“It’s like they all think their fight is entirely against me.”

As the pod shuts behind him, the V.R. feed comes on, and the rest of his team’s cards are logged in, Raion Kido cannot help but notice that, despite everyone speaking about how unremarkable he was, they took awful pains to focus on him more than his teammates.

And wasn’t that enough to show their claims as lies?

“But I am not making last year’s mistake! I am part of a team, and together we shall overcome! This is the Kitty KAIJU’s fight, and our War Games to win!”

“Team Captain here! This is almost like real life! Persian, I choose you!”

"Vita online! Let them fear the Dark type! Go, Umbreon!”

"Mr. Oz present. Let us show them what our united strength can do. Get them, Clefairy!”

“And now it’s my turn. Let them know the power of legendary Lightning! Go, Raikou!”

As the KAIJU Pokémon hit center stage, a triumphant fanfare sounds and a vibrant, packed arena materializes, the holographic versions of his teammates at his side.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another edition of the Pokémon League! We have with us a team of trainers ready to take on the best and brightest Pokémon out there! Let the contest begin!”

Another fanfare sounds as the camera centers on the battlefield - its center shaped like a Pokéball in traditional Pokémon fashion.

“And now, for the Kitty KAIJUS’s first foes, a team of fearsome foes that strike terror in everyone’s hearts. Ladies and gentlemen… the team Túraner!”

The blonde, red-eyed lady that serves as the opposing trainer, and her three companions, let out their Pokéballs to the arena - a group of white, jellyfish-like creatures!


“OH! A squad of Nihilegos! Will they take over the Kitty KAIJUS’ Pokémon!?”

“Parasites are no match for us!”

It is the Túraner’s captain that commands the first move!

*NIHILEGO USED POISON DRENCH!*

The Nihilegos rush the KAIJUS’ Pokémon and spit their poison on them! Vita’s Umbreon is unaffected, but the rest of the Kitty KAIJUS have suffered some damage! However, it is their Team Captain that takes the initiative!

“Team, it’s now time to focus! My sis has lived off me for too long, and it’s time I strike out of my own!”

*PERSIAN USED SLASH!*

"Bobby wants to be my friend every other night, but today I’m having none of that rubbish, and will show him how serious I can get!”

*CLEFAIRY USED MOONBLAST!*

"Noah thinks he can tell me to back off? Uh-uh, no way! I'm gonna totally rock his world in the ring, even harder than we do, you know, in the bedroom!! He won't know what hit him when I unleash my Umbreon, and he WILL bite, just like ME!”

*UMBREON USED BITE!*

“Big D dares say he does not respect me as Champion. I suppose he has been misinformed all the time he has been gone, and I say we show him what it means to face a legend!”

*RAIKOU USED THUNDERBOLT!*

The KAIJU Pokemon attack now, and the parasites stand no chance before their might! Sarah’s Nihilego is torn almost to shreds by Persian’s claws, Clefairy blasts off its foe off the arena, the teeth of Vita’s Umbreon sink into Noah’s creature, and Big D’s own charge is twitching helplessly after Raikou’s electric blast!

“Team Túraner cannot continue! It’s now time for Thunder Knuckle’s T.E.A.M.! And here they go… THUNDER SHUCKLES!”

The opposing trainers reveal their Pokémon - a team of soft creatures hiding inside shells!


“Hee hee, Thunder Shuckles!”

"Thunder Knuckles is the Bastard that fails to get anything done. Someone more competent will show his thick skull how things are done!”

*CLEFAIRY USED PSYCHIC!*

"Doc Deville’s grandiose image is just a cover to hide the fact that his star has faded! It’s time we brought that to light!”

*UMBREON USED REFLECT!*

“A Mad Dog is no match for a Kitty Cat, and Mr. Wright is about to see that!”

*PERSIAN USED FURY SWIPES!*

As the KAIJUS rush the T.E.A.M. Pokémon, it’s all they can do to burrow inside their shells!

*SHUCKLE USED WITHDRAW!*

“Cowardly creatures that retreat when things don’t go their way, like Jenny Myst. I say we crush them, shells and all!”

*RAIKOU USED BULLDOZE!*

The mighty charge of Raikou sends all Shuckles off the arena - their shells turned over and unable to do anything else!

“And that’s it for the T.E.A.M.! Who shall be next? Oh! Here come Dolly Waters’ WISHMONGERS!”

And the opposing team sends their Pokémon into the arena - a herd of protective, kangaroo-like creatures with their young in their pouches!


"Leave it to Dolly Waters to surround herself with talent greater than her. But this ends today!”

*CLEFAIRY USED BRICK BREAK!*

"Dionysus speaks about experience? Let me prove to him how foolish it was of him to let Dolly Waters use him!”

*UMBREON USED DOUBLE-EDGE!*

“Unknown Soldier is lost in his own mind, and he’s of no use to anyone that way! Let’s see if we can’t bring him back to light!”

*PERSIAN USED ASSURANCE!*

“Corey Smith is nothing without someone from whom to take. Thaddeus Duke, ALIAS, and Dolly Waters, and now he dares challenge me!? Let’s show him the outcome of his idiocy!”

*RAIKOU USED THUNDER FANG!*

The Kangashkhans try to protect their offspring, but little can they do against the KAIJU’s onslaught, and they are knocked out, with their poor young trying to revive them!

“Down go the WISHMONGERS, and it’s now time for Team Drunky Kong!”

The old woman with the crown commands her team to fling their Pokéballs, of which emerge several flying fossils!


“Aww, mee-maw Sidney brought her friends with her!”

“But just like her, they go down like any other bird!”

*RAIKOU USED THUNDER WAVE! ARCHEOPS IS PARALYZED!*

The ancient birds fall to the ground, powerless to do anything!

“I took the Anarchy Title from Centurion, and now I will take his life!”

*CLEFAIRY USED MEGA PUNCH!*

"Jay Omega had his moment of glory, but now his time is past!”

*UMBREON USED CRUNCH!*

“Time to deal the final blow! Honorable Mention to Mr. Vagabond, but just like last time, it just wasn’t enough!”

*PERSIAN USED PAY DAY!*

Unable to respond, the Archeops of Team Drunky Kong are picked off one by one!

“And we’re down to the final team! Will Team GOOD BOI take down the Kitty KAIJUS!?”

The holographic boy with the pretty hair orders his team to release their Pokémon - a group of pink, absent-minded looking Slowbros! But this time, it's the opposing team that gets the upper hand!


*SLOWBRO USED CONFUSION! UNFORTUNATELY, IT HURT ITSELF!*

It’s all the pretty-haired boy can do to facepalm at his failed attack.

"Crash Rodríguez is new to the XWF, and we’ll introduce him to some of the best talent this company has to offer!”

*UMBREON USED DARK PULSE!*

“Isaiah King has shown some good things here and there, but when the pressure is on, he ends up choking - much like the rest of his team. And now, I’m going to suffocate him!”

*CLEFAIRY USED BODY SLAM!*

“Sorry Ned, but I am a Captain to prove I’m different than my sister, and now I get to show you that first hand!”

*PERSIAN USED PLAY ROUGH!*

“Sigh… these guys are their own worst enemies. They could be powerful if they wanted, they just keep getting in their own way. But I have a score to settle with Mark Flynn - this time, the only one walking out the winner is me!”

*RAIKOU USED ZAP CANNON!*

The strength of the KAIJUS is too much for the confused Slowbros, and soon they are blasted off the arena, turning into a little shining dot in the sky!

“And that’s the game! The Kitty KAIJUS are the winners of this Pokémon Tournament! What fine teamwork and discipline! Thank you for playing, and come back soon!”

And as the announcer says these words, the game ends, and the pods open, signaling it’s time for the team to go. Ryleigh Dixon, Raion’s girlfriend, is waiting for them outside.

“Hello, darlings! Everyone have a good time?"

Angie embraces her Cincinnati Hitgirls teammate.

“TOTES did, Ryleigh! Your boyfriend has been very kind to bring us here! Uh… something wrong?”

A group of men in suits enter the area, and Vita Valenteen looks particularly uneasy. Angie and Oz do not seem to understand, but something in Ryleigh’s sudden freezing tells Raion she is terrified.

“Love, what’s wrong?”

Ryleigh is unable to bring herself to tell Raion everything, but she whispers at him as he grabs hold of her.

“Raion… please be careful. I don't like the look of those men."

To his surprise, she hides behind him. At that point, one of the men in suits looks at him, and the rest turn in his direction as well. They seem positively uneasy at the Lion’s presence.

“Wait… isn’t that officer Kido’s son?”

“We don’t want any problems with the Osaka Police! Let’s get out of here!”

Somewhat hastily, but not conspicuously enough to draw attention, the suspicious men start to leave the Pokémon Center. As Ryleigh draws a sigh of relief, the Lion’s thoughts ignite once more…

“Were those… Yakuza? What were they doing here? And what did they want with me?...”



“Over the course of my time in the XWF, I have heard many criticisms, all eventually proven false by the fact that I achieved in two years more than many have done in a lifetime.

But now I get the most extraordinary things. Bobby Bourbon, the same Bobby Bourbon that lost the Universal Title the same night he won it and against whom I’ve defended it - now dares call me a paper champion!

I could spend a day laughing at this, if it weren’t so tragic. That’s what remains of Bobby: a whiner, a mere demagogue, the defining characteristic of a man in the wrong!”

“Oh, but he is not alone, for now we have Noah Jackson to tell me how evil I am for having dealt Mastermind the same treatment which he deals anyone.

But I suppose that’s all we can expect from someone that cannot even boast the only thing he didn’t do that I did not, eh Noah? Yes, you beat Vaughn, but neither you nor him got the crown, and not only did I give the one that did her first defeat as King, I also took her belt. This isn’t even the first King I beat - just ask Bourbon.

I suppose that’s why Sarah drafted you into her team  - because just like them, you simply cannot stand that as boring as I seem to you, I am simply that good. Because past that word you use non-stop, you have that same search for validation of which you accuse me.

Take solace in the fact that you are not only a liar, but also a hypocrite.

And one more thing. You might have missed it, given that no one heard of you since March Madness, but guess who’s the only Double Champion after Robert Main. That’s Raion Kido - your “can’t win them all” story. You want to focus on me, but the Kitty KAIJUS together shall dismantle your team whole, and make you suffer a complete humiliation.”

“But the best part of this all is that Ms. Sarah Lacklan is unable to keep her parasites in check, for that’s exactly what this team is, with a last minute replacement. Big D - all he has to say is he doesn’t respect me. I suppose it’s hilarious that he has the gall to say that despite the fact that he has been completely forgotten, but I guess he just has failed to realize that Bobby Bourbon is on his team. Maybe he’d realize I’ve now made a habit of beating him, but no one said Big D had a big brain anyway.”

“But you know what? Let them spend their impotent wrath. Let’s talk about the others. Like, say, Thunder Knuckles and his band of misfits. Thunder Knuckles went to greener pastures when things weren’t going his way here in the XWF. Even Nickles and Bourbon stuck in here when things got tough, but he was the only one that didn’t have enough intestinal fortitude to at least give it a try.

Speaking of that, here comes Jenny Myst once more after having been buried alive. I guess all that dirt got inside her head. She forgot that I was the only one to pin ALIAS in the Cannabis Cup, and that I was the last surviving member of the Meat Clowns last year - even outlasting her, my own Captain! And now she’s coming back to take a handout from Thunder Knuckles after getting humiliated at every single turn during 2022!?

After that comes the Mad Dog. He’s had some horrible bad luck, and this isn’t going to be any different. You’ve been vocal about how you don’t want to be a loser, and you’re surrounded by them. And now you’re coming against a team of people that have thrived despite the odds being stacked against them! That’s what I have with me, and there’s no way a team of failures like you all can come face to face with us and live!

Then there’s Doctor Deville - a shadow of what he used to be before he now comes for the occasional meetup of those old relatives most of us only see once a year. But after we’re done with the parasites that we have in front of us, maybe we’ll send the quitters back on their heels again.

After all… it’s only what they do best.”

“Next? Dolly Waters’ WISHMONGERS. Poor Dolly has been relying too much on her favor with other people, and what good has it done her? Sarah, Bobby, anything close to relevance for our poor Southern Gal to hang on! And now she’s got her old friends to blame once things don’t go her way. Unknown Soldier is still the same unintelligible, drug-ravaged wreck of last year, but at least there’s Dionysus and Corey Smith.

That same Corey Smith that hightailed it out, now says I haven’t faced him, but I have faced ALIAS, and Bourbon, and I’ve beaten them, and I am supposed to be scared? Every single person you’ve faced, I’ve beaten too - and they were holding gold. So just come and try to take this title from me, and maybe then it will be time for you to join the illustrious ranks of those to have been beaten by the Lion.

At least Dionysus finally made it to Television Champion, but this is a man who made his XWF run looking up to me. Now him and I may cross paths, and then I’ll show him what it means to face the man whose example he decided to follow upon joining this company.”

“Next comes Sidney Grey’s team. The very Vagabond from whom she usurped her captaincy, the boyfriend of the Ruby she so much hates, and a man whose biggest match is having beaten an uninspired Bourbon. If we exclude her, the only one to fear is Centurion, and just in my beginnings in the XWF I showed that of which I was capable against a Legend.

And as for the almighty King of the XWF, she shall always remember that her reign was cut short at the hands of Raion Kido. Back to Anarchy she went, just like Lacklan before her, to be King of the playground. For this is what this team is in the end - a bunch of fossils, their time of glory long past.

Come War Games, therefore, they shall learn just how big and scary the predators are - when the Kitty KAIJUS come to rule!”

“And finally Ned Kaye and the GOOD-BOI team, and our dear Ned has made the same mistake twice in a row. Because, once again, I should have been on that side. I’m sure that Mark Flynn is a nice trade, after all he did win our match, but therein lies the fundamental flaw of this team.

I know Ned tries his best, and he endures every failure. But it takes all shoulders to share the burden, and Ned is quite content to pick up the bits that his teammates cannot, or will not carry. Last time it was Jason Cashe’s incompetence, now it’s Mark Flynn’s boundless egotism. For whatever faults people may think I have, I at least recognize the value of my teammates. But you have your own saying your entire team needs Mark Flynn! Is that the GOOD BOI he is supposed to be?

And then what? Isaiah King and Crash Rodriguez. The talent is there, but just like you, Ned, they’re missing that extra step. An extra step that has taken me the greater part of a year to take, but that when the time came, I took despite the odds! I too had my own hesitations when facing the biggest names in this company - but I never let that deter me from going for the victory, and come War Games, neither shall you.

And if we meet, Ned, let me assure you: this is going to end just like last year - with your entire team eliminated by mine. And this time, there won’t be an excuse. You had the very first draft pick - and it will have been proven a waste, when the Kitty KAIJUS pick this edition of War Games clean.

Because make no mistake, ladies and gentlemen. We are a well-oiled team, and we’re marching down the victory road. A party of monsters that come to impress the might of a KAIJU to the Tokyo Dome. And if you’ve ever known of Pokémon, you know that this leads to only one conclusion.

It’s time for all of you… to get blasted off!”

Fade to black.