full state of panic, as adrenaline takes over. He lifts Lacklan back up, as she tensions locked into the triangle, and the two fall backward… into the ref!

The ref falls out of the ring!

Lacklan release the hold and lands on her feet

Supergirl Punch!

Lacklan covers!




The ref isn’t counting!

Sarah breaks the pinfal, and stands to see what’s happened to the ref. She notices him outside of the ring. She steps through the ropes to go assist the ref, but she’s stopped!

Bobby has a handful of her hair, smirking at her.




Bobby is blinded! But he still has Lacklan on his shoulders!


He covers!




Winner - Bobby Bourbon

HHL: Bobby Bourbon picks up a huge victory here over one of the XWF's very best in Sarah Lacklan.

The camera cuts backstage, where we see Steve Sayors standing with a revitalized Big D.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm here with Big D, who made his shocking return at War Games in a short-lived effort to assist Sarah Lacklan's team, where his time was cut short thanks to an early elimination from opposing team leader, Angie Vaughn............"

Steve's words seem to cut D down a size, causing him to put his hands on his hips and shake his head as the interviewer continues.

"..........not exactly the start you were hoping for, huh?"

"No, Steve, it wasn't; and thanks for reminding me........ the fact is, the roads I travel tend to be the bumpiest, and there's a reason for that. I've always aimed high, sometimes TOO high, and that'll never change. I was in what was easily the most star studded War Games match and, not only did I hold me own, I actually got an elimination! All things considered, I'd say I did pretty good."

"That sure is an interesting way to look at it.......... anyway, I think what we all want to know is: what's next for Big D?"

"What's next? God, Steve what even CAN be next?! Former Television Champion. Former Xtreme Champion. I even brought the XWF World Championship back!"

A skeptical Sayors raises an eyebrow.

"You mean after you swindled your way into being co-GM?"

"Exactly! Thanks Steve! Add Savage General Manager to the list. Other than the Universal Championship, what else is there for me to do?!"

"Are you saying you have your sights set on the Universal Title?"

Big D looks into the camera with a crooked smile.

"All I'm saying is................... keep your eyes peeled, 'cause you'll never know where I'll be, or what I'll do! And that ain't no story, it's the Cold Big D Truth!"

Big D pats Steve on the shoulder before walking out of sight as the scene cuts away.


The arena lights turn gold as the intro of “Soldier Dream” by ROOT FIVE hits the PA.

ANNOUNCER: “And now, standing tall at 6'0" and weighing in at 227 lbs., from Osaka, Japan, “The Lion”... RAIOOOOOOOOOOON… KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Raion Kido appears on stage, letting out a lion’s roar.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Mezasu kiboo no iro wa
Kedakai hodo utsukushii…”

Raion spreads his arms and breaks into a bird run towards the ring, slapping the fans’ hands along the way. He slides into the ring on his belly and springs into his feet.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Tsubasa wa ten wo kakeru
Erabareta moushigo no you niiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

Facing the camera, Raion throws a one-two punch forward, his final pose as the music dies down.


The stadium falls into silence as a spotlight flashes onto the top of the stage, revealing the silhouette of Isaiah King, head bowed and wearing what looks like a leather jacket open at the front. As the base hits the speakers, he raises his head and takes a big breath. He slowly raises his fist into the air and his adoring fans scream in support. His mouth curls into a smile as he starts walking down towards the ring.

Introducing YOUR "Heir Apparent", Isaiah KIIIIIIIIINNNGGG!

He walks up to a fan wearing his merch, pressing his forehead up to his before continuing his way to the ring. Sliding under the bottom rope, he raises both hands to his side like a cross, palms open and challenging his opponent.

- vs -
Standard Singles

HHL: Folks, it’s already been an incredible show. And our second half is filled to the brim with talent. Each one could be a main event any other night!

PIP: Can’t argue you with you there, Heather. It’s not every night that a match featuring the Uni champ goes on third-to-last. Yet, here we are.

HHL: And this one might just steal the show!

The stadium falls into silent as a spotlight flashes onto the top of the stage, revealing the silhouette of Isaiah King, head bowed and wearing what looks like a leather jacket open at the front. As the base hits the speakers, he raises his head and takes a big breath. He slowly raises his fist into the air and his adoring fans scream in support. His mouth curls into a smile as he starts walking down towards the ring.

Introducing YOUR "Heir Apparent", Isaiah KIIIIIIIIINNNGGG!

HHL: Two-time television champion, Isaiah King! Member of the 2023 Championship WarGames Team, G00D-B01!

PIP: Not just a member, Heather! A key weapon of the squad! He scored a tide-turning elimination over a very game Jay Omega, and if it weren’t for the devastating submission work of Lady-King Sidney Grey, Isaiah might have gone onto the finals and his team could have won by an even more dominant margin!

HHL: A star-making performance, indeed, Pip. But, tonight, King might be facing the biggest challenge of his young career. While the title is not on the line, a win tonight would move Isaiah into top star consideration!

King walks up to a fan wearing his merch, pressing his forehead up to his before continuing his way to the ring. Sliding under the bottom rope, he raises both hands to his side like a cross, palms open and challenging his opponent.

HHL: Speaking of young careers…

The arena lights turn gold as the intro of “Soldier Dream” by ROOT FIVE hits the PA.

PIP: Here we go!

ANNOUNCER: “And now, standing tall at 6'0" and weighing in at 227 lbs., from Osaka, Japan, “The Lion”... RAIOOOOOOOOOOON… KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

Raion Kido appears on stage, letting out a lion’s roar.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Mezasu kiboo no iro wa
Kedakai hodo utsukushii…”

HHL: Raion Kido! One of only a handful of men to become a TWO-TIME XWF Universal Champion!

PIP: And you have to imagine Raion Kido, last years’ WarGames runner-up, would have had another incredible run to the finals, if it weren’t for a literal snake bite taking him out of the running.

HHL: However, despite an early snake-related exit from WarGames, tonight is Kido’s first singles match since winning the Universal title from Sidney Grey. Can he start his reign off with a strong victory over a very viable opponent in Isaiah King? We’re about to find out!

Raion spreads his arms and breaks into a bird run towards the ring, slapping the fans’ hands along the way. He slides into the ring on his belly and springs into his feet.

“Saint Seiyaaa! (Seiyaaa!)
Tsubasa wa ten wo kakeru
Erabareta moushigo no you niiiiiiiiiiiiiii!”

Facing the camera, Raion throws a one-two punch forward, his final pose as the music dies down.

The official steps between the two competitors. Kido nods solemnly. King is laser-focused, staring his opponent dead in the eye.

The official signals to the timekeeper! And the bell rings!

The moment the bell rings, King leaps into action with a running baseball slide to Kido’s ankle!

Kido, surprised by the ambush, is left flat-footed, and drops to the mat on his face!

HHL: What an opening attack by King! The hunter attempting to cripple his prey, trying to limit his lightning-fast quickness!

King, not letting up for a moment, grabs Kido by the hair, dragging him to his feet. Kido hops on own foot, as King launces a european uppercut to the throat! Kido takes it on the chin, driven backwards toward the corner! King delivers a second! A third! Kido is looking wose for wear here!

PIP: Wounded and cornered! Dangerous spot for Kido to be in! King doesn’t let up when he has his prey in his scope!

King back-pedals to the center of the ring… Then sprints forward, charging towards Kido in the corner!

…But, Kido springs out of the corner, spinning into…

A DISCUS CLOTHESLINE RIGHT ACROSS KING’S THROAT! King does a full 180 in the air, landing flat on his face!

HHL: Holy cow, that was almost a beheading! Never count out, Kido!

King tries to scramble to his feet… And eats a dropkick to the face!

King springs up once and more… And Kido catches him with another dropkick!

King one more time tries to spring back… But his legs fail him! He falls to one knee…

Kido takes a few steps backward… Then runs!

SHOTGUN DROPKICK! King is launched like a slingshot, through the middle ropes and to the floor outside!

Kido raises his arms to the crowd, who chant his name! Meanwhile, outside the ring, King slams his fist angrily on the edge of the ring, glowering at Kido.

HHL: King is NOT happy about that! He is hyper-competitve, and he hates any situation where he’s not the best in the ring.

PIP: Well, he better get his head back in the game if he doesn’t want to keep getting kicked onto his back!

You can see in King’s face, he’s tempted to rush back in the ring, starting to roll under the bottom rope… Kido steps forward, another dropkick ready to go…

But King keeps his temper… He retreats a few steps, then he walks up the steps and onto the apron.

PIP: Wise choice by King here, slowing things down a little bit. Working to take back control of the tempo of the match…

King ducks between the ropes and steps back inside… Kido waits patiently (wouldn’t be very heroic to attack a man entering the ring).

King beckons Kido forward. Kido looks to oblige with collar-and-elbow tie-up…

But King launches a cross-kick… INTO KIDO’S ARM! Kido winces with pain… He drops to one knee!

HHL: That’s the arm that the snake bit less than two weeks ago! Poor form by Isaiah King kicking Kido while he’s still recovering from injury!

PIP: Poor like a fox! Kido got in the ring with that arm, King is allowed to attack it! He’d be dumb handicapping himself by not taking advantage of Kido’s weakness!

Kido’s arm drops to his side, looking numb as King scrambles forward… SLINGBLADE!

King scrambles into a cover! The official drops to count…

HHL: Possible upset here!



THR-NO! Kido forces his good shoulder off the ground!

King stands up and STOMPS Kido right on his injured arm! Kido rolls his side, trying to block further arm attacks… King kicks him in the stomach!

PIP: Every attack in King’s arsenal is designed to weaken his opponent! To sap their will to keep fighting!

HHL: But if there’s one guy who will never stop fighting no matter what… It’s Raion Kido!

King drags Kido up to his feet… He locks him in a side-headlock… Looking for a running bulldog…

King runs!

But Kido pushes him forward, slipping out of King’s grip! King puts on the brakes, spinning around…


King is momentarily stunned… Just long enough for Kido to tuck his arm around King’s throat with his good arm… URANAGE SLAM!

HHL: Wow! Despite fighting hurt, incredible hangtime on that slam from Kido!

King’s whole body seems to ragdoll from that slam… Kido crawls into a cover…

The official drops to count!




HHL: Oooooh, it’s possible if Kido could’ve hooked the leg with both arms, he could’ve kept that pin and gotten the three…

Kido and King both slowly stagger to their feet…

King launces a European uppercut to Kido’s throat! Kido backs up a foot… but keeps his stance!

Kido launces a siiiiiiiiiiickening chop to King’s chest! King’s feet stagger… BUT He remains standing!

King spins… SPINNING BACKFIST across Kido’s face! Kido back-pedals… Looking like he might drop…

NO! He’s still up! The crowd cheers

King is sick of this strong-style bullshit… He smacks his chest, demanding the best strike Kido has!

Kido winds back his arm… delivering a CHOOOOOOOOOOP!

HHL: Ooooh, that sounded like a gunshot…

King’s face contorts in pain…


He drops to one knee! The chop was too much…

The crowd cheers as Kido raises his arm… He’s signalling for the Lightning Punch…

HHL: King is in no-man’s land! This might be it!

King tries to get back up to his feet, but his legs won’t cooperate with him…

Kido takes a step back, winding up… Aiming straight for King’s heart…


King sidesteps… AND DEADARMS Kido with a knuckle punch in his snakebitten arm!

HHL: Another villainous blow to the injured arm by Isaiah King!

PIP: As opposed to Kido, who was about to *heroically* punch him in the HEART? That could’ve killed King!

Kido drops to one knee, overcome by pain… And King drops to his back! UPPERCUT!

HHL: King calls that the Blade Sharpener!

Kido drops to his back from that potential knockout blow…

King hooks the leg! The official counts…



THRE-NOOOOOOOOO! Kido kicks out!

The crowd pops impressed by Kido’s resolved… As King snorts, furious that his prey isn’t defeated yet…

King stands and drags his thumb across his throat, signalling the killing blow.

Kido staggers up to his knees, looking very depleted…

King runs forward, looking for the Guillotine of Destruction…

King leaps! He wraps his arms around Kido’s head!

His legs around Kido’s torso!

He slings his body weight backwards!

BUT KIDO STAYS UP! ON HIS FEET! Holding King in the air…

The crowd cheers…

Using all of his strength, Kido twists King in the air, taking his back… GERMAN SUPLEX!

Kido bridges on his tip-toes! King looks bewildered on the mat, seeing stars!

The official counts…



THRE-NOOOOOOOOOO! King rolls his shoulder off the mat, breaking the pin!

The crowd is on their feet now!

HHL: Wow! Both these men are made of fighting spirit, Pip!

PIP: Absolutely, Heather. But, only one of them is leaving a winner. It’s anybody’s match from here!

Two men both struggle to get up, the wear and tear of this match evident on their faces.

Kido reaches out to grab King, wincing from his injured arm, and King takes advantage with another uppercut!

Kido falls back to the ropes, as King sets up for another try at the G.O.D.! He runs at Kido...


And Kido twists around King's attack, getting his arms locked in, and dropping King backwards! King fights, but Kido continues flipping over with him, applying Heaven's Treasure!!

The referee drops in, checking on if King is going to verbally submit, because there's no way for him to tap out of this one...

King's feet are kicking like mad, trying to get out of the lethal submission hold...

Which suddenly breaks!

Kido rolls away in agony, grabbing at his injured arm, as he was unable to continue the hold!

He pulls at the ropes with his good arm, trying to pull himself up, and finally manages it, turning back...

And King leaps into him!!




The crowd is stunned, even as the referee does his job, making the count.




Winner - Isaiah King

HHL: Oh my god!!

PIP: Yes!! Isaiah King just beat the Universal Champion!!

HHL: But only because Kido's arm couldn't take the pressure of Heaven's Treasure!

PIP: Don't say it like there's an asterisk, here, Heather! King may have just gotten the biggest victory of his XWF career! And I bet this leads to big things for him!

HHL: I just hope Kido's arm can recover, as he looked to be in some serious pain there!

The referee holds up King's arm, and he stands strong, basking in the mixed reaction from the crowd. He keeps his hand up after the referee steps away, slowly tightening it into a fist as his mouth curls, once again, into a smile.

"Heroes" by Zayde Wolf plays

The arena lights darken as the opening notes of "Heroes" by Zayde Wolf float out from the speakers.

"I can hear the lost crying,
I can hear the truth hiding, hiding,"

A dim, angled spotlight partially illuminates a figure on the stage, standing to the left of the ramp with his head bowed and shoulders slumped.

"The shadows are calling us out

I see the fear rising,
Yeah, but my hope is burning,"

A second spotlight illuminates a larger figure standing on the right of the ramp, also with head bowed and shoulders slumped.

"The shadows are calling us out"

A spray of golden pyro goes up from the stage as the lights come up, revealing Jay Omega and Alex Richards.

"We are heroes!"

Jay and Alex raise their heads and square their shoulders, and start playing to the cheering crowd,

"Heroes in the darkest times
When there is no light

Richards and Omega make their way down the ramp, slapping hands as they go. At ringside, Alex takes a boot from his doctor's bag and has a drink, then tosses the empty boot into the crowd, while Jay hops up onto the apron and incites the crowd. Richards takes a tour around the ring to interact with fans, and Omega vaults over the ropes, climbs the far turnbuckle, and poses with one arm in the air while a multitude of camera flashes give the arena a strobe effect. Jay backflips off the turnbuckle as Alex rolls into the ring, and the two of them play rock paper scissors to determine who will start the match.

Batman theme plays

On the entrance ramp, a vicious looking crime fighting vehicle roars out!

[Image: Batmobile_batman_forever_movie_1995_val_kilmer_.jpg]

The roof of the car slides back, and the Blue Tango and the Atomic Bat emerge from it! They make their way down to the ring, proudly wearing their XWF Tag Team Championship Utility Belts!


- vs -
Standard Tag Team Title Match

HHL: Well, the time has come, folks.

PIP: That’s right, Heather, the hottest tag team action in the XWF is about to get underway as the Just-Us League take on Guardians Protection Services!

HHL: Some people think they’re the Guardians Protection Agency, Pip!

PIP: Those people probably wipe back to front as well.

Omega signals to Richards that he’ll start off the action, and the Atomic Bat is ready as the Blue Tango waits on the apron. Bat and Omega go to tie up, and Omega immediately goes for the arm wrench! He throws a snap kick to Bat’s midsection! Bat blocks the kick and counters the arm wrench into one of her own! She doubles up the wrench, putting more torque on the shoulder! She throws a kick to Omega’s midsection! Bat goes to wrench the arm again, and she flips Omega onto the mat! Omega kips up! Omega counters the arm wrench with a hammerlock! Bat with a back elbow to Omega! Omega pushes Bat off, for full extension of the arm, and loads up a clothesline! Bat ducks the clothesline, and shoots off the ropes! She leapfrogs Omega on the rebound, and makes a tag to her partner!

HHL: This has been lightning fast so far, Pip!

PIP: The Blue Tango looks to soar!

Tango climbs the top rope and flies with a missile dropkick! Omega sidesteps it, and Tango lands hard on the mat! Omega capitalizes with an elbow drop! Another elbow from Omega! Tango is slowly getting to his feet! Omega with a forearm to Tango! Tango blocks and leaps, hitting the superherocanrana! Omega tumbles into his corner, and Alex Richards makes the hot tag!

HHL: Alex Richards is quite the physical specimen, Pip.

PIP: You just think he’s cute.

Tango launches into Richards with a superhero uppercut! Richards just catches Tango’s fist! Richards with a chokeslam to Tango, with a quick cover!



Kickout! Tango gets a shoulder up! Richards looks flustered. Richards picks Tango up to a vertical base, and he throws a vicious overhand chop to Tango! The crack of Richard’s hand on Tango’s chest reverberates throughout Portland! Richards scoops Tango and drops him with a body slam! Richards shoots off the ropes and comes back with a snap elbow drop! Richards calmly walks over and tags his partner! Richards gets Tango up and shoots him into the ropes, and lifts him with a flapjack as Omega springboards in! Thunderstuck! Omega drops onto Tango with a pinfall!




HHL: The Blue Tango won’t die, Pip!

PIP: He needs to make a tag, and bad!

The Atomic Bat is slapping the top of the turnbuckle, getting amped and trying to will her partner to her! Jay Omega has the Blue Tango grounded with a chinlock! The referee looks and makes sure it’s a legal hold. Bat is still calling out for Tango! Tango struggles mightily to get out of the clutches of the chinlock, masterfully applied by Omega! Omega wrenches in the chinlock, but Tango gets to his feet! Omega holds the chinlock and Tango hoists Omega for a backdrop! Omega fights back to his feet though! Omega holds the chinlock and makes a tag to Richards! Richards is in and takes over Tango in a double underhook! He hoists Tango up for the Blackout as Omega shoots off the ropes! Atomic Bat drops and lowers the top rope, and Omega tumbles out of the ring as Tango struggles out of the double underhook and hits a back body drop onto Richards! Tango dives for his corner, and connects with a tag! Atomic Bat takes to the top rope and dives at Richards, connecting with the missile dropkick! Omega rolls back into the ring, but the referee cuts him off since he’s not the legal man! Tango grabs Richards in the confusion and hoists him up for the Cruci-justice Bomb, and the Atomic Bat bounds to the apron! Atomic Bat flies with a meteora landing on Richards as the Cruci-justice Bomb lands!

HHL: Oh my god!


Bat lands on Richards with the pinfall as Tango rushes Omega, causing both to spill out of the ring!




Winners - "The Just-Us League"

HHL: And just like that The Blue Tango and The Atomic Bat have successfully defended their tag team titles against one of the XWF's newest tag teams.

Pip: Something tells me this isn't the last time we've seen this particular match up.


The lights dim as multiple spotlights rotate throughout the arena. As "Leaving Dionysus" begins to play, the spotlights all point to the stage, illuminating a velvet red curtain. At the moment the guitars begin to play, the curtain is drawn open, revealing the imposing figure of Dionysus, holding a Thyrsus in his right hand and a shield on his left arm. He clashes the staff against his shield to rouse the crowd to clap with him, then roars, raising the Thyrsus above his head.

You never had the right,
Removing me from paradise.
Your path removed the light,
Rendering me colour-blind.

But now I’ll speak,
Since I’ve become my own again,
And now I’ll leave,
Since I’ve become my own, again.

"Making his way to the ring, from Minneapolis MN, weighing in at 270 lbs; he is the Lord of the Vine, DIONYSUS!"

Dionysus sets the Thyrsus and shield next to the ring apron and rolls inside, running to one of the turnbuckles and climbing up to rally the crowd behind him. He then hops down and limbers up, awaiting his opponent.









The lights in arena turn into an explosion of pinks, purples, greens, rainbows, unicorns on fire, lucky charms, rivers of sugar, and mountains of Meow Mix Ocean Explosion tuna treats as Angelica Vaughn walks out onto the ramp. She pauses with her hands on her hips, letting her cape sway gently, and gives her opposite coast home crowd a wide smile. Behind her, a blur of black and red speeds forward and under her arms as Sarah Lacklan slides in front of her and matches her pose, her head nearly a full foot under Angie's. Sarah tilts her head way way way back and up and flashes her Billion $$$ Smile, and the two wink at each other. Angie then takes her hands off her hips and pushes Sarah forward, making the former Universal Champion squawk in wide-eyed surprise, before the two make their way down the aisle.

Halfway there, Angie slows to a stop, her face turning slack, with her jaw falling to her chin. Ahead of her, Sarah sighs and rolls her eyes before backing up to Angie and, with a gentle firmness, pulling her away from that Cute Boy she had noticed sitting in an aisle seat. Angie looks longingly at the verified Cute Boy while Sarah shakes her head.

Once at ringside, Sarah slides into the ring underneath the ropes as Angie climbs the steps. Sarah gets to her feet and pulls down the top rope with all her weight, allowing Angie to step over the top rope like the most giant of giant wrestlers. As Angie walks to the center of the ring and stands with her hands on her hips, Sarah takes a microphone from Tigs and gives her a big wink.

SARAH: Hello, everyone! My name is Sarah Lacklan-

The crowd, dutifully, responds with the sound of a trumpet’s fanfare.

SARAH: World’s Greatest Life Coach and I am here to introduce to you the very FIRST member of the Family First of the XWF and my absolute (non-spouse) #RideOrDie. She is standing at the eternally totes-too-tall height of five feet and eleven inches...


SARAH: ...and weighing in today at about...oh...I'd say about thirteen or fourteen well-fed kitties...and because she likes dumb, useless, God-awful farm chores-

Sarah shutters in disgust.

SARAH: -she is fighting out of the Supes Totes Amaze Ranch in Texas...she is the Leggy Blonde of Legend…President of the Deborah Hodge Fan Club…the FUN-raiser of the XWF...the Vaughnemous A.N.G…

The crowd waits patiently as Sarah takes a deep breath.


Angie raises her hands into the air as a bedazzled spotlight shines down on her.


The crowd breaks out into a chant as Angie leads them with pumps of her arms.


- vs -
2 out of 3 Falls Match
In order to win you must secure a win via pinfall and submission2rps/3k


HHL: We’re off! TV title on the line here in our main event today, and it’s going to be looking like an instant classic! Dionysus and Angie Vaughn, two very solid stars within the XWF in their own right, looking to go head-to-head and it’ll be evenly matched!

Pip: Dunno if I have a betting favorite right now - either of these two guys can really fall short on the spot, y’know?

HHL: I dunno if ‘fall short’ is really the phrase to use… both of these guys can go the distance, and then some, Pip!

Dion offers Angie a nod of respect as the two circle around the ring, but Angie interestingly enough, simply keeps her game face on in response. The two eventually meet up in the center of the ring, Dion trying to offer a grappling exchange here! He tries to lock up - but Angie responds with a vicious roundhouse to the shin!


The crowd winces in their seats as Dionysus sucks in air through his teeth, gingerly extending his leg to make sure it’s not gonna hurt too bad. Angie’s face is stoic still, clearly taking this as seriously as possible as the two sides circle around the ring again. Dionysus is a lot more calculating this time, trying to force Angie to come to him rather than forcing the issue when her kick reach is so long.

HHL: Angie Vaughn’s kicks are like weapons of mass destruction - you can’t let yourself be on the receiving end of them for long if you want to even have any hope of coming out the victor in a match. Dionysus has to keep an eye out for any kick that Angie could be trying to throw.

Pip: That’s a lesson Dionysus might have to have burned into his brain at this rate, Pip. She can rack those kicks on anywhere at any time, pretty much!

Angie scrunches up her nose as she realizes she’ll have to move forward, something Dionysus is beckoning her to do. At the end of the day, she’s the one who’s fighting to win the championship, so it’s either move it or lose it for her. She advances forward, trying to play things slow and calculating, looking for another kick to the leg…

Oh! Dionysus raises his leg to check the kick! Angie’s strike is blocked as she tries to follow up, but Dionysus is able to use his superior strength for the first time in this match as he quickly comes out of nowhere with a solid clothesline! Angelica falls to the mat, and Dionysus runs the ropes to quickly try and follow up! Quickly tries coming down with an elbow drop-


Pip: What the Hell… is Angie Vaughn trying to lock in the Pigeonwing here early on?!

HHL: It looks like it, Pip! She must have been taking lessons from Sarah Lacklan ahead of this match, because she’s trying to get the lightning-fast submission here!

Dionysus quickly squirms along the mat with Angie on his back, trying his best to not let the move get fully locked in. There’s a bit of a tug-of-war between the two, but before Angie can sit back with the Pigeonwing applied fully, Dionysus manages to get his foot across the bottom rope. The ref calls for a break, which Angie gives cleanly before rolling back up onto her feet.

Dionysus now holds onto his arm as he carefully comes up, now a lot more wary of his opposition. That was a bit too close for comfort there, and it was now twice that he was ultimately caught lacking thanks to Vaughn’s expertise and ability to change the course of the match on a dime. Again, he beckons for Angie to have to be the one to push forward, and again Angie begrudgingly agrees to the situation forced onto her.

Clapping along as they circle around the ring once more and getting the crowd to clap along with her, Angie starts moving forward with those long legs of hers. She may not be too acrobatically talented, but with how long she is, her speed can be rather deceptive! A lightning-fast palm strike to the gut doubles Dionysus over, and she follows that up with a roundhouse! Looking to make the most of it now with a setup for a Scissor Kick-!

But Dionysus doesn’t stay down easily, grabbing the leg that tries to kick him in the gut to set it up, and responding with a Dragon Screw! Targeting the legs as Angie falls right on her back, and now it’s her right on the back foot again! She quickly rolls back up to her feet, only to get targeted and hit with a Spinebuster!

HHL: It’s a seesaw match here so far, just like I predicted! Both sides are really managing to get plenty of hits in, and we’re only in our first fall! Who’s going to be able to take the early lead?

Pip: Dionysus’ strategy so far is boiling down to ‘stand back, and let the action come to you.’ Considering how reactive Angie can be in a match, it’s… kinda working for him? But I don’t think it’s gonna be able to last as a winning strategy, especially if she can adjust to it.

Angelica manages to crawl across the ring, managing to bring herself up to the corner. Dionysus rushes forward, trying for a running big boot to there that looks almost like a Yakuza Kick at this rate! But Angie rushes forward, and manages to slip behind Dionysus! Dion turns around, preparing a block for an incoming kick…





Winner of the First Fall: Angelica Vaughn!

HHL: Angie managed to grab that fall out of nowhere! Who would have even saw that coming?!

Pip: Like I’ve said, Heather, Angie’s managing to roll with the punches right now so far and then some. Dionysus now has to work from behind and get two falls down, while Angie only needs to score a submission in order to win!

HHL: Might be a bit easier said than done, Pip. You can sneak a pinfall out of nowhere, but you can’t really sneak a submission in the same way…

Dionysus looks irritated as he gets up onto his feet, at himself more than anything else. As he does though, he notices Angelica giving him a confident smile as the two lock eyes. Finally, it looks like there’s a nod of respect coming through now for both sides, and the second fall looks to get underway.

Dionysus has to get in the driver’s seat, as he’s working from behind now. He moves in to face Angie, and she responds by trying for a kick to the side! Dionysus manages to catch it though, and a look of surprise crosses Angie’s face for but a moment! Dion ducks down and picks up Angie over his shoulder, before managing to hit a sort of spinebuster into the corner! It knocks the wind right out of the challenger’s sails, and Dion immediately follows up on the attack with some hard shoulder thrusts!

HHL: The champion’s looking like a man possessed right now - he’s really bringing the fight to Angie Vaughn out there!

Pip: I’ll give credit to him for knowing when and how to turn on the jets like this, and that’s why he’s a champion! Let’s just hope though that it’s not coming too late, since he’s gotta get a pin and a submission!

The ref calls for a break after a few moments of Angie getting the wind knocked out of her, and Dionysus is forced to back off, which he does grant a clean break. Angie is slow to move and respond, and the ref quickly checks on her. Angie signals she’s good to go, wincing as she moves about, but the action is back on!

Dionysus moves again, looking to strike while the iron’s hot and keep momentum in his corner, looking for a solid boot to set up a Tiger Suplex! He tries lifting Angelica up into the air, but she’s trying to kick and fight out of it with dangling her legs over back and forth! Dion can’t keep a good enough grip on her, and he’s forced to lower her - BACKHAND CHOP BY ANGIE RIGHT TO THE CHEST!


HHL: Every person in the arena just winced after that chop, Pip! I think even the nosebleeds could hear that one clearly!

Pip: Feels like neither one of these guys can just definitively keep advantage - which just makes Angelica’s flash pin all the more better for her in the long run here…

HHL: Good luck trying to submit the Champion though with how motivated he is.

Another chop from Angie rains out! And another! And another! Dion is feeling the pressure as his chest lights up like a Christmas tree! He tries to brace for impact on the next chop, but Angie changes her plan of attack on the fly - ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE ARM TARGETED BY THE PIDGEONWING EARLIER!

Angelica now runs the ropes with a head of steam under her - SICK KICK DRILLS DIONYSUS RIGHT IN THE FACE! HE FALLS TO A KNEE WITH A BLOODY NOSE STREAMING AS THE FANS TURN RAUCOUS! We might be ready to see a new champion on the spot!

Angelica readies herself and her hand, and it looks like she’s trying for her patented Mandible Claw, which is fittingly called…


Pip: C’mon, Heather! It’s just a Mandible Claw attempt! We’ve seen it all numerous times!

HHL: Pip, you and I both know I’m just trying to say what she calls it.

Angelica tries slipping in with her fingers, but Dionysus grabs her by the wrist! Angelica can’t quite apply the hold, and the two sides are going back and forth in this tug of war! Dion manages to get back into a standing position though as Angie realizes her chance is slipping away! Dion steps past her just enough - ENOUGH TO NAIL HER WITH AN STO BACKBREAKER!

HHL: ON! YOUR! SHIELD! Angie Vaughn just got drilled by that backbreaker! And she’s already having breathing problems after those shoulder thrusts earlier, that backbreaker can’t be good for that, either!

Pip: But can Dionysus capitalize on it?! It doesn’t look like that’ll be enough to pin Angie…

Indeed, Angie is already stirring, but Dionysus notices it as he’s already on top of her! He grabs her by the limbs, and a furious entangling is underway as he tries to lock in his own patented submission move - a Pentagram Choke Hold, but better known as the Quinque Punctum!

Angie’s trying to fight out of the hold, but it’s locked in tight like a vice grip! She can’t quite reach the ropes, but her foot is just inches away! Can she make it?! CAN SHE?!


Winner of the Second Fall: Dionysus!

HHL: We’re all tied up now, Pip! The champion just needs a pinfall to secure the win, and the challenger needs to make the champ tap out if she wants the gold!

Pip: At this rate, it’s honestly up in the air with who’s going to win! I can’t even tell anymore!

Dionysus releases the hold, and both competitors are down on the ground and taking a minute to get up. The match has been fast but furious, and both of them have thrown a lot of their best moves at each other. With the match coming to a boiling point though, one of them had to be pulling ahead soon.

Dionysus is the first to his feet, and he drops a sharp elbow on the back of Angie’s head. She stumbles and falls onto her knees, before digging down deep to get up! Dion tries for a right hand, but Angie meets him with a palm strike to the gut that now has the champion doubling over! Angie then grabs the arm targeted earlier - trying to set up for some sort of Hammerlock?!

Dion winces as his arm is nearly wrenched out of its socket, but he won’t let Angie target it further, hitting her with a boot to the gut! Dion goes for an Irish Whip, Angie now on the rebound… Big Boot incoming from Dion! But Angie ducks underneath it, Dion forced to turn around - roundhouse to the jaw! Dion falls onto one knee, and Angie is feeling it right now as she nods! She runs the ropes for a Scissors Kick-








Winner and NEW Television Champion: ANGELICA VAUGHN!

HHL: New champion! New champion! What a way to end Warfare as Angelica Vaughn pulls out a gutsy performance and win!

Pip: Makes you wonder when we’re ever going to get a Television Champion that can last a while…

HHL: Well, that just goes to show just how stiff the competition in the XWF is! The landscape can change at a moment’s notice!

Savoring the hard-earned victory, Angelica Vaughn raises the TV title up high as Warfare fades to black.

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