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THE WORLD, ACCORDING TO SID
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(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
06-03-2023, 03:53 PM

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The entire fanbase of the XWF had mocked Sidney Grey for her actions leading up to War Games.  After such a meteoric rise following March Madness, she had continued to spiral downward after her one and only friend, Gina Van Zyl had turned on her, costing her both the Anarchy and Universal Championships. War Games should have been a chance for her to shake off the shackles of those failures and recapture gold, but old habits were hard to break.  Instead of focusing on the glory that could come from winning, Sid had directed all of her energy towards sabotaging her own creation, Team Drunky Kong.

While other teams were busy working out their differences and formulating a solid gameplan to ensure victory, Sid was busy living out of the bottoms of several bottles of fine liquor.  No one had been able to get through to Sid, with the lone exception of Jay Omega.  It was a calculated rouse on the part of Jay and Dani, but at least they had managed to get her mind on the idea of actually trying to win instead of watching the world burn…more or less.

The price for Sid to ‘try’ at War Games was simple…a date with Isaiah King and Sid would be totally on board with Team Drunky Kong.  Of course, Sid knew that this was an impossibility, but that was the rub, wasn’t it?

Sid was content to watch her team flounder and fail from the comfort of ringside.  It would be a great joy for her, especially if she could see Centurion eat the canvas…all while catching a glimpse of the former TV Champion’s glorious visage.  Yes…it would be worth it to The King as she drank herself into a fantasy laden stupor…




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King Sidney greedily gulped down a goblet of her kingdom’s finest ale, slamming down the empty as her servants rushed to refill it.  She wiped away the leavings with the finely embroidered sleeve of her royal robe as she snatched up the newly refilled goblet and gestured to her advisor, dubbed The Hand of The Lady King. “Tell me, who is next to bring tribute to me?”

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A miniature version of Dani Chow waddled forward, bowing before Sid. “Oh, Great King!  Cast your magnificent gaze to our harbor port and see the tribute befitting your glory!”

The King turned as the curtains were thrown open from the balcony giving all a view of the harbor as six massive vessels were birthed.  Upon each one stood a mighty beast bound in chains.  Sid’s eyes grew wide at the otherworldly sight.  “MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?!”

Dani smiled, pleased with The King’s amazement.  “Kaiju, my King!  Each one captured by a mighty house and brought here to give to you as tribute!”  Everyone was in awe of the magnificent and terrifying beasts.  The King’s court all screamed and marveled at the giant creatures of legend.


“A GIANT SPIDER!”

“A CAT! THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE A METALIC KITTY CAT!”

“IS THAT AN ORC? IT LOOKS LIKE AN ORC!”

“AN APE! Wait…I think it’s drunk. What’s wrong with it?”


“Nothing wrong with it!” The Lady King’s Hand interjected.  “That marvelous beast was captured by The King’s Guard, Vagabond ‘Last of Her Choosing’, Jay Omega ‘Defender of The Universe’, and Centurion ‘The Ruby Prince!’  All of this for the glory and pleasure of our King!”

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Sid peered down at the living treasures, her eyes dancing over them, one and all until they fell upon one that captured her fancy more than all the rest.  She pointed. “That one…bring that one to me!”

Dani had to hop up on a nearby table to look over the rise and see what had captured the favor of The King.  Dani frowned.  “The Kaiju of the Realm of Good Boi?”  She frowned, turning back to her King.  “Are you sure?  Behold the great ape of legend…KONG!”

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The court stared down at the mighty ape as it lifted a giant barrel of wine, greedily gulping it down, then smashing it to the deck of the ship with a tremendous crash.  The ape let out a massive belch that sent the entire harbor into a panic. 

Sid waved away the alcohol that permeated the air from the titanic burp.  “No…I want HIM!”

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All eyes turned to Isaiah ‘The Ebony’ King as he and the rest of his band of Good Boi brothers held their Kaiju at bay.  Dani frowned even more at this, turning to her King.  “Sire…the Kaiju are the gifts.”

Sid gulped down her goblet of wine before letting out a massive belch of her own.  “Am I not The King and Ruler of all I survey?”

“…yes…?” Dani answered meekly.

Sid threw down her goblet and clasped her hands together. “THEN IT IS SETTLED!  A King for The King!”

Nervous conversation reverberated throughout the court as word of The King’s wishes was sent down.  All watched in horror as a skirmish broke out on the deck of the harbor as the degree was read.  The champions of the Land of Good Boi acquitted themselves well in the heat of battle and just as it seemed that they would overcome sheer numbers, The King’s Guard outflanked them and forced their surrender.  The other Houses moved to exclude themselves, but The King ordered their capture as well. 
The needless bloodshed horrified the onlookers, but Sid was well-pleased as she rubbed her hands together in eager anticipation.

In good order, all those who would pay tribute to The King were brought before her in irons.  Ladies and Lords, one and all of the great Houses of her kingdom were brought before her.  King Sidney squealed in drunken delight as she staggered from her throne and walked among her captured subjects, inspecting them all with a critical eye.

The King approached the Lord of the first House and Dani announced.  “Lord Thunder Knuckles, present your tribute to your King!”

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Thunder Knuckles glared at Sid, barely able to hide his distain as he gestured to the mighty Thermodynamic Eradication Assistance Mech chained to his ship.  Sid glanced at the massive mechanical monstrosity, then turned her attention back to Lord Thunder Knuckles and his guard, ‘The Physician of Death’ Louis D’Ville, Jenny ‘Queen of The Myst’ and ‘The Furious Cur of War’ Mark Wright.  Sid’s eyes fell to each and every one of TK’s subjects, then she turned to the Lord of the House himself.  “A fine tribute Lord Knuckles…for a King that deals in scrap!”  She gestured absently and her men at the harbor set to work, scuttling the ship to send the mechanical beast to the bottom of the harbor to rust in oblivion.

TK struggled against his bonds, knowing that he and his guard would be next. “BITCH!”

“Such disrespect!” Sid said with a sneer.  “But, I suppose that is to be expected from you and your House.  I’ve heard the whispers…and I know your intentions.” Her eyes passed over Jenny and Mark…lighting on D’Ville, former King.  She leaned in close to him.  “…watch and see how a true King wields power…” 

She snapped her fingers and her Guard executed TK’s followers with brutal efficiency, sending Lord TK into a fury.  Her Guards subdued him, forcing him back down to his knees before her.  “WHY?!” He screamed, shaking with rage.

Sid smiled. “I have birds everywhere and they whisper to me.  Do you know what poison they said slipped from thine own tongue?”  Sid stood back.  “You dared to disparage The King’s Guard!  Callously downplaying the talents of Omega and Vagabond while questioning the loyalty of Centurion to The Crown!  This is treason I say!”

TK spat back. “THIS IS FOLLY AND YOU ARE A FUCKING BITCH!”  He turned, staring at Centurion.  “If you were with me, we would easily overthrow this wench and live as Kings ourselves!”

King Sidney raised a single eyebrow. “It is hearsay then!”

Omega and Vagabond acted swiftly, both plunging their swords into Lord Knuckles and sending him to the afterlife in a great torrent of blood that sent the ladies of The King’s Court into a fit of howls and screams of horror.  Sid watched Centurion for a moment, her stoic ‘Ruby Prince’ starring back at her, his expression dispassionate and unreadable.

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“Eh!” Sid exclaimed as she turned her attention to Lady Dolly ‘Of The Stagnant Waters’ and her own guard; Corey ‘The Black’ Smith, Knowingless Soldier, and ‘The Golden One’ Dionysus.  The King looked on them, one and all…her eyes lingering on Dionysus.  “So…you are the one who defeated ‘The Ebony King’ and took his great prize?”  Dionysus didn’t speak, only smiled in response.  Sid rolled her eyes and gestured with a slight wave of her hand.  Dolly’s guards were all slain under the blade, but she stopped them before they could execute their Lady.

Dolly raised her head proudly, inviting the sword.  “What are you waiting for?  Kill me!”

Sid glanced over at another of the Ladies, ‘The Red Queen’ Sarah Lacklan.  Sid pointed and her Guards dragged her over and threw her down on her knees before her King.  “Sarah…how is my daughter?  I haven’t heard from the princess in ages.  Is she well?”

Sarah’s eyes narrowed hatefully as she responded through clenched teeth.  “Better now that she’s no longer under your thumb!”

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“Doubtfully my little red eyed wench!”  Sid took in a breath, assessing Sarah’s guards.  Sir Noah Jackson of Cuntsford, Duke of Bastards Bobby Bourbon, and Lexi Golden…?  Sid paused, looking at the painted faced man that was bound before her.  Sid looked around.  “Where is Lexi Golden?”

Sarah cleared her throat as she spoke up, her voice laced with loathing.  “Regrettably, Lady Golden perished on the journey.  She was eaten by the giant spider Kaiju.  This is her worthy replacement…Maximus D.”

Sid’s eyes grew wide.  “The author!” She turned to Maximus.  “Your tomes have helped me find rest many many times when the weight of this crown threatened to chase sleep from me.  For that, you have my gratitude.”  She gestured and her Guards helped him to his feet, unbinding him from his comrades.

Sarah exclaimed.  “So, you’re setting him free?”

“Yes!” Sid pointed and without hesitation Maximus was hustled to the balcony and thrown over the side.  His screams faded into the distance as he fell, only to be cut off abruptly as he splattered across the cobble stone below. 

“…you cold evil…BITCH!” Sarah screamed.

Sid adjusted the crown atop her head and turned back to her.  “I heard what your man had to say about the Princess…your wife.  I could not abide that, though I think that you would if it meant winning a war to take what is mines, by right.”  Sid straightened as she looked on the remainder of Sarah’s Guard.

She smiled as she looked at Bourbon.  “Duke Bourbon!”  She grabbed his hair and mussed it atop his head.  “I should have made you one of my Guard!  I had the opportunity, but regrettably, I did not.  I know the caliber of fighter you are.  We did battle on the night of my coronation and I only barely managed to best you…” She paused.  “…or perhaps you allowed your King to win.”

She drug her finger across her throat and Jay dutifully did the honors, slitting the Duke’s throat with his blade and kicking his gurgling body down before The King.  Sid lifted the hem of her dress to avoid the rapidly expanding pool of blood on the floor as she approached Noah.  She squatted down to look into the angry eyes of the Lord of Cuntsford.  Sid reached out to caress the side of Noah’s face, but he jerked away, already knowing his fate.  Sid sighed.  “I wanted you as well Sir Noah.  You would have been a fine addition to The King’s Guard, but it wasn’t talent that you lacked.”  She paused.  “If anything…I liked you a little too well.”

“Wha-“ Before he could ask what she meant, Vagabond ran his sword through his neck from behind.  Sid had to move quickly to avoid the great spray of blood that erupted from his mouth as he uttered a single final word; “…cunt…”

“Noble to the last.”  She turned to Centurion.  “You’re lucky…that should have been you.”  He remained stone faced.

“Enough of this!  Kill me too!” Sarah spat out.  “You think Kenzi hates you now?”  She smiled wickedly.  “We will see how she feels after my blood is all over your hands!”

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Sid cocked her head to the side, looking down at the Ladies Sarah and Dolly.  She turned her attention to Lady ‘Long Legs’ Angelica Vaughn and her motley crew.  She walked before them, assessing each one of her hand-chosen warriors.  She stopped first and looked down at Sir Ozrick ‘The Old.’  Sid assessed the man she had defeated first in route to claiming the Crown.  She put a hand on the man’s powerful shoulder.  “Sir Ozrick.  You had told me that if I best you, I could count on you being there by my side…but, where were you?  What of your promise of devotion to me?”

“In spirit, my King.” He answered.

“Then you may continue to serve me…as a spirit. Sid waved her hand and Ozrick’s head came off as cleanly as a dandelion head. It rolled across the floor and Lady Angelica let out a gasp, but Sid silenced her with a finger to her lips.  She turned instead to Raion Kido ‘The Usurper.’  Sid rubbed her hands together briskly.  “You stole my title!”

“I defeated you fairly.” He retorted.

Sid pointed to the window.  “Since The Lion loves heights, let’s see if he can survive a second ascension, shall we?”  Raion was brave to the last, giving Lady Angelica a final nod, and even managing to throw up a fist to the Gods before falling to his demise on the hard ground below.  Sid gave a sorrowful sigh.  “I should have picked him as well.  No matter!”

She turned to Sarah, now flanked by Dolly and Angelica.  “Okay, you choose daughter.  Who dies?”

Sarah struggled against her bonds, eyes bulging. “MONSTER! You’re going to kill us anyway!”

Sid nodded with a smile. “True, but I couldn’t resist you seeing them go first.”  Two swords pierced Dolly on either side and Sarah gave a scream that brought a smile to Sid’s face.  She pointed to Angelica. “Do her now!”

“Meemaw?” Angelica said.

Sid stopped them and took Vagabond’s sword and lopped off both sister’s heads in a single swing.  She paused, unable to hide the urge to laugh out loud.  “Please…someone, go down and burn that fucking spider!”  She handed the bloody sword back to Vagabond and finally brought her attention to The Lords of Good Boi.

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Sid looked at Commadore Rodriguez first.  “I don’t know you, but I suspect that you know me.  It comes with being The King I suppose.  I’ll go down in history…The Universal Lady King of Anarchy…” she paused.  “…but you will simply go down.”

Another quick gesture and another would-be usurper vanquished.  Sid looked next at Sir Mark Flynn.  She couldn’t hide her admiration for the man and all that he had accomplished.  She pointed.  “I will forever regret not being able to pick you.  They say, when it comes to war, none are your equal.”  She glanced over at Centurion.  “I know YOU don’t believe it, but many say that MY Ruby Prince is your better.”  She turned back to Mark.  “Didn’t you two go off to war together?  I mean…you’d know, right?”  She waved off her own comment.  “It doesn’t matter who’s better.”

Sid called over one of the servant girls, taking a flask of oil from her as she poured it all over Mark. “I’m no flash in the pan.  Trust that I will burn longer and hotter than you!” With that a torch was tossed and Sir Mark was set ablaze.  His howls of pain rung throughout the halls and the smell stung the nostrils.

The King turned to Isaiah ‘The Ebony’ King.  She didn’t even attempt to hide her lust.  “You called me arrogant…and that is true.  You also said that fear surrounded me, but not in the way that you think.” She leaned in close.  “There’s only one predator here.”

Instead of killing him, she turned to ‘The Notorious Knight’ Ned Kaye.  “Ned, I am a King…not because, but in spite of you.  It is ironic, of all those here that have fallen by my hand, it is only you who purport to have sympathy for me.”  She shook her head.  “It’s not sympathy…that’s envy!  You lost a chance to wear my crown…and now you want to lead a rebellion against me for…redemption…to those who seek it?  HYPOCRITE!”  Sid gestured and a huge wine barrel was rolled over and the top opened.  Sid smiled at Ned.  “I almost envy you.”  Ned was picked up and dunked into the barrel upside down with his hands bound behind him.  Everyone watched in horror as he struggled and kicked, then slowly and enviably drowned.

Sid smiled, dipping a finger into the wine and sucking it.  “A fine vintage indeed!” 

Dani swallowed, pointing to Isaiah.  “What of ‘The Ebony King’ sire?”

Sid smiled coyly.  “And then there was one.”





The wind blew cool as King Sidney tossed her handkerchief in the air signaling the Hangman to execute his duty.  The hooded man yanked down on the lever and the floor fell away from underneath the condemnedSid adjusted the crown atop her head as the bodies of all three of her King’s Guard dangled from the gallows, all struggling against the ropes that slowly strangled them into eternity.

Sid turned to Isaiah with a smile. “All hail the Kings!”

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Even in her drunken slumber, Sid couldn’t stop smiling…

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