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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
On the Subject of Plans and Such
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Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry

XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)

05-19-2023, 02:34 PM

The STA Ranch
On the outskirts of Lacklanland

Sarah was wrong. She had to be. Angelica was going to make her see it.

”Just promise me you’ll try!"


Angelica sighed. It wasn’t every day you got to introduce your sister to your grandparents and their… extended community. When they had shown up on Angelica’s doorstep a little while ago, Angie didn’t have the heart to turn them away and promised them a little patch of land they could stay on. Her mother, Mary, had warned her against it, thinking it would not go over well with Bordy, the Queen Mother, and… well, she’d been right. But Angelica knew she could at least get Sarah to see things her way.

”Come on, what was I supposed to do? Besides, they’re fun and harmless people. You’ll grow to love them like I did, I’m sure!"

” it like Kenzi’s fist up my-”



While Angelica had in many ways outgrown her naïveté, when it came to Sarah, or anyone she loved for that matter, she was like a cyclops who’d been poked in the eye: she had a massive blind spot. Sarah had little interest in getting to know the pack of hobos who’d had the audacity to settle inside their borders, and the only reason she hadn’t unleashed a pack of Princess Bloodhounds on them was to appease her sister, who cared about them more than she should.

"There they are!"

Angelica waved enthusiastically as they approached. The other arm was still locked with Sarah's, who pulled up her nose.

”I don’t have to look, I can smell them from afar.”

”Yeah, the smell is kinda weird. It’s vaguely familiar, but I can’t quite place it…"

Sarah didn’t have the heart to tell Angelica exactly what it was she smelled, but had a feeling she’d find out herself soon enough. A tall, burly man with long grey-brown hair and beard approached the duo. He was clad in loose rags, and was smoking *something*. Upon seeing his granddaughter approach, he quickly hid it and waved back.

"Well well, if it ain’t my own kin!"

The pair halted in front of them, and Brian Hightower eyed Sarah from top to bottom, before grabbing her hand and making a small curtsy.

"And this must be the Blood Princess I’ve heard so much about. My granddaughter has had nothing but lavish praise for you."

”You are charmed, I’m sure, but I wouldn’t get too comfortable here if-.”

”Sis! Come on now. You promised you would try."

Sarah hadn’t.

She took a look around the camp full of tepees and campfires. In the distance, hippies were planting herbs, grilling up vegetables, or simply sitting bare-chested in a recliner drinking either light beer or absinthe. Sarah got a shiver down her spine; outside of the absinthe…it had been a favorite of their father’s…she wanted to do nothing more than take a can of gasoline and a match to the whole patch of land. She got up on her tippy toes to make herself look slightly taller and pricked a marvelously manicured finger into Brian’s hairy bare chest.

”We don’t take kindly to your types around here, ayuh.”


Angelica knew it meant trouble if Sar’s Londoner accent made way for that of Maine.

"Now little niece, I don’t want no trouble."

”Then you’d best remember sir, that trouble only comes to those who gone done lookin’ for it!”

Sarah side-eyed Angelica, who knew fully well what Sarah had meant by that, thinking back of her earlier… conversation with Aveline. Sarah turned on her heel and stomped off, cursing at the loose mud before hissing when one of the hippie community got too close. Brian scratched the back of his neck.

"Well, that could’ve gone better…"

”Oh don’t worry, she’s always like this at first. And then she comes around, because she realizes it’s more fun to be kind than cruel. I think she’s just extra touchy this week, and extra *extra* because you kind of remind her of one of our upcoming opponents. And I don’t mean this in a bad way, pop-pop, but he also gives off hobo vibes. You… *could* do with a bit of a bath."

"Really? Hmm, maybe you’re right."

”Pretty sure I am. Maybe we can divert one of the nearby rivers through here so you have access to running water, but… I’ll have to ask about that, first."

Seems like Angelica had learned her lesson… for now.

”Just keep your head down for now. I have enough on my plate as it is, what with this upcoming tag match, and War Games around the corner. It’s all weak link this, weak link that, and now I managed to make Aveline mad at me, and Sar-Sar is cross because I took her first overall pick and didn’t heed her advice to ask the Queen Mother before any major decisions."

"Well, I’m sorry, kiddo. I didn’t mean to start up any trouble ‘tween you and yours."

”It’s fine, honestly. Sar and I always get through this kind of stuff. Omega and Richards are a team we could eat for breakfast, normally speaking. They’d be like a pair of eggs, sunny side up, with some crispy bacon, a few pancakes with butter, maple syrup, and a cool glass of freshly squeezed OJ."

"Now I’m… really hungry."

Angelica’s description of breakfast was only a small part of the reason that he was.

”And BoB are like a rusty nail you can’t afford to step in on your way to the gym, while also dodging a truck with a driver who’s drunk behind the wheel and half asleep. They can hit hard and ruin your day if you let them, unless you’re careful and you know what you’re doing! And Sar and I totes know what we’re doing, we’ve got that championship winning pedigree! Speaking of, I’d best go and find her before she errr… sets fire to something, I dunno…"

Angelica got a pat on the head from her granddad and marched off. It didn’t take her long to find Sarah, hunched over her phone like a villain scheming their next evil plot.

”Things don’t always go as planned.

Looking at myself, there have been moments where I thought, “Welp, THAT didn’t work.” Losing Anarchy Championship matches to Rubes…twice…losing the Taggie Championships…twice…pushing Vinnie so far that he stripped me of the Universal Championship en route to firing me…just doing “okay” as Anarchy Commissioner…letting down Angelica, Vita, and Dolly as the World’s Greatest Life Coach…a couple more things…but how I have HANDLED those failed plans is the important thing. Every time I have fallen, every time a plan has fallen apart or blown up, I have learned, reacted, and improved.

The same cannot be said for Omega. Make no mistake, literally everything he’s ever tried to accomplish hasn’t gone to plan. Yes yes, he has “succeeded” in creating a small gathering of fans and sycophants equal to the Knedophiles in both quality and quantity, but every other thing he’s planned to do has ended in those handful of fans having to scramble to find excuses and justifications for a long list of embarrassments. Each leap into his wild imagination, from quantum to aggregate, has been naught but idiocy, distraction, and hysteria, to a point where even Gravy is composing a strongly-worded letter to give advice on slowing down. And while his comments about Robert receiving too many random championship opportunities has some merit, he may wish to look in the mirror and become aware of all the times Management has given him similar chances with far fewer validity. And after all those chances he’s had, all he can do is, with every piece of promotional content he produces, remind us that he “ain’t done shit yet.” Which makes his comments about my sister…two-time XWF Taggie Champion…being the ‘weak link” within the match all the more silly. But I suppose I expect that from someone who planned on a clueless partner to carry them while they spend 65% of their allotted promotion time showcasing a match in another company that no one cares about.”

“Whatcha doin’, Sis?”


“Nabs saying meanie things into that brick you call a phone instead of paying attention, right?”


“Awesome sauce!”

“I’m saying mean things to the Drone!”

Sarah waved at the XWF Interview Drone (Mark VII) that was a canonical standard for every member of the company, even those that didn’t want them.

”Well gosh darn it, I thought I had chased those off! Although I suppose we aren’t in Texas no more!"

Angelica got happy flashbacks of that time she shot down a whole squadron of XWF drones back on her ranch in Texas with all the guns she was legally allowed to carry… which, back there, had been an infinite amount.

“I honestly don’t know why peeps like Rubes or Aphriya bother with their dumb head thingies. Anyway, I was about to talk about Chuckles.”

”“...let me guess…”

“I hope what he’s planning works out for him.”

Angelica could only blink.


”Listen, I have spent a LOT of time talking smack about Charlie Nickles, it’s true. And he’s deserved it. But…as far as I can tell…he’s earnestly trying to get back to what he not only was…but COULD be! I’ve stated before that the Charlie I met when he stormed into the XWF is a scary Charlie. THAT Charlie, determined to win the love and honor of his family, who would stop at NOTHING to achieve that, could and would demolish just about anything in his path. But, I got that shitty Charlie who did things like have sex with a title belt.”


”THIS Charlie? He’s a man on a mission for change, and not only do I take pause for caution, but I also respect it. THIS Charlie, who understands what he wants and what it takes to get it, is a Charlie that can find respect within the House of Lacklan. With all sincerity, I hope things work out the way he plans. But I’m not exactly holding my breath. Like other plans he’s had, this could very well blow up in his face, could well leave him falling flat and wondering what exactly happened. And as he knows, it only takes one or two missteps to find yourself on the losing end in life in general, and in the ring against a Lacklan specifically. And in this regard, he has to face two! Again!”

”I do have Dad’s height! And eyes!”

“...yeah yeah…don’t need to point it out…again…for, like, the fifth time today…”

”I know you’re touchy about it, but I’m proud to be his daughter too! Even if I never knew him like you did. I’m sure he’d have a blast watching us compete together. It’s a pity that my whole upbringing and being basically stolen from here didn’t exactly go as planned…"

“SPEAKING of things that didn’t exactly go as planned…”

Sarah’s eyes filled with a mischievous light that gave Angie cause for concern.

“...why are you smirking?”

“Hey, Todd!”

Sarah waved her hand at the drone.

“Please show how Angelica thought the conversation regarding her kin would go with Mother?”

“That’s…that’s not EXACTLY how I thought it would go. I mean-... I didn’t think there’d be quite SO many hearts!”

Sarah shushed her with a wave of her hand. 

“Now show them what AXLY happened!”

”...not funny!"

Angie narrowed her eyes as Sarah giggled and Todd recognized the murderous intent within those blue orbs. He wasn’t the operator when Angelica had used an arsenal to wet a Proud Boy’s dreams to take down some of the IDs in her match with the Chameleon…talk about what a stupid idea HE was…but he was well aware of her capabilities. He’d heard she once killed a woman with one of her kicks! So Todd wisely flashed “Goodbye!” in Morse code through the drone and flew away.

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40 Squirrels (05-20-2023), Angelica Vaughn (05-19-2023), Doctor Louis D'Ville (05-20-2023), Jay Omega (05-19-2023)

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