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MFoD (Part Four): A Bizarre Adventure
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Dionysus Offline
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(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
06-03-2023, 12:41 PM


We really should have said a few words for Silas.

Even if he couldn't understand what we were saying, he was still a person, with hopefully a loving family and friends. I made sure to memorize the flight information so I could report the incident later to the travel company.

But Corey and Soldier were already leading ahead, hacking away at the foliage with the machetes they, thankfully, manage to scavenge from the wreckage. Dolly had the map out and was checking for any landmarks, and I brought up the rear after gathering a few more of the supplies that could be salvaged. It wasn't much, but who knew how long we would be out here? I caught up with Dolly, her brow furrowed trying to study the map. "We should really do something to honor Silas's memory," I pleaded.

Dolly rolled her eyes, drawing her attention away from the map. "The idiot crashed the plane!" she retorted. "He was a bad pilot and he got what was coming to him."

"Doesn't that seem a bit harsh? The man probably had a family."

"Well maybe he should've thought of that before he CRASHED OUR FUCKING PLANE!"

I just shook my head. "There's no getting through to her now," I heard Corey chime in from the front. "We can win this thing in his memory, though. Come on, help us through the foliage."

"YEEEEEEEEEEEAH," chimed in Soldier as he gleefully cut through the thicket.

"No offense, but I think you two have this covered," I replied. I could feel the strain of the extra gear on my back. I suppose that was the blessing and curse of being the largest one in the group. "Besides, I'm carrying some extra gear."

"Why the hell did you grab that stuff?"

"We don't know how long we'll be out here for, nor do we know if anyone will be able to find us right away. I was always taught to plan ahead. We have enough rations to last us at least a few days, but water will be the biggest problem."

Corey shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said, swinging his own machete into some more foliage.

"I've got Satan to keep me going! YEEEEAH," Soldier also said as he chopped further in.

About an hour passed with more hacking and slashing than a b-list horror movie, and the effort from Corey and Soldier was beginning to show its wear. "Maybe we should take five, and catch our breath," I suggested.

"No," Dolly said firmly. "We keep going."

"But my arm is getting tired," Corey replied.

"I need a break too," Soldier also said.

Seeing as she was outvoted three to one, Dolly raised her hands up, saying "Fine! Five minutes, then we get back to finding this place!"

Corey and Soldier were already sitting on the ground, each drinking from their waterskins and catching their breath. Dolly was sitting nearby, pouring over the map. I looked over Dolly's shoulder, an easy thing to do given the height difference, and also looked over the map. "Say Dolly-"

"Not now, new meat," Dolly snapped, "I'm trying to read this map! Its so damn confusing!"

I stopped in my tracks. "You mean to tell me...you bought a map you couldn't read?"

"A MAP IS A MAP!" she shouted. "What's it to you, anyway?"

"If we can't read the map right, we're going to get lost in these woods," I explained. "That will also mean we can't get any closer to finding this temple or this lamp you're so fixated on."

"So what do you want me to do, huh? Go grab Silas's flat body and see if he can read this mess?!"

Even though I knew she was just frustrated, that still seemed like a low blow. "Let me have a look." Without waiting for a reply, I took the map out of her hands. There were definitely landmarks, but most of the map was covered with dense forest, and the X marking the temple was still buried deep within. Even with the landmarks indicated, I could not recall seeing anything that looked like what was on the map. "Hmm..." I mused aloud, as I noticed some writing along the edge. "There's something written around the border of the map...looks like its a phrase that is repeating itself."

"What?!" Dolly exclaimed. I turned the map over so she could look, pointing at the edge of the map. She tried reading it, but then said, "Well good for whoever made this stupid thing, but no one here can-"

"I can read it."

Dolly blinked, tilting her head to one side. "How?"

"I have a history degree. I took a number of courses on ancient languages."

"Wow...you really are just a big nerd, aren't you?"

"It'll be a rough translation," I continued, ignoring the jab, "but I think it reads, 'The path to paradise is through Ra's guidance. Trust his light, not his might.' And it looks like it repeats itself around the edges of the map." I kept reading the phrase just to see if there was any difference in wording, but from what I could tell, the phrasing remained the same throughout.

"...And that means...what, exactly?"

"Well," I began to analyze, "The path to paradise could mean a number of different things, but since its on the map, I'm guessing it is supposed to mean a way to the temple. Paradise would indicate an afterlife, so it is a religious context, so that leads me to temple. And the path is-"

"I think we all know what the path is."

"Right," I continued, "That just leaves the next part. Ra's guidance. We didn't pass by any landmarks that paid respects to Ra, and none of the images here seem to point to him either, which tells me we shouldn't be looking at the landmarks at all."

"So why put them on the map in the first place?"

I thought about the question for a moment, then replied, "Its probably to throw people off the trail. Think about it; if this is supposed to lead to a lamp with ultimate cosmic power, you're not going to make it easy for people to find it. Its not like I can walk into a Seven-Eleven and get a magic lamp. So they left landmarks on the map that either are real but are not actually in the places indicated, or they're fake and will lead people to a dead end. We might have given up assuming that the forest overgrew the landmarks so we couldn't find it."

"So how do we get there?"

"That would be the last part here. 'Trust in his light.' I think it leads back to Ra's guidance. Maybe a light source?"

"Didn't see anything like that when we were cuttin' through the woods," Corey said, walking over into the conversation.

"So what could it mean?"

"Ra's the sun god, right?" Soldier chimed in.

I was about to reply to him when it immediately clicked.

Ra is the sun god.

Ra's guidance.

Trust his light.

Dolly was chastising Soldier, but I was too focused on the map to hear what she was saying. I held the map open as full as I could get it, then held it up to the sunlight. The map itself was thinner than I expected when I first grabbed it, but now I understood why; there were thicker portions indicating a path, including, by coincidence, an area we were supposed to pass through, but instead had crash-landed. We were, in fact, on the right path.

"...And that's why, Soldier, I think you are absolutely a complete and utter-"

"Genius," I cut in loudly. Dolly, Corey, and Soldier all looked over at me holding the map inverted. "Take a look at this." Everyone gathered around, looking up at the map. "All we need to do is shine some light on the back of the map, and it'll show us the way to the temple."  I lowered my arms and reoriented the map, pointing at a clearing we were supposed to pass through that happened to have a landmark. "See here? This is where we crashed. All we need to do is follow this path to the X!"

Dolly clapped her hands excitedly, saying "Dio, if I didn't hate you I'd kiss you right now!"

"Don't kiss me, kiss Soldier; it was his idea," I said, pointing my thumb over my shoulder.

Dolly looked over at Soldier, a devilish grin crossing over his face as he licked his lips. Dolly blinked twice, stone-faced, before replying, "No." Soldier's expression melted into a feigned sadness, lowering his head in shame. "Alright everyone, get your machetes and lets keep moving! Break's over!"

We continued on, Soldier and Corey happily cutting away where they needed to go, with Dolly and I providing the direction and guidance needed to move onto the next step in our journey. I held the map while Dolly shined a flashlight underneath so we could continue to look at the trail.

The Wishmonger would soon be ours.

The following advertisement is brought to you by the XWF Television Champion, Dionysus:



This has been an advertisement from the XWF Television Champion Dionysus, reminding you all to go touch grass.

My understanding of War Games is fairly limited. As it should be; it is only my first rodeo, after all.

That said, I know a thing or two about team cohesion. At least, I should hope I know a thing or two, given my legendary run with the Action Wrestling Tag Titles. It is never a matter of being exactly like your partners, but rather to sync together, complimenting everyone's strengths while shoring up their weaknesses. It is why I have never held the belief that a team has a "weak link." You either win as a team or lose as a team. To hold the belief that you are one complete unit is what sets apart good teams from great teams.

And the Wishmonger is a great team.

Question Dolly's selection process all you wish, but admittedly it was with the least amount of bias. Diving who to choose puts the onus on her interpretation of the fortune in front of here, and thus the selection is still pure. Take my selection, for instance; she could've easily picked Mad Dog for being a drunkard or someone else because they have the number three in their birthday or social security number. Decisions that were made based on instinct and trust, not based on superficial reasons.

Take the Good-Bois, for example. Ned's picks were all based around either giving people second chances or viewing them through a new lens, all in an effort to push not only himself forward, but also those around him. I don't know about the rest of you, but do you see a guy like Mark Flynn needing more of an elevation? Especially from Ned Kaye? It is that self-centered nature of his that is going to cause his team to collapse. His selection is based on his interpretation of who people are, not who they actually are. Its why selecting guys like Isaiah King and Crash Rodriguez is going to hurt him in the end; one is also looking for their own self-motivation, while the other is debuting in this very match. So sight unseen, the cohesion of Good-Bois is not one I would say is strong.

Even then, at least he had reasoning for his selections. Lacklan's picks seemed like throwing darts at a dartboard and see who it would land on. Noah Jackson has gone from being in the finals of March Madness to...well I'm not really sure at this point; still trying to find his footing, I suppose. Bobby Bourbon is still reeling from a triumphant moment in defeating Flynn for the world title, only to turn it around to Sidney Grey. At least Lexi Gold saw the sense in what kind of disaster this team was going to result in and bounced out, leaving a complete unknown in Lacklan's gameplan to work around in...Big D.

...I take it back; with that name, they're winning.

Much as I enjoy the name of Kitty Cat Kaiju, I should at least be grateful that they didn't go for the alliteration route for their team name...they would probably have guaranteed a dip in viewership on that route. But Vaughn, I really need to ask; with Kido out here burning cosmos week in and week out, you decided to gamble on his pick in the second round? And only because Centurion wasn't available? Or was that just for the sorority to try and mangle his name to make it all rhyme? I suppose with selections like Vita, who is using this match to work out the ring rust, and Oz, who...well, it makes sense for Vaughn to grab some star power, even if by her own admission Kido was an afterthought. Not a great way to form up a solid team.

And while we're at it, what the hell is Sidney Grey even thinking? Snickering at her own pick for Centurion? I get it; you want to grab the big win so you first choose the guy who has gone on record to saying he would potentially sabotage your chances of winning. Solid choice there, Sid. You then select the dollar store guardian of the galaxy, Jay Omega. Or maybe I should have gone with the dollar store Saber Raine...nah, that would still be valuing him too highly. You didn't even "pick" Vagabond, by your own admission, and yet you expect loyalty to the king above all else? Please; we all know the reason why you lost the world title was due to your poor planning, and these picks are the proof. When it all inevitably blows up in your face again, the finger is only going to point at you.

I'm not going to say our cohesion is any better; you all know the recent history between Dolly and I, and I hardly know Corey or Soldier. But need I remind you all of Chardonnay? Not even one match into my XWF debut and the idea was conceived, and we drove that success forward, generating massive interest even before seeing what we could do. And while Blondie may be gone, that teamwork should leave a lasting impression. Corey has been a phenomenal success in War Games, and Soldier, while an odd one, is not someone I see myself as being above or below. Dolly is trusting her instincts in my selection, and she knows as well as I do how well I work with others.

And if I am being bold, I would say based on that assessment, we have the strongest cohesion. We are able to operate as one complete unit. We're going to run a road roller through War Games...


...And you all are going to wish you had seen us coming.

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CTN (06-17-2023), Doctor Louis D'Ville (06-03-2023), Dolly Waters (06-03-2023), Theo Pryce (06-04-2023), Unknown Soldier (06-05-2023)




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