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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » War Games 2023 RP Boards
T.E.A.M Building
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MadDog Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
06-01-2023, 06:52 AM

How’s it going?   Thunder Knuckles asks as he approaches with a couple of cold ones.



Mad Dog pulls his trucker hat off and scratches his head.



I think I done got her figured out. Took a few extra nuts, bolts, and some good old duct tape, but I got it looken like the picture on the box.



Duct tape?



Yeah, cause if you can’t duct it, f**k it.



Why didn’t you just follow the instructions?” TK asks, handing Mad Dog a PBR.



Them instructions were written on rice paper, couldn’t understand a dag on thing they said.



Rice paper?



Uh, he means they were written in Japanese,” Sunny says, interjecting himself into the conversation.



You know TK, when you asked us to meet you here for  “team building”, this isn’t exactly what I thought you meant.



The three men, and turn and in front of them, taking up all of Thunder Knuckles front yard is the bottom half of what will soon be a giant mechanized robot. Mad Dog has put the feet, and legs together, but Sunny insisted TK would want to supervise the assembly of the cod-piece. TK is both impressed at the progress and shocked at the state of the “Mech”.



Now that is… Well…. It's something al-fucking-right", TK says before slowly taking a drink of his PBR.



OH GAWD, THIS IS AWFUL!!!



TK begins gagging and spitting out the PBR. Mad Dog begins laughing, as Sunny is clearly nervous, wanting to make a good impression on Mad Dog’s teammates and XWF legends. 



What kind of trailer trash are you? says Doc as he, to everyone's surprise, steps out from behind TK.[/doc]



To everyone's surprise, Doc steps out from behind TK.



"AHH!!! Where in the hell did he come from?!"  Sunny yells out jumping back.



TK shrugs, "Yeah, he does that."



And speaking of trailer trash…  What happened to our T.E.A.M.?



"What about it?  I think it looks badass, Doc," TK said as he motioned toward the mech.



Sparks fly out of what would be the butt of the robot, while loose strands of duct tape flutter in the breeze. Mad Dog has the sh*t eating grin, and is clearly proud of the “upgrades” he has made to the original model.  though,



See, whatcha got here, Doc, is a fine example of, good ol' fashion “Redneck Engineering”. N'allow me to first showcase to YOU the new AND improved STEEL reinforced toes that I scrapped die-rectly from two 1976 Volkswagen beetles.



”Wasn't this thing made of steel to begin with?” Doc whispers to TK who shush’s him and Mad Dog continues.



If I could die-rect your attention to those “thick-boy” thighs.  We are armored to the teeth with the outerds of a couple of old school-school buses!



TK laughs aloud and claps while Doc rubs his chin confused.



Where did he get all of the parts?  Were all of these vehicles just lying about?



"You're standing in a trailer park in Ohio, King BoB." says TK placing a hand on Doc's shoulder.



There's a short moment of silence.



"Yes,"  TK finally answered.



How convenient.  Go on.



I turned some old, big, ugly C-Band satellites into knee pads, not that this bad boy will be on his knees, but I learnt in Boy Scouts, always be prepared. Now them hips, they like Shakira, they don’t lie, well unless it’s on taxes, but taxation is theft anyway, so good for her. But I Neil Di-Grass-ah



Mad Dog winks at Doc, thinking he is using “$10 dollar words” to impress him.



Reinforced them by cutten an old fuel tanker in half and making hip pads, also, them fumes gave me a nice little buzz. The crotch, well, I took real special care of those, cause everyone knows they can be a weak spot. So, I triple reinforced the crotch with layers of sheet metal.



Mad Dog places his arm around Doc, who stares at the Mech in awe..



Now, I know what you are thinking Doc, why didn’t he protect them balls? Well, those are strictly decorative, was a little something old TK special requested.



Doc, and the rest of Team T.E.A.M, (minus Jenny who is running errands for the team) stare at two giant disco balls that hang from the crotch of the giant mech. Doc looks down as he feels something being shoved into his hand, and sees it is a bottle of PBR. Mad Dog clanks the neck of his bottle against the bottle in Doc’s hand and takes a big swig.



Doc shakes his head in amazement and then takes a drink. His look of shocked disgust changes to one of curious delight.



What amazing nectar is this?



That’s the blue ribbon of beers baby, and this here robot is gonna be the blue ribbon of rock’em, sock’em robots.



______________________________________________________________________



Inbred meth addict? Talk about a cliche. Way to go for that low hanging fruit Dolly. I assume at your height, both physical and mental, the low hanging fruit is all you can reach. Apparently, those waters don’t run very deep. Just imagine if I had told Mad Dog to go after the low hanging fruit and talk about how you could never win the big one. How when the lights are the brightest and the stage is the biggest, Dolly Waters chokes bigger than she did when she was interviewing for her position in B.O.B. Heard it was like when Starlight joined The Seven, and I’m talking the graphic novel, not the show.



No, no, no, I wouldn’t touch on that cliched low  hanging fruit. Just like it would be low hanging fruit of you being from a state full of sheep fornicators. Now, I’m not saying YOU are a sheep fornicator, but the state you are from didn’t outlaw beastiality until twenty twenty, no wonder you hated Trump and Andy Beshear so much.



No, no, no, I won’t talk about that because that is cliched low hanging fruit, left for low level talent like you Dolly. Sure, I understand you haven’t given my client a second thought since seeing his name across the line-up from yours, and that is why you went with such generic, low brow insults, but I can promise you Dolly that after War Games, you will never forget the name, Mad Dog Mark Wright.



Speaking of people not respecting or, even giving my client the time of day, Corey Smith. Corey says he’s keeping a close eye on my client, but couldn’t even dedicate more than two minutes of time talking about him. You spent so much time with TK in your mouth, I thought we’d find his balls imprinted on your chin. Maybe TK had a strategy of divide and conquer with his B.O.B brothers. Maybe he should have drafted Raion, just so they’d have someone to read the directions for constructing this robot.



Corey, you’d be well served to keep a close eye on my client. Sure, he sticks out like a sore thumb from his other teammates, then again he does when compared to the whole roster of XWF. But, just in case you are having a hard time noticing Mad Dog, since he hasn’t been on XWF TV much, he’ll be the one dropping you flat on your face, and crushing your skull with his cinder block head turning your brains into mashed potatoes.



Speaking of people with mashed potatoes for brains, The Unknown Soldier. This man talks like he’s ChatGPT inside a body. Then again, since you’re dead, and a voodoo doll, I guess you couldn’t really talk so you have need a computer to do the talking for you. That, and the whole body being dead thing, is the only things you and Stephen Hawking have in common.



Finally, the man who thinks of himself as intellectual as Hawking, but is only as impotent as Hawking. The man who has two little grapes, Dionysus. You talk real tough for a man with two shriveled up grapes in his pants. You like to paint a picture of you demolishing and decimating Mad Dog in the March Madness tournament when in reality you barely squeaked by him. Yes, a win is a win, but don’t sit there on your chaise lounge with your boys plopping grapes in your mouth and try to pretend it was a cakewalk, when it was anything but that.



The only thing getting walked, is the mud hold that Mad Dog is going to stomp in your ass. After he stomps that mud hole in you, he’ll walk it dry. He’s going to leave you so withered and dry that you’ll have to stop being the Grape God and start being the Raisin Rat.



Team Wishmongers, you’re only chance of winning this match is to find your Djinn in the bottle, and rub it out. You might as well go ahead and wish on the first star you see tonight. Cause wish as you may, wish as you might, you’re team is going to lose this fight.

______________________________________________________________________



Got everything I own

By the sweat of my brow

From my four-wheel drive to my cowboy boots

I owe it all to my blue collar roots

I feel like I'm workin' overtime on a runaway train

I've got to bust loose from this ball and chain

I'm a hard, hard workin man



Alright, y’all ready for the big reveal?” Mad Dog asks his T.E.A.M teammates as he stands in front of a giant structure that is covered by a collection of old bed sheets sewn together to make one giant sheet.



As ready as one can be I supposed



TK rubs his hands together and says, “I’m more excited than a virgin on his wedding night”.



Mad Dog grabs a rope that is connected to the sheet and wraps the rope around the hitch of a truck. “Go on now” Mad Dog hollers at Sunny, who is in the driver's seat. Sunny takes off in the truck, pulling the giant sheet off of the now fully constructed Mech. TK begins laughing while Doc is still amazed. Jenny, well she isn’t back from her errand yet, Mad Dog is beginning to wonder if she got lost.



Just like with the bottom half, I made a few upgrades. For example, look at the right hand. I filled the finger tips with all the fireworks I could find around these parts. You got Roman candles, bottle rockets, ladyfingers, buzz bottles, and snicker bombs in those bad boys. The left hand, well, that bad boy has got fifty twelve gage double barrel shotguns in it, with double OT buckshot.



Where did you get fifty double barrel shotguns?



Mad Dog leans in closely to Doc, as if sniffing him. Mad Dog gives Doc a curious look and says, “What’s it to you, you work for the government or somethen?”.



TK interrupts before the moment can get too intense.



Yo dude, what’s up with the chest? Did you give that thing nipples?



Mad Dog gives a goofy grin, as if completely forgetting about thinking Doc was part of the ATF.



Them are blunderbusses disguised as nipples. Redneck engineered some old wielding tanks into high powered tater guns. Now those nips ain’t loaded with vitamin rich milk, na, them suckers are loaded with shrapnel, talking broken glass, roofing nails, and whatever sharp stuff I found laying around this trailer park.



Knowing this place, there is probably a used needle or two in there too.



There sure is TK baby.



I notice you've added a bit of extra protection up top, as well!



That there is a personal aesthetic touch I added. It’s not just stylish though, it’s also functional. It’s an armored trucker hat. The bill is made of an old sawmill blade, and can be used as a projectile. The netting can be launched to entangle people, and the front panel can drop down as a blast shield to cover the face.



What is that crest upon that panel?



That there is gonna be our team motto, and symbol.



Is that a falcon?



Na Doc, that there is a redheaded woodpecker. Durior Labris Picus. Tougher than woodpecker lips.



Doc and Mad Dog look over at TK who is pounding away on a giant remote. TK presses hard into the buttons and jiggles the handles on the controller but nothing happens.



This piece of crap isn’t working. What did you do to it Mad Dog?



Shoot fire, TK, not a dang thang.



TK pulls out his phone and dials tech support. “TALK TO HUMAN!” TK yells into the phone. Mad Dog goes over to the Mech and begins examining it.



TECH SUPPORT! I ALREADY PRESSED ONE DAMNIT” TK continues yelling into the phone.



Mad Dog chuckles and then speaks ups.



I know what’s wrong wit it. Ain’t got no gas in it.



______________________________________________________________________



Ya know old Mad Dog been a thinken, and he been a dreamen about how he is gonna make it to the final survivors match. Been running them names through my head about the people I could face, guys like Ned “Don’t call me Flanders” Kaye, Mark “The GOAT” Flynn, and na I don’t mean the greatest of all time, I mean the dude looks like a goat. I bet old boy eats empty cans for iron, and eats his grass instead of smoken it. The former Universal champion, “Sycho” Sidney Grey, or even the current Universal champion himself, Raion Kido.



Raion, I ain’t done much in XWF, but I have pushed you to your limit. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t itchen to get back into the ring with ya. I wanna run it back and see if I got what it takes to hang with the best oh the best in XWF, and despite what my teammates may say about ya, you haven that their belt makes ya the best round here. I’m itchen to run it back with ya almost as much as I am to run it back with old Dionysus, but for a different reason, cause I wanna make old Dion the tooth fairie best customer.



Then there are XWF legends I could meet like Centurion. I hope I don’t meet him though, and I don’t mean in the ring, I just mean anywhere. That boy ain’t never had an opinion he didn’t immediately share with anyone. You got an opinion different than him, and he gets goofier than a pet coon. Let me tell ya something Centurion, opinions are like butt holes, everybody has one, and plenty of them stink. Lean a little bit closer and realizes yours don’t smell like roses, they stink like ya done stepped in the present ya dog left for ya on the front lawn.



Then we got people like Cee.U.Next.Tuesday, Noah Jackson. Noah, you done whipped a lot of butts around here, but I guess when you the Aussie Assblaster….



Mad Dog begins laughing out loud, his hands fall to his knees as he doubles over laughing. Mad Dog finally stands up straight and wipes the tears from his eyes.



Assblaster, I think that is supposed to be Corey Smith’s moniker, either that or you been eaten my Uncle Ronnie’s chilly, I tell ya brother the smells we make after eaten that stuff would pill the paint off the walls. I’m sure I won’t see ya in the finals, you’ll dick around too much an make an ass outta yourself, but just in case I do see ya I’ll make sure your ass gets blasted out of the match.



Oh man, ain’t gonna lie I got as excited as a puppy with two peters when I saw Sarah Lacklan’s name as a team captain and possible opponent for War Games. This time around Sarak is gonna LACK the element of surprise. I lost my debut match here in XWF to old Sarah, but I went into the match blind, with no idea who I was gonna fight. Shoot, I didn;’t know if it was gonna be an animal, vegetable, or a mineral, turns out it was a b*tch. Ain’t gonna be no surprise or mystery this time around Sarah, just gonna be tearing through you like your an ass and I’m Noah Jackson.



Then there is old TK’s BFF, his platonic life partner, Bobby Bourbon. Bobby, you and winning in XWF go together like milk and cookies, like peanut butter and jelly, shoot fire like Geroge and Tammy. Brother, you one of the men round these parts, but I tell ya what you’d rather sh*t in both hands and clap then ya would mess with me. Cause all your past success ain’t gonna be as worthless as petals on a wheelchair when it comes to thrown hands with old Mad Dog.



But at the end oh the day, old Mad Dog don’t give two sh*ts who I make it to the final survivor match against, I’m just maken sure old Mad Dog and as many members of team T.E.A.M get there as I can. I can’t predict who is going to win, and who is going to survive the other matches. But I can tell a this, old Mad Dog is going to the finals and everyone else is gonna…. GO MAD!!!

[Image: fl0UWrS.png]
Former GCWA North American Champion
Former MHW Throw Down Champion
XWF Record: 1-2
All-Time Record: 27-7-1
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[-] The following 4 users Like MadDog's post:
CTN (06-17-2023), Doctor Louis D'Ville (06-01-2023), Theo Pryce (06-04-2023), Thunder Knuckles™ (06-01-2023)




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