”Hey Sis, how are-"

POW!

”OW!"

YOU DUMB BITCH!

”WHY DID YOU HIT ME?!"

YOU THINK YOU’RE FUNNY, HUH?!

POW!

”OUCHY STOP IT IT HURTS SO MUCH!"

I’VE BEEN BUILDING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH VITA FOR YEARS-

POW!

”PLEASE STOP!"

-AND MAKE IT SO GODDAMN CLEAR THAT SHE WAS GOING TO BE MY FIRST DRAFT PICK-

POW!

”…ple…."

-AND YOU FUCKING STEAL HER FROM ME?!

……………..

EVER SINCE WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER IT’S BEEN ALL “ANGIE ANGIE ANGIE”

”Sar?"

ONLY DAMN REASON YOU GOT THAT PICK WAS BECAUSE I DID BETTER THAN YOU IN THE BATTLE ROYAL

”Sar-Sar?"

AND ANOTHER THING, I-

“Earth to Sar-Sar!"

Sarah Lacklan shook her head and her world changed. Gone was her sister, crying and bleeding on the floor at her feet, and instead was that same sister sitting tall and ramrod straight, across a table from her.

“Um…er…”

Sarah shook her head a little bit and looked down at the table full of shot glasses accompanied by a long, thin clear bottle.

“Lost you there for a sec, Sis. Where were you?"

Sarah blinked a few times.

“....Earth 245154, I think. Certainly not here.”

”What to who now?”

Sarah gave her a dismissive wave as she came fully back to herself.

“Something Dummy Omega would understand, I’m sure.”

“I think his name is Jimmy?"

“Literally what I said.”

”Nabs."

“Abs.”

“Nabs to the power of nopes."

“Abs to the-”

“I’m out of here.”

The sisters turn their heads to see Kenzi Grey getting up and walking out of the room, mumbling to herself about needing “...more Black friends…”

“N-E-Ways!”

Angie brought them back to the present and motioned in front of them.

”Jimmy’s new partner…new to us, but not new to wrestling…or Jimmy…obvs…is all about Zim-Quila, so I figure we take some shots to better understand our opponent!"

Sarah rolled her eyes in a very Sarah way. You know how she is.

”Sure, Sister. And then maybe we can play a fun little game where we try and see who is the better boozehound! Just say you want to get sloshed.”

”Pfft, you’ve clearly never been part of a college sorority, Sis. Drinking games are fun!"

”Why would *you* want to participate in an activity that impedes *you* getting to *your* beverage and where the ‘winner’ drinks less?”

Angelica didn’t have an immediate response to that, to be completely fair, well construed point. She paused for a bit, with a bottle of ice cold Zim-Quila and a pair of shot glasses in hand, but Sarah waved it away. She appreciated Angelica’s effort for a sisterly night out, if nothing else.

”We should play Zim-Quilapong!"

”Hard pass. How about ‘Never Have I Ever?”

”Harder Pass! How about ‘Bite the Bag’?”

”Hardest pass! How about… ‘Most Likely’?”

”As innnn….. This person is most likely to set the world on fire?”

”...fuck…”

Sarah squinted at a sniggering Angelica and dumped some reeking tequila into a shot glass before downing it.

”Gross! Where’s the salt and lime, Sister??”

”Oh, that’s too much of a hassle…"

”My turn! This person is most likely to forget salt and lime for a tequila drinking game!”

”...clever…"

Angelica poured herself a shot, and downed it, all without losing eye contact. She didn’t flinch at the taste or the burning sensation in her throat. She was used to it quite well. That’s what partying with Roxy did for you.

”THIS person is most likely to beat Sidney Grey in a drinking competition."

”But… that’s you?”

”Yep. I wanted a freebie."

”I kinda wish you hadn’t brought her up. #MoodKiller…”

”Fine, fine, my bad. It’s not like she and I are on terribly good terms as of late, either. Not after the stunt she pulled at the Battle Royal, although I guess that worked out pretty well for me in the end, right? Still, winning would’ve been even better! But hey, let’s lighten the mood again. Check this out… On the upcoming Warfare, we are facing Charlie Nickles and Bobby… *inhale* *BURP*-on!"

As Angelica giggled, Sarah had trouble not retching.

”DISGUSTING!”

”Oh come on, that was funny! Now who’s the #MoodKiller!?"

”...your peasantry behavior unbefitting royalty…? it was a little bit funny…like, as little as Chuckles has of ever beating me in a singles match…

Angie’s eyes glazed over for a second as Sarah…again…reminded her, or literally anyone in front of her, about some random accomplishment of hers…as Sarah took a shot. The suddenly pained expression on Sarah’s sharp face was hilarious.

”GUH! What the hell IS this?!”

She slammed down the glass with enough force to crack it slightly.

”I mean, you’re not wrong. I’ve had moonshine brewed in toilet bowls that tasted better than this… Figuratively, obvs."

”I swear to Baby Jesus, Sister, if we don’t get actual competition in this company, competition befitting the greatness of Team Heel SH-

“THAT’S NOT OUR NAME AND YOU KNOW IT! HOW MANY TIMES??!”

“First of all,”

“NOPE!”

“And second,”

“LALALALALLAALA NOT LISTENING!”

“But at least we HAVE a name! Maybe in some random universe that no one has ever heard of, Jay is actually successful in wrestling, has friends, and is considered to be more than just a comical distraction for sci-fi NERDS like my Beloved, but in THIS reality, in THIS world, he’s just some lower-card dummy with…apparently…some new buddy that will likely be as equally forgettable as the latest Buff Dude.”

”Buff dudes aren’t necessarily forgettable!"

”Really? Name three.”

”Ummm… ummm… Isaiah King! …and others."

Sarah’s eyes rolled back hard enough for Angie to feel.

“Don’t get me started on my mumsie-in-law’s latest slobberfest. The REALITY, dearest sister, is that Jay, despite how popular he is with a super-duper small fanbase within a closet somewhere filled with knock-off “Star Trak Wars” merchandise, is just another run-of-the-mill dummy floundering in a sea of nothing. And his buff dude buddy not only brought the worst…and I do mean WORST…drink imaginable to bear, he didn’t even bother supplying a proper taggie team name! That’s just lazy paperwork, if you ask me.”

Sarah gingerly pokes the bottle of “booze” with a painted finger.

“Ugh…just…ugh. But if we’re thinking about ‘most likely,’ I suppose they are both good options to be considered ‘most likely’ to eat a Bobbybomb.”

Sarah looks up at Angie with a depth of sincerity in her eyes.

“We need to avoid taking that Bobbybomb, Sister. Sers legit, that stuff HURTS! I know he’s not the originator of the power bomb, or anything, but he might as well be! But, I have a small, teeny tiny, secret plan when it comes to him and that, so stay tuned.”

”Well, as it turns out, so do I, axly! Powerbombs are tough to counter, especially if you’re not good at that lookie libre style and can’t do hurricane ramens.”

”...dumb flippy shit…”

”But you have to rely on your own strengths, right? So I was thinking, the moment he lifts me into that Bobbybomb position and seeks to slam the Baby Jesus out of me, I push my hand and arm so far up his gullet until he sees blue!"

”Ew!”

”Exactly! The EW! My secret weapon in this match! Well, as much as your official finishing move as listed on my XWF roster page can be a secret. And you know better than mostly anyone how much people just LOOOOOVE to scroll those pages, and only those pages, for information about opponents."

Sarah throws up her hands.

”It’s so lazy, I cannot even!”

Sarah gives Angie a sideways glance.

”...still think that move of yours should be illegal, ya know…”

”Well, it’s not, so I’m going to keep using it! And that just means it’s effective. It actually came in quite handy, when we had our first batch of calves on the ranch and I had to assist giving birth, I had to stick my ha-"

”LALALALALALA, no thank you, not interested in hearing about that, not unless you want me to finish the rest of this revolting bottle all by myself in one go.”

”Noes! Gimme that!"

Angelica snatched the bottle from Sarah’s grasp and poured herself another shot.

”All’s I’m saying is that I’m going to enjoy this match so much. We might be on opposite sides during War Games, but honestly, there’s nothing better than tagging with you, and that’s why we’re the best team in the biz, shiny titles to validate it or not. People like Burpy and Chuckly will never have what we have. Like, we communicate on a deeper level, don’t we, Sis? Like, how craxy-as-flame is it that we both had the same numbers one and two on our War Games Draft Boards??"

”Mmmm-hmmm…”

Sarah wasn’t sure if she wanted to reach across and slap her, or stand up and clap for pulling off a move that was so typically ‘Lacklan’ she was almost jealous. But she didn’t want to boost Angelica’s ego too much, either. War Games was around the corner, and although she had wanted Vita on *her* team more than anything else, she was certain the House of Lacklan was going to come out strong, even with Sidney involved.

Angelica, for her part, knew that getting Vita was a coup in more ways than one. Not only had she sawn a leg from under Sarah’s chair, Vita was a phenomenal competitor in her own right… and a pretty cool gal to boot. If a bit scary, still. She was probably never going to get over the vampire stuff, not really. But Vita had pleasantly surprised her by remaining grounded… more grounded than she had been when she was still a regular living person.

Both sisters maintained eye contact as they took another shot of Zim-Quila. Suddenly, they shivered, and it wasn’t because of the booze.

“Wowsers! What’s that?”

“Why did it get so cold in here all of a sudden?”

“Mes filles.”

The two turned to see a figure walking through the doorway. Dressed in a black sleeveless gown that hung to the floor, along with a matching hijab that wrapped its way conservatively around her head and shoulders, the woman struck an imposing figure. Gaunt of face, nearly sickly, and witch cheekbones and a chin so sharp that they seemed like they could cut skin, her bare arms were covered in scars, one full of neat, razor thin lines, the other a jagged mess.

“Mother!”

Sarah’s face filled with a bright smile as she stood up from the table. Angelica was slower to rise, and while her smile was far smaller, there was still genuine warmth. She had come to appreciate and respect Aveline over the years, although she was uncertain if Bordy’s brand of loyalty towards her was because she genuinely cared about Angelica as a person, or if it was solely because of the blood in her veins. She feared it was the latter.

“Bonjour, Bordy! Comment ça va?”

Aveline Lacklan…’Bordy’ to some…scowled at Angie’s “imperfect” accent, as she was wont to do, but the Candaiian didn’t seem too bothered. Her French was still better than that of 99.99% of all Americans. Of all her insecurities, her bilingualism was not one of them.

“J’espère que vous êtes en bonne santé? J’adore vos vêtements, sont-ils nouveaux?”

Aveline’s stomping boots came to a halt before them and she stood straight with her sharp chin held high and her piercing green eyes full of judgment. Angelica had to try her hardest not to take a step back. She was a head taller than her mother-in-law, but Aveline had only become more intimidating over the years.

“We must speak on zee racaille you have brought into zee borders of your father’s domain, Il est ressuscité.”

Sarah’s eyes widened slightly as they shifted to Angelica.

Angie’s confident smile faltered.

“Um…er…well…ya see…I… I was AXLY just going to… ummm…”

Aveline’s eyes narrowed.

”Sis… What did you do???”

It wasn’t going to be a pleasant chat.