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B.O.B. D · (06-04-2023)

I had it, again; that nerve-wracking feeling I'd get before doing something I'd done hundreds of times before. No, it wasn't wrestling, that had always come naturally. Considering this was like my twelfth retirement, I was used to the constant influx of having to get back into the swing of things quickly. It had almost become MORE natural than staying in a single place for a lengthy run. Not to mention, you can't miss something if it doesn't go away, and my coming & going was a nice way of getting a cheap pop now and then.

This was the other side of things, the glitz and glamor that comes with being a member of the public eye. My first interview since coming back, conducted by none other than Steve Sayors, a man who once had quite the history with. From kicking his ass, to getting him arrested for my weed. We even played board games together. I wouldn't have asked for anyone else to do this with.

"Big D, what a pleasure it is to have you back here in XWF!" Sayors welcomed me with a firm handshake.
"Pleasure to be here, Steve," I said sitting down in my chair. The heat of the lights was like a preview of the spotlight I'd be under Sunday. It felt right, like I knew it would inside the Tokyo Dome.

"I'd like to start by saying how surprised most of us were to find out you were filling in for Lexi Gold at War Games."

"I'm just as surprised as the rest of you."

Steve chuckled. "I think the question we all wanna know is: why?"

"Why?" I repeated, taking a moment to take a deep dive into my reasoning. "Why NOT? It's the perfect opportunity. There was an open spot for anyone on the roster to step up and fill, but NOBODY wanted to. That's the real why, Steve. It's not everyday you get the chance to stand across the ring from the Universal Champion, I'm surprised that wasn't enough to bait a hungry upstart into the role. It certainly was enough for me. Guess nobody else has the stones I do."

"Nobody that wasn't already on a team," Sayors pointed out, receiving a classic Big D glare for his trouble.

"Didn't think that needed to be said."

Steve, sensing my annoyance, quickly moved on. "So this is about the Universal Championship? You think downing the Champion will catapult into the Title picture?"

"This is about alot of things," I admitted with a smile. "The Universal Championship should be everyone's goal, even though it clearly isn't. If my performance Sunday earns me a shot at Kido's Title, it'd probably be the best thing to happen to XWF in a hot minute. God knows the match alone would shatter the fabric of the universe."

"But, at the same time, the belt isn't the only thing I'm focused on," I continued, thinking back to how I would've looked at things just a few years prior. "The old me would've been like a horse wearing blinders, so focused on getting the carrot dangled in front of me, he couldn't see anything else happening around him. Which is exactly why Sarah had to bail my team out back in 019, just like I'm gonna bail HER'S out Sunday. I was so focused on the match AFTER the match, I allowed myself to get eliminated and potentially ruin my opportunity before it ever even happened. This time, the only thing on my mind is the match that's in front of me. Whatever happens next will be determined AFTER War Games. Let's just call it Monday's problem and leave it at that."

"Fair enough," Steve agreed before changing the subject. "There's all kinds of stories at play in this match: your history with Sarah, TV Title Matches with Noah, and rocky relationship with Bobby; that's alot of drama for one team to have. How do you handle being in such a volatile situation, while also trying to experience a shared success with a group of people you could easily label as 'rivals'?"

"I like to think we're all adults," I replied with more of a hope than an assurance. "With the exception of Noah, of course. Do you watch anime, Steve?" The broadcast journalist shook his head. "How 'bout comics, do you like comic books?"

"I've seen some of the DC movies."

I let out a loud groan before continuing with my point. "A major trope in anime............ comics............" Gulp. "The DC movies, is working with your enemy. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and that statement's never been more true that it is for War Games. This isn't a faction, none of us asked to work together. The cards fell the way they fell, and we have more to gain as allies than we do as foes. You don't become a Hall of Famer by screwing your team out of big matches, you do it by WINNING 'em. This group isn't short on ego, but that's only gonna drive each of us to upstage the other, and push one another, all the way to the Main Event!"

"In your last promo, you said that this team was capable of having a clean sweep," Sayors started with a smirk that told me he was skeptical. "Do you really believe that, or was that statement made purely for intimidation?"

"Well, that depends on what Noah shows up, I suppose. If it's the one who took me to the limit in a brutal barbed wire match, and damn near won March Madness this year, then yes. If it's the teenage emo 'woe is me, my daddy loves pussy more than his own son' Noah; then we'll be one short. Either way, I got faith that the rest of us can make up for any shortcoming Noah may have."

Steve couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. "You know he made it further than you ever did in March Madness, right?"

"You know my other teammates are Sarah Lacklan and Bobby fuckin' Bourbon, right?" I retorted. "I'm not saying Noah CAN'T get it done, as a matter of fact, I hope he does. And if throwing him under the bus motivates him to live up to the successes of his father, then so be it. I WANT us to make it all the way to the end; so much so, I put a couple of bucks on us pulling it off."

"Really? That confident?"

"Two dollars ain't alot of money, Steve," I said with a shrug.

"I see," Sayors frowned upon realizing I wasn't THAT confident in Noah. "And here I was thinking you did it for inspiration."

"Does this look like a team that needs to be inspired?" I asked as a horribly photoshopped picture of the four of us appeared on the small screen in studio.

"Uuuuuuuuuuum," a blatantly disagreeable Steve stuttered. "Nooooooooooooo." He cleared his throat before reiterating his response in a more reassuring manner. "No. Actually, you all look great. Sarah is beautiful as ever."

"That's actually me in drag," I corrected while pointing at the TV. "THAT'S Sarah."

Sayors squinted, realizing his mistake. "Ah, of course.............. why were you in drag?"

"It's a long story."

"Well, as we all know, it isn't the first time," Steve reminded everyone of my previous escapades. "But we're praying it's the last."

"Keep praying," I retorted, knowing full well I was gonna dress up and mock a future female opponent, once again, down the line.

"I will," a visibly disgusted Sayors said, unable to keep it PC. "You've had alot to say about your teammates, all of whom you have well known history with. The same can't be said for your opponents. Why is that, exactly? Been away too long and unfamiliar with the current top stars, or just too lazy to do the research?"

That last line had me feeling personally attacked. "Well, STEVE," I began, trying my best not to lose my cool. "Some of us were busy with retirement."

"You don't own a TV?"

"I watched........ other things," I blushed, thinking about the last time I tried watching an XWF show. I shamefully flipped to the channel, looking over my shoulder to make sure no-one was watching as if it was some sort of pornography. Before I could even witness the start of a match, my wife entered the room. abruptly, causing my to keep hitting the back button in a panic; going back and forth between the commercial on the XWF channel, and my safety net of SpongeBob SquarePants. She had no idea what was going on, as it looked like I was simply scrolling through ALL the channels, as opposed to two. After that, I was done.

"In my defense, this entire thing was on short notice. I don't have the luxury of watching the tapes, or checking out the promos, I have to hit the ground running. I'm out of shape, high as fuck, and pretty sure everything I've said up to this point is going to bite me in the ass when I don't even make it to the Final War Games match. You know what's sad? I didn't even realize Raion Kido was a two-time Universal Champion, let alone the current one. The only reason I found out was because I had to double check that he'd held the Title at all. But I don't care. I used to care. I'd keep myself up all night, worrying about whether or not I could pull it off. And I usually never did. Probably due to lack of sleep. The more I think about it, my best performances came whenever I was at my least stressed..........."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a vape pen, taking a nice long drag off it. "Now, I smoke these," I explained through a massive cloud big enough to get Steve a secondhand high. "POOF no more stress."

"Big D, you know that stuff is HIGHLY illegal in Japan," a concerned Sayors stated.

"Well they didn't hAVE TO KNOW WE WERE IN JAPAN YET, STEEEEEEEEVE!" I burst out for a split second, only to go back to the sweet serenity of being high. "If the authorities arrive, I'm blaming you, again."

He rolled his eyes. "Wouldn't be the first time."

"Yes, but hopefully the LAST," I scolded, giving him a threatening look over the mauve color of my pen. Smoke shot out my nostrils as I ordered the interviewer around once more for old time's sake. "Ask me something else. Something controversial. A question so spicy, my asshole hurts in the morning."

"Ew."

"Exactly. The kind of question that gets a reaction. I want your next words to be so real, and hit SO hard, that they make me want to get out of this chair and hit you."

Steve didn't seem to want that, but he also knew it would make for good TV. After egging him on some more, I was finally able to get him to break.

"How does it feel knowing most people don't expect you to last much longer than Oz?"

That one got my ears raised, as well as my blood pressure. "Come again?"

"N........ nevermind," a frightened Sayors stuttered, immediately regretting taking my bait.

"No............ I want you to ask it again, like a professional." My tone may have changed, but the intensity wasn't as malicious as it seemed.

"Y-yes, of course," he shook in his seat. "H-how does it feel knowing that................" He paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to phrase it that wouldn't end with him getting his ass kicked. "That......... you might not last as long as some of the OTHER competitors."

"You mean my entire team?"

"Y-yes."

Some people are called monsters among men but, in that moment, I felt like a man among monsters. Sarah Lacklan. Bobby Bourbon. Even Noah Jackson. All names that mean something, have a higher purpose within the Fed.

Then there was me, Big D. None of them would've picked me willingly, hell, most of 'em probably would rather go a man down than actually work with me.

And the whole world knew it.

"Substitutes get a bad rap, don't they?" I calmly questioned. "Nobody likes the backup Quarterback, or a substitute teacher barely qualified to hand out papers. And that's how they look at me, a last second fill-in. I'm not meant to be the hero, or score a pinfall; if anything, I'm supposed to be the one TAKING it."
"This is my time to shine. I could go down as one of the best back-ups in history. They'll be calling me the Nick Foles of XWF! And the only way to get there is by standing next to these titans of the ring as equals. I may never accomplish what they've done, or will do, but for one night............ this single moment in time, I'll know what it feels like to be a top guy..........." I could hear Lacklan's voice in the back of my head, almost like it was tapping me on the should with two word whisper 'or girl.'

"Well, not only are you gonna have to stand with some of the best," Steve transitioned. "You're also gonna have to stand AGAINST some of the best. Considering you've essentially admitted you have no clue just how good Team Vaughn actually is; how do you expect to even stand a chance against them."

"Luck, Steve. I can't tell you how many games of Madden I should've lost had it not been for that ONE miraculous play that completely tossed talent out the window! Or all the Magic Tournaments I could've been eliminated from had it not been for drawing the right card at the right time. Yugioh players call it the Heart of the Cards. Straight people call it Top Decking." The Yugioh fan in me died a little with that comment. "I may not know how good Angelica Pickles.............. Vince Vaughn............... UGH, Vince Pickles' team is, but I never knew how good any of those Magic players were when I sat across from THEM, either."

"But this isn't Magic," Sayors pointed out. "This is literally physical combat."

"I know exactly what this is, Steve. I've been doing it my entire life and, at this rate, I'm probably going to die inside a ring. And if that day comes Sunday night, then so be it. At least people will remember me as the only one who was willing to step up and do what needed to be done, as opposed to a face painted freaking looking up at the lights while BOBcentenial Man finishes off what little I had left of a sad career................"

I rose from my chair, fired up for the first time in a LOOOOONG time. "It's Twenty Twenty-D, I'm back and better than ever! When all is said and done, I'll not only be walking out of War Games on the winning team, I'll be doing it as the MVD. And that ain't no story................."

"............it's the Cold Big D Truth?"

"You're God damn right."

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